Authors: Jessica Calla
Jenna
After dinner, the six friends, including Dom who’d arrived from New York in time to watch them dance their last dance, lingered in the restaurant, drinking and celebrating. Scott and Jenna had taken third place overall, in addition to their first place finish for their tango. Champagne flowed, voices carried, and soon they became the rowdy table.
When Scott and Dom left for the poker tables, Jenna switched seats with Dylan so he could talk to Alex without shouting over her. She settled next to Clare, and they turned away from the men.
Jenna knew there was no way Alex would have hooked up with Clare the night before. First of all, she was nowhere near as trashy as Alex seemed to like them. The women he took home screamed one-night stand. Clare screamed marriage and a white picket fence. Still, her natural look and her inquisitive eyes made her attractive in an understated way.
Jenna asked her how she liked Vegas.
“I love it. Last night, Alex and I walked up and down the Strip. Gosh, there are so many people. The hotels are beautiful. I could spend days going in and out. Alex is hilarious too. He had me laughing all night.”
“Yeah, he’s a riot. Dylan wasn’t happy to see you two together this morning,” Jenna said, fishing.
“He yelled at me. Called me slutty,” Clare said before sipping her drink.
“He did not!” She rubbed her earlobe between her thumb and forefinger. “What is he? Your father?”
“I accused him of acting like an annoying big brother.”
The women jumped at the sound of a crash. Dylan and Alex’s pitcher lay shattered on the table, beer trickling off the tabletop. The men didn’t even flinch. They laughed and threw napkins over the mess.
Jenna stood up and moved away from the spilled beer streaming toward her. She bounced around on her toes, restless while they guys attempted to clean up. She looked to Clare. “You want to get out of here? Just us girls?”
Clare blushed and darted her eyes toward Dylan. “I can’t steal you away from Dylan on your last night together.”
“Trust me,” Jenna said, “he’s going to be too drunk for me to deal with tonight, and hungover tomorrow. I really need to get some fresh air. What do you say?”
“I am a little sick of boys,” Clare said, grinning.
Jenna smiled. “Let’s go.”
***
Three minutes after they left the restaurant, Jenna’s phone rang. Two seconds later, Clare’s did.
“I got Alex,” Jenna said.
Clare showed Jenna her phone with Dylan’s name and picture flashing.
“Good luck,” Jenna told her. Then she touched her phone.
“Where the hell are you two?” Alex asked.
“We left. We’re having girl time. We’ll catch up to you later. Kiss Dylan for me.”
“On the lips?” Alex teased. “Come back. We miss you.”
“See you later,” Jenna said before hanging up.
She listened in on Clare’s side of her conversation with Dylan. “Geez, Dylan, we are fine. We’re just going out for a few drinks.” Clare rolled her eyes at Jenna. “We don’t need bodyguards. I’m hanging up. Tell her yourself. She’s right here.” Clare held out the phone to Jenna. “He wants to talk to you.”
She took the phone. “Dylan?”
“Hey, beautiful. Does this mean you won’t be spending the night with me?”
“I’ll see you later. I needed to get out a little.”
“Are you feeling sick? Alex said you haven’t been eating—”
“I’m okay. I want to hang out with Clare.” Jenna winked at Clare and then borrowed her line, “We’re sick of boys. Bye.” She hung up.
“Funny, when we’re sitting right next to them, they couldn’t care less. Now that we’ve escaped, they are all over us,” Clare said.
Jenna nodded. “How’d Alex even make it here without the team cutting him?”
“He faked a stomach virus,” Clare said. “Puke and all.”
“Did he really? He’s insane.”
“I like him,” Clare said. “A lot. He’s fun.”
They walked a few more blocks and stopped at the fountains of the Bellagio. Jenna had never seen the display and watched with wide eyes.
She didn’t know what she would do if what she suspected was true. She watched the water fly into the sky and asked the universe for strength.
As if Clare could read her thoughts, she asked, “What’s on your mind, Jenna?”
Jenna twisted her hair up away from her face.
May as well go for it.
She took a deep breath. “Are you in love with Dylan?”
Clare smiled, and flashes of green sparked from her catlike eyes. “Is that a trick question? Yes, I love him. He’s my friend.”
“That’s fair,” Jenna said.
“Do you love Alex?”
Jenna froze.
“Hey, you asked me. Fair is fair.”
“Is that a trick question?” Jenna retorted, borrowing Clare’s line again.
Clare shrugged without answering. She scrolled through the images on her camera, and when she found the one she wanted, she handed the camera to Jenna.
Jenna held up the camera and focused on the little screen. Alex appeared on the display. Not the goofy, boyish, irritating Alex she knew. The Alex that Clare had captured looked peaceful, content, and serious. His chin was tilted just a bit, and his smile looked intense—not the big, toothy grin she was used to seeing.
His eyes were focused, as though he was studying something. Jenna had never seen him look at anything like that before. Even when he listened to her or told her a story, he’d try to make eye contact but would always break it, looking around, animated and always moving. Seeing Alex like that, frozen in front of her, so focused, reminded her of the night he kissed her, when she got a glimpse of the peacefulness and stillness buried deep within him that he hid from the world.
Clare spoke softly. “That’s Alex watching you dance today.”
Jenna inhaled sharply.
“I’ve never seen anyone look at someone like that,” Clare said, peeking over Jenna’s shoulder at the camera screen.
Tears pooled in Jenna’s eyes. The Alex in the camera had looked at her with pure love. There was no denying it. Seeing it made her feel happy and sad all at once. Jenna couldn’t separate her heart from Alex. He was a part of her in a way she didn’t think any other man could ever be.
“Are you going to break Dylan’s heart, Jenna?” Clare asked.
Without answering the question, Jenna handed her the camera and started down the Strip. Clare caught up as Jenna wiped a tear away.
“I didn’t mean to make you sad,” Clare said. “I thought you should see the picture. And I care about Dylan. I know how happy he is with you and that he’s been hurt before. He really wants this to work out.”
Jenna knew she should tell someone her concerns. Someone who knew Dylan. Someone who wasn’t Alex. Someone who could help her figure it out. Clare seemed like a good option, so she squeezed her eyes shut and blurted it out. “I think I may be pregnant.”
When the silence lasted more than a few seconds, Jenna opened her eyes to see Clare staring at her blankly. “Are you okay?” Jenna asked.
“Did you say—?”
“Pregnant. Yes.”
Clare raised her eyebrows. “Dylan?”
Jenna sighed and spun, then started up the Strip, Clare on her heels.
“I’m sorry,” Clare said behind her. “I didn’t mean…I just wanted to make sure I understood. It’s only been a month or so. Are you sure?”
Jenna stopped walking and glared down at her. “I’m not sure. But if I am, I’m sure it’s Dylan’s. I don’t sleep around.”
“I didn’t think you did. But before Dylan—”
“There was no ‘before Dylan.’”
“Didn’t you guys use protection?”
Jenna sighed, feeling the tears well in her eyes. “Of course we did. I don’t know what happened. I never got my period. I thought maybe because of rehearsals, and I checked the calendar, and now I’m tired as shit, I don’t want to eat…”
“Did you take a pregnancy test?”
Jenna shook her head. “Not yet. I just figured this out a few hours ago.”
“Does Dylan know?” Clare’s voice shook when she asked.
“No. If I am…pregnant…I’m not sure I’m going to have it,” Jenna said in just as shaky a voice.
Clare’s big eyes seemed to double in size. “What? No, Jen, Dylan would be a great father. You…you…you have to talk to him before you decide…”
Then, of all things, Clare started crying. She dabbed at her eyes and said, “I’m sorry.”
Jenna plopped down on the curb and let the tears fall too. “I don’t know what to do, Clare. I can’t have a baby. I don’t even have a driver’s license.”
“Shit, Jenna,” Clare said and sat down beside her. “You’re going to have to tell Dylan.”
Jenna hid her face in her knees. She wasn’t sure she wanted anyone to know.
Where is this going?
Dylan had asked.
Clare put an arm around her shoulders. “It’s going to be okay,” she said. “Dylan’s a good man. He won’t let you do this alone. Family means everything to him.”
Jenna nodded as her phone buzzed. She showed Clare the two texts with Dylan’s name illuminated over them. The first one read:
Where my bitches at?
The second one read:
That was Alex.
Clare and Jenna chuckled through tears. “They can’t survive without us, huh?” Jenna said.
“They’ll have to,” Clare answered. “Because right now, we’re going to get you a pregnancy test and deal with whatever it brings. Okay?”
Jenna nodded. She stood, rolled her shoulders back, and lifted her chin. After one more swipe of her thumbs under her eyes to wipe away the tears, she said, “Yes. Let’s go.”
Dylan
On Sunday morning, Alex and Dylan met in the hotel lobby to share a cab to the airport. Alex had booked the earliest flight to New York to join the team upstate for their last game of the away series, and Dylan needed to get back to LA for a meeting with the studio.
“I can’t remember if I said good-bye to Clare last night when the girls got back,” Alex said, rubbing his temples as they stepped into the hot desert air. “Actually, I can’t remember much of anything.”
The sun hit them like a brick wall. Both men hid behind dark glasses, nursing their headaches as they waited for hotel staff to hail them a taxi.
“I remember one thing that happened,” Dylan said. “Jenna and I broke up.”
“What?” Alex said. “Why? What happened? She didn’t call me.”
Dylan shook his head. “I don’t know what happened. I was drunk and confused. She came back to the room last night and said she didn’t want to see me anymore. That this would be the last time I saw her. I told her that wasn’t true. She said she needed to be on her own for a while and figure things out.”
“Figure what out?” Alex pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped a text.
Dylan shrugged. “I don’t know. I hoped it could work, even with the distance and our careers. I thought maybe she’d be willing to try harder or put up a fight for us. But I guess she wasn’t into me. I mean, I have a history of women thinking they want me and then not really being into me…”
“She was into you, I know that for a fact. The distance was a concern, but it’s not like she was looking to get married. Did you do anything to piss her off?” Alex asked as the cab pulled up.
Dylan directed the driver to the airport as he and Alex slid into the taxi. “I don’t think so. I thought we were having fun together.”
“What about Clare? Maybe she knows something?” Alex asked.
“She’s taking a later flight. I’ll try and catch up with her tonight in Cali and ask if Jenna said anything while they were out last night.” He tapped a text to Clare.
Me: Have a safe flight. Can we talk when you get back?
Alex shook his head. “Maybe Jenna got jealous? You and Clare are close.”
Dylan huffed and shifted in his seat. “Jenna knows Clare and I are just friends.”
Alex tilted his head and grimaced. “Yeah, that’s what Clare said too. I hope someday you’ll man up and tell me the truth.”
Dylan pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head and studied Alex. He trusted Alex with his life, always had for as long as he could remember. “Okay,” he said, “well, the truth is…Clare and I…we…kissed. Twice.”
Alex clenched his jaw. “Then I’m glad Jenna dumped you. She deserves someone who isn’t in love with someone else. Jesus, Dylan,” he said, shaking his head.
Dylan rubbed his face. “I’m not in love with Clare. We kissed, that’s all. She’s engaged. The two times we crossed the line, there were extenuating circumstances.”
Alex huffed, obviously not thrilled with his confession. “Right,” he said flatly.
“She has nothing to do with Jenna breaking up with me last night.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Even if Clare didn’t say anything to Jenna, any idiot can see you have a connection. You finish each other’s sentences, for Christ’s sake. Jenna probably picked up on that. Who wouldn’t?”
“I—”
“Stop,” Alex said. “You may not realize it, but you’re in love with Clare. She’s the one you want, not Jenna. I told you in Long Island and I’ll tell you again. Don’t fuck with Jenna. Please.”
“I’m not fucking with Jenna. Can you say the same?” Dylan asked.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alex resumed his jaw-clenching.
“You and Jenna are close, like me and Clare. Should everyone assume you’re in love with her?”
Alex flailed his arms and yelled, “Of course I’m in love with her, asshole. She’s a goddamn angel. I’m too fucked up to do anything about it.”
He’s in love with her?
Dylan didn’t want to leave things this way with Alex, but Alex had lied to him about his feelings for Jenna. “You know,” Dylan said, “maybe Jenna dumped me because of you.” He pointed at Alex’s chest. “You should have told me how you felt, and I would have never—”
“You didn’t give me a chance! You jumped right into bed with her.”
“Fuck you,” Dylan said. His brain hurt from his hangover and from the conversation.
“Fuck you too.”
They didn’t speak for the rest of the trip to the airport. The cab left the men at the curb, and they stood face to face, glaring at each other. Dylan took a deep breath and loosened his stance. He ran his hand through his hair, knocking his sunglasses to the ground. Alex bent to pick them up and handed them to him.
“I’m sorry,” Alex said. “I should have been more direct with you. I was freaked out when the two of you got together but didn’t have a reason to keep you apart.”
Dylan put his hand on Alex’s shoulder. “It’s okay, man. I’m sorry too. I should have been more sensitive. You said you were only friends—”
“We were. We are, and I never thought we’d take it further, you know? She’d leave me, and I couldn’t handle losing her.”
Dylan shook his head. He remembered when Alex’s mother left him without so much as a good-bye. Dylan did what he could for Alex, but he could never erase Alex’s pain. He wouldn’t even know how to try. “You have to let go, Al. What your mother did was wrong, but you can’t let it keep you closed off from relationships.”
Alex pulled away. “And you have to let go of what Maggie did too. What’s going on with Clare and the boyfriend in Nebraska isn’t the same as what Maggie did to you. Maggie was a serial cheater who didn’t give a shit about your feelings. Clare cares about you. This engagement thing she has going on with the farmer boy? It’s sketchy.”
“I’m trying to straighten it out with her, but she’s blowing me off. Something about me…I don’t know. It never seems to work out. Why does it have to be so gosh-darned difficult?”
At Dylan’s question, Alex stuttered a laugh and broke into a smile. “It
is
gosh-darned difficult, right?”
Dylan caught his grin and smiled back. “It’s a habit. Clare—”
“I understand,” Alex said. “She’s cute, your Clare. Maybe it’s not as gosh-darned difficult as we think.”
Dylan shook his head. “Are you going to tell Jenna how you feel?”
“Are you going to tell Clare how you feel?” Alex replied.
Neither answered the question. Instead, they embraced. Alex grabbed Dylan’s face and kissed him right on the cheek. “I love you, brother,” he said.
Dylan stood back and grabbed his suitcase. “I love you too, Pops.”
Then they turned their backs to each other and walked to their respective terminals.
***
Clare
As Clare walked into her apartment after her flight home from Vegas, Angelica ran to her feet, meowing furiously. She flipped on the light and almost went into cardiac arrest at the sight of Dylan sleeping on her couch.
She yelled and Dylan jumped. Angelica ran for the bedroom.
“Dylan! What are you doing here?”
He rubbed his eyes and sat up. “I’m waiting for you.”
Clare dragged her suitcase and camera case into the living room and joined him on the couch. “Why? You could have called or texted.”
“I wanted to see you. I have something to tell you, and I want to know your honest feelings. Just be direct, okay?” Dylan leaned on his knees and hid his face in his hands. He rubbed his eyes and pushed his hair back.
He must know about Jenna.
Clare braced herself for Dylan’s words.
Will he marry Jenna? Will he leave California? Will I ever see him again?
She felt tears well and stood to pace.
Dylan started by clearing his throat. “Jenna and I broke up.”
Clare froze. She couldn’t have heard that correctly. “What?”
“We broke up.”
Clare glared at him. “You dumped her after she told you?”
Dylan sat up straight. “Told me what?”
Shit.
“She didn’t…”
Dylan stood and faced Clare. “She said she needed to figure something out on her own.”
Clare shook her head. “Figure it out on her own?”
“Do you know what she meant?”
“I have…I don’t…she didn’t tell you anything else?”
Like that she’s carrying your child?
Dylan shrugged. “No, Clare. What’s going on?”
“I…”
“Is this about us?”
“Us?”
“Alex thinks maybe Jenna picked up a vibe or something from us.”
“A vibe? Do we have a vibe?” Clare paced frantically. She hated Jenna for putting her in this position. How could she be the one to tell Dylan?
“We have a vibe, Clare, and Alex thinks Jenna figured out that…”
“That what?”
“That I’m in love with you,” he said in a shaky voice.
Clare raised her eyebrows.
What the heck?
Dylan Barnes? In love with Clare Davis from Nebraska?
It was only a kiss. Or two.
“Me?” she asked, pointing to her chest. “You’re in love with me?”
Dylan shrugged. “Why do you sound so surprised?”
“Because you can’t be in love with me, Dylan. Not now. Not ever. You go back to Jenna and you beg her forgiveness for whatever you did to create some vibe that doesn’t exist. You go fix this.”
Dylan stood and moved toward her. “But Clare, I love
you
. I have since the day I met you.”
Clare shook her head and backed away, holding her hand out to stop his words. “No. You can’t, Dylan.”
“When we kissed—”
“It was only a kiss! You can’t love me. I…I’m engaged!” Clare waved her arms, hoping to wipe away the entire conversation.
A month ago, a week ago, she’d ached to hear those words from Dylan. Now they seemed like a big tease. Jenna hadn’t told him about the baby. If she had, he wouldn’t be in her apartment declaring his love.
“Clare! Calm down. I’m trying to tell you how I feel here.”
She put her hands over her ears, scrunching her shoulders up. “I don’t want to hear.”
Dylan’s shoulders sagged and he gasped. “What the fuck is going on? First Jenna pushes me away, now you? I thought maybe you felt the same. That we could build a life together. I’m here to ask you to break it off with Lucas, to convince you that we are so much better together. You and I, we’re the real deal.”
Clare dropped her head. “You’re just saying that because you’re emotional about Jenna. You didn’t think that a week ago.”
“I did think it a week ago.” He looked into her eyes. “I’ve loved you since the day you crashed your big, stupid truck into my brand-new Beemer.”
Clare exhaled, and a tear fell down her cheek.
“Being with you makes me smile. You’re the only person I feel truly comfortable around. Because of you, I learned I still had a heart even when I thought Maggie had slaughtered it to pieces.”
Clare stared at him, listening but trying not to. Hoping, but hoping not.
“I know it sounds disingenuous after Vegas, but even when I was with Jenna, I found myself thinking about you. Worrying about you. Wondering what you were doing. If you were thinking about me too.”
Clare wiped away a tear. “I was.” She noticed Dylan smile just for a second. “But,” she continued, holding up her hand again and taking a step back, “I know how you felt about Jenna. You two have to work it out.” She wiped another tear away and watched him nervously push his hair out of his face.
“When you were in Nebraska, I called you. Lucas answered your phone, and it was clear you were in bed together. I heard him call you ‘sugar,’ and I gave up. I threw in the towel and thought I could let you go. Then I met Jenna.”
Clare paced again.
This is not happening. Not now.
“But remember the alley?” he asked.
“Of course I do, but—”
“There was no way I was going back to New York after that kiss. Kissing you was my dream come true, and as soon as we left the gallery, I was going to kiss you again and hope to God you kissed me back. But—”
“Lucas knocked on the door.”
“Lucas,” Dylan said. He stood and followed her around the room.
“Even after Jenna, even with Lucas, I couldn’t let you go. I don’t want to.” He reached out and took her arm, stopping her movement.
She looked him in the eye. For a brief second, she let herself imagine a life with him, then she remembered Jenna. “You have to let me go, Dylan. I need to go back to Lucas, and you need to go back to Jenna. She’s the one you should be with.”