The Magic of Christmas (20 page)

‘You look as though you're all having fun.'

‘It's amazing,'Aggie breathed, and the waitress studied her and then Chloe.

‘It's nice to see a family out together. You girls look exactly like your mother.' She smiled at Lara. ‘Taking a break from the Christmas shopping and the turkey?'

Christian froze and Aggie frowned.

‘She isn't our mother.'

‘Oh.' The waitress looked embarrassed. ‘I'm sorry. I just assumed—You look so alike—Call me if there's anything else you need.' Her face
scarlet, she hurried back towards the bar area, obviously eager to escape from her gaffe.

Aggie was silent for a moment and then stared at her sister. ‘Why would she think that Lara is our mummy?'

Chloe didn't answer. Instead, she sat in silence, a slight frown on her face.

Then she glanced at Christian, a question in her eyes.

He managed what he hoped was a reassuring smile. ‘Everything's fine, sweetheart. You have nothing to worry about.'

But Chloe carried on staring and for an uncomfortable moment he had the feeling that she could see right into his soul.

She was obviously worried that her life was going to be disrupted again and Lara clearly picked up the same signals because she put down her mug of chocolate and laughed.

‘It's because we're all blonde and wrapped up in scarves! She can't see us properly. Anyone with two eyes in their head can see we don't look the same. I have freckles, for a start, and my nose turns up at the end. You two are much more beautiful.
Anyway, forget that. Come on, guys.' Lara lifted Aggie onto the floor and jumped to her feet, her eyes sparkling. ‘I'm going to teach you both to skate backwards. It's dead easy once you get the hang of it and it looks
so
cool.'

With no apparent effort she'd defused the tension around the table and bent down to help the girls put on their skates.

Christian studied her face, searching for clues as to whether she was upset, but it was impossible to tell because she was concentrating on his children and didn't once glance in his direction.

In no time at all they were back on the ice and she took it in turns to teach the children to skate backwards.

The children giggled and shrieked and were obviously having an amazing time and Christian watched, wondering whether their happiness was going to be at the expense of his own.

* * *

It snowed again overnight and Christmas Eve was busy in the emergency department.

‘People should be at home, decorating their
trees,' Jane muttered as she directed yet another patient towards X-Ray.

Lara nodded. ‘Can I ask you a favour?'

‘Ask.'

‘Can I run the treatment room today? I need a break from Resus.'

There was a long silence. ‘You're finding it that hard to work with him?'

‘Actually, yes.' Lara didn't bother with excuses or denials. ‘Pathetic, no?'

‘Not pathetic.' Jane let out a long breath. ‘I'll put Helen in Resus. But you know he'll probably ask for you. He always does.'

‘There are plenty of good nurses in this department. And I'm only here for another few weeks.'

‘Yes.'

At that moment Fran came dashing up to them, her hand over her mouth. ‘Oh, my—you'll never guess what!'

Jane and Lara glanced at each other and then back at the receptionist. ‘What?'

‘I'm pregnant!'

Lara swallowed and Jane started to laugh. ‘You are joking.'

‘No.' Fran shook her head, tears in her eyes. ‘I'm pregnant.
I'm pregnant.
That psychic woman said I'd be pregnant by Christmas and
she was right
. Can you believe it? At the time I thought she was delusional, but she obviously knew what she was talking about.'

Without giving either of them the time to respond, Fran danced off down the corridor in search of someone else to tell.

Jane cleared her throat. ‘She's obviously pleased, then, is she?'

Lara was staring at Fran's retreating form with an expression of disbelief on her face. ‘Tell me she doesn't think she's pregnant because of the psychic. I mean—she does know the facts about human reproduction, I assume?'

‘Well, you've got to agree that it's a spooky coincidence. I mean, first Jack has a little boy, even though the scan said it was a girl. And then Fran gets pregnant.' Jane was smiling. ‘All that's left is that for you to—' She broke off and Lara gave her a withering look.

‘Oh, please! Give me a break! On second thoughts,
you
take a break. If you're starting to
believe what a psychic tells you then you obviously need one. I'm going to bury myself in the treatment room and I'm staying there until it's time to go home.'

But talking to Jane about leaving got her thinking and during her lunch-break she followed up some calls she'd made earlier in the week to nanny agencies. If she was going to Australia, she needed to find Christian some help.

By the end of her shift she was tired and, when she saw Christian standing in the doorway, her heart sank.

Not now.

‘Everything all right?' She threw the remains of the dressing pack into the bin and washed her hands.

‘Have you been avoiding me?'

‘Of course not,' she lied, ‘far from it. In fact, I wanted to talk to you.'

He walked into the room and let the door swing shut behind him. ‘I'm listening.'

She forced herself to continue tidying. It was the only way to be absolutely sure that she wouldn't embarrass herself by throwing herself at him. ‘I've been asking round the hospital. One
of the staff nurses on Paeds had an excellent nanny-housekeeper who's leaving in January. She'd be perfect for you. I could help you interview her, if you like, before I go.'

He frowned. ‘Lara—'

‘Obviously I have
loads
of things to do before I go to Australia. If we could persuade her to start immediately in January, I'd have time to clear out my flat and pack. If she could move in more or less straight away, that would be perfect.'

‘Lara!'

‘Don't!' She lifted a hand to stop him speaking, but didn't turn to look at him.
She didn't dare.
‘Don't say a word, Christian. It was special, we both know that. But it was also impossible. I finally understood that the other night, when I had Chloe sobbing in my arms. You've done such a good job as a father and because of you, the girls have weathered the trauma of your marriage break-up remarkably well. But I can see now that you're right. They don't need to worry that they're fighting with someone for your affections.'

She stood for a moment, desperately hoping that he wouldn't argue with her.

Desperately hoping that he would.

But he said nothing at all and, when she heard the door crash, she glanced round and discovered that he'd gone.

* * *

‘I've labelled my stocking because I absolutely don't want to get Chloe's toys.' Aggie carefully placed her stocking by the fireplace. ‘Do you think this is the right place?'

‘It looks good to me.' Christian glanced around him. The lights on the tree twinkled and the scent of cinnamon and cloves filled the sitting room. Twists of holly adorned the fireplace and candles flickered, creating a warm, cosy atmosphere. The huge comfy sofas were covered in toys and books that the children had been reading.

The boxes were gone and the whole house felt lived in.

Thanks to Lara
.

Aggie was looking at him. ‘Can we leave a carrot for Rudolph?'

‘Carrot? I didn't think to buy any.' Christian wondered what else he'd missed. How was he supposed to know all these things?

‘Lara bought some. I saw a bag in the fridge.' Aggie dashed off to the kitchen and returned with a carrot which she placed carefully in front of the fire. ‘For Rudolph. And one of Lara's amazing mince pies for Father Christmas.'

‘Where is Lara?' Chloe was sewing her name on her stocking. ‘I haven't seen her since supper.'

‘I expect she had things to do in her room.'

‘Have you bought Lara a present?'Aggie stared at him, wide-eyed. ‘Did you forget?'

Christian felt a flicker of guilt. ‘Actually, I
did
forget.'

Lara had helped with all his Christmas shopping and he doubted that she'd remembered to include anything for herself.

‘You forgot?' Aggie looked appalled. ‘How could you forget?'

Because the last thing on his mind had been Christmas presents. All he could think about was being with Lara. And
not
being with her. It didn't matter what he happened to be doing at the time, he couldn't get her out of his mind.

‘It isn't too late. The shops don't shut for another two hours.' Aggie scrambled to her feet,
bouncy and excited. ‘We can dash out now and buy something special.'

But he probably should have bought her something. She'd transformed his home, hadn't she? She'd helped Chloe. It was because of her that he, Chloe and Aggie felt like a family.

‘She's going abroad, Aggie. She doesn't need anything.'

Silence followed his words.

‘Can't she stay?' Aggie drooped. ‘It would be really great if she could stay as our nanny. She never yells at us to tidy up and last week I found my homework under a pile of
her
clothes. She's
so
cool.'

‘She can't be your nanny, Aggie.' Christian kept his tone matter-of-fact. ‘But she and I have found a new nanny who is going to start in January. I think you'll like her.'

‘I don't want a new nanny. I love Lara.'Aggie's lip wobbled and her voice was plaintive. ‘Don't you love Lara, Daddy?'

He froze and for a moment found himself totally unable to deliver the answer he knew that he had to deliver. And then his attention was
caught by the stricken, panicked look on Chloe's face.

Her sudden insecurity was obvious in her eyes.

‘Love?' Driven by concern for his daughter, he found the words he'd been searching for. ‘Of course not. Lara is great. She's a fun, lovely person.'

Chloe was still staring at him. ‘Dad?' Her voice was hoarse. ‘You know you said that we should always be honest and say if something is worrying us?'

Christian tensed. It was obvious what was worrying her.

‘You don't have anything to worry about, sweetheart. Your new nanny will be fine. Lara will soon be gone.' Just saying the words made his insides feel hollow, and Chloe shook her head.

‘You don't know what I want to say.'

Oh, yes, he did.

She intended to spell it out. She was going to beg him not to marry again and he was going to assure her that he wouldn't.

‘All right, Chloe.' His voice was gentle as he
ruthlessly buried his own emotions. ‘Say what's worrying you, angel, and we'll deal with it, I promise.'

* * *

‘Wake up, wake up,
he's been
!'

Lara opened her eyes to find Aggie bouncing on the bed, her blonde curls swinging around her smiling face.

‘Who's been?'

‘Now you're being silly.' Aggie gurgled with laughter and tugged at the duvet. ‘You
know
who's been. Come on. Get up.You need to come and see.'

Lara dutifully sat up and rubbed her eyes. Had she slept at all? It felt as though she'd spent the whole night staring at the ceiling, thinking about Christian, but at some point she must have fallen asleep.

Her head throbbed and her heart ached.

Spending Christmas with them was going to make it so much harder to leave when the time came.

‘Don't be sad,' Aggie said, dragging her by the hand. ‘I wrote to Father Christmas and told him that you were a good person and he's left you loads of presents. And there's something really
special, but I'm not allowed to tell you what it is because Chloe says she'll strangle me if I do.'

‘Oh? He's left me presents?' Lara yawned, careful not to reveal that she knew exactly what was waiting for them under the tree. She and Christian had spent an hour wrapping presents two nights previously.

Neither of them had spoken a word.

At one point their fingers had brushed and the chemistry had ignited between them but Lara had quickly retreated to her present-wrapping, knowing that they didn't dare risk touching each other while the girls were in the house.

And, anyway, she didn't think she was emotionally robust enough to make love with him again and then walk away.

Aggie peeped up at her. ‘It's supposed to be a surprise but I could whisper about your present if you like and you can pretend you don't know.'

Driven by an impulse that she couldn't control, Lara knelt down and hugged her. ‘If it's supposed to be a surprise then you'd better not tell me,' she said huskily. ‘Hold onto your secret a bit longer.'

‘You're squeezing me
really
tight!' Aggie
wriggled in her grasp and Lara blinked rapidly and released her.

‘Sorry!'

Aggie dragged her into the sitting room and Christian was already there, sprawled on the sofa in an ancient pair of jeans and a soft cotton T-shirt that draped itself lovingly over his broad shoulders. The dark stubble on his jaw suggested that he'd also been dragged unceremoniously out of bed. Chloe was next to him, laughing and giggling.

Like a different child,
Lara thought as she smiled at them both and knelt down on the floor.

Christian seemed happy and relaxed. More relaxed than she could ever recall seeing him.

And she was pleased for him.

Today he was a father, enjoying Christmas with his girls.

He glanced up at her and for a long moment they just stared at each other, and then something flickered in his blue eyes. ‘Good morning, Lara. Merry Christmas.'

‘Merry Christmas.' Suddenly she wished Aggie had given her time to have a shower and wash her hair.