The Mating Rite (Big, Beautiful Werewolf) (Werewolves of Montana) (36 page)

But she wasn’t here.

He’d been home with his pack for two weeks. No word from Sam. At the townhouse in Oregon, she’d packed up, and left without a word. Ryder had driven her to Portland. It had taken all of Darius’ willpower not to go to Sam’s apartment, pound on her door, pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless, begging her to go home with him.

He missed her so much it hurt to breathe. A huge void had settled into his life and nothing could fill it. She had left when he needed her most, but he understood her reasons. It didn’t help with the pain, though.

Was it the pressure of the mating rite? He wasn’t certain. Didn’t matter. He’d already made up his mind.

A loud knock came at his door. “Come in,” he said absently.

Kyle joined him at the window. “Nice view.”

Darius said nothing.

“You going to keep moping around here or are you ready to return to the land of the living?”

Irritation filled Darius. “Don’t criticize me. You have Arianna. Your mate sleeps in your arms every night and greets you each morning. I’ve lost mine.”

Again.
The knowledge he’d lost her, this time for good, though she was still alive, within reach, killed him.

“Then go get her. Storm the castle, get her back. But don’t keep staring out the window hoping she’ll come driving down the road, back into your life.”

“I gave her a choice. I’m not pressuring her.”

“Maybe she needs to be pressured. Like me. Aiden had to convince me to stay. It’s harder with us half-bloods.”

He glanced at his friend. Kyle was a helluva hunter, a quiet Lupine with Satyr blood running through his veins.

Kyle pushed back the black Stetson on his head. “You need me, Darius, I’m here for you. We all are. No matter what.”

Darius lifted his mouth in a ghost of a smile. “Thanks.” Then he considered. “I do need you. You’re the best hunter the pack has. You can find anything, or anyone.”

He went to this desk, scribbled on a notepad, tore it off and handed it to Kyle. “Bring him back here.”

His friend’s eyes widened when he glanced at the note. “Shit. You serious?”

“Never more. He’s one loose end I need to tie up.”

When Kyle left, shutting the door behind him, Darius went to his desk. He typed into the computer, pushed the print button and then snatched the sheet from the printer. For a minute he stared at the words, feeling suffocated already, the walls marching in around him.

It wasn’t the best decision.

But it was the right one.

He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t live without Sam. He might as well be laid out in a coffin.

He knew what sacrifices were required for this. But her needs came first. He would leave his pack and move to Portland, to be close to Cael’s glen in Oregon, and close to Sam. He’d take his chances and find her.

Seeing her even for one day was better than never again having her in his life.

Darius pushed back from his desk, stared at his worn Western boots, his favorite jeans with the tear in the right knee. He’d ripped the denim while riding on horseback through the forest, racing Aiden.

Memories swarmed in his mind like a thick cloud of buzzing insects. He swallowed hard, gripped the paper and stood, looking around for the last time.

A pickup truck rattled down the gravel drive. Darius glanced out the window at the dust kicked up beneath the truck’s tires and recognized his alpha’s pickup. Good timing.

Swallowing hard, he started for the door and stopped, immobilized by ragged pain. Going away felt like gouging out his heart and leaving it behind. But living another minute without Sam? No. It was to live as the corpse of his own spirit.

Darius returned to his desk, sitting in the big leather chair Aiden had purchased as a birthday gift years ago. The alpha had been good to him, believing in Darius’ abilities and encouraging him, despite his struggles with reading. He loved him like a brother.

He only hoped Aiden would understand.

Footsteps sounded in the hallway. He stiffened, recognizing Aiden’s tread. The door swung open and his alpha stepped inside. Dark hair mussed, his beard scruffy, Aiden looked as exhausted as Darius felt.

It hadn’t been easy on him, either. Darius felt a surge of guilt. But there was no going back now. He held up the piece of paper. “I’ve been waiting for you to come back. We need to talk.”

Aiden pushed a hand through his mussed hair. “If that’s your resignation, I’m not accepting it.”

“You have no choice.” Darius folded it up into a paper airplane and sailed it straight at the alpha. It hit his chest and fell to the floor. “I have no choice. I don’t care anymore about anything, except Sam.”

“All this fuss over a female. You’ve lost your head. It’s time to stop thinking with your dick. You can have any woman you want as a mate.”

Fury spiraled through him. Darius pushed back from his desk, feeling his inner wolf rise.

Aiden raised a brow. “What? Did I annoy the big bad Lupine with the plain truth? Poor Darius, so insulted that I diss a woman you’ve screwed.”

“That’s it,” Darius snarled. He leapt over the desk and body slammed Aiden against the floor. “Don’t you dare disrespect her. She’s beautiful, she’s courageous and fun, sweet and sexy and—and—damn it, I miss her so much I want to die! “

He went to smash his fist into the alpha’s chin and realized Aiden wasn’t fighting back. “Aw hell.” Darius pushed off Aiden and rolled to the side, sitting on his haunches. “It isn’t worth it.”

Aiden sat up. “Isn’t it? After all this hard work and you’re saying you’re changing your mind about it? A little late.”

Darius cocked his head. “You been smoking the funny weed? You’re not making sense.”

The big alpha stretched out his long legs. “Had a talk with the entire pack. Told them how much you and Sam need each other. So we voted to move to Oregon. There’s a ranch for sale there in the mountains, close enough to Cael’s glen. If you can’t bring the Elf out of the woodlands, then you bring the wolf there instead. You’re family, Darius. The pack wouldn’t be the pack without you. Where you go, we go.”

Aiden paused, his expression solemn. “You’re not alone, Darius. You never have been.”

His pulse skittered as he stared at his best friend. “You’d do this for me? The whole damn pack?”

“Decision that big means a vote. And every single Lupine here, all of them, said yes. They’re willing to leave, sell the ranch and start over so you can have Sam in your life.”

Darius felt a thick lump in his throat. He scrubbed at his eyes, emotion overwhelming him at the pack’s loyalty.

“Aw, man, don’t go all girly on me and start crying now.” Aiden grinned and then sighed. “But as it turns out, our decision had a big flaw in it. Sam had already decided not to stay in Oregon. She called the ranch and told me she was at the train station. I just returned from picking her up.”

Darius could not think nor breathe.

And then he scented the most wonderful fragrance in the world, sweet freesia and cold snow and a hint of wood-smoke. Darius scrambled to his feet, clenching his fists, not daring to hope.

Aiden went to the door. “Yo, Sam, you still out there, listening? Come on in, honey, before this big lug faints on me.”

Sam stepped through the doorway, her eyes glittering with tears. She wore jeans and a white button-down shirt. And brand new Western boots.

“This is where I belong. With you. My heart knew it, but my head was just too stubborn to admit it.” She glanced at Aiden, who stood against the doorframe, grinning his fool head off. “And when Aiden told me what the pack was willing to do, for you, I realized that’s the kind of home I want. All this time, I’ve worried that being in pack meant the needs of the one were always outweighed by the needs of the many. And I was wrong. They love you so much they’re willing to give up everything for you, Darius. And if they can do it, so can I. Because I love you more.”

“Well, not everything,” Aiden drawled. “Jackson said we’d have to find a place with a DQ within thirty minutes driving time because there was no way in hell he’d give up ice cream.”

“His favorite treat with his mate, Lexie,” Darius murmured, still dazed that Sam stood before him.

“His favorite treat
on
Lexie,” Aiden explained.

Aiden laughed at Sam’s startled expression. He clapped Darius on the shoulder. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He bent over and picked up the paper airplane. “I take it you won’t be needing this anymore?”

Darius shook his head, still staring at Sam.

The door closed softly behind Aiden. Sam shivered and wrapped her arms around herself, looking uncertain. “Darius, are you okay? You’re acting as if you aren’t happy about this?”

He swallowed hard. “Sam, I’m standing here, afraid to breathe, afraid to move because I’m terrified this is a dream and I’ll wake up. I lost you ten years ago, and found you, and two weeks ago I thought I’d lost you again and all I’d have of you for the rest of my life were dreams. Tell me it’s no dream.”

A soft smile touched her mouth. She went to him and cupped his face. “It’s no dream.”

Her mouth felt warm and soft against his as she kissed him. Darius kept his eyes open, his body stiff.

And then she drew back, mischief glinting her gaze. “If that’s your idea of a welcome home kiss, we’re going to need lessons, wolf.”

This time, he kissed her with all the passion pent up inside him. When they broke apart, she smiled, her expression tender.

“That’s more like my wolf.”

Darius went to the small leather sofa and sat, pulling her onto his lap. For a minute, he rested there, stroking her hair, not wanting to break the joy of the moment as she cuddled against his chest.

This is cuddling?
his wolf asked.

Yes.

This is touch. I like this. Anything with her is okay with me.

Darius kissed the top of Sam’s head. “Tell me what happened.”

“I returned to Portland, packed my things and moved out of my apartment. I went to my father’s home. His banner-men came to greet me, carrying pendants with my father’s colors and his insignia. There were mountains with flowing rivers, vines draped over the rock bridges and flowers bursting with colors. Soaring columns carved with ancient runes and rooms opened to the fresh air. It was lovely. Beneath the shade of a 1,000 year oak tree, I dined at Cael’s table on grapes and wine and greens. The music! It was lovely. Harp and lyre and the sweetest songs you’d ever heard.”

Sam framed his face with her gentle hands. “But it was empty, because you weren’t there. You are my heart, Darius, and my soul, and how could I dwell in such heaven when all I felt inside was sheer hell?”

“Your father accepted your decision?”

She nodded. “He told me if Aiden will grant him permission, he would like to visit from time to time. I’d like that a lot, Darius. He’s my dad and I never got to know him.”

“Of course. Aiden will do it.” He wrapped a strand of her silky hair around his fingers and gently tugged her head back, gazing into her eyes. “You’re willing to become part of our pack?”

At her nod, he continued. “You realize this requires a mating rite. Are you certain?”

A shadow flickered in her eyes. “I won’t lie and tell you I’m not apprehensive. I’m scared. But I do know one thing. I’d rather endure ten thousand mating rites with you than spend another minute without you.”

Overwhelmed at the depth of her love, he struggled to swallow past the lump in his throat. Then he grinned. “Ten thousand mating rites, huh? Guess I’ll need a lot more lubricant.”

“Darius!” Sam lightly slapped his arm.

Laughing, he kissed her again. When they came up for air, he touched her cheek. “It’s tradition to hold a mating rite beneath the light of the full moon. The next one is in three nights. I’ll ask one of the females to brief you on what to expect.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

He sucked in a breath and fought for control. “Because I have my own preparations to make. I want to make this good for you, Sam. As good as I can make it.”

Because of the intensity of the mating rite, Sam had to have separate sleeping quarters apart from Darius. After the rite, when they were formally mated, they would move into a cabin together near the river.

She spent the rest of the day meeting Darius’ pack and touring the grounds with Darius. At night, they all ate together in the lodge’s big dining room. After dinner, Beth, Aiden’s niece, escorted her to a large cabin where several of the mated Mitchell pack females gathered in the living room.

It was a Lupine pajama party. They spent the night talking about their mates, pack life, problems. And sex. And more sex.

By the time Sam finally fell asleep, she felt dizzy with all the knowledge they’d given her. And incredibly, achingly, needing to be with Darius again.

She was not supposed to see him nor have any contact with him until the night of the mating rite. So the following afternoon, when Beth told her to go to Darius’ office, she wondered if something had gone wrong.

Sam went to the door and knocked. Aiden opened it, his expression grim.