The Mammoth Book of Tasteless Jokes (195 page)

Did you know that Stevie Wonder has a tree house?

No, neither does he.

What’s black and loud?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron
.

What goes – Click-Click – “Is that it?” – Click-Click – “Is that it?” – Click-Click – “Is that it?”

Stevie Wonder with a Rubik’s Cube.

Stevie walks into a store with his blind dog. Suddenly, he jerks on the leash, pulls the dog into the air over his head and starts swinging it around his head.

The manager rushes over and says, “Stevie! Is there something wrong?”

“Nope,” replies Stevie. “I’m just having a good look around.”

What is the defnition of endless love?

Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.

What does Stevie Wonder’s wife do when they’ve had a fight?

She rearranges the furniture.

What is the fastest thing on land?

Stevie Wonder’s speedboat.

Stevie Wonder was in a terrible car accident the other week. His whole life flashed before his ears.

Stevie Wonder is having a meal with Tiger Woods when he challenges Tiger to a round of golf.

“You can’t be serious,” replies Tiger. “At the risk of sounding rude. you’re blind. How the hell are you even going to find your ball?”

“No problem,” replies Stevie. “I play regularly with a ball with a bell inside it. And I bet you $10 million that I can whup your ass!”

“Okay then,” agrees Tiger, “but on condition that we’ll do it for charity.”

“Done,” says Stevie.

“Okay,” says Tiger. “When do you want to do it?”

“Any night next week.”

What is Stevie Wonder’s favourite colour?

Corduroy.

Stevie Wonder is being interviewed by Jonathan Ross. “So, Stevie,” says Ross, “you’ve had a fantastic career, you’re a great singer, a great musician, a wonderful performer and a fabulous composer. How do you cope with being blind?”

Stevie replies, “It’s not a problem. I just thank God I’m not black.”