The Lawson Boys: Marty (26 page)

“You can trust
me.”

“I don’t know
you!”

“So get to know
me.”

“I don’t know
if I want to.”

That startled
him. “You don’t? Why not?”

“Because you
could hurt me like he did.”

“But I
wouldn’t.”

“I don’t know
that.”

“So get to know
me.”

They were going
around in circles. “This is hopeless.”

“No, it’s not,”
he said.

Taking a deep
breath, Belle exhaled slowly. “I need space.”

“Jesus, Belle,
seriously? Now?”

“Yes. Where are
you staying?”

“We can’t just
stop talking now.”

She started the
car.

“Belle, for
goodness sake, just-”

“Marty!” She
hadn’t meant to speak so loudly, but it was enough to stop him
mid-sentence. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I need to think and I can’t
do it with you here.” Not with him beside her, sucking her into his
protective, sexy, oh-so-yummy zone, making her horny and want to
cry all at once, clouding her thoughts and igniting her fears.

In fact, she
didn’t have a bloody clue what she was doing, but she knew she had
to be alone to do any thinking at all. Too much was happening too
soon. She felt equal parts fool and bitch for the way she was
behaving, but she was totally confused, especially after what he’d
said.

Marty was quiet
while she pulled back out onto the road before finally giving her
the address of the flats he was staying at, his tone low. When she
glanced sideways at him, his expression was set, the silhouette of
his face as he looked out the side window the only thing she could
see.

The drive was
done in silence and when she pulled up outside the flats, he opened
the door and sat for a few seconds with one leg out the door and
his foot braced on the ground.

In a sudden
swift move, he turned, hooked a hand around her nape and drew her
in for a surprisingly soft, quick kiss before releasing her to look
steadily into her eyes. “If you figure out what you want, you know
where to find me.” And then he was gone, the door shutting behind
him, his tall, muscular figure moving across the car park and
straight through an open door to vanish into the room beyond.

Numb, Belle
drove home. His car still sat on the verge. With a sigh, she went
inside to sit at the kitchen counter, sipping on a glass of water
and staring unseeingly through the window at the garden. Her
thoughts whirled in her head, her feelings a riot of emotions that
left her twisted in knots.

The phone rang
but she didn’t pick it up. It rang out, then her mobile started and
rang out. After awhile her phone rang again and with a sigh she
picked it up. “Hello?”

“Belle? How’d
your date go?”

“It wasn’t a
date, Holly.”

“It was
something!”

“It was…”

“It was what?”
Holly’s voice sharpened. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. You
talk to me, girl, or I’m coming over. With Mrs Mixen.”

“You’d threaten
me with Mrs Mixen?” Belle gave a teary laugh.

“You’re
crying.”

“No.” Belle
sniffed. “No, I’m not. Seriously.”

“What
happened?”

“I just made a
fool of myself again.”

“Not telling me
anything. What else?”

Before Belle
knew it, she’d recounted the whole episode, every humiliating
bit.

“Oh for…Belle!”
Holly sounded exasperated. “When are you going to take charge of
your life?”

“What?”
Surprised, she stared at the phone before returning it to her ear.
“What do you mean?”

“You’re not a
virgin anymore, get over it. Do you think any less of every other
girl that got her cherry popped?”

“Of course
not-”

“Has it changed
who you are?”

“Well, no,
but-”

“Are you going
to forever be pushing every man attracted to you aside just because
you’re mourning that stupid bit of hymen?”

Stung, Belle
snapped back, “It’s not just that!”

“Then what?
Because I’m not hearing anything to credibly support this wall
you’re putting up. Talk about self-sabotage.”

“Sorry I
bothered you,” Belle retorted. “How about I hang up?”

“How about I
come over and boot your arse?” There was stunned silence between
them, Belle not believing what she was hearing, and then Holly gave
a little cough. “Or I come over and just nudge your arse?”

Belle gave a
weak laugh, the absurdity of it all hitting her.

“Right.” Holly
adopted a brisk, no-nonsense tone. “Explain to me why you’re being
such a bitch about all this.”

“Oh, I’m
not-”

“You are. A
perfectly lovely man who is attracted to you jumps your bones,
treats you like a queen, and you keep fighting everything nice he
throws your way. Bitch.”

Belle sighed.
“I thought best friends were supposed to support each other?”

“We’re also
supposed to stop each other from doing stupid things.”

Belle was
silent for a few seconds before saying slowly, “You think I’m being
stupid?”

“And a bitch.
Don’t forget that.”

“I resent that.
I don’t believe I’m being a bitch.”

“Why are you so
mean to Marty, then? What did he ever do to you that called for
such treatment, huh?”

Belle bit her
lip. “Um…”

“Yeah? You tell
me. Oh, here are some bad things. He bought you orchids, he rocked
your world, he stood up for you against the photographer, he took
you out for a nice dinner at the pub, he poured your sodden,
drunken body into bed without taking advantage of you or posting
photos on the internet, and then he was concerned enough to come
halfway across the state to check if you were okay, and oh, here’s
the clincher, he says he wants to get to know you better.” Holly
paused long enough to draw breath. “Did I miss anything?”

“No.” Belle’s
voice was as small as she felt.

“So you tell me
why you’re so mean to him.”

“Um…I’m
fat?”

“
What?
”

“How could
someone like him be interested in someone like me and-”

“I am not
bloody hearing this shit! I am
not!
” The sound of a hand
banging against the receiver had Belle wincing and holding it away
from her ear. Hello?” Holly yelled into the phone. “Can anyone with
a shred of decency and brains hear me now? Hello?”

“Geez, Holly,
put a sock in it.”

“I’ll put a
sock in you in a minute. Belle Broune, you quit talking shit and
tell me
right now
what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Um…” Belle
sniffled.

“Don’t you
start bawling on me,” Holly warned. “Speak up.”

Cripes, her
friend knew how to hit where it hurt, and where it counted. “Fine!”
Belle burst out. “I don’t want to be hurt again!”

“How can you
get hurt if you don’t know the man?”

“Because he
could hurt me.”

“No, he can’t.
You’re just getting to know him.”

“But he -he -
“

“Yeah? What? He
what?”

“He’s growing
on me!”

There was split
silence for a second, then, “What?”

“He’s bloody
growing on me.” Belle swiped at a tear that trickled down her
cheek. “He’s so nice, and so calm, and I feel all protected around
him and I don’t want to get to know him better in case he walks
away and I don’t get over him!”

There was
silence for a second more before Holly said, “Wow.”

Plucking tissue
from the box, Belle mopped up more tears. “ Can’t believe I just
said that.”

“Nor can I,”
Holly agreed.

“Trevor hurt
me, but Marty would
really
hurt me.”

“Okay.” Holly
waited.

“I thought
Trevor was special, but…” Belle mopped up more tears. “ I see now
that he wasn’t so special. I know that because…”

“Because?”
Holly prodded.

“Because I
think Marty is special.”

“You
think?”

“Oh my God,
you’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

“You bet your
arse.”

“Fine. He’s
special, all right? I’ve only known him a short time but he’s
special
.”

“Aren’t you
glad you said it?”

Belle blew her
nose in reply.

“Belle,” Holly
said gently. “Marty’s special to you. It doesn’t have to make sense
how it could happen in such a short time. It just did. Now is he
special enough to take a chance on?”

“I don’t
know.”

“You do. Don’t
talk shit.”

“I guess
so.”

“I am so going
to come over and kick your-”

“I don’t want
to get hurt.”

“Stop thinking
about yourself for once.”

“What?”

“He’s putting
himself out on a limb trying to get you to meet him halfway. Think
how he’s feeling.”

“I don’t know
how he’s feeling.”

“So get to know
him and you will know how he’s feeling.”

Belle groaned.
“I feel like I’m in the middle of Groundhog Day.”

“Huh?”

“Marty said to
get to know him.”

“So what’s your
problem?”

“I don’t want
to get hurt, Holly, I told you that!”

“For God’s
sake, Belle, it’ll hurt a lot worse if you just kick him away.”

“Not as
much.”

“Really,
Belle?” Holly asked with heavy irony. “You could watch him walk
away right now and live quite contentedly with the knowledge that
you never gave the best thing that walked into your life a chance
to be something more?”

Remembering how
silent Marty was, his normally cheerful teasing and naughty
innuendos subdued beneath her rejection, Belle shrivelled inside.
Oh geez, she hadn’t spared a thought for his feelings. It had all
been about her.

“I’ll phone you
again in a few minutes,” Holly said. “Give you some time to think.
And you better answer your phone, Belle. Okay?”

“Yeah.” When
Holly hung up, Belle replaced the phone and rubbed her
forehead.

Fear of
rejection was holding her back, but if she let that fear rule her,
if she let Marty walk away without even attempting to get to know
him… She felt sick. Could she do it? Could she let him walk away?
Could she live with herself?

Could she give
them a chance?

The answer beat
inside her, shifting and rising.

The phone rang
and when she answered it, Holly asked, “Well?”

~*~

The door of the
flat opened and a man Belle vaguely remembered looked out at her.
“Hello.”

“Um, I was
wondering if Marty was here?”

“You’re
Belle.”

“And you’re…I’m
sorry, I don’t remember your name.”

“Alan.” He
stepped back. “You better come inside. Marty’s here.”

He held the
door open for her and she brushed past him straight into a lounge
room. It was well lit by the sunlight coming through the partially
open glass sliding doors on the other side of the room, so she
didn’t have to wait for her vision to adjust to see Marty pushing
himself up out of the big armchair in which he’d been sitting.

The tiny poodle
at his feet also stood up, her one eye bright and inquiring, the
scar pulling her lip up on the ruined side of her face. The pink
ribbon in her topknot would have looked ridiculous expect she
somehow retained that girly look, scars and all. It was helped by
her pink collar with the little diamantes catching the light and
her diminutive size.

Marty looked
across the room at her but didn’t move forward. “Belle.”

Okay, this was
going to be as hard as she feared. “I came to talk to you.”

Marty’s gaze
flicked behind her.

“Oh sure,” Alan
said. “How about I give you some privacy?”

Marty nodded.
“Appreciated.”

Alan sighed.
“Come on, Sugar, walkies. Again.”

Sugar pranced
over to him, wriggling excitedly while he clipped the bright pink
lead to her collar. Alan slapped on a cap, gave Belle a smile and
left the flat with one last parting shot at Marty. “You owe me
big
.” The door shut behind him and Belle was left alone with
Marty.

He continued to
watch her.

“This is…”
Rubbing trembling fingers on her pants, she wished he’d say
something to make it easier.

Obviously the
ball was in her court because he didn’t so much as lift an eyebrow.
Even the usual rebellious hank of blonde hair stayed strictly in
place atop his head, not daring to flop down over his brow. In
fact, Marty looked cool, calm, assured. Watchful. She could just
about see him standing in a meeting, studying his opponent with
sharp intensity. Yeah, she could picture that, all right. He might
be standing across from her in jeans and t-shirt instead of a suit
and tie, but the air of controlled calmness was well practiced and
fit him just as easily and comfortably as his humorous, teasing
side.

“Marty,” she
began, “I’ve been thinking about what you said. I...” Intensely
aware of his steady regard, she nervously rubbed the back of her
neck. “This is not easy.”

“No one ever
said it would be,” he replied quietly.

“You could make
it a little easier.”

“You’re the one
with the problem, Belle. I can’t make it easier if you can’t face
it.”

“You must be
lethal in a takeover.’

“I am.” The
honest reply surprised her.

“Great.”

He waited.

Anger sparked.
“Are you enjoying this?”

“No. I’m
waiting.”

“I’m not going
to crawl.”

The only sign
that he took umbrage to this was a tightening of his jaw. “I never
asked you to crawl.”

“But you stand
there and say nothing…” Stumbling to a halt, Belle knew immediately
what she was doing and shame washed through her. “I’m sorry. You
already said everything you had to say.”

He nodded.

“So now it’s my
turn.”

He nodded
again.