The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them (5 page)

There are numerous more examples of the way socialization has instilled in us false beliefs, but the short of my point is that these two grand beliefs, that males have to earn females and that females’ sexuality must be controlled, alter the general behavior of both males and females on a very large scale. It literally makes the world go round.

Work Hard

While all heterosexual males desire nothing higher than women as long as their basic needs are met, the way they are led to believe they are of less worth than females and that they have to earn them causes them to shift their natural priorities. Success,
achievements, and money come first, while enjoying women ends up further down the list. And it stays there until many males have wasted their youth and stamina, or even died, long before making it a high priority. It becomes normal for males to spend years in school and at work chasing a long-term goal without ever saying a sensible word to an attractive female.

It is ridiculous how motivated most males can be, following the belief that women will like them in the end. The guys in the gym talk about all the women they are going to go after once they have molded their biceps and lost that gut. After graduating high school, they join the military because they hear women like men in uniforms, or they enroll medical school and study for years to become doctors because they hear women are attracted to doctors. Even suicide bombers blow themselves up believing it will land them in paradise with 72 virgins as a reward for their actions. And endless numbers of males chase the dream of becoming rock stars because they dream of one day making it big and then finally “getting laid like rock stars.” They do all this and much more because they are motivated by the promise of all the women they will obtain as part of their success.

Play Hard

Females’ behavior is altered by these grand beliefs too, just differently. Society’s views of very sexually active and experienced males and the same type of females are quite different. If you are a promiscuous female, you are called “slut,” looked down upon, and in some cultures stoned to death. If you are a promiscuous male, however, you are called “stud,” looked up to, and admired for life — by both females and males, the young and old, the educated and uneducated. These different reactions create different kinds of social pressure for males and females that stimulates
different behaviors.

The reality is that all females enjoy doing so-called slutty things, but no female wants to be
perceived
as a slut. One thing that females consider important is to be perceived as extremely cautious about whom they choose to have sex with. They are very concerned about their sexual reputation because of the way that society responds to it. Throughout time, the worst insult a female could receive has always been “whore,” and it remains so today. If you want to insult a male in a similar way, you have to do so by accusing his mother of being promiscuous (calling him a “bastard” or “son of a bitch,” for example), as being accused of being promiscuous has no effect on him directly since it is not associated with anything bad for males. To the contrary, such a comment would be a compliment.

Today females are still worried about being seen as “easy,” as in easy to get into bed with, since society still looks down upon such females. In an attempt to hide their true nature and natural urges, they have come up with the strategy of “playing hard to get,” which is more amusing than brilliant since it implies that females really
are
easy, though they are just pretending not to be. This is exactly the case. Women are very easy to get into bed as long as you understand what they want and how to give it to them. All women will, for instance, have sex on the first date, but few will admit it. Some do not even know they would as they have never met a man who knew how to seduce them that quickly and, sadly, most never will. However, the only reason that sex on the first date is even an issue for females is because of their socialization suggesting that it is inappropriate to engage in.

Some females manage to stay home, slowly getting more and more depressed and sexually frustrated, while those who cannot resist their natural urges give in to all their temptations
and then pretend as if they never did. Most women fall somewhere in between these two extremes.

In reality, females absolutely love sex but, according to society, they are not supposed to enjoy it. However, this social pressure has unexpected consequences: Their socialization is luckily not enough to actually stop them from having a lot of sex with many men, since natural human desires cannot be suppressed successfully forever, but it will make them try to avoid taking any responsibility for it so that they appear to be “good” and “innocent” girls. Females are crazy horny, but they do not want everyone to find that out and label them as sluts. The most disturbing side effect of this behavior is how common it is for females to fantasize about being raped. Surveys have found that it is one of their most common sexual fantasies. This is not because they want to be raped for real, only that to be taken by force, against their will, is the ultimate form of sex without responsibility. Thus, it is a sexual fantasy that females may indulge in without feeling guilty.

When women are unable to suppress their desires, however, and when their fantasies are not enough to satisfy them, they will fuck around like rabbits but not admit it, and when the truth is exposed they will try to downplay the extent of their adventures and their responsibility for them. You can see signs of this if you pay attention to
how
they usually explain why they first slept with a man. They often describe it a little like this: “It just happened …,” “We somehow ended up in his bedroom …,” “I had been drinking …,” “I was very confused during that time …,” “He took me …,” and so on. It is quite common that females will describe what happened by first stating that
they
really did not have much control of the situation or that they had no responsibility for what happened, even though they wanted it to happen
too and describe it with great passion as soon as they get their disclaimer on the public record.

When you are alone with a woman in bed, you can usually fuck and talk to her like the horny slut she really is, and she will truly enjoy it. However, she will usually become very upset if you bring anything of that sort up in public, in front of other people, because image and reputation are everything. This is something that you have to be aware of when attempting to seduce women.

Idealism

From society’s point of view, there are different ideals for males and females, and the larger the percentage of the population that strives toward these ideals, the more successful the society will be. Hence, our socialization has evolved so as to encourage these ideals. The more successful a male is, the more valuable he is to society, and the more sexually exclusive a female is, the more valuable she is to society. Males are taught that their value comes from their achievements and their proven abilities to provide for others, with the hero being the ideal male — a male who is even willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good. This makes the loser the least ideal male. Females, on the other hand, are taught that their value lies within their sexuality and their ability to give birth and raise children, with the virgin labeled as the ideal female — a female who is willing to give up sexual pleasure for the greater good. This makes the slut the least ideal female.

For this reason, all successful cultures are full of stories of idealized females and males which tell about good things happening to female virgins and male heroes and bad things happening to female sluts and male losers to make sure the points are portrayed clearly.

What is easy to forget, however, is that these are ideal males
and females for society at large, but not necessarily to each other, and since they are ideals, that means they are exaggerated extremes. If all females actually were virgins and stayed that way, and all males became heroes and died in sacrifice, humankind would have ceased to exist within one generation. So, this grand plan is in place for societies to succeed, not individuals, and it is flawed when executed perfectly. The promotion of these ideas has worked well, however, because most people merely strive toward them, which has been enough for societies to prosper.

Although it is irrelevant in the end, one might ask out of curiosity
why
society has prospered with these ideals. What is the point of controlling females’ sexuality?

The answer is probably because females have more at stake when they have sexual intercourse, as they indeed are more vulnerable than males and risk becoming pregnant. The more careful a female is, the better the chances that both she and her babies will survive. To have sex and potentially ending up pregnant is a huge risk
only
to her, while a male risks pretty much nothing at all from having sex with a female. Females only produce one egg per month, and once inseminated females will become much more vulnerable for nine straight months, leading up to childbirth, which is an experience that could actually kill them. Remember that medicine is a manmade science; painkillers, vaccines, birth clinics, and such inventions are not readily found in nature and are nothing that we humans are born to depend on. These advances have only been around for a few generations in the developed world, but even today you do not have easy access to these advances everywhere.

Males, on the other hand, produce millions of sperm every day and are capable of inseminating a new female if they please about 15 minutes after the previous one. There is no natural or biological
risk involved at all, with the exception of sexually transmitted diseases which affect females too and take a long time to develop. Males are not the ones who will get pregnant. You know this, of course, unless you have been brainwashed by the modern idea that “there are actually two people who get pregnant.” Actually, only the female does, but it is in the best interests of society as a whole for all males to believe otherwise, because beliefs govern behavior, and if you want people’s behavior to change, you have to change their beliefs.

However, this approach does not make sense today. Control of females’ sexuality might have been a good idea, perhaps even critical, in the past, but today contraception is readily available. Today it is so easy to practice safe sex that it is much better, simpler, and healthier to preach and practice the use of condoms instead of locking up females or trying to make them feel guilty for indulging their natural urges.

So what is the point of controlling males’ effort?

The answer is probably that males have little at stake when they have sexual intercourse, as they do not risk becoming pregnant. Therefore, their lack of a strong natural desire to stay and care for only one female, to support her and her children, is not optimal as far as society is concerned. However, nothing is as desirable for a male as an attractive female is, and obtaining women is males’ greatest motivator. So making males believe they are less valuable than females and that they must earn females not only improves the chances of males supporting females and their children, but chasing females indirectly also causes males to pull society along with them as they create inventions, discover resources, and start corporations while chasing their achievements and competing with each other. These are byproducts that have inarguably benefitted all of us and helped humankind evolve from cold and
unlit caves into heated and illuminated high-rises.

Imagine a few hundred years ago when Columbus made his voyage across the Atlantic Ocean toward the unknown horizon, perhaps toward the very end of the earth. If he were to have had all the women he wanted, would he have left his harem to embark on such a dangerous journey? Would he have been able to gather all the necessary crew of male sailors to join his ship if all of them too had all the women they dreamed of?

I seriously doubt it.

No sane male would risk his
life
going on such journeys or spend his entire
lifetime
in a laboratory to create technological advances. As far as work goes, males would most likely do a lot less, probably just enough to get through the day, so they could enjoy the rest of it with a beauty in their arms or in their beds. Technology would not have evolved at anywhere near the pace if all males were able to get the women they desire. Yet technology has evolved, and our world is full of useful inventions, and the males who created these inventions (few of them were female) are considered heroic, virtuous, and greatly celebrated in public.

Women truly are the greatest motivation there is for males. A lot of good music and useful inventions would never have come to fruition if males knew that they could just go straight after the women they wanted without being successful in society first. This is why there will always be high-level incentives to make females play hard to get and drive males to work hard for females.

However, this approach does not make sense today. Controlling males’ effort might have been a good idea, perhaps even critical, in the past. But these days, our standards of living are high, most of us live in societies that are peaceful and prosperous, and there are billions of males. Not every single male must sacrifice himself.

Perhaps long ago there were tribes in which males and females did not do much more than pursue and enjoy each other. Unfortunately, they would eventually be wiped out by any rival tribe that was willing to put that pleasure aside for a brief moment and spend some time developing weapons and martial arts. I do not know if this is true, but I do know that all the societies that have survived until today have well-organized military forces, and today males focus a lot of time and energy on things other than the pursuit of women, even if they admit they want nothing else. I also know that you are not risking your survival by pursuing women today, and neither does focusing on women for a while mean you have to give up your career entirely or completely neglect your community. However, you ought to know at least that there
is
an alternative to becoming a societal sheep, to be a man, and that alternative happens to be what women want.