The Investigator (22 page)

* * *

Kate stared at her reflection in the mirror above the cracked Formica sink. She pushed back her hair with hands that trembled. Splashing cool water onto her hot cheeks, she tried to forget the look of abject confusion on Riley’s face.

The quiet click of the door as it closed behind him had echoed through her heart. More tears stung the backs of her eyes, but she refused to allow them passage. She’d done all the crying she was going to do over the shitty hand she’d been dealt. It had ruined her chances of ever having a normal relationship. That was something it seemed she’d always known. Somehow, though, with Riley, she’d allowed herself the faintest glimmer of hope that this time, things might be different.

Then he’d kissed her. More than kissed her. He’d
consumed
her. His passion had exploded in her heart and had turned her molten with need. The yearning deep inside to hold him close and never let him go had been painful in its intensity and had almost overwhelmed her.

Then the fear had set in. The fear that her past would rise up and contaminate anything they could ever have together. The terror that when it really came down to it, she’d never be able to let him touch her in the way she knew he’d want to.

So she’d pushed him away, like she’d pushed all of them away, even the most persuasive ones—the ones she’d thought would make her forget, only to discover they couldn’t. No one could.

She couldn’t keep doing the same thing, over and over. She had to deal with it. With a groan, she pressed her face into a soft, clean towel and scrubbed her skin dry. A decade ago, she’d walked away from the nightmare that was her life and had vowed not to look back. But now there was so much more at stake… She was damned if she’d let her past continue to dictate the terms of her future.

With renewed determination, she flicked off the bathroom light and walked back to the bed. The smell of Riley’s aftershave lingered in the air, on her shirt. Her thoughts ricocheted back to him and the tightness in her chest returned tenfold. Regret, sharp and bitter filled her mouth.

If only…

If only things were different. If only she could stand to have him hold her, have him love her.

But it was too late for ‘if onlys’.
She’d seen the look in his eyes, right before the door had closed. At this point, she knew he wouldn’t settle for anything less than a full explanation—and that was if he was ever willing to listen to anything she had to say again. She might have lost her chance.

She had to go to him. She had to make him see that the problem was
her
, not him. As lame and as trite as it sounded, it was the truth. And he deserved that, at the very least.

Throwing herself face down onto the coverlet, she buried her head into the soft mountain of pillows and recalled the feel of his arms as they’d held her close. The memory of his lips on hers made the longing deep inside her almost unbearable.

She thought of her mother and the choices she’d made. She thought of Darryl and wondered for the hundredth time if he’d taken her mother’s life or arranged to do away with Rosemary another way. Or had she simply left, as Darryl claimed?

Kate had told Riley her mother would never leave without confiding in her, but what if she was
wrong
? What if her mother had been desperate enough to toss aside all of her concerns about how her daughter would react and simply packed up and left? What if she was wrong about Darryl, too?

Hot, swift denial twisted Kate’s lips. She didn’t believe for a moment he was innocent. He was evil to the core.

She recalled the way he’d spoken to her outside his house, the way his eyes had crawled over her skin, leaving her feeling dirty and ashamed. And she remembered the way he’d spoken about her mother. What had he said about the laptop?

‘Your mother was never off it. Why she found it so interesting, I’ll never understand’.

Kate’s heart pounded. She lay very still. Her mind latched onto the words again and she tried to slow her thoughts.

Your mother was never off it… Why she found it so interesting…

And then she realized what had caught her attention: Darryl had referred to her mother in the past
tense.
Why
would he do that? If he truly thought she was alive, he’d have phrased it differently.
Wouldn’t
he?

Kate rolled over onto her back and hugged her knees tightly to her chest. Her breath still came fast and she did her best to steady it. She needed to keep her head clear so she could think.

She needed to call Riley.

CHAPTER 18

“You’ll have to try harder than that if you want to beat me, Munro.”

Riley gritted his teeth and sent the squash ball slamming into the wall right above Chase’s head, welcoming the discomfort in his muscles.

“So, you’re taking body shots now?” Chase’s grin faded at Riley’s fierce, narrow-eyed look of determination. “You should have warned me about how seriously you take your squash.”

“Hey, you’re the one who agreed to the game.” Riley smashed the ball, watching in satisfaction as it bounced off the front wall above the red line and onto the opposite side, completely bamboozling his opponent.

Chase frowned. “What’s got you so riled up?”

Riley’s jaw clenched. He wasn’t about to tell him about Kate. He’d already spilled too much. He didn’t need another round of gibing. Besides,
he
was still confused about what had happened.

The ball whizzed by his head and bounced off the wall beside him. His racquet came up instinctively but he missed it by a mile.

Chase yelped in surprise and pumped the air with his fist. “Score one for Barrington. Munro, you’re going down.”

Riley forced a smile. He pushed the thoughts away and buried them deep. He’d think about it later, when he was alone, when he was in a better frame of mind to deal with the complicated drama that was Kate Collins and the blows she’d dealt to his psyche.

With a well-practised flick of his wrist, his racquet connected once again with the small rubber ball and sent it flying toward the wall. There was nothing like hard physical activity to push other things from his mind.

“Hey, Munro? I think your phone’s ringing.”

Glancing to the back corner of the court where he’d left his things, Riley saw the screen of his cell light up. His stomach somersaulted with a mix of dread and anticipation. It was probably Kate. She’d left three messages already, one last night and two this morning. He wasn’t ready to talk to her.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re on a day off. I don’t know why I didn’t switch it off,” he replied, serving the ball up again.

“Yeah, might as well make the most of it.” Chase grinned and lobbed the ball low on the wall. Riley didn’t even bother to go after it.

“Another one to me, Munro. You’d better pick up your game before I whip your ass.”

Riley’s eyes gleamed. “Not in this lifetime, Barrington.”

* * *

Kate listened as Riley’s phone once again went to voice mail.

“Hi, this is Detective Riley Munro. Please leave a message.” The greeting was short and to the point and getting way too familiar.

She sighed and left another message. “Riley, I
really
need to talk to you. Please call me. Please.”

Hitting the end button on her phone, she tossed it onto the counter next to the TV and dropped down onto the unmade bed. With her head in her hands, she fought off feelings of defeat.

He was avoiding her
. Now, right when she’d made a breakthrough, he didn’t want to talk to her. And all because of her reaction to a stupid kiss. He thought her reaction was because of him. She’d seen it in his face. The hurt, the rejection. He’d thought she was rejecting
him
.

The truth was she liked him.
Really
liked him. And that scared her to death. The few times she’d allowed a man to get close, she’d panicked at the crucial moment. More than panicked—fought like a cornered animal was a more accurate description.

She still remembered making out with a young Italian guy a couple of years ago. He’d been good-looking enough to be a movie star. She’d even managed to get naked without the panic overwhelming her.

But then he’d started touching her and her mind and body had rebelled. It was like the jaws of death had tightened around her chest, squeezing the life out of her. She’d gone clammy and cold and had fought like an injured tiger to get out of his arms.

She’d felt sorry for him, but there had been nothing she could do about it—then, or now. She’d expected to feel the same way with Riley; had even braced herself for it. But it hadn’t come. At least, not the way she thought it would.

Wariness had lurked beneath the surface, but the gut-wrenching, mind numbing full-blown panic attack hadn’t eventuated. Perhaps she’d made progress, just like her four-hundred-dollar-an-hour English therapist had said she would. Or perhaps it was Riley.

Grabbing a pillow, Kate lay back on the bed and hugged it to her chest. Hot, silent tears seeped out from beneath her tightly closed lids. Oh, God, why couldn’t she be normal? Like other girls? Like Sonia and all the other young women who had boyfriends and ex-boyfriends? Like the girls who knew how to laugh and tease and flirt, instead of tensing with fear the minute a man happened to shoot her a second glance?

There was no guessing why she was like that. Now, she had even more reason to despise Darryl.

It had taken awhile, but once she’d managed to compose herself after Riley’s departure, she’d returned to her mother’s laptop and had checked Rosemary’s email contacts. Daisyblu hadn’t been listed. Of course, it was possible she was listed under some other name—her real name, for instance, but without that information, finding her out of the hundred or so contacts in her mother’s address book was impossible.

Then she’d had an idea. She Googled Daisyblu and had found a Facebook page.

Daisyblu was on Facebook.

A single click later and Kate had sent a friend request. She was still waiting for a reply. Impatience grumbled low in her stomach…or maybe it was merely hunger?

She rolled over onto her back and tried not to think of Riley and the meal they’d shared the night before. Until the kiss, things had been going fine. More than fine. He’d been charming and funny, considerate and kind. He’d shared his deepest secret with her. At least, what he considered his deepest secret. It wasn’t much when compared with hers.

She still couldn’t imagine sharing her secret with anyone—not even a man with warm, brown eyes full of compassion, kindness and understanding.

* * *

Riley wiped the sweat off his face with his towel and draped it over his shoulder. Squatting beside his gym bag, he tugged out his phone and checked his messages. Another one from Kate. This time, she sounded desperate.

“What’s with the grim look? You just beat me soundly.” Chase sauntered closer, his curls hanging damp around his face.

Riley forced a grin. “Sorry, mate. It’s nothing. Work stuff; you know how it is.”

Chase cocked an eyebrow. “Thought you were on a day off? How’s that MP case going, anyway? Kate Watson still in town?”

Riley’s jaw tensed at the mention of her name. “Yep,” he muttered. He tossed the towel into his gym bag and bent low to zip it up.

Chase whistled. “Like that, huh? You’ve got it bad, mate.”

Heat crept up Riley’s neck, but he refused to take the bait. Ever since that kiss, things had gotten way too complicated. He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid. She was an integral part of his investigation.

But she’d seemed to want it as much as he had. At least, until she hadn’t. She’d been panting like she’d run a marathon when she’d torn herself away from him. He might have put it down to the fiery passion they’d shared, until he realized she was panting from fear.

With a heavy sigh, he hefted the gym bag over his shoulder and offered Chase a tight smile. “I’ll catch you later, mate. Thanks for the game.”

Curiosity gleamed in Chase’s eyes, but he let it go. “Yeah, okay. I’ll treat you to a beer at The Bullet tonight, if you’re up to it. You probably have to go and soak those tired, old bones after the match I gave you. You might have won, but you had to work for every point.”

Riley’s lips twitched in response. “In your dreams, Barrington. In your dreams.”

CHAPTER 19

Riley brought the unmarked squad car to a stop in the visitors’ parking lot. Kate’s rental car was right outside her door. He frowned. She really had no idea about taking basic precautions. How easy would it be for anyone to draw the same logical conclusion and discover her whereabouts without even trying? He shook his head and sighed.

He’d thought about phoning her, but after ignoring her messages all day, a face-to-face meeting was probably called for. He drew in a breath and wiped sweaty palms on his jeans. He didn’t know what he had to be nervous about. It was only a kiss they’d shared, after all. People did that all the time.

Too bad it hadn’t felt like just an ordinary kiss. And too bad she didn’t seem to feel the same way. He gave a mental shrug. He’d get over it. It wasn’t like he was in love with her.

Before he could change his mind, he climbed out of the car and approached the door of her room. He rapped on the wooden panel and, a few moments later, caught the twitch of the curtain as it was pulled aside. The door opened and Kate stood on the other side, looking anything but welcoming.

“I see you’ve finally decided I warrant a minute or so of your time. I hope I’m not keeping you from something more important—like cutting your toenails.”

He grinned. He couldn’t help it. She didn’t even come up to his shoulder, yet she was spitting at him like a tigress. His casual shrug seemed to infuriate her further.

“Why didn’t you return my calls? I’ve been phoning you since last night. Do you realize I may have made a break in your case? No, of course you don’t because you haven’t bothered to ring me.”

Riley held up his hands.

“Whoa, there, sweetheart. Back up a minute. I’ve been off duty all day. As for last night…” He eyed her meaningfully. “Let’s just say I wasn’t in the mood for talking.”