The Lost Boy (11 page)

“Is that the reason why you were so upset last week? Did he treat you like that last time?” Lilian asked.

I nodded. “I just don’t know. I feel so dumb, so small. I mean, I know what happened with Mother, and I was wrong and I’m really trying to forget all about it. I mean, maybe my mom’s sick. I know it’s the booze, but I have to know: Am I sick, too? Am I going to end up like her? I just want to know. I just want to know why it all happened the way it did. We were the perfect family. What happened?”

After I blew off my steam, I stretched out in the passenger seat. Lilian leaned over, “All better now?”

“Yes, ma’am, ” I answered. She started the car. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep. I held my right arm just above my wrist. I strained myself to stay awake a little bit longer. “Mrs C, I don’t ever want to go back there – ever, ” I said. And then my world went black.

I stayed by myself in my room for the next few days. Then Big Larry asked if I wanted to watch him bowl. I happily accepted, and once again my big foster brother and I set out for another adventure. I found out our destination as we rode our bikes through nearby Daly City. Larry and I rode down the small street that led into the parking lot of Thomas Edison Elementary School. Slowing my bike, I watched as the children played on the swing sets. I skidded to a stop, breathing in the smell of fresh tanbark. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I was a child who happily played in the same play yard during recess.

A heavy fog seemed to hover over the school before it lowered itself. The outline of the children became lost as the gray mist seemed to swallow them, too. After a few minutes, only their sounds of laughter told me that the children were even there.

I shook off the thoughts of my past as I pumped my bike up another hill and away from my old school. About 10 minutes later, Larry and I stopped at the Sky Line grocery store – the same store I had stolen from when I ran from the school during my lunch recess. I stayed close to Larry’s side. I thought for sure someone would recognize me. “Are you okay?” Larry asked as we strolled down the aisles.

“Yeah, ” I answered in a low voice. My eyes darted around every corner. I walked in slow motion and grabbed Larry’s belt to tell him to slow down. I was on Mother’s turf now.

“Hey man, what’s your problem?” he asked after my last tug.

“Ssh. I used to live here, ” I whispered.

“Really? Cool, ” Larry said, as he chomped on a fruit pie as we were walking outside the store. “Is that why you acted funny at that school?”

“I … I guess so, ” I answered.

After Big Larry finished two more cream pies, a few candy bars and two sodas, we set off to the bowling alley. The ride up Eastgate Avenue became too much for me. I hopped off my bike and stared down the street as I walked past. “Stop!” I barked without warning.

From behind me Larry was panting like a dog. “What’s up?”

“Do me a favor, ” I said. “Let’s take a break and ride down this street.”

A cloud of mist escaped his mouth. “Yeah, okay. What gives?” he asked.

“You promise not to tell?”

“Yeah man, what’s up?”

“Don’t tell … but I used to live on this street.”

Larry’s head swiveled to the street sign. “Cool! Which house?”

“The dark green one. On the left side, in the middle of the block, ” I said, as I pointed down the street.

“Hey, man, I don’t know about this, ” he said, shaking his head. “Mom would definitely say no. So, no it’s not a good idea! What if your mother or your brothers are outside?”

I parked my bike behind a clump of bushes, staying close as I peered down the street. I could hear Larry stumbling behind me. My heart raced. I knew that what I was doing was wrong and dangerous. “If you decide to accept this mission …” Larry whispered, as if we were both working on an assignment from
Mission: Impossible.

“Come on. The coast is clear, ” I said, giving Larry the high sign.

Larry shook his head. “I don’t know about this.”

“Come on, ” I begged. “I’ve never asked you for anything. Mrs C will never find out. Besides, I’ll … I’ll do your chores for a whole week. Okay? Please?”

“Okay, kid. It’s your neck.”

I jumped back on my bike and kept the pressure on my brake as I slowly rode. No one seemed to be outside. I could see that the garage door to Mother’s house was closed. As we approached the green and black house, I let out a shriek of joy.
This is so cool,
I told myself. Suddenly a pair of heads popped up from my brothers’ bedroom window. “Shit!” I muttered.

“What’s wrong?” Larry asked.

“Just go!” I snapped.

“What?”

“I said, let’s go!”

“Hey man, what’s the problem?”

“Not now!” I yelled. “Come on! Go! Go! Go!”

I leaned forward on my handle bars and pedaled so hard that I thought my chain would fly off. I skidded to a stop at the bottom of the street. My heart seemed as if it were stuck in my throat. I waited for the garage door to swing open, followed by Mother racing out in her station wagon or my brothers flying off on their bikes and chasing after me down the street. I had already calculated several escape routes.

“Did you see that?” I asked.

“See what? Man, what’s wrong with you?” Larry asked.

“The window!” I said, still panting as I pointed up the street. “My brothers … they saw me!” My eyes stayed fixed on every sound, every movement, from The House.

Nothing happened.

“Man, ” Big Larry whined, “you got too much of that James Bond stuff in your head. I didn’t see nothing. You’re just seeing things. Come on, let’s go. And remember, ” Larry said, as he pedaled off, “A deal’s a deal.”

“Just as long as Mrs C don’t find out!” I replied, as I tried to catch up.

Hours later I felt a cold chill as Larry and I returned to Lilian’s home. “What’s up?” I whispered to Larry. He gave me one of his “I dunno” looks.

“Hey, ” he said, “I’ll go upstairs, get a bite to eat and check things out for you, okay?”

I eagerly agreed as I watched Larry from the bottom of the stairs. Suddenly Mrs Catanze came into view. By instinct I hid in the shadows. “Larry!” she barked. “Get that overstuffed face up here this moment! And you, ” she pointed her finger down at me, “I can see you! You can wait for me in your room. Now move it! The both of you.”

My eyes became the size of silver dollars. I smiled wide, showing my teeth as I pointed at my chest. “Me?” I asked. She returned my smile. I could see that her hands were on her hips. That was the moment I knew I was in serious trouble. I waited in my room and wondered what I may have done. I hadn’t stolen any candy from the local stores in the last several days. And Larry Jr and I were staying out of each other’s way. I had no idea what I did wrong.

I didn’t have to strain my ears to listen. “... you’re supposed to be responsible when David’s with you. He’s just a baby. You’ve seen what he’s like.”

“Come on now, Mom. He’s 12 years old. He does okay for himself. Besides, we didn’t do nothin’, ” Larry shot back. I still had no idea what Larry and I did wrong.

“No? Then why has David’s mother, the Mother Superior, been on the phone with me all afternoon?”

Uh oh,
I said to myself as I swallowed hard. From outside I heard the sound of a car door slam shut. I jumped to the window to see Rudy wave at me. I slumped back on my bed, waiting my turn.

“
Mister
Pelzer … get your little butt in here, now!” Lilian yelled.

In an instant I sprang up and ran into the kitchen. I knew I was in an interesting position. Even though I was in trouble, it wasn’t as though Mrs Catanze was going to beat me. As I entered the kitchen, I became anxious to see what exactly Lilian had in store for me. This was the first time that I was in what Big Larry had called “The Dog House.”

“Tell me, ” Lilian began, with her hands glued on her hips, “tell me that you didn’t convince this walking paramecium over here to drive by your mother’s house.”

I swallowed hard and again attempted to turn on my charm, flashing Mrs C my best smile. “Para … ?”

“An insect with no brains! And that’s what you’re going to be if I don’t get any answers!” Lilian spouted.

“What in the Sam Hill is going on here?” Rudy shouted as he entered the kitchen.

“Freeze! Don’t either one of you move!” Lilian warned, as she turned to her husband.

Without her knowing, I cupped my hand to my mouth and let out a giggle. I thought her remark about Big Larry was hilarious. I could imagine him with big bug eyes and oversized wings, flying around, trying to find something to eat. I had never seen Lilian get that upset before. And I knew that all I had to do was ride out the storm.
What’s the big deal?
I said to myself.

On the other hand, Big Larry looked as if he had just weathered some pretty rough seas.

Lilian marched right up to Rudy, whose eyes darted between Larry and me. “The moron twins – Doofus and Wonder Boy here – took a little ride by his mother’s house.”

“Jesus!” Rudy exhaled.

I stood in front of the three of them, not understanding the consequences of my actions.
What’s the big deal?
I asked myself again.

“I’m sorry, ” I blurted. “It’s all my fault. I asked Larry to do it. All we did was ride down the street. What’s the problem?” I asked innocently.

“Well, your mother has been on the phone all afternoon, ranting and raving about you, ” Lilian said, pointing a finger at me, “terrorizing the streets.”

“No!” I shook my head. “She’s lying! All we did was ride down the street. We didn’t do anything, honest, ” I said, doing my best to sound calm.

“David, ” Lilian said as she let out a deep sigh, “don’t you understand?
You
are not
allowed
to go anywhere near her house, her boys or her.”

My hands shot up in the air. “Wait! Slow down. What do you mean,
I’m not allowed?”
I shouted, as I tried to get Lilian’s attention. But I couldn’t stop her; she was on a roll.

“That’s only the half of it. Your mother, the sainted Mother Teresa, tells me that if
I
cannot
manage The Boy, she’ll
find someone who can!”

My mind fought to sort out the words
allowed
and
manage.

Lilian bent down. “Don’t you ever, ever do that again! You’re grounded!”

“Grounded?”

“That’s right, you’re grounded until … until I decide to unground you!” Lilian finished with a huff before I could ask her what she meant.

Larry stood in disbelief. “Man, I told you that was a bad idea.”

“So … ? That’s it?” I asked. I knew Lilian was mad, but I expected … well, I didn’t know what to expect.
This I can handle,
I told myself.

As Big Larry wiped his forehead, Lilian marched back in the kitchen. “Wipe that smirk of your face, Wonder Boy, ” she said as she looked at me. “I forgot – your father’s coming over tomorrow morning at 7:00, so you’ll have to get up early. You can
manage
that, can’t you?” Lilian asked with a sly smile.

“Yes, ma’am. I can
manage, “
I replied in a sheepish tone.

“And you!” she yelled as she turned her attention to Larry. “Go to your room!”

Larry shrugged his shoulders. “Oh, Mom, do I have to?”

“Move it!” Lilian barked.

Once Larry left the kitchen, Lilian wiped her eyes. “Come here and sit down. Now listen very carefully. Your mother …” She stopped to clear her throat. “David, I’ve been taking care of kids since I don’t know when. I have never, ever met anyone as cold as your mother.”

“You’re telling me!” I interrupted.

“David, this is not the time to act funny. You have to understand something: You’re a foster child.
A foster child.
And because of that, you’ve got two strikes against you. You have to be careful of everything you say and everything you do. If you get into trouble, we … we could lose you.”

I knew by the seriousness of her tone that what she was telling me was important. But I simply could not understand the message.

Lilian nodded, indicating she was again talking over my head. “David, if you get into trouble, you could end up in the hall – juvenile hall. That’s where they send foster children who end up in trouble. It’s a place you never want to end up. I don’t know what your mother’s up to, but
you,
young man, better learn how to
manage
yourself a little better. Otherwise you’ll be grounded – for a year.” Lilian patted my knees and then walked out of the kitchen.

I knew that she was using Mother to scare me. I also knew that Mother could never get to me, now that I was in foster care … _could she _?

“Hey, Mrs C, ” I shouted, “what’s
grounded?
”

“Oh, don’t you worry. You’ll soon find out, ” Lilian laughed, as she strolled down the hall and into her bedroom.
“You’ll manage!”

That evening I thought long and hard about what Lilian had told me. After Rudy and Lilian left for dinner, I had an overwhelming urge to call Mother. Strangely, I just wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice. I picked up the phone several times, but I couldn’t bring myself to dial her number.

I wiped away my tears as Connie bounced into the kitchen. “Hey, what’s up?”

I broke down and told her what I was trying to do. Without a word, Connie took the phone and dialed my mother’s number. Moments later I nearly choked as I heard the recording that Mother’s number was “... no longer in service.” Connie persisted and called the operator, who confirmed the number was now unlisted.

I stood in front of Connie not knowing what to say or do. I didn’t know how I should feel. I knew that Mother had changed her telephone number as a form of another “game” -I was not
allowed
the privilege of
her
number.

After Connie’s date came to pick her up, I sat down and stared at the television. I had never been alone in the house before. I counted the hours until Father would pick me up the next morning. I drifted off to sleep as I watched the black-and-white snowflakes dance across the TV screen.

The next morning I stumbled out of bed as I rubbed my eyes, then made my way over to the bedroom window. I turned and looked behind me. I didn’t remember how I got to bed. After I put on my best clothes and washed my face, twice, I ran to the living room window. I stood tall as I waited for Father.