The Lie (21 page)

I was like so excited.
I mean a little part of me had a small amount of not like regret but almost like buyer’s remorse or something, you know? Like I had thought about getting back together with Kyle and everything and it was definitely what I wanted but I just didn’t like expect it to happen so fast. I mean I really thought after that dinner there would be a few days of him kind of thinking about it and a few days for me to kind of think about it even though I basically told him I wanted to get back together that night and everything, but he called me that night and was like, “I broke up with Erin and I want you to come over,” so I pretty much had to. I couldn’t really have been like, “Uh, hang on a second, I still thought I was going to get a few more days before we jumped back into things.” I mean I was basically the one who initiated the whole thing. I wish I had said that to him now, but that night I guess I was just a little nervous to be getting right back into another relationship and really when you think about it, it was like the same relationship I was already in less than a year ago. But then the alternative was like hooking up with random frat guys, which didn’t really seem all that appealing to me for obvious reasons.

I was kind of excited to have sex with Kyle that night. I mean he was still like the best sex I’d ever had and I knew he would go down on me. I didn’t really for sure know if I was completely ready to have sex after the thing with Brian and Josh, but I didn’t feel nervous about it when I was walking out of the Kappa house to go to McElvaney, so I thought that was like a pretty good sign.

When I got to his dorm, he let me in and gave me a big hug. I know it sounds stupid but it felt so good, like I could feel how much he loved me in that hug. I knew I had missed him because I was thinking about him so much in the weeks before we got back together, but I guess I didn’t know how much I missed him until that hug. He kept on hugging me for like a minute, then he kind of pulled back and looked in my eyes and was like, “I love you, Heather.”

I was like, “I love you, too.” It felt good to say because I knew I really meant it.

He was like, “I don’t ever want to have to lose you again. Promise me I won’t lose you again.”

When he said that I thought it was kind of weird, like a little too much too soon, you know? I mean I know we just got back together and everything and it wasn’t like we were able to take anything slow or anything because we had already been a couple for like a year, so getting back together was pretty much starting where we left off, but he was basically saying he wanted to be together like forever. I loved him and everything, but we had literally been a couple again for like less than an hour and he was talking about never being apart again. It kind of freaked me out but not that much and I was just like, “I promise.”

Then he kissed me and I remembered what a good kisser he was. It was like he actually liked to kiss. Brian never did, or if he did it was only to get me in the mood to fuck him. Kyle actually liked kissing and you could totally tell. We made out for like twenty minutes and then he started taking off my shirt. It was kind of weird at first—like I started thinking about that night with Brian and Josh—but I didn’t really want to make Kyle think something was wrong. I mean it was our first night back together. I knew that we were going to have to have sex. So I just kind of tried to put it out of my mind and for the most part it wasn’t that hard to do.

Once we were naked it actually got a lot better for me. Kyle was like really gentle and liked to cuddle and be like really intimate with how he would touch me and everything, which was like the exact opposite of Brian. So I wasn’t really thinking about Brian. At one point I did start thinking about if Kyle wanted to fuck doggy style I didn’t think I’d be able to do that. I mean any position really with a guy behind me was going to be a problem, you know? And I also was kind of thinking that giving a blowjob might be a problem, too. But after Kyle fingered me a little and I was like jerking him off a little I actually got really turned on by how into it Kyle was; like even more than his hugs and kisses and everything I could tell he really loved me by the way he touched me and that was a huge turn-on.

So I didn’t really mind going down on him. And once I actually had his dick in my mouth it was so different from Brian that I was fine with it. Brian never really trimmed his pubes and he had like a pretty big bush that wasn’t necessarily gross, but it wasn’t all that appealing. I didn’t know if Kyle ever trimmed his pubes, but he always seemed to be really neat and clean.

So after I sucked him off a little he went down on me, and at that point like any apprehension I had about having sex with Kyle was gone. I really had forgotten how good he was at going down on me and once he started I was seriously more horny than I had been in a long time and pretty much all I could think about was fucking him.

He was sitting up in his bed and I kind of sat in his lap so we were like face-to-face and I just rode him kind of slowly. He held me really tight and kissed me the whole time. He didn’t even grab my boobs that much or anything. It was like he just wanted to get close to me and it made it really nice. I think that night probably more than any other with Kyle I really got to know what it felt like to be completely loved.

I didn’t get off, but I didn’t think that was a big deal. I mean given everything that had happened the last time I had sex. I figured at some point I would be able to again and feeling Kyle cum inside me was almost as good as if I had gotten off anyway. After we finished I lay down beside him and he kissed me on the forehead and then like rolled around behind me and spooned me.

Even after all the shit Kyle put me through and even though I know what a complete asshole he is now, I think I’ll always remember that night, lying in his shitty bed in a shitty dorm room in McElvaney Hall, as one of the safest feelings I’ve had in my life.

The next morning I woke up in like exactly the same position I fell asleep in. Kyle still had his arms around me. I kind of turned over and watched him sleep for a few seconds before he woke up. It’s weird to think about now, but I really did love him, like I mean a lot, you know?

We went and got breakfast that morning and then we went to NorthPark mall and just walked around. He went to Forever 21 with me and the Vera Wang store even though I knew he didn’t want to and he didn’t complain once and he held my hand the whole time, like he didn’t want to let go of me. It was a really great feeling to have a guy who I knew loved me again. I was like seriously happy.

The information divulged
to me by Kyle the day after his dinner date with Heather was not completely unexpected but was nonetheless shocking. He had escaped the jaws of death only to willingly place himself back within their bite.

My father had four courtside Mavericks season tickets that he rarely used, so I took Kyle to a Mavericks/Bulls game with the intent of getting the full story of his hellish reunion with Heather. Neither of us followed sports or ascribed to them any importance, but the courtside seats generally offered me the opportunity to find one or more whores whom I could easily defile that night. I was hoping the ease with which these whores could be acquired would convince Kyle of the mistake he had made.

Anecdotally, once at the game, Kyle and I found ourselves sitting a few seats away from Mark Cuban, who was in his standard entertaining form.

Kyle initiated the conversation about himself and Heather by trying to explain to me that love was real, despite my insistence on the opposite. I attempted all of my old arguments, and it became apparent very quickly that no headway would be made by either party. Kyle maintained that I had no real choice in the matter but to accept their relationship as legitimate and do my best to become Heather’s friend, as she would no doubt be spending more and more time with him and, in turn, with me.

I asked Kyle if Heather was okay with the whore from her sorority that he fucked to spite her. He claimed that this event hadn’t come up between them yet, but if it did he was certain she would have no choice but to be understanding in the face of her own sexual misconduct. His reasoning was sound, but in the face of a whore’s logic, sound reasoning was virtually irrelevant—a fact Kyle still hadn’t come to understand at that point.

After a brief lull in the conversation I turned his attention to two very attractive sluts sitting two sections above us. I attempted to appeal to his basic biological nature and posed to him a bet of sorts. I asked him if he would fuck one of the sluts indicated if I could get them to come down to us and share the other two seats. He claimed he wouldn’t cheat on Heather. Even after I pointed out that either of the cunts was easily twice as attractive as Heather (which he incorrectly denied), Kyle was unwavering. Nonetheless at halftime I made my way to their seats and invited them to join us, which they, of course, did without hesitation.

Once in the seats I opened the discussion to them, forcing Kyle to fill them in on all the details of his relationship with Heather up to what was then its current status. I then asked the girls to give their meaningless opinions on whether or not it would be cheating if Kyle were to get in the Jacuzzi back at my mansion with either one of them. This statement was meant to serve two obvious purposes: (1) It informed the whores that I had a mansion, and (2) it allowed Kyle to see that sluts as attractive as these two could be interested in him (or at least could feign interest in order to see my mansion).

It was decided that sitting in a hot tub is nowhere near cheating, and since I, or my driver rather, was Kyle’s ride, he had no choice but to come back to my house with these sluts. Once there his biological programming kicked in, and after several drinks he did indeed get in the Jacuzzi with myself and the two whores. I initiated the first sexual advance by informing the more attractive of the two sluts that she had two choices: remove her bathing suit or suck my dick. She agreed to the former with a drunken smile. Kyle was made visibly uncomfortable by this, so I commanded the other slut to comfort him. She made a legitimate attempt by moving in for a kiss, but Kyle shied away and got out of the Jacuzzi. He retreated somewhere inside my house and left me to fuck both of the whores myself. It was a very similar situation to the last time we were in the Jacuzzi with two sluts, except this time Kyle did not fuck one of them before I did.

After I was through with the whores I told them to take a cab back to whatever place they’d come from, then made my way inside to find Kyle. I found him asleep in a guest room, his phone next to his head. I looked through his recent calls to find that for the entire forty-two minutes I had been in the Jacuzzi fucking the sluts he had been engaged in conversation with Heather about what I could only assume was nothing of importance—probably wordless cooing and pet-name exchanging.

I left him to sleep without waking him up to revisit the conversation, knowing that I had more than likely lost my best friend forever. Heather had, by some means that remained unknown to me, stolen him once more, and this time her possession of him seemed so utterly complete that I feared the person Kyle used to be, the friend I used to have, would cease to exist soon after that night. The actuality of the transformation Kyle would undergo in the coming years was something far beyond anything I would have ever predicted.

I watched the sluts wait outside for a cab for a few minutes and then I got in my bed and thought of the days as children when Kyle and I used to spend hours playing
Mario Kart 64
. The game, despite its repetitive nature in a single-player format, never bored us when playing with each other. Sleep came easily that night once I reconciled the loss of my best friend to the very thing I hated most in the world.