The Legacy (42 page)

As we eat, we spend the time reconnecting, each of us
sharing the fears that have plagued us, as well as the peace we
now feel. We know everything will be fine and somehow Phillip
will be brought back to us. We treasure this time of talking
everything out and giving support and comfort.

I marvel at how wonderful it feels to share my feelings
with my husband instead of keeping everything bottled up
inside. Why have I waited so long? Why had I let my fear get
the better of me and needlessly waste so much time?

There is nothing I can do about what is past, but this will
never happen again. I won't let it.
Pretty soon we both have our fill of the food. Adagio
follows me to the kitchen and helps me put the leftovers away.
Then we slip back into bed and talk more.

Remembering his stop earlier, Adagio reaches over his
side of the bed and pulls a small velvet box from his jean
pocket.

“I have something for you,
amore
.” He hands Cisely the
box. “I know we celebrated our anniversary a couple of months
ago, but I wanted to get this for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” she says, her eyes moist.
“I've missed out on so many things with you, but you never
stopped thinking about me. I’m so sorry for what I put you
through. I was so unfair to you and you didn’t give up on me.”

“Don't be sorry. I am just happy to have you back. And I
could never give up on you. You are a part of me, Cisely.” He
wipes her tears and looks at the box. “When I saw this in the
store window earlier, I just wanted you to have it.”

She smiles. “I promise I will make everything up to you.”
“You already have. Being with you like this has given me
more joy than I can possibly express. Just being able to touch
you again and express my love for you is enough.”

She leans over and kisses him before opening the box.
Her vision blurs as she gazes at the beautiful diamond eternity
band. Looking into her husband’s eyes, she understands why he
bought it and what he is saying by giving it to her. She fully
absorbs the ring’s meaning and all that it symbolizes.

Adagio takes it from the box and slips it on her finger
with her wedding rings.
“It’s very beautiful,” she whispers.
He smiles. “You and I are forever, angel.”
She nods, touching her fingers to his lips. “Thank you for
being so good to me.”
“Always.” He pulls her close and passionately captures
her mouth with his again, reigniting the fiery need between
them that can only be assuaged by their mutual love.

In the quiet darkness, I lay nestled in Adagio’s arms,
mentally tallying the blessings that have come from this trial.
Before this, I never had extended family I could be close to
besides Velma. Now, I am developing a relationship with my
uncle and aunt, and I'm beginning to know them better than I
ever have. I consider that a miracle in itself, and I continue to
keep a prayer in her heart for a second miracle.

By November, the weather turns cold and I find myself
having to readjust to the frigid winter of North Carolina after
being spoiled for years by the mildness of Italy. I miss our
home in Treviso, and I long for our family to be whole again
soon so we can go back. But I also accept that for now, this is
home.

Thanksgiving is in a couple of weeks, but it is hard to get
in the spirit of the holidays. We recognize all we have and are
grateful, but without Phillip with us, the holidays just can’t be
the same and the sadness lingers.

Occasionally
I look
through
the
dresser
drawers
at
Phillip’s things, overwhelmed by his absence. Sometimes I stare
at his photo and hug his clothes to me, trying to find comfort,
desperately wanting to hold him in my arms. I long to feel his
small arms around my neck and ache to have him give me one
of his affectionate kisses that always brightens my day. Adagio
sits with me during these times and we talk about our son and
some of the things he does to make us laugh or smile. Though
the ache is always there, having each other to lean on helps us
cope with Phillip’s absence.

With practice, I have become very good at being cheerful
around Ingo. We've even managed to get him excited about the
upcoming holiday, which helps to lift our own spirits a little
more. Though it's an American holiday, I've always insisted that
we celebrate Thanksgiving, and everyone in our family enjoys
it. The boys always look forward to me making lots of treats,
some of them American and some Italian. And except for
Phillip’s absence, this year will be no different. After all, we still
have much to be grateful for.

On the Monday before Thanksgiving,
Adagio and I take
the whole family out to dinner. Velma and Ted dine with us, as
well as my uncle and aunt. We all meet at the restaurant and
enjoy a wonderful evening together. I am experiencing a little
fatigue, but it doesn’t keep me from enjoying myself. I love
listening to Pete’s stories about his childhood with my mother
and the things they did together. He carries a photograph of the
two of them as teenagers in his wallet.

Adagio and Jessica examined the photo and comment on
how much I favor my mother. Since I've never seen a picture
of my mother when she was younger until tonight, I am also
surprised at the resemblance.

Pete.
“She was a looker in her younger days,” Pete agrees,
rubbing his bearded chin. “Even the years of drinking didn’t
diminish her looks like with most alcoholics.”
I silently agree. Most of the alcoholics I've seen look
worn and much older than they are. But Geneva Matthews
never looked a day over thirty.
“Yeah, she was definitely beautiful,” Pete says, looking at
the photo once more before returning it to his wallet.
“Like mother, like daughter,” Adagio whispers, smiling
lovingly at me. I smile back, squeezing his hand under the table.
I turn my attention back to Pete as he tells us more about his
and Geneva’s experiences growing up. Though he doesn’t go
into much detail because of Ingo being present, he says it was
hard growing up with two alcoholic parents. Their childhood
was difficult, but they handled things the best they could.
I can definitely relate and understand. I knew alcoholism
was the reason my grandparents died so young, and it saddens
me that the pattern continued through my own mother, as well
as Velma’s. But I'm also grateful Velma and I have broken the
pattern. We chose a better path. And I hope every day for the
strength to stay on that path.
Somehow the conversation steers clear of Gladys and her
name is never mentioned, which is fine with everyone. The last
thing we want is to add more gloom to the sadness already
present. It has truly turned out to be a great evening, one that I
will always treasure.

This morning, I awaken experiencing more nausea than
I have ever felt in my life. I have only been sitting up for a
moment before I immediately run to the bathroom and lose the
food I ate last night.

Adagio appears at my side, rubbing my back. “Are you all
right, baby?” he asks, concern etching his face.
“I think so.” A sense of melancholy fills me, despite how
sick I feel. “But I think I need to lie back down.” I rinse and
splash cold water on my face before heading back into the
bedroom.
When I am settled in bed again, Adagio slips under the
covers next to me. Resting my head against his chest, he holds
me close, and so many thoughts tumble through my head. I am
pretty sure I'm pregnant and the thought brings great comfort
to me, especially now when I need it most. Though it does
puzzle me a bit that I'm feeling sick so soon. In the past I was
usually further along than I or the doctor suspected, but this
time I know I can’t be because of the month we hadn’t made
love. Unless it happened before Phillip's kidnapping. Some
women are pregnant for months before showing the usual
signs. Maybe it has happened to me this time.
Adjusting my head a little to look up at him, I ask,
“Would you mind getting me a piece of toast and maybe a
small glass of juice?”
“Not at all,
amore
.” Adagio sits up and pulls on a pair of
sweat pants, then he stops. He turns and looks at me, his eyes
full of wonder. “Cisely?” When I smile, he knows there is no
need to finish the question. Instead he asks, “Would you like
me to make a trip to the store, too?”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
He leans over to kiss me. “I love you.”
“And I love you.”
He grins and I chuckle. Dressing quickly, he brings me
the toast and juice. Then making sure I have everything I need,
he grabs the car keys and leaves.
Twenty minutes later we both laugh and cry as we
examine the positive test result. Adagio hugs me tightly and
happiness fills a part the empty space in my heart.

Dublin, Georgia
Sadie enters the house and find Gladys passed out in the
chair as usual. She never bothers to enter quietly because
Gladys usually sleeps so hard, no amount of noise ever wakes
her up. Sadie stands for a moment looking at the grossly
overweight woman and her contempt grows.
She is tired of this whole situation and wants her home
back. She's fed up with having to pick up after this woman, and
tired of spending her entire shift every day worrying about the
little boy in the back room. Each time she leaves the house,
Sadie prays he will be all right until she gets back. Gladys is
supposed to be his grandmother, but she acts like he doesn’t
even exist most of the time. And Sadie wonders what kind of
mother would just dump her child off on someone and leave, if
that’s what really happened.
Taking her purse and coat to her room, she hurries to
check
on
Michael.
Thoughts
of
him have
consumed her
throughout the day and she couldn’t get home fast enough,
needing to make sure he was okay. She muses over how
motherly she has become. How has she become so attached to
this child? He’s never spoken, yet she can feel his sadness. She
can see it in his eyes, and she would give anything to see him
smile, just once.
When Sadie reaches the bedroom, she cracks the door
open slightly and freezes, unable believe what she is seeing. The
sight she beholds is as much of a shock as a surprise, and it
immediately brings tears to her eyes.
This sweet boy is on his knees with his head bowed,
praying softly. It is the first time she has heard him speak. His
voice is so soft, so innocent and pure. Sadie covers her mouth
with her hand, trying to muffle a sob. She knows absolutely
nothing about this child, yet he has ingrained himself in her
heart even more with this innocent act.
When she sniffles softly, the boy looks up and jumps to
his feet. He crawls back on the bed, backing into the corner.
“It’s okay, Michael.” she says, hating that she’d frightened
him. The last thing she wants to do is scare him into silence
again. “It’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you. I would never
hurt you.” She slowly moves toward him and kneels by the side
of the bed. “I want to be your friend.”