The Mark of an Alpha (11 page)

"I can walk on my own."

"Damn it, Bennett!” Marsdon snapped. “Who the hell are you trying to prove yourself to? They're all inside. Everyone knows you are a bloody alpha—a literally
bloody
one right now. You don't have to hop to prove a point."

Bennett nodded, forcing aside his doubts. He let Marsdon slowly help him into the house and up the stairs, trying not to lean on him too much, trying not to let his weaknesses take over completely. Marsdon helped him straight into the bathroom and closed the door behind them.

"I can look after myself."

"Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to let you do that?” Marsdon said very slowly, very quietly.

Bennett swallowed as he heard the anger underneath the control.

"I'm not asking you to submit to me. I'm not asking you to let me screw you. I just want to look after my mate and tend his wounds. Is that really asking too much right now?"

Bennett stared at the floor between them. He gave one nod. Apparently that was all his mate needed. Marsdon sat him on the edge of the bath and gently removed his clothing piece by piece, tossing the ripped and bloodied fabric aside as he bared Bennett's body for his inspection.

It wasn't submission, Bennett reminded himself. He was naked while his master was dressed because Marsdon needed to inspect his wounds—that was all. He was sitting still and letting Marsdon give the orders because he was too damn sore and too tired to argue about it—that wasn't the same as being back in the club.

Marsdon filled a bowl with warm water and began to clean the dirt and the blood from Bennett's body. The cloth was soft against his skin, his touch impossibly gentle.

Bennett shifted uncomfortably under his master's scrutiny.

"Stop fidgeting."

Bennett immediately fell still. A moment later he felt heat rush to his cheeks at the puppy-like obedience. His master was so focused on the gash a set of claws had left across his chest, didn't seem to notice.

The cloth brushed across his nipple. Even through the fabric, his master's touch called to something inside Bennett. His whole body tensed. He bit back a gasp as his ribs protested. Marsdon crouched down in front of him, a deep frown marring his forehead.

Marsdon pressed his fingertips against Bennett's ribs testing them.

"Just bruised,” Bennett managed to whisper. He bit his tongue so hard to stop himself calling the other man sir, he tasted fresh blood.

"
Just
,” Marsdon echoed, evidently not the least impressed.

Bennett tried to ignore his master's touch as Marsdon diligently worked his way down his body, until he found a long cut running across his leg, and disappearing along the inside of his left thigh. Marsdon nudged his legs apart to inspect the full length of the cut. As he began to clean it, Bennett closed his eyes.

Within half a minute he was fully hard and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to hide his reaction to his master. Marsdon's knuckles brushed against Bennett's shaft as he reached for the bowl of warm water. Bennett flung his eyes open, staring down at his master.

Marsdon stared back at him, as if waiting for him to say something.

"I..."

Marsdon smiled, one of those twisted little smiles that Bennett was never sure how to interpret. “At least one part of you still likes me."

Bennett stayed silent, knowing he couldn't say the truth, yet somehow unable to tell a lie right then.

He loved his master with every part of him—and most especially with that part of him that longed for nothing more than Marsdon to wrap him in his arms and make the whole world morph into something quiet and simple, something that only required him to please one person rather than care for a whole pack.

Marsdon finished washing him without further comment. Bennett's erection flourished throughout the whole process. His whole body ached for his master's touch, for his master's permission to go back to being an obedient little pup for a while.

Finally the tortuously slow process was finished, and Marsdon stepped back. “Do you need help with anything else?"

Bennett shook his head. His whole body already tingled with the lingering aftermath of his master's attention, he couldn't cope with any more help from his mate right then.

"Call me when you're done in here. I'll come and get you."

Bennett just nodded, pathetically grateful that he would be allowed a few moments alone to take a leak in private without having to ask Marsdon for that as if it was a privilege only a master could grant. When Marsdon closed the door behind him, Bennett pulled himself to his feet and moved around the bathroom in slow, shuffling steps. As he was about to leave the room, he caught sight of himself in the mirror on the wall above the sink.

He looked as if he'd been run over, reversed over and then run over again. Turning away from the painful reality of his reflection, he made his way back into the bedroom. His whole body ached more with each step. His head whirled just from trying to walk across the room.

Marsdon spun around the moment he nudged the door open. “I told you to call me!” He rushed across and slid an arm around Bennett's waist to help him across to the bed.

"Sorry.” Right then, Bennett didn't know if he was apologising for not calling him, for being beaten black and blue or just for everything in the whole bloody world.

Marsdon eased him down onto the mattress. Bennett dropped his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes until the room stopped spinning.

"You'll be more yourself tomorrow,” Marsdon said.

That was right, Bennett thought. He wasn't himself. He probably couldn't be blamed for anything that he did that night. If he submitted to Marsdon right then, it wouldn't mean anything. He blinked his eyes open and looked up at his mate.

Marsdon stared back down into his eyes for a long time before he reached out and ever so gently stroked his hair back from his face.

"Rest. It will be a few days before everything heals completely, but you should still feel a lot better in the morning. The worst will be over by then."

"I'm okay now,” Bennett said quickly. He was more than well enough to do whatever his master wanted.

Marsdon's lips twisted into a smile, but his eyes stayed serious. He leant forward. For a moment, Bennett thought he would let their lips meet, but he just pressed a kiss onto his forehead and retreated to the bathroom.

A few minutes later he was back, stripping off his clothes to slide between the sheets next to him.

"Do you need anything?” Marsdon asked.

You
. Bennett shook his head against the pillow.

The other wolf switched off the light and made himself comfortable.

Bennett closed his eyes very tight, ignoring the pain as the bruise around one eye reminded him exactly why he shouldn't do that.

"If you want to, you can,” he whispered in the dark.

"What?"

Bennett swallowed. Even with his excuses ready, he couldn't bring himself to ask for what he needed. “We both know I'm no match for you like this. If you want to play those silly games from the club, this is your chance, isn't it?"

Marsdon shifted on the mattress.

Bennett felt relief flood through him, but no hands reached for him, no order was issued. He looked over his shoulder in time to see Marsdon grab his pillow and toss it on the small sofa that stood against the far wall.

"What are you...?"

"I am pretending that you didn't just say that,” Marsdon bit out.

Bennett frowned as his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he saw Marsdon try to make himself comfortable on the undersized sofa. “I don't understand."

Marsdon turned back to him. “If you can't admit it's what you want, that's one thing, but if you ever speak of the nights we shared that way again, God help me, I'll..."

From the other side of the room, Bennett heard Marsdon take a deep breath.

"Deny you were my submissive if you have to, but don't you dare make it sound like you were a victim. You had a choice. You had a safe word. It was never about you being unable to stop me.” Each word was said so carefully—as if that was the only way Marsdon couldn't control his anger, his pain right then.

"I'm sorry,” Bennett whispered.

"Go to sleep."

Bennett dropped his head back down onto the pillow. Closing his eyes he strained his hearing to listen to his master's breaths, hoping he could take comfort in knowing his master was in the same room with him if nothing else.

He heard Marsdon shift to wolf form in an effort to fit more easily on the small sofa, but sleep still didn't come quickly for either of them.

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Marsdon stood under the eaves of the old barn and watched his mate pad back towards the house in his wolf form. He made no move to alert Bennett to his presence.

It was stupid to hide in memories, especially when the peace he remembered feeling in that club seemed a million years ago. It was stupid to hide in the barn too. Just because that day when he'd pushed Bennett back against the wall was the closest they'd come to actually being happy in their own skins since the mating ceremony, that was no reason to damn near take up residence there. The barn was going to sparkle if he spent any more time sorting it out and tidying it up.

Bennett strode confidently into the courtyard between the house and the barn, stopping to shake the rain off his coat as he went. Some of his former ease of movement was returning as he healed. That was something. It wasn't the way Bennett had given himself and control of his every movement over to his master back in the club. But Marsdon was willing to feel pathetically grateful for the tiniest mercy right then. Maybe things would be easier between them now that Bennett was healing.

His mate hadn't been able to hide the stiffness and pain in his body over the last three days. And Marsdon hadn't been able to hide how much it killed something inside him to see his mate hurting and know there wasn't a damn thing he could do to help him. The way things were between them, he hadn't even been able to hold him close and comfort him. There had been times over the last few days when he would have sold his soul for that privilege.

In the middle of the courtyard, Bennett stopped again, inhaling deeply and taking the scent from the air. He turned towards the barn door. Marsdon was about to turn away, not wanting to see his mate be the one to turn away from him yet again, but the wolfen Bennett stepped forward. For the first time in what felt like years Bennett made a move towards his master.

Marsdon looked around, but the rest of the wolves were out of sight. Bennett wasn't putting on a show for the others. Marsdon swallowed, not wanting to hope too soon. He stood where he was as the large, black wolf came closer. A few feet away from him, Bennett stopped. The switch back to his human form was seamless and perfect. Within seconds, a naked man crouched at Marsdon's feet.

He expected his mate to rush to stand up and disclaim even the slightest association with the man who had once loved kneeling naked at his feet. Instead, Bennett tilted his head back, looking up at him for several seconds before he rose slowly to his full height. For once it seemed like his mate was able to see things just for what they were without worrying Marsdon would see submission where it wasn't intended.

Rain water dripped from Bennett's hair, winding in tiny rivulets down his face and neck. As much as he longed to track their progress, Marsdon held his gaze until Bennett looked away.

"Enjoy your run?” Marsdon asked, not able to keep the snap from his words, even when he was trying to be polite to his mate.

Bennett nodded. “The forests have been well managed. They'll provide well for the pack."

Freed from keeping his gaze, Marsdon let his eyes wander over his mate's naked body. There were only a few marks left here and there to testify to his recent challenge.

"You're healing,” he said, and silently cursed himself for not being able to achieve a friendlier tone. Even that sounded like an accusation.

Bennett nodded again.

Marsdon clenched his hand into a fist to stop himself reaching out and touching the little patches of discoloured skin that were all that remained of the bruises that had practically covered Bennett's body a few days ago. He was going to have permanent scars in his palms in the shape of his finger nails if he wasn't careful. His hand was forgetting how to form any shape but a frustrated fist.

"I'm more than well enough to do anything that needs to be done,” Bennett said.

Marsdon nodded his agreement—not that being beaten black, blue and many interesting shades of purple had stopped Bennett trying to prove to the whole world that he was able to outdo any other wolf in the pack no matter how many injuries lay beneath his skin.

Bennett shifted his stance. If Marsdon hadn't known better, he'd almost say his mate looked nervous. The desire to pull him close and just hold him as tight as he could until everything was right between them burned inside him, stronger than ever.

"Just because some humans consider something to be submissive, that doesn't mean we have to follow their traditions as well as our own,” Bennett blurted out.

Marsdon frowned. “What?"

Bennett's lips twitched into an anxious little smile. “Kneeling can't be considered submissive if you've got a good reason to be on your knees, can it?” he asked. He dropped his gaze, not in submission, but to rest on Marsdon's crotch in blatant offering.

Marsdon caught his eyes when he looked back up. He made a point of letting Bennett see that he was dropping his gaze in the same way. Stark bollock naked, there was little Bennett could do to disguise the fact he wasn't entirely enthusiastic about the idea.

"I'm not interesting in an apology blow-job,” Marsdon said.

Bennett's jaw clenched. He turned away.

"You never used to need an excuse,” Marsdon said before he could leave the barn altogether. “You used to welcome me into your mouth because you loved doing that."

"I can still enjoy giving my mate pleasure.” Bennett offered.