The Journey (15 page)

“The law?”

“Yeah. If someone hurts you, just call the police and have them hauled off to jail. Or if you’re like me, just stand up to them. If my mama thought I
let
a man raise his hand to me… she’d beat me herself.”

Azazel gently felt of my shoulder, then down my arm before lightly squeezing my bicep.

“Yet… you are so frail.”

“Frail?”

“Yes. How could you stand up to a man?”

“Azazel, I’m gonna let that one slide just because you’re…
you
.”

“Meaning?”

I sighed. “Meaning… you’ve been bound down here for a long time. Things have changed. Some people still mean you harm, yeah, but they can’t just do it in public and get away with it. I have traveled this world for
years
. I’m not stupid. I pay attention to my surroundings. And… I know how to defend myself. So, no. Drella didn’t beat me. Such a thing would never even cross his mind. He was
worried
about me. That’s all. When we left here, he took me to this beautiful old town in Japan. We got to spend a couple of days together… before he was called away.”

“You truly love him.”

“Yes, but you already knew that.”

“Did you sleep with him?”

I had started to tear up, thinking about my Drella, until
that
little comment almost made me giggle.

“Pffts. Every chance I got. You kidding?”

He yanked on my hair. “Harlot.”

I chuckled as I began lighting the candles. “If anyone should know about harlots, that’d be you.”

He locked his fingers in my curls, but he didn’t pull on them this time. It was more like a gentle
it’s okay, don’t cry
kind of gesture. At least, that’s the way it made me feel.

“Besides, Azazel, you know I cannot share in carnal pleasures with Drella. Now, if he were still human—”

“Hush, child. Do not speak on such things.”

I giggled when he tightened his grip in my hair. “Why? Jealous?”

He softly cleared his throat. “It is rude to talk about such things in mixed company. You should be concentrating on your job as Witness.
Not
on men.”

“Is that so? Hmpft. I am surrounded by nothing
but
men—Angels, Seekers, priests, monks. I rarely get to socialize with the gentler sex.” I sighed. “What I wouldn’t give to have a girlfriend to laugh with—talk about boys…”

I dragged the word
boys
out as I lit the small candle and turned to face him… and received a breath-catching shock.

Azazel was different, changed. His skin was still cracked and all of his ribs were clearly visible, yes, but his eyes seemed different. His whole face, actually. Those nearly hollow sockets and shriveled up little black eyes were changed.

“Wh-what
happened
to you?”

He smiled softly. It was truly captivating.

“I am as I was.”

“No. No you’re not.”

I hesitantly touched his now soft lips. His smile widened.

“Will you always greet me with such shock, little one? Angels
do
have egos—enormous ones. Never forget that. And
you
are dangerously close to crushing mine.”

“Wha— No. No. It’s not a
bad
thing. I mean… it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“Your eyes.”

“What about my eyes?”

“They’re blue.”

He smiled again. “They have
always
been blue.”

I shook my head. “No. When last I saw you, they were tiny little black things. You didn’t hardly even have a nose.” I touched it as I said the word. “More like… just a sunken hole in your face. Wow… It’s so lovely.”

He chuckled. “My
nose
is lovely?”

I nodded. “Yes. So long and sharp—the perfect profile nose. I love it. Well… I’ve got this
thing
for sharp noses. I can’t help but admire them.”

“Well, I have this
thing
for little button noses like yours.” He touched mine as he spoke. “Only humans have soft features such as this—tiny, gentle, fragile. No trace of Angel to be seen.”

“Pffts. Of course I don’t resemble an Angel, you big goof. I’m just a common old human.”

He cupped my cheek. “I like it when you blush—how bright your skin glows.”

“Stop teasing me, Angel.”

He chuckled. “I am glad. My heart is lightened to see that a tiny bit of the pity you once showed me has been replaced with but a drop of awe.”

“And… your smile…”

“…Yes?”

“Azazel, you’ve got one of those smiles that make women’s knees go weak, make their tummies feel all funny inside.”

“What are you saying, child? I smiled at you last time. I couldn’t help but smile. In truth, I laughed.”

“I
knew
you were laughing at me.”

“How could I not? Crawling about on your knees, grasping at air, begging me to let you light your torch because you were afraid of the dark.”

“I said, stop teasing me.”

“Oh, come now. Watching you… that was the first time I had smiled in
centuries
.”

“Well… it wasn’t like
this
smile.”

“You like my smile?”

“I love it. I mean… last time, when you smiled… it took my breath away a little. But
this
smile… Oooh, this smile makes me weak, melts me. How did women resist you?”

“They did not.”

I swallowed hard then, remembering exactly who it was I was now talking to.

“Umm, well… I guess I’d better do as that Palpateal guy said and—”

Azazel growled then and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer. “You did not answer my question from before. How is it you so easily turned my mind from your transgression?”

“My transgress—”

“Why are you covered with that filthy Angel’s scent?”

“I don’t know. I just—”

“Jem! I will not release you until I know you speak the truth.”

“Hey! Chill out, Angel. Don’t think for one minute that you can just jerk me around as you please. I was kind to you because I
chose
to be. Don’t make me change my mind.”

He released me and sort of snorted. “And what could
you
do to
me
?”

“And what could
you
do to stop me?”

He shot me a sideways glance, and then looked back to the ceiling. We sat like that for several long, quiet moments.

“…I am sorry,” he whispered softly.

His humble confession truly shocked me. I never dreamed a creature such as him even
capable
of remorse. It took me a long moment to find my voice.

“It’s no big deal. Sorry I snapped at you like that.” I sighed. “The truth is… I have no idea why I smell like Palpatoe.”

“Paltiel.”

“Yeah, Paltiel. The dude hates me. Remember when I told you I rarely
ever
use swear words?”

He smiled with only one corner of his mouth. “Unless you broke a nail.”

“Something like that. Anyway, that raven-haired bully of an Angel made me cuss—like
three
time, maybe even more. I was so mad I could eat nails.”

“What did he do to make you cuss?”

“Cussed me first, I think. Ugh… I don’t even recall the whole of it now. I can’t
remember
the last time I was so angry. And it happened instantaneously—soon as he started snapping at me.”

“Paltiel can be a rather
trying
creature, it’s true.”

“Yeah, well, when I went
back
to the Nether and told him I needed to go to Keiss, he said he was gonna do me a favor. The only one I’d ever get from him, as a matter of fact. Then, he grabbed me by the hair and shoved me here. I fell face-first into the dirt at the top of the tunnel.”

“…Were I but whole… I would end him.”

I smiled. “Well, that’s super sweet of you, but don’t worry about me. I can put up with his hatred for the short amount of time it takes me to pass through there.”

“Hatred? Hmpft. You are so terribly young, little one.”

“Do not count me as a fool, Angel. I know hate. I know disgust as well. And I saw both of them plainly within Paltiel’s cold eyes.”

“Hate or desire—I cannot say which. Promise me one thing, child.”

“Yes?”

“Give that Angel wide berth. Trust me in this.”

“…I will.”

He smiled then and gently took my hand. “Come. Let me see what you have seen since last we spoke.”

“Huh?”

“Yours pictures, little one. Let me see your phone.”

“Oh. Sorry, Azazel. I don’t think I’ve taken any pictures since then.”

He furrowed his brow. “You have been nowhere?”

“No. I already told you I went to Oharaimachi with Drella. Oh… Wait.” I dug my phone out. “I
did
take a couple of pictures there.”

“Let me see.” He grabbed the phone, then paused and turned to face me. “You made it your phone saver.”

I looked at the orchid and dragonfly picture on display. “
Screen
saver.” I couldn’t help but smile. “I changed it that same day. You made me remember how much I loved it.”

Azazel mirrored my gentle gaze before turning back to the phone, and quickly began tapping the screen. I couldn’t help but giggle.

“Oy. You’re such a brat. You know that?” I laid down beside him and touched the picture icon. “Spoiled rotten—used to getting everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“…Not everything,” he softly whispered.

“Yeah. Guess that’s why we’re lying in the dirt together. Sometimes our greatest blessings… are when we are told
no
.”

He handed me the phone back and carefully wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer.

“You speak truth, little one. Our desires can blind us to their ramifications.”

“Yep. It’s always better to be scolded than to touch the hot stove eye.”

“Heh. What are you talking about?”

“It’s better to listen to our parents than to live through the pain of ignoring them. They tell us
no
because they love us. Not because they don’t want us to be happy.”

He lightly kissed my forehead then. The sudden tenderness shocked me.

“How is it you are so wise, little one?”

“Wise?” I chuckled. “Far from it.
I
was the one who had to touch the stove eye—see for myself. I rarely listened the first time. The lessons I have learned… I’ve come by them the hard way.”

“As have I. Yet… you are not bound in the darkness.”

“Pfft. That’s just because you’ve had so many more years to screw-up than I’ve had. If my lifespan was as yours… I’m pretty sure I’d be pinned down right here beside you.”

He laughed then. “Not if you had lived
ten
of my lifetimes would you be as damned as am I.”

“From your mouth to God’s ear, Angel.”

“Yes… to God’s ear. Although… I would not mind the company. It would be… magically tragic.”

“Magically tragic?” I chuckled. “And what’s
that
supposed to mean, Gramps?”

“Why do you insist on calling me that? —Gramps.”

“Because… I told you you reminded me of that old man in Slovakia. Remember?”

He didn’t answer, only turned his gaze to the distant ceiling.

“Did I offend you?” I barely whispered.

Azazel waited a long moment before saying, “How did you picture me in your mind, little one?”

“Oh, well… I didn’t really have a set visual, I don’t guess. I mean, I’d never actually
met
an Angel before. Men have painted many images of Angels, all different kinds—golden-haired male warriors… gentle, ministering lady Angels… even chubby little cherub baby Angels.”

He made a rather disgusted kind of noise. “Angels are neither female, nor are there babes among us.”

“Yeah, I sort of figured that.”

“You spoke only of other people’s thoughts concerning my kind. What did
you
picture, Jem?”

“To be honest… nothing good. I’ve studied way too much to
romanticize
Angels. I’ve never read a single account that didn’t chill me to the core. Angels are warriors, to be sure, and good at what they do. When I read Daniel’s account of the Angel who came to him… I had some seriously messed-up dreams for several days after that.”