The Lawson Boys: Marty

The Lawson
Boys: Marty

By Angela
Verdenius

(The Lawson
Boys book 2)

Smashwords
Edition

Copyright 2012
Angela Verdenius

Cover image
courtesy of Manu1174 &
istock.com

Cover by
Joleene Naylor

Smashwords
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I found that
some overseas readers were having difficulty with the Australian
slang, so I thought a list of the slang I’ve used will help while
reading the following story. If I’ve forgotten any, I do apologise!
Also, you’ll find some of our Aussie words have different spelling
to the US.

* please note
that sizes in the US and Australia differ, so when reading of a set
dress size, check the conversion on-line if you want!

Cheers,

Angela

Australian
Terms/Slang

Barbie
-
BBQ

Beaut
-
beautiful, awesome, great, wonderful

Biccies
- biscuits. The same as cookies

Bikie
-
biker, person who rides motorcycles.

Bloke/s
- man/men

Bloody
-
a swear word ‘no bloody good’, in place of ‘no damned good’

Boofhead
- idiot, simpleton, etc. It’s an insult, though sometimes we use it
as a term of affection. It depends on how it is said and meant.

Boot (of a
car)
- trunk

Budgie
smugglers
- men’s bathers, small, brief and tight-fitting

Buggered
- many Aussie use it as a slang word for ‘broken’ (it’s buggered),
‘tired (I’m buggered), and ‘no way’ (I’m buggered if I’m going to
do that). Just some examples

Chemist
- pharmacy

Chips
-
in Australia we have cold crunchy chips from a packet, or hot chips
known in some countries as French Fries

Crash
cart
- resuscitation trolley in a hospital or medical setting -
used for life threatening situations such as cardiac arrest

Dander
–
temper

Dill
-
silly, idiot

Donger
-
penis. Also another meaning is a place people sometimes sleep in,
such as ‘dongers’ on mine sites.

Giggle-box
- TV, television

Got
his/her/their goat
– annoyed him/her/them

Hoon/s
-
person/people who indulge in antisocial behaviour. Great
explanation in Wikipedia

Iced
coffee/chocolate
- a milk drink flavoured with chocolate or
coffee

Lolly
-
sweetie, candy

Lug
-
face

Milo
-
chocolate malt drink. Can have it hot or cold. Yummy!

Moosh
-
slang for face/mouth

Mobile
phone
- cell phone

Nooky
-
sex

Panadol
- paracetamol

PCYC
-
Police and Citizens Youth Club

Pedal
Pushers
- three quarter pants/knickerbockers

Primapore
- sticky patch with a pad in it, a medical
dressing

Pub
-
hotel

RAC
-
Royal Automobile Club of Western Australia. Covers insurance,
holidays, loans, etc

Servo
-
service station

Shag
-
sex

Sheila
-
female

Snaggers
- sausages

Soft
drink
- soda, fizzy drink

Tea
-
some people call the evening meal dinner. In my family, we’ve
always called it tea, as in breaky, dinner and tea, or breaky,
lunch and tea.

Tickled
pink
- delighted

Tim Tams
- a brand of Arnott’s Biscuits. Yummy!

TLC
-
Tender Loving Care

Torch
-
flashlight

Tucker
-
food

Ute -
small truck

Vegemite
- most Aussies find this spread yummy, many non-Aussies find it too
salty. Here’s the hint - if you ever have Vegemite, use it spread
thinly, never thickly!

Yamaha &
Suzuki
- ‘brands’ of motorcycles.

You
wally
- silly

Wanger
-
penis

Waterworks
- crying

Whopper
- a lie

Driving
- In Australia, you cannot get a driver’s licence to drive a car
until you are 17 years old. You get your Learner’s Permit (which
requires you to drive only in the company of a qualified driver),
then at 18 you can go for your Probationary licence (you can drive
on your own but at restricted speed limits), and then finally you
are a fully qualified driver.

Chapter 1

The wedding was
going well. The groom looked dashing, the bride looked beautiful,
the proud parents sat and watched fondly as their offspring
prepared to enter holy matrimony.

Marty Lawson
glanced sideways. Even better, his date looked hot. Dressed in a
silk red dress that clung to her slim figure, her bosom on
mouth-watering display and just barely grazing the decent mark for
a wedding, her elegant feet clad in red silk pumps, her expensive
accessories screaming money, Marcia was the epitome of hotness.

Having
personally experienced her hotness in bed, Marty grinned to
himself. Yep, after this wedding and the wedding dinner, he was
going to take this hotness home, unwrap her and indulge in some
not-quite deviant sex.

Obviously his
gaze must have been getting a little lustful, because the matron
sitting on the other side of Marcia leaned forward a fraction to
give him a disapproving glare. Marty smiled politely, crossed his
legs to hide a growing boner, and returned his attention to the
front.

Yep, his old
friend was another bachelor biting the dust. Getting the old ball
and chain. Tying himself for life to a beautiful woman who
apparently worshipped the ground upon which Trevor walked. That it
had actually come to this was a surprise. Marty had always thought
Trevor would whore his days away until he was buried six feet
under, the man had enjoyed his travels across the country and
through who knew how many well-known and not-so-well-known beds.
But look there, finally a woman had caught him and was making an
honest man of him. Who’d have thought it?

Now the
minister was asking if anyone had any issues with Trevor attaching
himself to Melissa and to speak now or forever hold their peace.
The bride and groom smiled at each other as the short silence
lingered, the minister smiled benevolently, the proud mothers
dabbed their eyes while the proud fathers smiled approvingly,
and-

“I have a
problem!” Someone declared loudly from the back of the church. “I
have a huge freakin’ problem!”

As one, every
person in the church turned and gaped at the woman storming down
the aisle.

Marty’s
eyebrows shot up almost into his hairline as he took in the
full-bodied woman striding angrily down the blue carpet. Dressed in
a summery dress, the cheerful yellow was at total odds with the
green eyes spitting fire, the red in her round cheeks, and the
cupid lips that furiously spat out, “You cheating bastard!”

Holy
cow!
Marty’s fascinated gaze shot back to Trevor. His friend
was whiter than his bride-to-be’s wedding gown. Shock was plastered
on both his face and Melissa’s, but Trevor’s held a huge amount of
guilt as well.

Oops. Looked
like Trevor’s sins had found him out, and most spectacularly. Not
cool on his part, true, but entertaining nevertheless.

A couple of the
men from the groom’s side stood up but none of them moved to
intercept the woman.

“Trevor!”
Melissa gaped from the woman storming up the aisle to her groom.
“What does she mean?”

“I don’t know.”
Closing his mouth, he swallowed hard, his desperate gaze flicking
from the advancing woman to Melissa.

“You know all
right!” The woman shoved aside one of the bridesmaids who’d decided
she should try to halt the advance.

The bridesmaid
staggered back and was caught by the matron of honour.

Trevor’s mother
flapped her hand while holding a handkerchief to her mouth, and his
father started forward. “Now listen here-”

By this time
the woman was right in Trevor’s face, ignoring the sputtering
minister, the bridal party and everyone else. “You lying turd!” she
almost screamed.

“Trevor!”
Melissa gasped.

“I don’t know
who you are-”Trevor began.

“You knew the
night you took my clothes off!” The woman shoved one finger against
his chest. “You told me I was the only one for you, that you loved
me, that-”

“This is
ridiculous!” Trevor took a step back onto Melissa’s train, tearing
it.

No one noticed
as they watched the proceedings unfold with a mixture of horror,
morbid fascination, and in the case of a couple of people,
amusement. One of those people was Marty.

“Ridiculous?”
the woman yelled, prodding Trevor in the chest.

“If you don’t
leave right now, I’ll call the police,” Trevor’s father
threatened.

“Wait a
minute.” Melissa’s father was also standing by this time. “I demand
an explanation, Trevor. Who is this woman to you?”

“No-one,”
Trevor insisted desperately. “I don’t know her, I-”

“My name is
Belle, you moron, as you very well know!” The woman grabbed his tie
and yanked him forward until they were almost nose-to-nose, which
was a feat considering that she was rather on the short side.
“Remember how you screamed it when
you took my virginity a week
ago
?”

Holy cow
again
. Marty’s mouth dropped open. The church filled with gasps
of rapt horror and glee. The gossip mill of high society would be
churning within half an hour or less. The editors of the gossip
columns would be having orgasms.

Melissa
fainted. The bridesmaids fluttered around her, Trevor’s father was
taking the mobile phone from his pocket, his mother was helplessly
flapping her hands, Melissa’s father was glaring at Trevor, and her
mother was glaring at the woman called Belle.

Trevor was
saying something quietly to the woman, speaking from between
clenched teeth.

“Now then.” The
minister made an attempt at being the voice of reason. “I think we
should discuss this in private and sort out what is happening.”

Belle and
Trevor ignored him. Trevor said something further to Belle and her
cheeks went even redder. Then she slapped him. Hard. The crack of
her hand against his cheek resounded through the fascinated silence
of the church. He actually rocked back on his well-shod heels with
the force of it.

Even Marty
winced.

“Oh my God,”
Marcia whispered in delighted horror.

“Don’t bother
to call the cops, I’m leaving.” Turning on her heel, Belle strode
down the aisle.

She was
breath-taking in her fury, or maybe it was just Marty’s lothario
side coming out and taking notice. Her bountiful bosom pressed
against the top of her dress, her brown, curly hair bounced against
her shoulders with every angry step she took, and her generous hips
swayed righteously. Shoulders back, head held high, she was the
very embodiment of why a man should never do wrong by a woman.
Revenge could be bloody awkward.

Those brilliant
green eyes met his briefly, raking across his face before once more
focussing forward.

Like everyone
else, Marty turned in his seat to watch her progress, admiration
filling him as she kept her head high. He found himself holding his
breath in anticipation as she stopped and whirled on one heel to
face the bridal party.

Hands on her
ample hips, she tossed her curls back over her shoulders and
announced loudly, “And if that night was proof of your so-called
prowess in bed, Trevor, let me tell you that you need lessons from
a hooker on how to satisfy a woman. I might have been a virgin, but
even I know when someone’s wanger isn’t up to par.” With that final
humiliating, parting shot, she swung around once more to cover the
remaining distance to the door in angry strides and disappear
outside.

Marty turned
back to see what was going to happen now. Trevor’s face was flushed
beet-red with embarrassment and fury and yep, Marty saw it as clear
as day, guilt. Trevor’s father was gripping the mobile phone so
tightly it was a wonder he didn’t break it in half, Melissa’s
father was demanding an explanation, her mother was comforting
Melissa who was leaning against the minister and sobbing, and
Trevor’s mother was loudly assuring Melissa it was all a
mistake.