The Last Testament: A Memoir (69 page)

Variety,
336

Vatican,
274
,
333

vernal equinox, new method of,
336

vestigial tails,
9

Vesuvius,
54

Victoria, Queen of England,
230

Victorian Era, God’s debauchery in,
291

Vietnam War,
139

virgins,
245

Voltaire,
254

Wailing Wall,
358

outburst of,
350

Walmart, children’s businesses displaced by,
342

Wampanoags,
137

Warhol, Andy,
232

War of 1821, as placed in wrong year,
62

War of the Spanish Succession,
230

Warren, Earl,
153

Washington Wizards,
157

water, turned into blood,
76
,
78
,
356

waters-division,
6

Webber, Andrew Lloyd,
47

web intitialisms, heaven vs. earth,
305
–6

“We Didn’t Start the Fire” (song),
299

Weekly Prayer Report,
296

werewolves,
260

West, Kanye,
91

West Virginia, mine explosion in,
352

Wicca,
253

Wii for Wii,
347

Wikipedia,
252

wild beasts,
75

Williams, Barry, death of,
347

Williams, Venus, planetary activities of,
334

Wine Spectator,
350

Winfrey, Oprah:

boost to economy by,
336

weight fluctuation of,
109

Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod,
221

Woods, Tiger, multiple adulteries of,
112

Woodstock,
107

Word-a-Day Calendar, apocalypse predicted in,
352

World War I, spineless cowards of,
136

World War II,
136

World Wide Web,
304

Wright, Frank Lloyd,
255

Wrigley Field,
345

Wyoming,
340

Xenu,
344

Yahapde tribe,
332

Yahweh, as God’s true name,
299

“Yakety Sax,”
350

yeti, nonexistence of,
146

yoga,
249

Yom Kippur,
98

You Just Gotta Love Christmas
(song),
164

Zach (H.G.),
166
,
168
,
174
,
185
,
186
–87,
193
,
195

as active partner in God’s business,
268

details of Armageddon worked out by,
329

God’s restraint urged by,
287

in intervention with God,
296

“Jesusism” disliked by,
204
–5

Jesus’s resurrection and,
202

as Justin Bieber, allegedly,
305

nickname given to,
167

personality of,
168

as proceeding from God,
289

reform of Christianity desired by,
275

Zebub, B. L., as up-and-coming tennis star,
346

Zebulun, Tribe of,
46

Zipporah,
93

Zodiac Killer, Jeane Dixon as,
144
–45

Zophar,
130

My Creation Weekly Planner. Before I made the universe it was very hard to find one of these at Staples.

The first Casual Friday.

Sparky and Pillow, the only two animals Noah took with him on the ark. (If thou countest not the 3,000 fleas and ticks.)

There was something about the patriarchs that helped them see a unified vision of the future. (Not pictured: Bert.)

Joseph was a lifelong bachelor.

Outside some buildings, the Ten Commandments set the mood.

Outside others, they kill it.