The Man You'll Marry (10 page)

“What shocks me,” Jordan continued, “is that I’ve worked on different projects with him over the years. We’ve also kept in touch socially. And not once,
not once
, did he mention a son.”

“Perhaps there was never a reason.”

Jordan dismissed that idea with a shake of his head.

“Mr. Howard’s a sweet man. I really like him,” Jill asserted.

“Sweet? Andrew Howard?” Jordan grinned, his eyes bright with humor. “I’ve known alligators with more agreeable personalities.”

“Apparently there’s more to your friend than you realized.”

“My friend,” Jordan repeated. “Funny, I’d always thought of him as my father’s friend, not mine. But you’re right—he
is
my friend and—Oh, here’s the car.” With a hand on her arm, he escorted her outside.

A tall, uniformed driver stepped from the long white limousine. “Ms. Morrison and Mr. Wilcox?” he asked crisply.

Jordan nodded, and the chauffeur ceremoniously opened the back door for them. Soon they were heading out of the city toward the island’s opposite coast.

“Do you still play the piano?” Jordan asked unexpectedly.

“Every so often, when the mood strikes me,” Jill told him a bit ruefully. “Not as much as I’d like.”

“I take it you still haven’t conquered the caesura?”

“Not yet, but I’m learning.” She wasn’t sure what had prompted his question, then decided to ask one of her own. “What about you? Do you think you might be interested in learning to play the piano?”

Jordan shook his head adamantly. “Unfortunately, I’ve never had much interest in that sort of thing.”

Jill sighed and looked away.

Nearly thirty minutes passed before they reached Andrew Howard’s oceanside estate. Jill suspected it was the longest Jordan had gone without a business conversation since he’d registered at the hotel.

Her heart pounded as they approached the beautifully landscaped grounds. A security guard pushed a button that opened a huge wrought-iron gate. They drove down a private road, nearly a mile long and bordered on each side by rolling green lawns and tropical flower beds. At the end stood a sprawling stone house.

No sooner had the car stopped than Mr. Howard hurried out of the house, grinning broadly.

“Welcome, welcome!” He greeted them expansively, holding out his arms to Jill.

In a spontaneous display of affection, she hugged him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you so much for inviting us.”

“The pleasure’s all mine. Come inside. Everything’s ready and waiting.” After exchanging a hearty handshake with Jordan, Mr. Howard led the way into his home.

Jill had been impressed with the outside, but the
beauty of the interior overwhelmed her. The entry was tiled in white marble and illuminated by a sparkling crystal chandelier. Huge crystal vases of vivid pink and purple hibiscus added color and life. From there, Mr. Howard escorted them into a massive living room with floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the Pacific. Frothing waves crashed against the shore, bathed in the fire of an island sunset.

“This is so lovely,” Jill breathed in awe.

“I knew you’d appreciate it.” Mr. Howard reached for a bell, which he rang once. Almost immediately the housekeeper appeared, carrying a tray of glasses and bottles of white and red wine, sherry and assorted aperitifs.

They were sipping their drinks when the same woman reappeared. “Mr. Wilcox, there’s a phone call for you.”

It was all Jill could do not to gnash her teeth. The man was never free, the phone cord wrapped around his neck more tightly than a hangman’s noose.

“Excuse me, please,” Jordan said as he left the room, his step brisk.

Jill looked away, refusing to watch him go.

“How do you feel about that young man?” Mr. Howard asked bluntly when Jordan was gone.

“We met only recently. I—I don’t have any feelings for him one way or the other.”

“Well, then, what do you think of him?”

Jill stared down at her wine. “He works too hard.”

Sighing, the old man nodded and rubbed his eyes. “He reminds me of myself more than thirty years ago.
Sometimes I’d like to take him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him, but I doubt it’d do much good. That boy’s too stubborn to listen. Unfortunately, he’s a lot like his father.”

Knowing so little of Jordan and his background, Jill was eager to learn what she could. At the same time, a saner part of her insisted she was better off not hearing this. The more she knew, the greater her chances of caring.

Nevertheless, Jill found herself asking curiously, “What made Jordan the way he is?”

“To begin with, his parents divorced when he was young. It was a sad situation.” Andrew leaned forward and clasped his wineglass with both hands. “It was plain as the nose on your face that James and Donna Wilcox were in love. But, somehow, bitterness replaced the love, and their son became a weapon they used against each other.”

“Oh, how sad.” Just as she’d feared, Jill felt herself sympathizing with Jordan.

“They both married other people, and Jordan seemed to remind his parents of their earlier unhappiness. He was sent to the best boarding schools, but there was precious little love in his life. Before he died, James tried to build a relationship with his son, but…” He shrugged. “And to the best of my knowledge his mother hasn’t seen him since he was a teenager. I’m afraid he’s had very little experience of real love, the kind that gives life meaning. Oh, there’ve been women, plenty of them, but never one who could teach him how to love
and bring joy into his life—until now.” He paused and looked pointedly at Jill.

“As I said before, I’ve only known Jordan for a short time.”

“Be patient with him,” Mr. Howard continued, as though Jill hadn’t spoken. “Jordan’s talented, don’t get me wrong—the boy’s got a way of pulling a deal together that amazes just about everyone—but there are times when he seems to forget about human values, like compassion. And the ability to enjoy what you have.”

Jill wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Frankly, I was beginning to lose faith in him,” Mr. Howard said, grinning sheepishly. “He can be hard and unforgiving. You’ve given me the first ray of hope.”

Jill took a big swallow of wine.

“He needs you. Your warmth, your gentleness, your love.”

Jill wanted to weep with frustration. Andrew Howard was telling her exactly what she didn’t want to hear. “I think you’re mistaken,” she murmured.

He chuckled. “I doubt that, but I’m an old man, so indulge me, will you?”

“Of course, but—”

“There’s a reason you’ve come into his life,” he said, gazing intently at her. “A very important reason.” Andrew closed his eyes. “I feel this more profoundly than I’ve felt anything in a long while. He needs you, Jill.”

“No…I’m sure he doesn’t.” Jill realized she was beginning to sound desperate, but she couldn’t help it.

The old man’s eyes opened slowly and he smiled. “And I’m just as sure he does.” He would have continued, but Jordan returned to the room then.

From the marinated-shrimp appetizer to the homemade mango-and-pineapple ice cream, dinner was one of the most delectable, elegant meals Jill had ever tasted. They lingered over coffee, followed by a glass of smooth brandy. By the end of the evening, Jill felt mellow and warm, a dangerous sensation. Jordan had been wonderful company—witty, charming, fun. He seemed more relaxed, too. Apparently the phone call had brought good news; it was the only thing to which she could attribute his cheerfulness.

“I can’t thank you enough,” she told Andrew when the limousine arrived to drive her and Jordan back to the hotel. “It was a lovely evening.”

The older man hugged Jill and whispered close to her ear, “Remember what I said.” Breaking away, he extended his hand, gripping Jordan’s elbow. “It was good of you to come.”

“I’ll be in touch soon,” Jordan promised.

“I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Let me know what happens with this shopping-mall project.”

“I will,” Jordan said.

The car was cool and inviting in the warm night. Before she realized it, Jill found her head resting on Jordan’s broad shoulder. “Oh, sorry,” she mumbled through a yawn.

“Are you sleepy?”

She smiled softly to herself, too tired to fight the power of attraction—and exhaustion. “Maybe a little. Wine makes me sleepy.”

Jordan pressed her head against his shoulder and held her there. His hand gently stroked her hair. “Do you mind telling me what went on between you and Howard while I was on the phone?”

Jill went stock-still. “Uh, nothing. What makes you ask?” She decided it was best to pretend she didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Then why was Howard wearing a silly grin every time he looked at me?” Jordan demanded.

“I—I don’t know. You’ll have to ask him.” She tried to straighten, but Jordan wouldn’t allow it. After a moment she gave up, too relaxed to put up much of a struggle.

“I swear there was a twinkle in his eye from the moment I returned after my phone call. It was like I’d been left out of a joke.”

“I’m sure you’re wrong.”

Jordan seemed to ponder that. “I doubt it,” he said.

“Hmm.” She felt sleepy, and leaning against Jordan was strangely comforting.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said this afternoon,” he told her a few minutes later. His mouth was against her ear, and although she might have been mistaken, she thought his lips lightly brushed her cheek.

“My sad but true tale,” she whispered on the end of another yawn.

“About your trouble with the musical rest.”

“Ah, yes, the rest.”

“I’m flying back to Seattle tomorrow,” Jordan said abruptly.

Jill nodded, feeling inexplicably sad, then surprised by the intensity of her reaction. With Jordan in Seattle, they wouldn’t be bumping into each other at every turn. Wouldn’t be arguing, bantering—or kissing. With Jordan in Seattle, she wouldn’t confuse him with the legacy behind Aunt Milly’s dress. “Well…I hope you have a good flight.”

“I have a meeting Tuesday morning. It would be impossible to cancel at this late date, but I was able to change my flight.”

“You changed your flight?” Jill prayed he wouldn’t hear the breathless catch in her voice.

“I don’t have to be at the airport until evening.”

“When?” It shouldn’t make any difference to her, yet she found herself wanting to know. Needing to know.

“Eight.”

Jill was much too dazed to calculate the time difference, but she knew it meant he’d arrive in Seattle in the early morning. He’d be exhausted. Not exactly the best way to show up at a high-powered meeting.

“I was thinking,” Jordan continued. “I’ve been to Hawaii a number of times but other than meetings or dinner engagements, I haven’t seen much of the islands. I’ve never explored them.”

“That’s a pity,” she said, meaning it.

“And,” he went on, “it seemed to me that sightseeing wouldn’t be nearly as much fun alone.”

“I enjoyed myself this morning.” Her effort to refute him was feeble at best.

His fingers were entwined in her hair. “Will you come with me, Jill?” he asked, his voice a husky whisper. “Share the day with me. Let’s discover Hawaii together.”

“I
can’t” was Jill’s immediate response. She’d already lowered her guard—enough to be snuggling in his arms. So much for her resolve not to get involved with Jordan Wilcox, she thought with dismay. So much for steering a wide course around the man.

“Why not?” Jordan asked with the directness she’d come to expect from him.

“I’ve…m-made plans,” she stammered. Even now, she could feel herself weakening. With his arm around her and her head nestled against his shoulder it was difficult to refuse him.

“Cancel them.”

How arrogant of him to assume she should abandon her plans because the almighty businessman was willing to grant her some of his valuable time.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” she answered coolly, her determination reinforced. She’d already paid for the
rental car as part of her vacation package, she rationalized, and she wasn’t about to let that money go to waste.

“Why not?” He sounded surprised.

Isn’t being with him what you really want?
The question stole into her mind, and Jill wanted to scream out her response. A resounding NO. Jordan Wilcox frightened her. It was all too easy to envision them together, strolling hand in hand along sun-drenched beaches. He’d kissed her that first time, that only time, on the beach, and the memory stubbornly refused to go away.

“Jill?”

At the softness in his voice, she involuntarily raised her eyes to his. Jill hadn’t expected to see tenderness in Jordan, but she did now, and it was nearly her undoing. Her feelings for him were changing, and she found herself more strongly attracted than ever. She remembered when she’d first seen him, the way she’d been convinced there was nothing gentle in him. He’d seemed so hard, so untouchable. Yet, right now, at this very moment, he’d made himself vulnerable to her.
For
her.

“You’re trembling,” he said, running his hands down her arms. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she denied quickly, breathlessly. “I’m…a little tired. It’s been a long day.”

“That’s what you said last night when I kissed you. Remember? You started mumbling some nonsense about a dress, then you went stiff as a board on me.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she insisted, breaking away from
him. She straightened and lowered her hand to her skirt, smoothing away imaginary creases.

“I don’t buy that, Jill. Something’s bothering you.”

She wished he hadn’t mentioned the dress, because it brought to mind, uninvited and unwanted, Aunt Milly’s wedding dress, which was hanging in her hotel-room closet.

“You’d be shaking, too, if you knew the things I did,” she exclaimed, instantly regretting the impulse.

“What are you afraid of?”

She stared out the window, then slowly her lower lip began to quiver with the effort to restrain her laughter. She was actually frightened of a silly dress! She wasn’t afraid to fall in love; she just didn’t want it to be with Jordan.

“For a woman who drags a wedding dress on vacation with her, you’re not doing very much to encourage romance.”

“I did not bring that dress with me!”

“It was in the room when you arrived? Someone left it behind?”

“Not exactly. Shelly did. She, uh, enjoys a good laugh. She mailed it to me.”

“It never occurred to me that you might be engaged,” he said slowly. “You’re not, are you?”

“No.” But according to her friend, she soon would be.

“Who’s Shelly?”

“My best friend,” Jill explained, “or at least she used to be.” Then, impulsively, her heart racing, she added, “Listen, Jordan, I think you have a lot of potential in
the husband category, but I can’t fall in love with you. I just can’t.”

A stunned silence followed her announcement.

He cocked his eyebrows. “Aren’t you taking a bit too much for granted here? I asked you to explore the island with me, not bear my children.”

She’d done it again, blurted out something totally illogical. Worse, she couldn’t make herself stop. Children were a subject near and dear to her heart.

“That’s another thing,” she wailed. “I bet you don’t even like children. No, I can’t go with you tomorrow. Please don’t ask me to…because it’s so hard to say no.” It must be the wine, Jill decided; she was saying far more than she should.

Jordan relaxed against the leather upholstery and crossed his long legs. “All right, if you’d rather not go, I’m certainly not going to force you.”

His easy acceptance astonished her. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, feeling almost disappointed that he wasn’t trying to persuade her.

Something was drastically, dangerously wrong with her. She was beginning to like Jordan, really like him. Yet she couldn’t allow this attraction to continue. She couldn’t allow herself to fall in love with a man so much like her father. Because she knew what that meant, what kind of life it led to, what kind of unhappiness it caused.

When the limousine stopped in front of the hotel, it was all Jill could do to wait for the chauffeur to climb
out of the driver’s seat, walk around the car and open the door for her.

She hurried inside the lobby, needing to breathe in the fresh air of reason. Wait for sanity to catch up with her heart.

She reached the elevators and pushed the button, holding her thumb in place, hoping that would hurry it along.

“Next time, keep your little anecdotes to yourself,” Jordan said sharply from behind her. Then he walked leisurely across the lobby.

Keep her little anecdotes to herself? The temptation to rush after him and demand an explanation was strong, but Jill made herself resist it.

Not until she was in the elevator did she understand. This entire discussion had arisen because she’d told him her story about the caesura and her lack of musical talent. And now he was turning her own disclosure against her! Righteous anger began to build in her heart.

But by the time Jill was in her room and ready for bed, she felt wretched. Jordan had asked her to spend a day with him, and she’d reacted as if he’d insulted her.

The way she’d gone on and on about his potential as a husband was bad enough, but then she’d dragged the subject of children into their conversation. That mortified her even more. The wine could be blamed for only so much.

She cringed, too, as she recalled what Andrew
Howard had said, the faith he’d placed in her. Jordan needed her, he’d said, apparently convinced that Jordan would never experience love if she didn’t teach him. She hated disappointing Andrew, and yet…and yet…

It didn’t surprise Jill that she slept poorly. By morning she wasn’t feeling any enthusiam at all about picking up her rental car or sightseeing on the north shore.

She reviewed the room-service menu, ordered coffee and toast, then stared at the phone for several minutes before conceding there was one thing she still had to do. Anxious to get it over with, Jill rang through to Jordan’s room.

“Hello,” he answered gruffly on the first ring. He was definitely a man who never ventured far from his phone.

“Hello,” she said with uncharacteristic meekness. “I’m…calling to apologize.”

“Are you sorry enough to change your mind and spend the day with me?”

Jill hesitated. “I’ve already paid for a rental car.”

“Great, then I won’t need to get one.”

Jill closed her eyes. She knew what she was going to say, had known it the night before. In the same heartbeat, she realized she’d regret it later. “Yes,” she whispered. “If you still want me to join you, I’ll meet you in the lobby in half an hour.”

“Twenty minutes.”

She groaned. “Fine, twenty minutes, then.”

Despite her misgivings, Jill’s spirits lifted immediately. “One day won’t hurt anything,” she said out loud.
What could possibly happen in so short a time? Certainly nothing earth-shattering. Nothing of consequence.

Who was she kidding? Not herself, Jill admitted.

She thought she understood why moths ventured close to the fire, enticed by the light and the warmth. Against her will, Jordan was drawing her dangerously close. She knew even as she came nearer that she was going to get burned. And yet she didn’t walk away.

He was waiting for her when she stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby. He stood there grinning, his look almost boyish. This was the first time she’d seen him without a business suit. Instead, he wore white slacks and a pale blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

“You ready?” he asked, taking her beach bag from her.

“One question.” Her heart was pounding because she had no right to ask.

“Sure.” His eyes held hers.

“Your cell phone—do you have it?”

Jordan nodded and pulled a tiny phone from his shirt pocket.

Jill stared at it for a moment, feeling the tension work its way down her back. Jordan’s cell phone reminded her of the pager her father had always carried. Always. All family outings, which were few and far between, had been subject to outside interference. Early in life, Jill had received a clear message: business was more important to her father than she was. In fact, almost everything had seemed more significant than spending time with the people who loved him.

Jordan must have read the look in her eyes because he said, “I’ll leave it in my room,” and then promptly strolled to the elevator. Stunned, Jill watched as he stepped inside. Bit by bit, her muscles began to relax.

While he was gone, Jill filled out the paperwork for the rental car. She was waiting outside by the economy model when Jordan appeared. He paused, staring at it with narrowed eyes as if he wasn’t sure the car would make it to the end of the street, let alone around the island.

“I’m on a limited budget,” Jill explained, hiding a smile. The car suited her petite frame perfectly, but for a man of Jordan’s stature it was like…like stuffing a rag doll inside a pickle jar, Jill thought, enjoying the whimsical comparison.

“You’re positive this thing runs?” he muttered under his breath as he climbed into the driver’s seat. His long legs were cramped below the steering wheel, his head practically touching the roof.

Jill nodded. She remembered reading that this particular model got exceptionally good gas mileage—but then it should, with an engine only a little bigger than a lawnmower’s.

To prove her right, the car roared to life with a flick of the key.

“Where are we going?” Jill asked once they’d merged with the flow of traffic on the busy thoroughfare by the hotel.

“The airport.”

“The airport?” she repeated, struggling to hide her
disappointment. “I thought your flight didn’t leave until eight.”

“Mine doesn’t, but ours takes off in half an hour.”

“Ours?” What about the sugarcane fields and watching the workers harvest pineapple? Surely he didn’t intend for them to miss that. “Where is this plane taking us?”

“Hawaii,” he announced casually. “The island of. Do you know how to scuba dive?”

“No.” Her voice was oddly breathless and high-pitched. She might have spent the past twenty-odd years in Seattle—practically surrounded by water—but she wasn’t all that comfortable
under
it.

“How about snorkeling?”

“Ah…” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “There are pineapple fields on the other side of this island. I assumed you’d want to see those.”

“Another visit, perhaps. I’d like to try my hand at marlin fishing, too, but we don’t have enough time today.”

“Snorkeling,” Jill said as though she’d never heard the word before. “Well…it might be fun.” In her guidebook Jill remembered reading about green beaches of crushed olivine crystals and black sands of soft lava. These were sights she couldn’t expect to find anywhere else. However, she wasn’t sure she wanted to view them through a rubber mask.

A small private plane was ready for them when they arrived at Honolulu Airport. The pilot, who apparently knew Jordan, greeted them cordially. After brief introductions and a few minutes’ chat, they were on their way.

Another car, considerably larger than the one Jill had rented, was waiting for them on the island of Hawaii. A large, white wicker picnic basket sat in the middle of the backseat.

“I hope you’re hungry.”

“Not yet.”

“You will be,” Jordan promised.

He drove for half an hour or so, until they reached a deserted inlet with a magnificent waterfall. He parked the car, then got out and opened the trunk. Inside was everything they’d need for snorkeling in the crystal-clear aquamarine waters.

Never having done this before, Jill was uncertain of the procedure. Jordan patiently answered her questions and waded into the water with her. He paused when they were waist-deep, gave her detailed instructions, then clasped her hand. His touch lent her confidence, and soon she was investigating an undersea world of breathtaking beauty. Swimming out of the inlet, they came upon a reef, with colorful fish slipping in and out of white coral caverns. After what seemed like only minutes, Jordan steered them back toward the inlet and shore.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful,” she breathed, pushing the mask from her face.

“I don’t think I have, either,” he agreed as they emerged from the water.

While Jill ran a comb through her hair and put on a shirt to protect her shoulders from the sun, Jordan brought out their lunch.

He spread the blanket in the shade of a palm tree. Jill knelt down beside him and opened the basket. Inside were generous crab-salad sandwiches, fresh slices of papaya and pineapple and thick chocolate-chip cookies. She removed two cold cans of soda and handed one to Jordan.

They ate, then napped with a cool, gentle breeze whisking over them.

Jill awoke before Jordan. He was asleep on his back with his hand thrown carelessly across his face, shading his eyes from the glare of the sun. His features were more relaxed than she’d ever seen them. Jill studied him for several minutes, her heart aching for the man she’d loved so long ago. Her father. The man she’d never really had a chance to know. In some ways, Jordan was so much like her father it pained her to be with him, and at the same time it thrilled her. Not only because in learning about Jordan she was discovering a part of her past, of herself, but because she’d rarely felt so
alive
in anyone’s company.