The Love She Craves: Selling Her Soul to Declan (31 page)

She walked west knowing the hospital was located on the other side of the university and she cut through the middle of t
he campus. She liked the campus and the Glenna Goodacre statues she’d heard so much about. She even liked the trees. The energy of the students felt infectious. They were close to her age but she felt a lifetime older than most of these kids. From the outside, they looked like their only care in the world was their next grade. She wondered if any of them knew how lucky they were.

Did she?

Declan had been so good to her and yet she acted like a brat whenever he asked anything of her. With a guilty heart, she realized she defied him even now. It wasn’t an overly long walk, but he wanted her to take a cab for her own safety. She tried to justify her actions by telling herself it was 9:00 in the morning and she figured most miscreants were still in bed.

She didn’t know why she acted like that. How difficult would it have been to do what he asked? Was he asking anything unreasonable? Hell, she hadn’t even eaten breakfast because she didn’t like the way he wanted to control her. Perhaps her rebellion stemmed from the lack of structure growing up. Their house had one rule; don’t make Daddy mad. Her parents didn’t care if she did her homework or if she and Melinda fought. She could have stayed out all night if she’d had a place to go and they wouldn’t have cared. They would have been glad to be rid of her. When Melinda ran away, no one wondered where she’d gone. They seemed pleased that there was one less mouth to feed.

But Declan wasn’t like that. He took pleasure in seeing to her welfare. He cared if she ate and he worried about her safety. And it didn’t seem to be an act. He genuinely cared about her.

She thought about all the things he did for her. He had no concept of the value of money as far as she could tell, but she did. With the amount of money he was spending, she should follow his directions to the T. It wasn’t as if this would last forever. It was only for a finite amount of time. Hell, even if it cost as much as the lawyer said it might and she was contrac
ted to him for three years, she had worked at the truck stop twice that long. Three years wasn’t that long of a time at all. And she benefited in ways she never imagined possible. Someday she might have her GED and her license. Why would she risk losing everything to be willful?

Did she still feel he was trying to perpetrate an elaborate hoax? No. Absolutely not. For reasons she could not
grasp, he actually wanted her even though he had made it abundantly clear she was his sub not his girlfriend. But she never doubted he felt something for her. She couldn’t quite fathom what, but she didn’t understand her feelings for him yet either.

Nyxie admitted to herself she felt attracted to him. What woman wouldn’t? He was handsome and hard-bodied, smart and he had a way of making her feel special, wanted. She wasn’t sure if his kindness was an act. Other people certainly had differing opinions of him and she had seen his dark sid
e. But perhaps that part of him was the part that recognized her needs.

Christ, was she going to admit to herself she really did l
ike the kinky aspects of their relationship? Maybe that was why she rarely felt attracted to the men she met. Maybe she knew none of them would fulfill her unrecognized desires.

Her vagina was suddenly awake and wanting at the thought of him tying her up and feeling the sting of his riding crop. She knew she would struggle with coming to terms with how she could embrace something she spent her whole life trying to avoid. But how could she deny it. Even now, just the thought of him reddening her ass made her juices flow.

As she approached the main entrance of the hospital, the motion-sensor parted the wide doors and she walked through without changing her stride. But before her eyes could adjust to the interior lighting, Declan grabbed her arm.

“Dammit, Onyx, I told you to take a taxi.”

Damn his family stalker app.

She pulled at the biting fingers of his hand. “You’re worse than a helicopter parent.”

“If you want me to stop treating you like a child, act like an adult for a change,” he said in an overly controlled voice. “This isn’t Chimera Flats. You can’t just walk all over town.”

“Yes, you can. I just proved it. Not a single person stopped me or bothered me.”

His grip tightened painfully as he pulled her away from the entrance and the foot traffic of people coming and going. “This isn’t Chimera Flats,” he repeated.

“This isn’t the bad part of Houston or Laredo either.”

If it had been the dead of winter, the breath he exhaled out his nose would have looked like a cartoon bull breathing smoke.

“The fact that you arrived safely is irrelevant. We have a verbal contract and that agreement absolutely and unequivocally demands you must do as you’re told. If you have to, think of this as your fucking job. If your boss says always use the ice scoop because the health department requires it, would you still shove the cup through the ice?”

Nyxie kept her mouth shut. She had had that exact conversation with Bob many times before and when the diner was understaffed, she shoved those cups through the ice repeatedly to save time.

“Just because you know I won’t renege, you think you can do anything you want. It doesn’t work that way. You have earned a punishment and I have twenty hours to plan it.”

Nyxie stopped dead in her tracks and looked at her feet. “I spent much of my walk coming to the conclusion I am not living up to my end of the bargain. Sir, I will accept whatever punishment you see fit. Also, you should know, I didn’t eat breakfast before I left. I did it to defy you and it should probably have its own punishment.”

“Go to the cafeteria; get a Greek yogurt, an egg-white Denver omelet and a V-8. You have to eat every bite before you can go see Cody.”

“Yes, sir.”

31

Nyxie walked into the SICU some thirty minutes later and had the unpleasant surprise of finding Cody’s regular day nurse had the day off. It made her nervous when Cody didn’t have his regular nurses. Although Rachel had a somewhat surly disposition, Declan had assured her the woman was an excellent nurse. She also didn’t balk at Nyxie being present outside visiting hours.

“Hey, Cody,” she greeted her unconscious brother taking his hand and stroking the little skin on his cheek that wasn’t obscured by his feeding tube and ventilator straps.

She told him about her less than pleasant wake-up call that morning, and about seeing their sister the day before and how Melinda had agreed to legally give her guardianship.

After an hour of talking to him, she called Lotus and then Reina and put them on speaker so they could talk to Cody. But Cody didn’t move or make any other indications he was waking up.

Eventually, she sat down to read the book on her phone. It took a while to get into it, but soon she was lost in the story and the hours squeaked by without a twitch from Cody.

Suddenly, his back arched and his limbs began shaking uncontrollably. “He’s having a seizure!” she screamed. “Nurse! God, help me!”

The woman ran in from outside the curtain and stood there. “What are you doing? Help him.”

“T
here’s nothing to do.”

Nyxie grabbed her phone and called Declan praying he’d answer this time.

“Dr. Stry….”

“He’s having a seizure and the nurse isn’t doing anything,” she screamed into the phone.

“Put me on speaker.”

In her panic, Nyxie could barely remember how to turn the speaker on.

“Okay, you’re on speaker.”

“Nurse, this is Dr. Stryker. Administer Lorazepam, two milligrams, IV every two minutes until it stops for up to five doses.” His voice was calm and authoritative.

“Dr. Patel is his attending.”

“Do what you’re told. I’ll take responsibility. I’ll be there with Dr. Patel in five minutes.”

Declan and Dr. Patel arrived before his convulsions ended with the neurologist and Dr. Lannister a few minutes behind. As the doctors discussed his treatment, a female tech walked in with an EEG and began putting electrodes all over Cody’s head again.

Nyxie didn’t remember moving to the corne
r and standing behind the chair but she found herself glued to the spot as the doctors discussed whether they should put Cody back on the coma-inducing medicine or put him on anti-seizure meds and let him wake up. They all took turns listening to Cody’s lungs trying to factor his pneumonia in their decision.

When the tech finished hooking up all the leads, she turned the machine on. She watched the readout for a moment then looked up and gave Nyxie a small smile. “Dr. Rodriguez,” she said. The doctor stepped over to the machine and examined the readout. “What’s his name?”

“Cody,” Nyxie supplied making the activity on the machine increase noticeably.

“Cody, this is Dr. Rodriguez. Can you hear me?” The machine barely registered a change.

“Come here, little lady,” Dr. Rodriguez said to her. “Does he belong to you?”

“He’s my brother.” The machine reacted again.

The man nodded. “Well, he seems to like the sound of your voice. Why don’t you come over here and talk to him.”

Declan pulled the chair away from the wall giving her more room then extended his hand to her. She looked around at the doctors not sure what to say. “Cody, it’s Nyxie. I love you.”

The display showed a wide sweep.

Declan lifted the hand he held and guided it to Cody’s, wrapping the boy’s fingers around hers. “See if he’ll squeeze your hand or open his eyes.”

Nyxie fingers trembled and she tightened her grip on her brother’s hand. “Cody, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand.” She waited on pins and needles. Nothing. She looked at Declan then back at Cody. “Can you open your eyes?”

Other than the EEG responding to her voice, he made no indication he might be waking.

“Now I have proof when I tell you to take out the trash, you can hear me.”

All the doctors laughed softly. The men conferred again about what medicine to give him and when they should take him off the ventilator.

Nyxie withdrew her hand from Cody’s and moved it into Declan’s.  He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and held it firmly until all the decisions were agreed upon.

After the others had gone, Declan turned to Nyxie. “Are you all right, baby?”

She nodded with her eyes down.

“You don’t seem all right. You look really shaken up.”

Nyxie didn’t want to discuss herself at the moment. “I’d feel better if Cody had a different nurse.”

“I’ll see to it.”

As he turned to go, she stopped him with one barely audible word. “Sir.”

He turned back to her and she wrapped her arms around his muscular torso. “Thank you, sir. Thank you, for everything. I’m sorry I’m not a better…not-your-girlfriend.”

He tilted her head up until his lips could reach hers. His tender kisses evoked a maelstrom of feelings and emotions. She felt his strength and domination and for once her complete surrender. It felt so freeing to trust him—to know he would take care of her needs.

One hand lifted to his face. “I’m falling in love with you, sir. Is that allowed?”

“Yes, but not while I’m working. If I get a sleep break tonight, I’ll text you and you can meet me at your bench.”

“Yes, sir,” she whispered without argument.

32

They left Cody hooked up to the EEG to map his brain activity if he had another seizure so Onyx had been able to continue to see him responding to her voice.

The replacement nurse shot daggered looks at Nyxie for getting her friend in trouble and making her cry when she was pulled off her patient’s care. But Nyxie didn’t care. Maybe that was the normal procedure for a patient with an already diagnosed seizure disorder, but it seemed ludicrous to let a brain-injured patient thrash about.

Declan brought her a sandwich at lunch and forced her to leave the ICU to eat in the cafeteria with him for supper.

Joseph came on duty at seven and Nyxie was so glad to see him, she hugged him.

“Hey, Dixie Nyxie, it’s good to see you, too,” Joseph said. “How’s our little man, tonight?” Joseph asked as he opened the chart and began to read. His mood fell and he frowned.

“He had a seizure today,” Nyxie said. She lowered her voice so anyone on the other side of the curtain couldn’t hear as she told him about Cody’s seizure. Joseph explained that their main concern during a seizure was to secure the patient’s airway and since Cody was on a ventilator, the nurse had followed protocols.

“I see they added anti-seizure meds.” He looked at Cody. “Know what; I’m going to get some more pillows, really pad his bed in case it happens again. The last thing we want is to not have them if we need them.”

As Joseph went in search of extra pillows, Nyxie wondered why no one else had thought to do it. The on-duty nurse didn’t even move to a position where she could prevent him from hitting the bed rails.

“Now, Cody,” Joseph said tucking the pillows around him. “I understand you’re tired of being cooped up in this bed but this acting out is unacceptable. You scared your sister and could’ve hurt yourself so there will be no more of that young man.”

Nyxie noticed the scratching of the EEG increase as Joseph spoke. She stood by Cody’s side and wrapped his hand in hers. “He hasn’t reacted to anyone’s voice but mine,” she said. “He must recognize your voice.”

“Or maybe he’s waking up a little more.” Joseph lifted Cody’s eyelids and flashed a light in his eyes. “His pupils are faster than they were. Has anyone tried to see if he reacts to pain?”

“Not today.”

Joseph pressed his fingertips into Cody’s chest wall. Cody’s whole body extended making Nyxie think he was starting to convulse again.

“Stop,” she cried. “You’re hurting him.”

The nurse pulled back his hand immediately. When Cody’s body sank back into the bed, Joseph gave her a chagrined look. “That’s kind of the idea.”

“I thought he was having another seizure.”

Joseph came back around the bed to where Nyxie stood and put one arm around her shoulders. “That’s my fault, I should’ve warned you. What he did there is called an abnormal extensor response. It’s good that he’s responding to pain, but it’s not the response we want. But it is an improvement. Technically, it brings his coma up a level. At the next stage, we should see him flexing his muscles. After that, he should try to avoid pain—maybe lift his hand or open his eyes.”

Joseph put his splayed hand in the middle of his patient’s chest and patted a few times. “I know, Cody. That was a rotten trick to play. Just be glad I didn’t go for the purple nurple. I didn’t want your sister to think I was a perv.”

“You wouldn’t really do that, would you?” she asked knowing the term was slang for twisting his nipple.

Joseph nodded. “Squeezing and twisting the nipple, applying pressure to the nail bed, pin to the chest wall—it’s what we’re taught. But knowing kids these days; he probably has the old nips blinged out.”

“Yuck, that’s my baby brother you’re talking about.”

Lotus and Reina called together for a change. Lotus had somehow convinced the home to let her live in the younger girls’ house by befriending Reina’s house parents and promising to be helpful. Nyxie could hear the joy in their voices over getting to live together again. She asked them to send pictures of themselves both separate and together and she sent them a
selfie of her new haircut holding up the ASL sign for
I love you
. She put them on speaker and watched as Cody’s EEG reacted.

Declan entered the intensive care ward with his gym bag over his shoulder and shoe protectors on his loafers. He glanced at Nyxie sound asleep in the chair with a blanket thrown over her.

“You look tired,” Joseph said carrying an IV bag to his patient.

“Appendectomy. The idiot waited a day before he came in and the infection was everywhere. He’s in recovery now.”

Out of habit, Declan reached for Cody’s chart. “No more seizures?”

“Nope and he’s extending to pain.”

Declan’s head came up from the chart. “Bilaterally?”

“It’s kind of hard to tell with his left arm and leg in casts, but yeah, I thought it looked bilateral. See for yourself.”

“That’s okay. I’m not his doctor anymore and I have no desire to cause him pain to stave my curiosity.”

As Joseph replaced the empty bag, he casually spoke to Declan. “What about her? You gonna break her heart?”

Declan closed the chart and put it down. “What are you talking about?”

Joseph crossed his arms over his chest. “There’s such an imbalance of power in your relationship. You are the type-A doctor with all the power and she’s the little nothing from nowhere who’s got stars in her eyes because a doctor has noticed her. I don’t want to see you chew her up and spit her out.”

The muscle in Declan’s jaw ticked rhythmically. “I swear if I ever hear you call her a nobody from nowhere again, I’m going to punch you in the teeth. You think because you spent a day shopping with her, you know her?”

Joseph rolled his eyes as he turned to him. “‘No black, no red, no dark colors—absolutely no animal prints, no thongs. Whites, nudes and pastels are okay. Please, get lacy white bra, panties and thigh high stockings for Tuesday.’”

Declan’s brow lowered as he glanced at Nyxie. “She showed you the shopping list I gave her?”

“I kind of ripped it out of her hands and read it,” he admitted not the least embarrassed. “You’re a real control freak, you know that? You made her get what you liked not what she liked.”

Declan frowned and squeeze the back of his neck. He was too tired to deal with her self-appointed big brother.

“If I had told Nyxie to get what she wanted, she would’ve gone to Goodwill and purchased a dress for court and a bra. You haven’t seen her wardrobe. Most of her clothes have holes and stains. She deserves better. The only thing I was that specific about was her undergarments. Yes, I specified color, but if you saw her wardrobe you’d know all her panties are white cotton. I like the sweet innocent side of Nyxie and I didn’t want her buying porn star underwear because she thought
I
would like it.

“As for the imbalance of power: my parents are former Marines. My mother outranked my dad. She is a powerful, overbearing she-dog. Excuse me if I like the other extreme. I want to be her white knight.”

Joseph’s lips pursed as he moved his fists to his hips. “Who are you and what have you done with Declan Stryker? Dr. Stryker wanted to turn her into his sex slave.”

“How
do you think in asshole like me is going to keep a prize like her?”

Joseph looked a bit contemplative. “Dr. Stryker, have you noticed how fast your relationship is heating up? Maybe you should take a step back and think about what you’re doing. You said yourself you were practically preoccupied with her in high school. Maybe you’re letting your hormone-fueled obsession taint your viewpoint now.”

“I’m about five seconds away from telling you to go fuck yourself,” he said dismissively.

“I’m just sayin’,” Joseph said stepping out of the bay.

Declan gently woke Nyxie. “Hey, baby, are you ready to go home for a few hours?”

Nyxie squinted her eyes at him then glanced at the clock. “You didn’t text me to come join you?”

“I was in surgery all night.”

She stretched and yawned. “Whatever you want.” A shy smile appeared on her face and she knew he liked her answer.

“Do you feel like driving?”

She laughed as she threw off the blanket and bent down to put on her gladiator sandals. “You know I don’t have a license.”

“You said you have a permit.”

Nyxie’s face fell as she realized he was serious. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“Less traffic. Come on.” Declan picked up her overnight bag and extended his hand to her.

She tucked her phone inside her purse, and said goodbye to Cody before taking his proffered hand.

“What if I wreck your car?” she asked as they left the SICU.

“It’s insured,” he said handing her the key. “Maybe it’s time for something new. Or not. When I was a kid, I used to watch old M.A.S.H. reruns. I used to imagine my dad was a combination of Hawkeye and BJ and my mom was a combination of Charles and Hot Lips. They always drove around in Jeeps and it looked like so much fun, it made me want one. It turns out my father was Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscot and my mother was the CPS worker who took Lotus and Reina from you. At least the Jeep wasn’t a disappointment.”

As they exited the elevator, Declan handed her his key. “Press this button once to unlock the driver’s door and twice to unlock the passenger door also.”

“Does this mean I get to hold the door open for you?” she asked with an impish grin.

He slung his arm over her shoulders and bumped her with his hip. A small giggle escaped her lips as she sidestepped to keep her balance then she bumped him.

“Not in this lifetime or any other.”

“Your parents didn’t raise you?”

“My grandparents did until I was in middle school when my parents retired. Coach came out first. He got a job at a military academy in Virginia. He’d visit on holidays or I go up there for a week or two, but when Major came out, she just took me. Mom didn’t like Virginia, so Coach put out feelers in this part of the country because Grams and Gramps lived in Midland. It would make Major and me happy to be closer to them. That’s how we ended up in Chimera Flats. When the time for the move came, my folks let me fly home to Midland while they packed us up
military style
, but my grandparents never came to pick me up at the airport. Gramps had a stroke in the car on the way. He crashed into a bridge support. Gramps probably couldn’t have been saved, but Grams died from an overdose of painkillers. That’s why I’m going into geriatrics—to honor my grandparents.”

As they approached his Jeep, Nyxie hit the button twice to unlock the doors. “Geriatrics? I thought you were a surgical resident.”

“We go through a rotation. In another week, I’ll be in the ER for that rotation,” he said pulling open the driver’s door. “The ER is going to be a breeze. Twelve hours on, twelve hours off. It’s like a normal job. But I only get one day off every two weeks.”

Declan fastened her seatbelt, closed her door and crossed to the passenger side and climbed in. “Start it up,” he said clicking his seatbelt.

“Is there a right and wrong way to put the key in? I don’t want to get it stuck.”

“No. It works either way. That’s right, now turn it.”

Nyxie turned it until she felt a slight click. “It didn’t start.”

“You didn’t turn it far enough. When you feel the engine engage let go or you’ll tear up the starter.”

Her head pivoted on her shoulders, her eyes wide with concern. “Sir, I’m going to fuck up your car. Are you sure you want me to do this?”

“Put your hand on the key and I’ll help.”

A couple of seconds later the car was running.

“Adjust the seat and the mirrors.”

“How?”

With a huff of fatigue and frustration, Declan reached under her leg to the lever for the seat and helped her adjust it, then walked her through moving the mirrors.

“Step on the clutch with your left foot and the brake with your right.”

“The brake is the one in the middle, right?” she asked tilting her head to one side and looking through the steering wheel to the pedals.

“You’re not serious?” he asked incredulously.

“We didn’t have a car, sir. I’m just making sure.”

“Yes, clutch, brake, gas,” he said pointing. “Turn signal—up for right, down for left. Windshield wipers, horn, parking brake, gear shifter. Give me your hand.” He put her hand on the shifter. “Press the clutch in all the way to the floor.” He waited until she complied before guiding her through the gears and explaining that she had to use the clutch every time she shifted or stopped.

Nyxie killed the engine four times before getting out of the parking place and he had to keep reminding her to look for cars again with each new attempt. She put it in first gear and killed it again.

“God, I suck at this,” she complained.

“Everyone kills a standard when they learn to drive one—even experienced drivers. And after you get good at driving the Jeep, you’ll get in the BMW and you’ll kill it because the catch point on the clutch is different. I did it myself a couple at times.”