The Lie (15 page)

Oh my God.
Seriously, how did he find out? Was he at the party? Was Brett there? Did he see? Did fucking Brian tell him? Did Annie? The only way out of it was to deny everything, so that’s pretty much like exactly what I did.

I was like, “What? What are you talking about?”

He was like, “Brett saw you sucking some guy’s dick in a bedroom at the party last night.”

I remember thinking that I was like seriously sad that it was Brett who saw me because I still kind of felt like somewhere down the road there might have been a chance for me and Brett to get together, but probably not if he saw me giving a blowjob to another guy.

I was like, “I don’t think he saw me. Are you sure he saw me?”

He was like, “Heather, come on. I know you did it. Why are you pretending you didn’t?”

I could tell he really did know. At first I thought maybe he heard something or had a suspicion and was just trying to get me to like give myself up by admitting it, but he knew. I could see it in his eyes. So I was like, “I’m sorry,” and I just started crying. Kyle’s face went white and he sat down on his bed and was like, “Holy fucking shit. I can’t believe this. I loved you.”

I was like, “I love you, too. I’m so sorry. I was drunk and high,” which I didn’t want to tell him but it kind of slipped out.

He was like, “High? So you were doing drugs and sucking cocks? How long have you been doing this? Was it just this one time or is that what you normally do at these fucking parties?”

I was like, “No. It was just one time.”

He was like, “Jesus fucking Christ,” and he was kind of getting mean. He was like, “How many other guys have you given blowjobs to or fucked?”

I was still crying pretty bad. I was like, “None, you asshole.”

He was like, “Oh, I’m an asshole? You sucked a guy’s fucking cock last night. I’m pretty sure that makes you the asshole here.”

I tried to hug him and he stood up off his bed like he didn’t want me to touch him. He was like, “So who is this fucking guy?”

I was like, “Just some guy. He’s a Pike.”

He was like, “I don’t give a shit about what frat he’s in. I meant how long have you known him? Has this been going on with him a long time? Do you want to date him?”

I was like, “I don’t know. I guess I’ve known him since rush week last year.”

He was like, “And have you ever done this before with him?”

I was like, “No.”

He was like, “And do you want to go out with him or be in any kind of a relationship with him?”

I hadn’t really thought about it until right then, how it might be pretty good to have Brian as a boyfriend. I mean, even though I really liked Kyle—I mean, I loved him, I guess—I did start dating him just to try to get to Brett, and that didn’t really look like it was ever going to happen. So, seriously, having Brian as a boyfriend would be pretty cool. I was like, “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

Then Kyle sat down on his bed again and put his head in his hands.

I was still crying. I was like, “I’m so sorry. What are you going to do?”

He was like, “Heather, I love you more than anything. I can’t believe you would do something like this, but I don’t want to lose you.”

I tried to hug him again but he stood back again like still he didn’t want me to touch him.

He was like, “Here’s what I think we should do. I think you should quit your sorority.”

I stopped crying because that actually made me like get pretty mad. I was like, “What?”

He was like, “If we’re going to stay together I’m not going to be able to handle you going twice a week to parties where I think you’re sucking another guy’s cock, especially if the guy whose cock you sucked is actually at those parties, which he will be.”

I was like, “Well, I’m not quitting Kappa. I can’t believe you’d even ask me to do that.”

He was like, “What choice do I have? Should I just ignore this?”

I was seriously pissed off at this point. I mean, he supposedly loved me, but he just wanted me to throw away Kappa like it didn’t mean anything to me. Honestly, it’s like, did I really want to be with a guy who didn’t understand what made me happy? And if I dumped Kyle, I could probably start dating Brian like immediately, so there really wouldn’t be a time without a boyfriend. So I was like, “I’m not quitting Kappa. You’re a fucking asshole for even trying to make me feel bad enough to do it, and I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t care about me enough to know what makes me happy.”

He was like, “Wait a minute. You sucked a dick and you’re the one dumping me?”

I was like, “That’s what it looks like. And I’m gonna suck his dick again, too. Probably tonight.” I felt bad when I said that to him, like it was too much, but now I’m seriously glad I did say it, because he started crying.

He was like, “Wait. I’m sorry.”

It was too late, though. I had already made up my mind. I kind of felt good, like a burden was lifted off me when I dumped Kyle. And as I walked out of his room on that day I remember actually being excited about getting to fuck Brian. I could still hear Kyle crying on his bed as I walked down the hall toward the elevator in McElvaney. When I got outside, I called Brian and told him the good news. I went over to Pike that night and fucked him. He wasn’t as good as Kyle was in bed, but his body made up for it, and the fact that he was a Pike was way better than Kyle not even being in a frat at all. So if we became a couple I was happy that overall he was an upgrade for sure.

To say Kyle
was merely upset over his breakup with Heather would be similar to saying that I only occasionally derive a very minor amount of amusement from seeing a whore cry after being forced to swallow my semen from another whore’s cunt. Kyle was barely recognizable as a fully functioning human being in the weeks after Heather was unfaithful to him and then initiated their relationship’s end.

I became aware of how dire the situation was only after realizing that I hadn’t heard from Kyle in several days, which was abnormal. After he failed to return any of my phone calls for the better part of a final day, I sought him out in person, arriving at McElvaney Hall sometime in the early evening to find him in his bed wallowing in very obvious self-pity—something I then had, and still have, little patience for. I have the capability to be understanding and possibly even sympathetic in situations that warrant it, and even in some that do not, like this one, but my patience was wearing more than thin. Kyle was free from what I knew to be the worst thing in his life. I understood that he didn’t share my view, and therefore I entertained his sorrow for a few minutes upon my arrival. I tolerated a conversation that included Kyle’s assumption that he would never love someone as much as he loved her, Kyle crying, Kyle admitting that he didn’t care if she sucked a different man’s dick every night as long as they were together, et cetera. It all became too pathetic for me to indulge.

After he told me that he hadn’t left his room, not even to eat or conduct basic routines of hygiene, I failed to find inside me the sympathy I previously mentioned. I ripped him from his bed and forced him into the showers, dragging him under the running water without bothering to help him disrobe. This was something I had seen in countless movies and television shows and had always hoped for an opportunity to try myself. This, I reasoned, was that opportunity.

I valued Kyle as a friend and it was unbearable for me to see him, someone whom in many ways I considered my equal, reduced to what he had become. In retrospect I have wondered if I made an error in my actions on that day. If I had allowed Kyle to grieve properly over the loss of this relationship, perhaps he would have been more rational about Heather, and nothing that came to pass would have come to pass. I don’t feel I’ve made many mistakes in this entire ordeal, but that was one of them. It was not the most heinous of my mistakes but it was definitely the first and possibly the one to which the others owe their existence.

As Kyle sat in the running water I explained to him that his new life was beginning that night. I gave him no choice in the matter, explaining that I would find some girls for us to fuck and insisting that he, in fact, fuck at least one of them. I concluded by saying that if he wanted to end his sorrow, the easiest and best way to accomplish that would be to move on, to forget about Heather. And, of course, the easiest way to do that would be to fuck another slut. I didn’t call Heather a slut, though, even though she was one of the highest order.

I met with resistance from Kyle, which was expected, so I resorted to an appeal to two basic human desires, one decidedly more male in nature: revenge and carnal lust. I explained to Kyle that I knew he must be angry at Heather, that he must hate her for committing her act of infidelity, that he must want to return her favor at some level and make sure she found out about it. And I further explained that I would be able to provide for him any girl he could possibly want to help him in this plan for revenge. I suggested any girl from Heather’s sorority.

As I spoke about my ability to convince any girl on campus to fuck him, something primal began to stir inside him. He told me that he did on some level desire revenge, and that “the sad truth,” or so he called it, was that he hadn’t had sex with anyone in almost two weeks, and since Heather’s departure he had no prospect of changing that. His urge to fuck had returned to him, slowly creeping back through the malaise of emotional confusion and pain, a truth I found to be anything but sad. Kyle admitted that fucking a slut from Heather’s sorority would give him pleasure beyond the carnal. Knowing that Heather would find out about it would give him closure much quicker, he thought, than wading through the mire of sadness and depression that he was just dipping his toes in at the time.

I helped him out of the shower and plans were made to meet back up that night at my place, where I assured him I would already have one of the most attractive girls from Heather’s sorority waiting with her mouth open and ready for his cock. He laughed at this. I couldn’t tell if his laugh was anticipatory or if he doubted my ability to make good on my promise. Either way, he would be fucking a slut who was not Heather and hopefully in so doing would return to his normal self once more.

I had had several dealings with most of the Kappa Kappa Gammas, and I was more than certain I would be able to coerce at least two of them back to my house for an evening of no-holds-barred sexual debasement.

I rang the doorbell of the Kappa Kappa Gamma house, unsure what to expect and having no premeditated plan. The girl who answered clearly knew who I was, greeting me by name, despite my having no idea who she was. I immediately valued her below my standards, and while she was easily attractive enough for Kyle to fuck I wanted to make this night better than what he was used to. I wanted him to fuck the second most attractive girl in the Kappa Kappa Gamma house (the most attractive to be fucked by me), who was clearly not the troll who had answered the door on that day.

Besides Heather, the only girl in the Kappa Kappa Gamma house whose name I knew was a slut named Gina DelMonte, who, at the time, I was unsure if I had ever fucked. She was highly attractive, with a slightly flat ass that was made up for by a pair of perfectly round and firm C-cup tits. I asked the troll to summon Gina, which she did without question.

Once at the door, Gina hugged me a little too readily, leading me to believe two things: (1) We had fucked at some point this semester, and (2) I, for some unknown reason, did nothing to demean her during that fucking. I told her I was having a few friends over, but trying to keep it very intimate. I extended an invitation to her and to one other of her sisters in the house, with the exception of any girls who were not as attractive or as willing to fuck as she was and, of course, Heather.

Her excitement disgusted me and made me look forward even more to taking a shit just prior to her arrival, wiping but not showering, and then commanding her to give me a thirty-minute rim job before jerking off into her face.

I guess part of me
thought that it just wouldn’t end up happening. When Brett brought it up and offered to make it happen, I was mad at Heather. I wanted to make her feel the way I felt when I found out she had sucked some guy’s dick. And, as pathetic as it was, more than just making her feel like shit, I hoped she’d get jealous and realize she wanted to get back together. Also, I hadn’t had sex in a while, so I was pretty horny, and it seemed like sex with one of Heather’s sorority sisters was a pretty surefire two-birds-with-one-stone scenario. But I didn’t really think it was going to happen. I thought I’d go over to Brett’s house and we’d play
Rock Band
or something. I didn’t even think he’d get any girls over on such short notice.

But when I got to his house I realized I was stupid to have ever questioned his powers. I don’t really know why I would have questioned Brett being able to get two girls to his house who were pretty much there just to have sex with him. I had seen him do it a million times before. Nonetheless, when I showed up at his house and there were two really hot chicks in bikinis in his Jacuzzi, I was surprised.

He introduced me as his best friend, Kyle, and told me to throw on a bathing suit and join them, which I did. Once all four of us were in the Jacuzzi together it became pretty clear that Brett had already paired us off. I assumed he was going to take the brunette with the big tits by the way he was ramming his tongue down her throat and grabbing those previously mentioned tits. And I was going to get the other chick, who I personally found more attractive. Her name was Jenna and she was kind of pale. I thought I might have actually seen Heather hanging out with her at some point. I might have even met her, but when I asked her if we had met, she said, “You’re not in a frat, right?”

I said, “No.”

She said, “Then there’s no way we could’ve ever met.”

What happened next was just weird—weird for me, I mean. I’m sure Brett is very used to having sex with chicks who are essentially complete strangers, but it was going to be a first for me. I didn’t really know if I should just lean in and start kissing her or what the deal was. I guess Brett could tell I wasn’t really the best at getting things started, because he came up for air with the chick he was with and said, “Okay. What’s your name again?”

Jenna said, “Jenna.”

Brett said, “Jenna, this is Kyle. Remember how I told you he was my best friend?”

She said, “Yeah.”

Brett said, “Well, I like to make sure my best friends are happy.”

She said, “Okay.”

Brett said, “And I’m pretty sure Kyle would be really happy if you let him suck on your titties.”

Brett could always get chicks to do whatever he wanted. But I never knew it was literally as easy as issuing a command to them. In this case the command didn’t even involve him and she still did exactly what he said. With a cute little smile she looked at me and said, “Do you want to suck on these?” And she untied her bikini top.

I looked at Brett and he said, “Why are you looking at me, faggot? There’s a naked woman asking you to suck her titties.”

I don’t know why I was looking at him. He was right. There was something a little impersonal about sucking a girl’s tits without kissing her first, so I kissed her for a few minutes and just grabbed her tits. Once I got a hard-on I started getting creeped out by being in the same water that Brett was going to be fucking his chick in so I said, “You want to take this to a bedroom?”

She said, “Okay.”

We went to one of the downstairs guest rooms. Before I could even turn on the light and pull back the covers on the bed, she had taken off her bottoms so she was completely naked, and she jumped on top of me.

She said, “I want you to fuck me in this house.”

I said, “Okay,” even though that seemed a little weird. I knew she would rather be fucking Brett and was probably just going to fuck me because she thought it might eventually give her a chance to fuck Brett, but the fact that his house turned her on was strange to me.

She took off my shorts and started sucking my dick. She was pretty good. Not as good as Heather, didn’t have the same lip strength, but pretty good. As she sucked my dick, I started thinking about Heather. I realized I wasn’t mad at her anymore, I just wanted her back. I wanted this girl, Jenna, to be Heather. I was such a fucking retard. While this hot chick was sucking my cock I actually said, “Excuse me, can I ask you something?”

She stopped and said, “What?”

I said, “Do you know Heather Andruss?”

She said, “Yeah, why?”

“Is she dating anyone?”

“I don’t know. Why are you asking this?”

“I’m her ex-boyfriend. I was just curious.” I could feel my dick going limp. So could she.

She let go of it and said, “I know you’re her ex-boyfriend, and as weird as this may sound, it’s actually kind of sweet that you’re asking about her while you’re getting a blowjob from another girl.” She came up from my dick region and kissed me on the cheek, then she lay down next to me.

She said, “I know you guys were a thing for a while, right—like a year or something?”

“Yeah.”

“Heather told us about you guys breaking up. I’m sorry about that.”

“Thanks. Um, is this weird for you at all? I mean having sex with one of your sorority sister’s ex-boyfriends?”

“Are you kidding?”

“No. You don’t think she’ll be mad at you?”

“I’m fucking Brett Keller’s best friend. Of all the people in our house she should be able to understand that.”

And in that moment I had my first brief realization that the entire year we spent together might have just been because of Brett, but I ignored it.

I said, “She cheated on me, you know.”

“Yeah. Not to put myself down or sound crude or anything, but she’s in a sorority—it was bound to happen. That’s why I don’t have a boyfriend and I’m not going to have one until my junior year. Just not worth the headache. If I had a boyfriend, for example, I wouldn’t be at Brett Keller’s house trying to fuck his best friend.”

She put her hand on my cock and started jerking it a little. I said, “The only reason you’re doing this is because I’m Brett’s friend, right?”

“The only reason you want to fuck me is to get back at Heather, right?”

“Well, you’re also a really hot chick and, not to sound crude or anything, I kind of want to fuck you just because you’re hot.”

She laughed and then started sucking my dick again. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about Heather, but I couldn’t get her out of my head. So I looked down at Jenna while she sucked my dick. She was incredibly hot and even though she wasn’t as good at sucking dick as Heather was, her eyes made up for it while she was doing it. She looked like she really loved sucking dick, like a porn actress.

It was a weird time to be making any kind of decision, but in the few minutes she had her lips around my dick I had come to the conclusion that I had to fuck this girl. Brett was right—fucking her was something I needed to do to move on. So I reached over to the nightstand and opened the little drawer that I knew Brett always kept full of rubbers. I got one out and handed it down to her. She put it on with her fucking mouth. This was something she had obviously practiced.

Then she rolled off of me onto her back, spread her legs, and said, “Fuck me.”

So I did. I fucked Jenna for around thirty minutes, in pretty much every position I could think of. I wanted it to be filthy and impersonal and everything sex with Heather wasn’t. When we were fucking doggy style and I couldn’t see her face, I pretended she was Heather and I fucked her harder than any girl I’d ever fucked. I think she came, but I wasn’t really paying enough attention to be completely sure.

After we finished we lay there for a few minutes. I didn’t want to talk. Having sex with Jenna didn’t really offer me the closure with Heather that I thought it would. I felt slightly numb. It was weird, I almost felt like I had cheated on Heather even though we were broken up.

She said, “Heather was a dumb bitch to give that up. Jesus Christ.”

I said nothing.

She said, “Thanks, seriously. I mean the girl who ends up with you is one lucky bitch.”

I said nothing.

She said, “Do you mind if I go back outside in the Jacuzzi?”

I said nothing.

She said, “Okay, I’m going to go. Thanks again. Maybe I’ll see you around school.”

Jenna left and went outside to the Jacuzzi where I assumed Brett was fucking the other girl. I further assumed that Jenna must have known what was going on out there and her urgency to get back to the Jacuzzi was based on her hope to get in on a three-way before Brett blew his load. For a split second I think I felt what Brett must feel about women every moment of his life.