The Kingdom Land (5 page)

He smiled when he saw the broken
clock on the dashboard with the hour hand pointing straight up and
the minute hand broken off.
Well,
everything's back to normal. Laura was just another in a long
string of broken dreams.

He began to take inventory. He is
still hurt from the cuts, but he felt there was nothing serious. He
was more interested in something beside his body.
Was happened? Am I crazy or desperate? Was I
really touched—touched by God?
These
thoughts came quickly. The reality hadn't changed in front of him.
The prairie land with its short coarse grass still surrounded him.
His jaw still throbbed with pain, but something was
different.

As Erik sat in that old Chevy pickup he knew things
were different. He needed things to be different. Erik knew God had
answered. There had been too many times in the past that he thought
things were real, like Laura could love him. Erik knew he was a
rainbow chaser, and at least to this point had found no pots of
gold. This morning seemed different. There was something tangible
and different this morning. He should be disgusted and ashamed.
He'd just been humiliated and beat up. This morning his emotions
had taken a different path than depression about his failures.

He sat on the prairie with the morning sun beginning
to warm the land and he thought. He made no attempt to move the
pickup or himself.

“
So this is what Aunt Mary and
Aaron Hanson were talking about. I've always known that He was
real, but He's real, here, now,”
and then
Erik spoke out loud, hoping he would be heard in place filled with
silence.
”He was really with me last night.
He was really with me and it seems like He'd been with me all
along. Maybe He has been. It's just as my aunt and uncle told me.
You were here if I would acknowledge You. It's hard to believe how
stupid I've been to hear about You and think that You were
somewhere far off when You, who I needed so much, were so
close.”
But Erik's declaration brought up
more questions.

The land around him was still barren. The aches from
the prior night's fight still stung, but something was different.
How could God be in such a place?

He continued to sit in the pickup and he rolled these
thoughts around in his mind as if he was rolling a piece of sweet
candy in his mouth. For several hours he simply sat with a sense of
calm. The only doubt he had was how God could love someone like
him.

But what would he do now? He knew he couldn't talk to
his aunt and uncle until he was sure. They had heard too many of
his pipe dreams, but the more he sat there and tried to talk to God
under his breath, the more he knew he wasn't the same. Most things
go away the more you question them, but his sense of His presence
grew stronger.

One other reality couldn't be avoided. He was
starved. He decided to drive to Fairfield since it was too early
and himself too much of a mess to field his aunt's questions. She
would be mad and complain that he hadn't let her know where he was.
It was rare for Erik to stay away overnight. But he could deal with
that later. It seemed like there was much more to deal with and
understand besides his aunt's displeasure.

Erik started the pickup's engine, but let it idle
much longer than needed. He was in no hurry. He steered the pickup
back along the route of the night before, from a place with no road
to dirt road, from dirt road to gravel, and finally from gravel to
black top pavement. He drove south and then turned west directly
towards Fairfield. He knew he needed a meal, but knew nothing else.
Things had changed, but he didn't know exactly what had changed, or
what it meant.

The morning sun was beginning to heat the land even
at this early morning. He rolled down a window and felt the breeze
whip his hair across his face. The cuts on his face still stung,
but the sensation made him feel normal. Pain was a feeling he knew
more than any other.

 

 

***

 

There was only one restaurant open on Sunday mornings
in Fairfield, the Glacier Inn. The front of the restaurant looked
the same as the other stores containing hardware or clothing on
Main Street. However, the main street was empty on a Sunday morning
except for in front of the Glacier. It would be clear even to a
passing tourist that this was the place to stop. Erik knew that The
Glacier Inn would have every table filled on a Sunday morning and
then again about noon when the church services were over. The city
folks and farm families had worked hard all week and a Sunday
breakfast at the Inn was their chance to forget the work and laugh
with neighbors. Erik knew he would have to wait for a table, but
didn't care. He did care that most of the people in line knew him,
and would see that he had been in a fight. It wouldn't be long
before the gossip started. He hoped he could get to Aunt Mary
before she heard it. In better times when the crops were good, his
aunt and uncle would have stopped here after church, but this year
didn't allow for such luxury.

Erik had to park his pickup a block
and a half away. From there he could see a group huddled waiting
their turn. Some of the men had their arms folded with impatience
while the younger kids played tag using their parents as a shield.
Erik tried to look down so people might not recognize him.
I'm so messy they'll think I'm a hobo bum.
He worked his way through the group and went
straight to the cash register to leave his name. He lowered his
head to avoid the stares. There was nothing he could do to change
that. The small restaurant didn't have room for a lobby so people
were crammed so tight you heard, “excuse me,” every few seconds. He
was too tired and too confused to care.

“
How long is the wait?” Erik asked
when he reached the register podium.

“
How many?” the older gentlemen
replied while ringing another tab.

“
Just one.” Erik wondered why the
question was even necessary with the way he looked.

“
You might want to sit at the
counter. I have to leave my tables free. If you want a table it'll
be an hour, but I can get you to the counter in twenty.”

“
The counter is fine. I'll be back
in the restroom so don't give my place to anyone else.” Erik knew
the manger, Don, but didn't know if Don knew him this morning. All
Erik got was a disgusting look of
look
what the cat drug in.
Suddenly Erik felt
like one of the bums that worked with him during the harvest
season.

Erik worked his way through the line of booths
towards the bathrooms. His kept his head bowed. The men's room
didn't have a line, but the inside was filled shoulder to shoulder.
There was only one sink and Erik waited his turn.

“
Go ahead.” A man gestured to Erik
to cut in front of him.

“
Sure? You were here
first.”

“
Its all yours.” The man again
gestured.

Erik didn't even say thanks as he turned on the warm
water. He tried to dab the cut with a paper towel. The paper was so
thick and hard it felt like cardboard. Erik grimaced with pain. As
he examined his cut in the mirror, he saw the man behind him
staring. Erik didn't know if the man wanted him to hurry, or if he
was wondering what fight Erik had found.

“
This might work better.” The man
said as he pulled out a cloth handkerchief from his pocket and
handed it to Erik.

Erik felt both grateful and awkward. He took the
handkerchief and forgot to even acknowledge the gesture.

As Erik began to clean away the next cut of dried
blood, he saw the man still looking at him in the mirror.

“
I'm going to be a while. You go
ahead. I've taken your spot and your handkerchief.” Erik wanted to
be polite, but he also wanted the man to quit looking at him. The
man quickly washed his hands and was gone.

Once Erik had cleaned as much as he could, he went
back to the join the others huddled in front of the cash register.
He took a spot at the very back of the entry, but close enough to
hear his name called.

The same man who offered Erik his handkerchief was
directly in front of him. The man was laughing and talking with a
young couple that Erik had seen before at the Fairfield Community
Church. The restaurant was loud enough that Erik could only hear
parts of their conversation, but what he heard made him inch
forward.

“
John, you must have faith to be
able to laugh when there aren't any carpenter jobs in four
counties,” a young man standing next to Erik's new acquaintance
said.

“
I'm not sure if it's my faith, or
sheer stupidity,” John laughed, “but faith sure doesn't hurt. Faith
has been a long journey and has its ups and downs, but in the end,
He has never let me down.”

Erik cocked his head in an attempt to hear more, but
the restaurant manager spoke first.

“
John' I've got a seat at the
counter for you” the cashier yelled to the same man Erik was trying
to listen to. “Folks, move aside so he can get through,” At the
same time he noticed Erik, “and you behind him, come along
also.”

The couple from the church looked at Erik, then said,
“John, we're next for a table. Why don't' you wait and join
us?”

Erik got the hint. He was surprised by the man named
John's reply. “No, thanks. I'll take the counter. My coffee cup
always stays warm at the counter.”

 

 

 

Chapter Five

 

 

“
M
y name is
John O'Brian.” the man offered a handshake as he slid onto the
counter stool. “We meet again.”

Erik heard the remark but was trying to figure out
how to find a comfortable place on the bar-like stool with his back
aflame from last night. He turned with embarrassment when he
realized John had his hand extended to shake.

“
I'm sorry,” Erik quickly shook the
man's hand. “I'm Erik. I hope you don't mind, but I didn't keep you
handkerchief. It looked so bad when I was done, so I threw it
away.”

“
Don't worry about it. It was so old
I would have thrown it away myself.” John picked up the sugar jar
and tilted a steady flow of sugar into the empty cup.

Erik watched him pour a mound of sugar into the empty
cup. “I heard you talking about faith” Erik found himself
saying.

John leveled the sugar just enough to stop the flow,
and a broad smile followed.

“
The usual?” a hurried waitress
appeared and waited for John to move the sugar so she could fill
him cup. “You're the only man I know who puts in sugar before the
coffee, but I don't know if you put coffee in your sugar or sugar
in your coffee.”

“
It saves me time, and yes, the
usual. Get my friend here whatever he wants. I'm buying.” John
pointed to Erik.

“
Bacon, two eggs over easy with hash
browns, but I'll buy my own.” Erik rapidly replied with his eyes
never leaving John.

“
You two boys can figure out whose
paying, just remember to leave a tip” the waitress joked as she
wrote and turned to hang the order on the cook's wheel.

John said, “Yes, I know about faith, but all that
means is I know about Him.”

“
Him?”

“
Him, Christ, who is the only reason
I can have faith or hope or whatever you want to call it. You don't
know Him then faith is pretty empty.”

“
I think I met Him last night.” Erik
tried to take back the words the moment they were spoken.
What am I doing? I don't even know this guy. He
could be some freak or something, and I don't know what I'm talking
about.

“
Praise the Lord, young man! How did
that come about? Looks like maybe you met more than Christ last
night,” John had a large grin on his face and laid his hand on
Erik's shoulder.

Neither “praise the Lord” nor being addressed as a
young man sat well with Erik. He could feel his shoulder tighten
under John's hand, and he hesitated to respond.

“
You know, John, I don't mean to be
rude, and maybe I'm too tired, I've never liked it when people
said, ‘Praise the Lord.' It sounds fake, it made me feel like the
person thought they were better than me. Every time I hear it I
think I'm going to get a sermon.”

Again John chuckled while taking his
hand off Erik's shoulder. He took a sip of the hot coffee. “No
sermons from me. You asked the question. I gave the answer, and
I'll watch the
Praise the
Lords
. You'll excuse me if one slips out.
It's just something I say to Him, not to make an impression. If you
don't mind, and I think you'd tell me if you did, what happened
last night?”

“
You mean to my face. That's a long
story that you wouldn't want to hear.”

“
Fair enough,” John picked up his
tablespoon and stirred his coffee for no reason than to give Erik
some time to think.

“
Well what about meeting with
Christ, and I take it that's who you're referring to when you said
Him?”

Erik had to answer. He had asked the
first question and he had questions that needed answers. “Yeah, I
mean Christ,” and he stared straight forward. He was trying to
figure out if he should go on or not.
Was
this a man he should trust?
Everything was
new to Erik.