The Inner Circle: The Knowing (30 page)

Far-a-mael clapped his hands together,
appearing far more elated than the situation demanded. ‘This is
brilliant.’

CHAPTER
Twenty

A Way Out

Seteal existed several strides above
her body, diligently keeping a keen eye on the tendrils of frozen
air that whipped about the river boat. Her body had been covered in
blankets right up to the chin and El-i-miir huddled beside it
beneath one of her own. Seteal couldn’t very well feel the cold in
her present state, but judging by the colour of her lips, the
temperature could not have been very pleasant.

‘
To your left.’
Seteal squeezed the words out through uncooperative
lips.

‘
Get away!’ El-i-miir
shouted at the men working portside. They abandoned their duties
and scurried starboard. A cold arm bit at the timber, coating it
with a fresh layer of ice before snatching back away. Seteal gave
the all-clear and the men returned to work.

Throughout the day, the streams of
frozen air continued their assault on Captain Waxnah’s riverboat,
but as the distance increased between themselves and the frozen
centre, the danger steadily lessened. It’d been at least half an
hour since the most recent attack and Seteal was growing tired, the
temperature having taken a toll on her body which shivered
uncontrollably.

In an attempt to distract herself,
Seteal took a moment away from her duties and drifted over to the
female crewmember she’d noticed earlier. The woman was pretty, with
blue eyes and a charming smile. She worked as hard or harder than
any of the men, which was probably why Waxnah had accepted her as
part of the crew. The woman laughed at a joke made by one of the
men. It was a nice laugh, both genuine and warm.

Seteal gasped as the cold pinched at
her soul, a warning of what was to come. She spiralled away from
the woman, but it was too late. A frozen tendril streaked toward
the back of the boat. ‘Stern.’ The word burst up from Seteal’s
chest as she thrust forward her spirit with such force that time
slowed down around her.

The frozen air sat silently just a
handswidth from a crewman’s face. He was smiling, perhaps having
heard the same joke as the female crewmember. Seteal sighed within
herself as the tendril crawled through time toward the man’s face.
Why couldn’t she have stopped time completely? Why couldn’t she
reverse it? Why had she been so selfish that she’d cost this man
his life? When she re-entered the ordinary flow of time the tendril
would certainly take his life. He was already dead.

If Seteal had had a mouth she’d
have screamed as the strip of frozen air made contact with the
man’s forehead. A small circle of flesh lost its colour. From there
the circle grew as the tendril penetrated. There was no time for a
change of expression. His smile seemed to mock Seteal for her
incompetence. The man would die so quickly that he would never even
know what had transpired. Why Seteal felt she had to watch the
process in all its painful glory escaped her entirely, but perhaps
it was a means by which to punish herself.

The man’s jaw dislocated and his throat
ruptured. Shards of flesh broke away. Seteal cried out to eternity,
but still she refused to hide from his death. She had done this to
him. Seteal felt his heart’s final beat. She knew when his brain
ceased to function. She felt the blood stop moving through his
veins. And she fell backward into her body, where she began to
scream.

The crewman hit the deck and
cracked into pieces that quickly became bloody mush. ‘It’s my
fault,’ Seteal cried. ‘It’s all my fault!’

‘
No,’ El-i-miir
comforted her as some of the crew scurried over to tend to the
crewman’s remains. ‘You’ve saved countless lives today. We all knew
the risks.’

‘
No,’ Seteal sobbed.
‘You don’t understand. I was distracted. I let him
down.’

‘
Are there anymore?’
Far-a-mael rushed over and snatched at Seteal’s arm. Master Fasil
drove her face into the mud and thrust himself into her.

‘
Get off me,’ Seteal
shrieked, shoving Far-a-mael away before stumbling to the side of
the boat. ‘Get away from me, you monster.’

‘
Stop this, girl.’
Far-a-mael pursued her, but wasn’t foolish enough to lay hands on
her a second time. ‘Are there anymore?’

‘
No,’ Seteal
sniffled. ‘That was the last one. Now leave me the torrid alone or
so help me, Maker, I’ll make you regret it.’

Far-a-mael gaped at her in
astonishment. All the same he respected her request and did not
follow as Seteal raced down into the hold. There she found what
she’d known she would, but had hoped she wouldn’t. Darra and the
other horses were dead. Their eyes were glazed over, their mouths
twisted in agony.

‘
Oh, Darra,’ Seteal
sobbed, tears flowing down the side of her face as she entered the
holding pen and wrapped her arms around the animal’s cold, soggy
neck. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘
I should see if
she’s okay,’ El-i-miir reassured Far-a-mael, retreating slowly.
This was her chance. Waxnah’s people were preoccupied with the dead
crewman and Far-a-mael knew better than to chase after Seteal in
such a state. ‘I’ll talk to her. She’ll be fine.’ El-i-miir smiled
innocently and then without waiting for the old man to give
consent, she spun on her heels and headed below deck.

Undoubtedly, Seteal would be in their
shared quarters, probably sobbing in her sheets. Without the time
to worry about her, El-i-miir raced straight past the room and down
the spiral staircase.

‘
Please don’t be
dead.’ Her heart pounded relentlessly. ‘Please Maker, don’t let him
be dead.’ Water sloshed about her feet as El-i-miir approached the
defrosting door.

She pounded the cold surface with
her fist, tears already fogging her vision. Shaking hands grabbed
the little wheel and she spun it feverishly. She pulled open the
door and burst inside expecting the worst.

‘
El-i-miir?’ Ilgrin
said.

‘
You’re alive?’ she
gasped, unable to believe the sight before her. ‘Oh, thank Maker.’
She threw her arms around Ilgrin’s waist and held him tight. Then
they kissed. El-i-miir felt her lips on his and dared for a moment
to touch his tongue with hers. She knew it was blue. There could be
no more ignoring what he was. Certainly he was a demon and some
small, sinful part of El-i-miir found that exciting.

Ilgrin bit his lip when she finally
pulled away. ‘That was unexpected.’

‘
I’m sorry.’
El-i-miir put a hand over her mouth. ‘I thought . . .’

‘
That I was dead?’
Ilgrin nodded. ‘I thought I was, too, but something happened to
Seeol. He did . . . something.’

‘
Seeol?’ El-i-miir
frowned. ‘Where is he?’

‘
He was frozen in
here with me for a while.’ Ilgrin shrugged. ‘He left when--oh, who
cares?’ He put his hand against El-i-miir’s back and leaned in to
kiss her again. El-i-miir gave herself over to Ilgrin’s strength,
willingly receiving his tender kiss.

‘
You’re good at
that.’ El-i-miir melted.

The silt blushed blue. ‘I’ve never done
it before.’

‘
Well, you’re very
good.’ El-i-miir placed her finger on his lips before leaning in to
kiss him, but a loud bang caught her attention and she pulled away.
‘I have to go,’ she whispered, leaping to her feet and hurrying out
the door. She slammed it shut and spun the wheel.

The room was very still. It was too
silent. El-i-miir’s jaw hung slack as she came to the realisation
that the horses were all dead. In the mayhem, she hadn’t even
spared a thought for them. She took two steps, before noticing a
glistening path of light leading toward the holding pen. She came
to a dead stop, her eyes locking on Seteal’s, red-rimmed and
watching from within. The woman sat clutching Darra’s neck, her
expression reflecting genuine fear as they followed El-i-miir’s
approach.

‘
Seteal?’ She
swallowed. ‘How long have you been in there?’

‘
Get away from me.’
Seteal’s voice shook. ‘Just leave me alone. I won’t tell
anyone.’

‘
Tell anyone what?’
El-i-miir asked unsteadily.

‘
Nothing,’ Seteal
whimpered. ‘I didn’t see anything. Just leave alone.’

‘
You have to
understand,’ El-i-miir insisted. ‘He’s different.’

‘
You’re a Sa’Tanist,
a demon worshipper,’ Seteal squeaked, sliding back fearfully until
she hit the wall. ‘Everything makes sense now.’

‘
No,’ El-i-miir
raised her hands, ‘I’m not. Ilgrin is the only one I’ve ever
seen.’

‘
Please, just leave
me alone,’ Seteal wailed, tucking her knees up under her
chin.

‘
You’re being
ridiculous!’ El-i-miir yanked open the stall gate and stepped
inside.

‘
Help me!’ Seteal
shouted out to anyone who might be listening.

‘
All right.’
El-i-miir backed away. ‘I’m going. I can see you’re upset, but
please, Seteal, please don’t tell Far-a-mael. At least not until
you’ve given me a chance to explain.’

‘
I won’t tell
anyone.’ Her eyes were wide with fear.

‘
Okay.’ El-i-miir
remained fixed in place, waiting for Seteal to go on, but she
didn’t. ‘Okay, then,’ she repeated. ‘I’m going to go.’ She waited
another moment, but when Seteal refused to say another word,
El-i-miir headed upstairs carrying a heavy burden.

*

The corridor was dimly lit. Most of the
crew were still upstairs. Seteal couldn’t stand to be alone, so she
tapped on the door and waited until Far-a-mael called for her to
enter. ‘Gil’rei,’ she murmured once inside the cramped quarters.
‘Teach me something.’

‘
To be honest, I
didn’t expect to see you again today after your performance
earlier.’ The old man raised an eyebrow. ‘What changed your
mind?’

‘
I’m sorry about
that,’ Seteal said, pulling out the desk chair and taking a seat
opposite Far-a-mael who was sitting on his bed. ‘I was upset about
that poor crewman. I should’ve been better focused.’

‘
We all make
mistakes, my dear girl,’ Far-a-mael said warmly. He disassembled
his pistol and started cleaning it.

‘
Yes, but someone
died.’

‘
It’s not your
fault.’ Far-a-mael stopped what he was doing to look her in the
eye. ‘People will live and people will die. If there is anything my
years have taught me, it’s that there’s nothing you can do to
change that. If you keep blaming yourself, you’ll live in misery
and doing so will not bring back the dead. That’s the way it is and
the way it should be.’

‘
Who did you lose?’
Seteal asked before she could stop the words from leaving her
mouth.

‘
I’ve seen a lot of
death,’ Far-a-mael replied dismissively. ‘I’m one hundred and
seventy-four years old.’

‘
That’s not
what I asked,’ Seteal insisted. ‘I asked who
you
have
lost.’

‘
Careful, girl.’
Far-a-mael picked up a brush and resumed cleaning his gun. ‘It’s
not your place to enquire into my past and my tolerance is wearing
thin. You must remember that I’m your gil, not your
friend.’

‘
Sorry.’

‘
Anyway,’ Far-a-mael
said cheerily, ‘we have more important things to discuss, do we
not?’

‘
I don’t understand,’
Seteal replied, her mind drifting back to the memory of helplessly
watching the crewman die.

‘
This ability of
yours.’ Far-a-mael was hardly able to contain his excitement. ‘I
intend on researching it properly when we get home, but I vaguely
remember reading about projection when I was a boy.’

‘
Projection?’

‘
Yes,’
Far-a-mael mused. ‘The ability was only ever reported in ancient
texts and many have disregarded it as myth. You don’t
actually
leave your body. That would be impossible. Certainly, no
one living today would believe it possible. But here you
are.’

‘
Here I am.’ Seteal
shook her head distractedly as she recalled El-i-miir’s embrace
with the demon. That was the primary reason she’d come to see
Far-a-mael, anything to get her mind off what she’d
witnessed.

‘
And you’re only half
Elglair,’ Far-a-mael prattled on. ‘It really makes very little
sense at all. Nevertheless, we must investigate your abilities more
closely.’ He paused to take a breath. ‘Tell me, precisely how far
can you project your mind?’

‘
I moved halfway
across the Bairon Desert once,’ Seteal replied, ‘but eventually I
began to lose consciousness.’

‘
Of course.’
Far-a-mael nodded. ‘The mind cannot exist without the body.
Eventually the physical distance would become too much for the Ways
to maintain your connection. It’s the same with affiliation. One
can only affiliate others from a certain distance. We cannot--for
example--affiliate from the other side of the world.’