The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (49 page)

     There are many ways of being, there are many ways of loving. Some subdue the ones they need for their loving. There are many ways of subduing. There are many ways of owning other ones around one This is a history of some of them. This is a history of two of them.
     The Hersland family, then, had three governesses living with them. There was the first one, the good musician with a regular governess training, there was the second one without too much education, there was a third one and this is now a history of her.
     This is now a history of her with her family, with Mr. Hersland, with Mrs. Hersland, with every one she ever knew in her living from its beginning to its ending.
     This is now a beginning of the history of her, Mrs. Hersland talked a great deal to her. Madeleine always listened to her. This is now a history of their talking to each other. This is now a history of how they owned each other.
     It is very interesting that every one has in them their kind of stupid being. It is very important to know it in each one which part in them which kind of feeling in them is connected with stupid being in them. There is then stupid being in every one.
     There is then stupid being in every one, there is some subduing, some escaping in every one, there is some resisting and some attacking in every one. It is interesting to know it in each one what in them is stupid being for them, what kind of acting is stupid being in them, what kind of stupid acting is or is not stupid being in them. Sometime some one will know it of every one, what is and what is not stupid being in each one. This is now a history of two of them. This is now a history of more of them. This is now a history of Mrs. Hersland and Madeleine Wyman and the subduing power in each one of them and the escaping in each one of them and the resisting and attacking in each one of them and the stupid being in each one of them and the important being in each one of them. There is then now to be a history of the two of them, there is then now to be a history of the two of them and of all of the others near them, of the servants living in the house with them, of Mr. Hersland and later of the three Hersland children, of the Wyman family, the father and the mother and the two sisters and the brother of Madeleine Wyman. There is now then to be a history of all of these then, of Mrs. Hersland and Madeleine Wyman and of every one near them or connected with them. There was then as I was saying in Mrs. Hersland when Madeleine Wyman was living as governess with them, the time in her living when she had in her her completest feeling of being herself inside her in her feeling. This is now then a description of her being.
     As I was saying Mrs. Hersland was never to her feeling, cut off from rich right living. She was to her feeling cut off from her family and from eastern living and eastern travelling. She was to herself cut off from it to her feeling even when later she went to Bridgepoint to visit her early living. She was always to herself then cut off from her early being. Later Madeleine Wyman owned this early being. The three children later in their living had the feeling that Madeleine Wyman owned their mother's early Bridgepoint being, it gave to them a sore feeling. This is now a history of how the third governess Madeleine Wyman came to own Mrs. Hersland's early being and how Mrs. Hersland with Madeleine Wyman as governess in the house with them came to have in her her most important being of herself inside her and what feeling and being Mr. Hersland had in him.
     Mrs. Hersland was never important to her children excepting to begin them. She never had a feeling of herself to herself from them. She was of them until they were so big that she was lost among them, she was lost then between them and the father of them.
     Mrs. Hersland was never important to her children excepting to begin them. She was never, even to them, important to their being, they had later a sore feeling in them because Madeleine Wyman owned their mother and a little their father, entirely their mother later to them, they had a sore feeling in them, not because their mother was ever important to them, but she had made them, she so belonged to them, she was so part of the personal being of each one of them. Madeleine Wyman owning their mother, was to them, not an owning of them, but a cutting off a piece from each one of them. Their mother then was of them, they were not of her then excepting, as she was making them, Mrs. Hersland was never important to her children excepting to begin them.
     Later there will be more history of the little sore feeling the children had in them because of Madeleine Wyman, who was married then, and their mother was no longer living, of Madeleine Wyman owning the mother of them. Later then in the history of each one of them there will be a description of the sore feeling they each one had in them at Madeleine Wyman's owning the mother of them and a little the father of them. Not that Madeleine Wyman had any influence over any of them, over the mother or the father or any one of the children. It was nothing of such a thing that happened to them. It was that she owned the mother of them by living in her feeling their mother's early living, by being the reason of their mother having in her then when Madeleine Wyman was with them the being herself to herself more inside her in her being than at any other time in all her living. So Madeleine Wyman owned Mrs. Hersland, to her children. She a little owned Mr. Hersland for them but that was mostly in so much as he belonged to the mother of them. Madeleine Wyman to them, to the children, never owned them, it was only the parents of them that she held in her possession. It was not a sore feeling ever in any one of the three of them that owning their mother and a little their father that she ever the least bit owned any one of the three of them. It was that in owning their mother's early living, in her feeling, owning their mother's moment of being most herself to herself in her feeling, owning their father's early living and their mother's feeling for their father then in her important being and their father's feeling for their mother then, it was by such owning that they felt something cut off from them. A part that should have been them Madeleine Wyman held in possession. It was not of them then, it was cut off from them. It should have been then as a piece of the whole of each one of the three of them. Madeleine Wyman held it in possession. In their very later living they each one had it again in them. They came again to own their mother and their father in them. In their early living they had about Madeleine Wyman a very sore feeling. They hated to hear her talking. Their mother and a little their father were really more important to Madeleine Wyman than they were to any of the three of them except as to having made them, to them, in their early living. They could not deny this to Madeleine Wyman. She had by her feeling of the importance of their mother in the world of beings, she had then by this a right to her owning, to her possession, they could not deny this any one of the three of them, it was not the importance of their mother as a being that counted for any of the three of them, it was that she was part of them, having made them. They were not any, any one of the three of them ever very much of her in their feeling. She was of them to their feeling. Not a lively feeling in them, it was important to them only when this possession was cut off from them by Madeleine Wyman's owning of her and her early living and her important being. She was then, Mrs. Hersland, important to her children, only to being them. She belonged to them then not by her important being in her feeling; Madeleine Wyman then had a right to her possession. The children all three of them by her possession of the mother of them and a little of the father of them had cut off from them in their later younger living a part of them and they had then a right to their sore feeling at her possession of their mother and a little of the father of them. There will be now more history of Madeleine Wyman in this possession.
     There is stupid being in every one. There is stupid being in every one in their living. Stupid being in one is often not stupid thinking or stupid acting. It very often is hard to know it in knowing any one. Sometimes one has to know of some one the whole history of them, the whole history of their living to know the stupid being of them. Every one then, mostly every one, has in them stupid being. It is hard to know stupid being in such a one as Mrs. Hersland or even in such a one as Madeleine Wyman. Stupid being in Mrs. Hersland was in her when she was acting. It was not in her when she was resisting but then she had very little resisting in her being. She had very little real fighting in her being, real fighting in her would be as resisting. She had very little of this in her in her living. She had a little of it in her with her husband in the beginning and always a little all through her living. She had a little of it in her with her children when they were first beginning, and then she was of them but soon they were not of her then and she had no winning fighting being for them or with them. Sometimes about a servant she had attacking being, later about Madeleine Wyman and that was in her stupid being. Madeleine Wyman had in her stupid being in wanting to be subduing. Not with Mr. or Mrs. Hersland, there she was yielding to be subduing and that was not in her stupid being, yielding was never in her stupid being, attacking was in her stupid being. With Mrs. Hersland and with Mr. Hersland too she had in her yielding and so she came to own them. She yielded herself to them and so she came to live in them and in their early living and then she came to own them. This was not in her stupid being. Stupid being with her was in her failing, in her attacking, in her sometimes when resisting. Mostly in her as attacking for subduing and this was in her stupid being. This was true of her with the Hersland children, this was true of her in her later living. This will sometime be clear in her as there comes to be completely a history of her, a history of all the living in her from her beginning to her ending.
     There is then stupid being in every one. In many, one has to have a whole history of all their living from their beginning to their ending to know it in them. Mrs. Hersland was such a one.
     Mrs. Hersland as I was saying was never important for her children excepting to begin them. She never had a feeling of herself to herself from them. She was of them until they were so big that she was lost among them, she was lost then between them and the father of them.
     So then to begin again with the Hersland family's living with the third governess Madeleine Wyman with them and with a history of her and every one who came to know her and of the Hersland family with her. To begin again then with Mr. Hersland and his ideas about education.
     To begin again with Mr. Hersland and his choosing of the governess for the education of his children. To begin again with Mr. Hersland and his theories of education.
     As I said the first governess was a real governess and knew french and German and was a good musician. She was theoretically satisfying to him in the beginning but personally after she began living in the house with them she made no impression on him. Then his theories changed in him and he wanted a woman who was strong and used to farming and he got one and she was pleasanter for him for she had a physical meaning for him and then she married the baker and they all sometimes saw her after but that was the end of her governessing and for some time then they had no one. Then they heard of Madeleine Wyman who was everything. They needed a governess then so the father thought because the children had forgotten all their french and German and the daughter Martha that year had missed annual promotion. Besides in their half country living they needed some one to keep the family living apart from the living around them. Anyway in Madeleine Wyman they had everything, she knew french and German, she was an American, she had had good American schooling, she was a fair musician, she was intelligent and could talk as well as listen to Mr. Hersland about education, she wanted to listen always to Mrs. Hersland's Bridgepoint living, she felt always the gentle fine being in Mrs. Hersland's country house living, she was good looking, she liked walking and wanted to learn swimming. She had everything, every one was content then, her parents were glad to have her in such a good situation, every one was suited then and then there was a beginning. Madeleine Wyman was the third governess the Herslands had living with them.
     Madeleine Wyman's father and mother were both living. There were in all, four children. Madeleine was the oldest of them, then Louise, then Frank, and then Helen. The Hersland children later knew all of them. Later there will be a history of them in the history of the three children. There will then also be a history of Mr. and Mrs. Wyman and the later living of Madeleine. Now there is a history of her, when she was a governess, and the feeling about her all through her living with them in Mr. and Mrs. Hersland. First then to begin again with Mr. Hersland and his feelings about education.
     Some men then and some women have cowardly but not fearful being in them. This is true then of many of them who have cowardly being in them and are of independent dependent kind of men and women. The dependent independent way of having cowardly being in them, many of them, is to have always fearful being in them. These are given to supposing, they always see death and danger around them in their living. Mr. Hersland was not of them, he had independent dependent being, attacking was his natural way of fighting, resisting was weakness in him, he had not any fearful being in him, he could be a coward in his living, he could brush people away from around him, when he could not keep them brushed down from in front of him he went another way and he never knew in him that he was a coward then in living, he had no fearful being in him. Later his children told it to him when they were angry with him and the impatient feeling that then filled him. Mr. Hersland always had it in him to be strong in beginning, he always had it in him to feel himself inside him to be as big as all the world around him, later he was full up with impatient being. Always he had beginning in him, always he had theories of education, always he talked to every one around him, always he was advising every one, always he was talking about education, about eating, about drinking, about washing, about healthy living, about doctoring, about what men and women needed to make them successful in living. Always he was talking about eating and education and marrying, and drinking, and sleeping, and doctoring. Now there will be more description of the talking in him.