The Letter (22 page)

It was in this gloomy atmosphere that Rick and Tina were shopping for a pram in Manchester. Tina had been badgering Rick to come with her to buy the pram for weeks. She felt it was something they should do together and he had finally agreed. He gripped her hand firmly as they battled through the crowded streets. A young man walking towards them accidentally knocked into Tina, causing her to stumble. Rick grabbed her elbow to steady her as he turned on the young man.

‘Oi, mate. Watch where you’re going.’

The stranger noticed Tina’s heavily pregnant state and immediately apologised profusely.

‘I’m so sorry, Miss,’ he touched Tina’s forearm gently. ‘Are you OK?’

Rick immediately let go of Tina and grabbed the young man by his lapels. ‘Don’t you touch my wife. Can’t you see she’s pregnant. She’s not interested in you and even if she wasn’t pregnant she’s married to me. I’m the only one allowed to touch her. Do you understand?’

The stranger held his palms aloft submissively.

‘Take it easy, squire. I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry I bumped into your wife, alright?’

Rick grunted and shoved him against the wall.

Tina stood cowering, trying to blend in with the small crowd that had gathered. Rick sought her out and grabbed her by the hand. ‘Come on, love.’ He turned to the curious bystanders. ‘Show’s over folks, now bugger off.’

He strode off dragging Tina behind him.

‘Jesus, Rick. What was that all about?’

‘Don’t tell me you didn’t notice? That clown was all over you. The way he looked at you. And you nearly nine months pregnant. It was sick.’

Tina sighed. She knew Rick was convinced that every man she came into contact with was trying to get her into bed. Part of her was pleased that he was so protective of her. It showed how much he loved her. He was breathing heavily now, a combination of his anger and the quick pace at which they were travelling. Tina had to run to keep up with him.

‘It’s no good.’ He stopped and took a deep breath. ‘I can’t go shopping now, I’m too wound up.’

‘Rick, please. Don’t spoil things. I’ve been looking forward to this for ages.’

He pointed to a pub over the road. ‘Why don’t we nip in there for a quick drink and a bite to eat?’

She hesitated. She knew it was a bad idea, but she desperately wanted to buy the pram today. After some lunch and some quiet time together, maybe he would have calmed down.

‘Alright then, but not for too long.’

He perked up and took hold of her hand. ‘Lovely. Come on then.’

He skipped across the road, expertly dodging the traffic as he pulled Tina along in his wake.

That evening Rick lay on the sofa in a foul mood. The electricity had been cut again and they sat in silence surrounded by candles. Needless to say, the pub lunch had turned out not to be such a good idea. After several pints, she had managed to coax him back on to the streets. He was in a belligerent and argumentative mood and had no interest in shopping for prams. Tina suggested they should get the bus home and Rick had readily agreed, but not before making an extravagant purchase of his own. That purchase was now sitting in its box in the middle of their lounge, completely redundant.

‘Bloody Government! Who do they think they are, cutting off our power like this?’

‘I’m sure if they had known you were going to buy a colour television today they would have made an exception.’

Tina was silently fuming. A colour television for God’s sake! What was wrong with their old rented black and white one? That was the pram money gone. Tina knew there was still money left from the National win but Rick had put it where she couldn’t get her hands on it. She sighed and struggled to her feet. ‘Do you want a brew?’

Rick looked at her in disbelief. ‘Are you trying to be funny?’

Tina realised her mistake and sat back down. ‘I forgot.’

‘We’re sat here in near-darkness and you
forgot
the power was off?’

‘Just leave it, Rick, please. I’m not in the mood for an argument.’

He sidled over to her on the couch and whispered in her ear. ‘You know what I’m in the mood for?’

Tina’s heart missed a beat. ‘Rick, please. Look at the state of me. I’m huge.’

He slipped his hand inside her blouse and cupped her breast clumsily.

‘So are these.’

He nuzzled into her neck and bit on her ear painfully. She turned to him to ask him to stop, but he closed his mouth round hers and parted her lips with his tongue. Tina forced herself to relax so as not to incur his wrath and managed not to recoil as he shifted his weight on top of her.

The next day, the power was back on and Rick unpacked the television from its box. When he switched it on the images bloomed the screen in a kaleidoscope of colour. Everybody seemed to have an orange glow and Tina thought the old black and white screen was much more natural. Rick was pleased, however, and he fiddled with the knobs, adjusting the contrast and brightness until he was satisfied he had the perfect picture.

He stood back and admired his new toy. ‘Look at that picture,’ he proclaimed. ‘It’s so sharp. Hey, it’s so good I’ll get dust in my eyes when I watch a Western!’

He laughed at his own joke and continued to flick through the three channels.

‘Hey, pass us that
Radio Times
would you, love.’

Tina picked up the double issue with its promise of fabulous festive viewing,
Morecambe and Wise, Mike Yarwood, The Black and White Minstrel Show.
The irony of watching this last show on the new
colour
television was not lost on Tina. She flung the magazine across the floor and Rick scooped it up. He was oblivious to her bad mood.

‘When do you think we can go for the pram?’ she ventured.

‘You’re not still going on about that are you? Let’s just sit back and enjoy our new telly. We can go next week.’

Tina rubbed her belly. ‘The baby might be here by then.’

Rick stopped scouring the
Radio Times
and digested this. ‘Bloody hell! You’re right. We had better enjoy ourselves while we can. Fetch us a drink, will you?’

A couple of days later, Tina was in the charity shop when Graham entered.

‘When are you going to give this lot up, you must be about ready to drop.’

‘Morning, Graham. End of the month,’ replied Tina. ‘Can’t come soon enough.’

Tina eyed the battered pram in the corner. It had been donated to the shop some weeks ago and Tina had pitied the poor mother who would have no choice but to buy it because she could not afford a new one. Now, however, Tina was resigned to the fact that this rather ancient, battle-scarred pram would be the one into which she herself would lovingly place her longed-for baby. She began to lift out the piles of books that had been stored there. Graham rushed over. ‘Here, let me help you with those.’

He took a pile of books from her and laid them on the counter.

‘Why are you emptying it anyway? Does somebody want it?’ Graham ran his fingers over the dusty hood and grimaced at the ripped and shoddy interior. Tina looked away in embarrassment and moved some more books to the counter.

‘No,’ said Graham. ‘Please tell me you’re not having it?’

‘Oh, it’s not that bad really. A bit of Ajax on the inside and it will be like new.’

‘I thought you were going shopping for a new one.’

Tina scoffed. ‘We did. It’s a long story, but we came back with a colour telly instead.’

Graham shook his head and gripped the counter. He gritted his teeth and inhaled deeply.

Tina gently placed her hand on his shoulder.

‘Graham. It’s not your problem. I’m fine, honestly. The baby won’t need a pram for long anyway and that telly will last us for years.’

‘You are a saint, Tina. I don’t know how you put up with him.’

She shrugged. ‘I love him, Graham. I know I have every reason to hate him, but I can’t. He hasn’t been too bad since…’ She instinctively raised her hand to her cheek.

‘Since what? Has he hit you again, Tina?’

She leapt to Rick’s defence. ‘No, of course not. Everything’s fine. We’re just both really excited about the baby.’

Graham looked doubtful.

‘Look, I know you mean well, but I have to make this work. I don’t want you to think I’m weak. I know what I’m doing. I can’t bring a baby up on my own, you know, and I’m sure Rick will be a great father. If I thought for one second that he would harm the baby, then believe me I would go. I don’t know where, but I wouldn’t risk my own child’s safety. You have to trust me, Graham.’

Tina closed the shop early and prepared for the long walk home with the pram. She thrust the shop keys into her pocket and cursed herself again for coming out without her handbag. Walking along the streets, with the rain glistening on the pavement, she was glad the power was on.

The pram was not that bad really. It still had plenty of suspension and all the bumps and cracks in the pavement were absorbed by the large wheels. She wondered about all the babies who had been pushed in this pram in its previous life. She suddenly felt alive as she proudly pushed it through the streets. In a couple of weeks she would be pushing her very own baby and strangers would smile fondly and ask if they could have a peep. She would peel back the covers to reveal the most beautiful baby anybody had ever seen. Rick would wheel the pram proudly round the depot and all the other drivers and conductors would gather round and admire their adorable child. They would all agree that they had never seen such a delightful baby. With these thoughts and scenarios going round in her head, Tina was surprised to find herself in her street so soon. It didn’t seem as far when you were pushing a pram. She left it on the doorstep as she entered the hall and called out to Rick.

‘Rick, come and see what I’ve got.’

She pulled off her soaking coat and hung it up on the peg. ‘Rick? Where are you?’

She went into the kitchen and saw Rick staring out of the window. ‘There you are. Didn’t you hear me come in? I’ve got a pram. It’s only second-hand but it’s nice to push and once it’s cleaned up it will be…’ She stopped abruptly as Rick turned towards her. His face was thunderous and he was seething with every sinew. He had something in his hands, a piece of paper, one that Tina recognised.

‘I had a headache,’ Rick began slowly, struggling to keep the anger from his voice. ‘I couldn’t find any tablets in the cupboard and then I noticed you had left your handbag on the kitchen table. There weren’t any tablets in there either, but I found this.’ He held Billy’s letter aloft and a feeling of dread settled into the pit of Tina’s stomach.

‘Well,
Christina.’
He emphasised her full name. ‘When were you going to tell me about this Billy?’ Tina was frantic. ‘God, Rick, you’ve got this all wrong. That letter is not to me. Look at the date for God’s sake.’

But Rick wasn’t listening. His wife was pregnant with someone else’s child and they would all pay. He lunged forward and caught hold of Tina’s long dark hair. She screamed in fright, but he slapped her savagely across the face and then with his fist clenched tight thrust it into her swollen stomach. Tina gasped and doubled over in pain as she fell to the floor. The last thing she remembered seeing was the old, faded photo of Billy Stirling which had fluttered from the letter onto the floor.

‘You’ve got this all wrong,’ she said over and over again. There was no-one there to hear her. She heard the front door slam as she tried to struggle to her feet. Then she felt a warm sensation between her legs.

‘The baby,’ she whispered. And then she passed out.

Chapter 22

Rick thundered down the street in a blind fury. The rain flattened his dark hair so that it clung to his face. In his haste he had not put a coat on and his soaking wet shirt clung to his skin. Spittle flew from the edges of his mouth as he strode relentlessly down the road, Billy’s letter clutched in his right hand. He spotted a bus coming down the road and held out his hand even though he was nowhere near the bus stop. The bus slowed down a little, but did not stop altogether. It made no difference to Rick. He simply caught hold of the silver pole and expertly swung himself aboard. The conductor was taken by surprise.

‘Oi, you can’t just hop on and…’ The conductor stopped as he recognised Rick in spite of his dishevelled state. ‘Oh, it’s you. Where are you going in such a hurry?’

‘Gillbent Road, Frank.’ He pushed past and slumped down in the nearest seat. ‘Now leave me alone.’

By the time the bus had dropped him at Gillbent Road and Rick had found number 180, he had worked himself into a state of complete apoplexy. He badly needed a drink. He rapped on the door with his fist and waited impatiently. He rapped again two seconds later and this time shouted as well.

‘I know all about you, Billy. Come on out here now and face me like a man.’

He rapped on the door again and this time he could hear movement inside. Slowly the door was inched open and Alice Stirling looked up at Rick. ‘What a racket. Give me chance to get to the door, won’t you?’

Rick was more than a little surprised to see the old lady but he pushed past her roughly and entered the small sitting room. ‘Where is he?’

‘Who?’ asked Alice. ‘My husband?’

Rick looked Alice up and down and scoffed. ‘I don’t think so. Billy. Is he your son?’

Alice stiffened. ‘Who wants to know?’

Rick caught hold of her elbow. ‘Don’t play games with me. I know he lives here and I know he’s been shagging my wife.’

Alice bristled. ‘He’d have a job. He’s been dead for over thirty years.’

This stopped Rick in his tracks. ‘What did you say?’

Alice stared Rick in the eye. ‘Look, I don’t know who you are, but I’m not scared of you. You can’t just come barging in here accusing my Billy of all kinds. Like I said, he’s dead. He died during the war in 1940.’

Rick slumped into one of the armchairs by the fireside without invitation.

‘Be my guest,’ said Alice, sarcastically.

He slowly unfurled the letter he had been clutching since he left home and began to read it properly for the first time. When he had finished he held his head in his hands.