The Inner Circle: The Knowing (26 page)

Seteal’s expression remained blank,
before finally she shook her head and rolled her eyes. ‘Just stay
away from me. I know what I’m doing, okay?’

‘
I don’t think you
do.’ El-i-miir gripped Seteal’s arm. ‘I’ve been doing this for a
long time and I recognise danger when I see it. If you want to
meddle with dangerous parts of the Ways, do it around someone else.
I’m not going to have to answer to Far-a-mael should you get
yourself killed.’

‘
Fine.’ Seteal shook
free of El-i-miir’s grip. ‘I’ll stay away from you, if you stay
away from me.’ She headed toward the door before turning back
sharply. ‘And try to mind your own business, all right?’ The woman
disappeared, leaving the door ajar as she went.

El-i-miir sat down and exhaled
slowly. She was surrounded by people, but felt so alone. She
imagined life had she gone to the University of the Sixth Cleff
with her friends. It was a good school with a world-renowned
Jilt’lesit degree. She’d be able to stay with her parents on
weekends and tell her sisters about her day. Instead, she had been
traipsed around the world with an evil old man who’d stop at
nothing to reach his insane goals.

‘
Hello, cutie,’ Seeol
croaked, his tiny, feathery head popping around the door. ‘You’re
looking sadder than ever.’ He scrabbled across the floor and stood
at the toe of El-i-miir’s boot.

‘
I am, a little.’
El-i-miir stared into the owl’s penetrating golden eyes.

‘
You’re a good girl.’
Seeol bobbed his head. ‘Seteal is very angry all the time. Don’t
worry. She has had horrible stuff to deal with. You are lovely so
don’t be sadness. And your hair is silky nice.’

‘
Thanks, Seeol.’
El-i-miir laughed, only to realise that she hadn’t done so in a
very long time. ‘Oh, Seeol,’ she said softly, making her way over
to a small circular window by the bed. ‘Have you ever imagined what
it must be like for someone to love you . . . the real you? Can you
imagine what such an embrace would mean?’ El-i-miir turned to face
the owl’s blank expression. ‘No . . . of course not.’ She sighed.
‘I’m being silly. You’re just a little bird. No one would ever love
you,’ she murmured thoughtlessly, before once again noting the
profound emptiness on board. ‘You wouldn’t happen to know where
everyone is, would you?’

‘
They are on top of
the town.’ Seeol’s head turned almost backward as he glanced out
the door. ‘Soon we’ll be in the chilly woods and some people said
to stop for supper . . . or supplies. Is it supplies?’

‘
I think it probably
would have been.’ El-i-miir nodded. ‘But the supplies might include
supper.’

‘
Glad that’s
settled,’ Seeol mused.

El-i-miir pressed her face
against the window. There was a single jetty to
which the boat was moored. Beyond that stood a small town nestled
between two mountains. ‘Has Far-a-mael gone, too?’

‘
I did seen him go,’
Seeol replied.

‘
Finally.’ El-i-miir
stood. ‘Some time alone.’ She made her way through the door and
turned right, intending to go up on deck, but she stopped short and
looked back down the corridor at the sound of voices floating up
from the hold.

‘
Please,’ Ilgrin
begged. ‘I need water.’

‘
Shut up, demon,’ a
familiar voice retorted.

‘
Maker damn it!’
Ilgrin cried. ‘Just a drop.’

‘
Don’t you use the
Lord’s name,’ the crewman snapped. ‘It’s blasphemy on your
tongue.’

‘
Walk away,
El-i-miir,’ she whispered to herself. Obediently, she turned back
toward the steps that led up onto deck. She put her hand on the
railing and her foot on the step but there she remained.

‘
Help him.’ Seeol’s
voice bit at El-i-miir’s heart. The elf owl was the only other that
believed in Ilgrin, and El-i-miir knew he’d go to any length to
help the silt. But Seeol was so limited in what he could do.
Perhaps she’d played the coward long enough.

‘
I will.’ El-i-miir
turned to face the bird, looking up at her from his place on the
carpet. ‘I will help him.’

The walk along the corridor took
longer than it should have and the lanterns didn’t give off enough
light, but eventually El-i-miir reached the spiral staircase and
moved down into the hold. A crewman--Raeghan, if she remembered
correctly--stood with his arms crossed before the cell
door.

‘
Can I help you, Rei
El-i-miir?’ Raeghan asked.

‘
Why haven’t you
gotten off the boat with the others?’ she asked.

‘
I wanted to.’
Raeghan looked disappointed. ‘But seeing as though the silt nearly
escaped yesterday, Gil Far-a-mael wants a guard posted here at all
times.’

‘
Still, it seems a
little unfair doesn’t it?’ El-i-miir headed across the room,
examining Raeghan’s aura as she went. Within the lights that danced
about him resided the secret to his departure. She siphoned through
the colours of his aura until she found the ones that spelled out
his weakness. The man liked cutting corners and had little
integrity. Far-a-mael couldn’t have left a better guard. E-i-miir
smiled. ‘Everyone else got to leave. Why not you?’

‘
Well, it is a little
unfair.’ Raeghan frowned. ‘But it’s captain’s orders. You know how
it is.’

‘
Well, I think you
deserve the same treatment as everyone else,’ El-i-miir murmured,
sinking tendrils of light into the man’s aura and pulling his
indignation to the surface.

‘
You’re right,’
Raeghan fumed. ‘Everyone else gets off of this Maker-damned boat
and I’m left with a stinking demon.’

‘
I know!’ El-i-miir
pretended to have been struck by an idea. ‘Why don’t you go enjoy
yourself and I’ll watch the silt.’

‘
I don’t know about
that, miss,’ Raeghan said uncertainly.

‘
I don’t mind,’
El-i-miir insisted. ‘I’ve already been out for a walk.’ She pulled
dangerously hard on Raeghan’s indignation and tied a knot in it to
prevent it from sinking back into the depths of his aura. It would
untangle eventually, but not for a good while. She then plunged
streams of her own aura back into the glow to retrieve his desire
and twist it aggressively. ‘What could possibly go wrong?
Far-a-mael’s worrying about nothing.’

‘
You’re right.’
Raeghan smiled as El-i-miir tickled his sense of well-being. ‘I’ll
just go for a quick stroll. What could happen?’

‘
Absolutely nothing,’
El-i-miir replied as the man raced across the room and ran up the
stairs two at a time.

El-i-miir turned to where the horses
were fed and filled a pitcher with water. When she returned, it
dawned on her that she wouldn’t be able to fit the pitcher through
the hatch.

‘
Ilgrin?’

‘
El-i-miir,’ the silt
replied. ‘Please tell me you have water.’

‘
I do,’ El-i-miir
whispered, ‘but I can’t fit it through the hatch so I’m going to
have to open the door. I need you to promise you won’t try to do
what you did yesterday.’

‘
I can’t,’ Ilgrin
replied, laughing hoarsely. ‘They’ve chained me up properly this
time.’

‘
Okay.’ El-i-miir
took several deep breaths. ‘I’m coming in,’ she whispered under her
breath and turned the wheel. When the door opened, she was
horrified to see the scope of damage Far-a-mael had
inflicted.

Although his wounded shoulder looked to
be on the mend, Ilgrin was covered in blue welts and patches of
dried blood covered his clothing. Cuffs bound his wrists tightly
and chains were wrapped around his legs before being secured to the
metal loops protruding from the wall where the bench had previously
been attached. ‘Please,’ Ilgrin reached for the pitcher with both
hands. El-i-miir did not hesitate in giving it to him.

The silt put the pitcher to his chapped
lips and drank greedily. El-i-miir leaned against the wall waiting
patiently but soon found herself sliding down its length until she
sat beside the silt. It was only once Ilgrin had finished drinking
that he noticed El-i-miir sitting shoulder to shoulder beside
him.

‘
You’re not scared?’
he asked in confusion.

‘
I never have been.
Not really anyway,’ El-i-miir looked into Ilgrin’s eyes, her face
less than a handswidth from his. ‘You’re not what they say you are,
are you?’

‘
A demon?’ Ilgrin
said the word like he detested it.

‘
A monster.’
El-i-miir looked away.

‘
I’m not a monster.'
Ilgrin sighed. ‘I’m just not human either.’

‘
Perhaps not.
But you are a man,’ El-i-miir said softly.
‘You’re not evil or bad. You’re not even a little bit
wrong.’ She swallowed.

‘
It means a lot for
you to say that.’ Ilgrin seemed taken aback. ‘But you hardly know
me.’

‘
I don’t need
to know you to
know
you,’ El-i-miir replied. ‘I’m a rei,
remember.’

‘
Then why can’t the
others see it?’ Ilgrin’s voice was filled with sadness. ‘Why don’t
they believe me?’

‘
Well, you can’t
blame Seteal,’ El-i-miir shook her head pityingly. ‘She’s only new
to the Ways and Far-a-mael’s been editing her aura.’

‘
Why?’

‘
I’m not certain,’
El-i-miir replied, becoming distracted from her thoughts by the way
Ilgrin stared at her. ‘What is it?’

‘
Set me free,’ Ilgrin
said, touching her arm.

El-i-miir’s breath stuck in her throat.
She looked down at his smooth-ended fingers as they traced along
her flesh and curled around her hand. ‘I can’t,’ she replied,
little above a whisper.

‘
You gave me food
when no one else would,’ Ilgrin said softly. ‘You gave me blankets
those cold nights on the road. You brought me water when I thought
I might die of thirst. You’ve believed in me when nobody else
cared. Why, if only to watch them kill me when we reach the Frozen
Lands?’

‘
I don’t know,’
El-i-miir squeaked.

‘
See, I think you do
know,’ Ilgrin narrowed his eyes. ‘I think you’re happy to help me
so long as it doesn’t inconvenience you. You don’t want them to
kill me, but if you have to make any sacrifices . . . well, that’s
another story.’

‘
That’s not fair,’
El-i-miir snapped. She was tired of people passing judgement on her
and wasn’t going to put up with it from Ilgrin. ‘You’re a silt.
Think about that. I’ve spent my whole life under the impression
that you’re all evil, slimy monsters. Of course, I see now that
that’s not the case, but it takes more than two seconds to digest
that sort of information. I’ll set you free when I’ve come up with
the best possible way to go about it for the both of us, not
because I’ve been bullied into it.’

‘
I’m sorry.’ Ilgrin
slumped over in defeat. ‘You’re right. I’m no one to pass judgement
on you. Wait--’ His face lit up. ‘You said you’ll do
it?’

‘
I suppose I will.’
El-i-miir raised her eyebrows in surprise, but immediately felt
certain of her decision. A weight had been lifted from her
shoulders; the heavy burden she’d been carrying was gone. El-i-miir
was going to do the right thing. She would not allow her people to
kill an innocent man. ‘Listen here, Mister Geld.’ She took his
hand. ‘I promise you I will help you escape, but you must trust me
and be patient.’

‘
Thank you,’ Ilgrin
whispered. ‘I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you, but
I’ll do whatever I can.’

‘
You don’t need to
repay me. I’m only doing what I should’ve done a long time ago,’
El-i-miir replied as she rose to her feet and backed out of the
room. ‘For now I’ll try to distract Far-a-mael and keep him away
from you. And you should try to be as compliant as
possible.’

Ilgrin nodded, an expression of elation
filling his features as El-i-miir closed the door and spun the
little green wheel. Despite herself, she felt her cheeks rise up
into a smile that she couldn’t get rid of. It felt right, what
she’d promised. It was dangerous, but for once she was putting her
own fears aside and doing what was right. She made her way across
the hold and reached the staircase as Raeghan hurried down toward
her.

‘
Raeghan?’ El-i-miir
said in surprise.

‘
I’m sorry,
El-i-miir.’ Raeghan looked as white as a sheet. ‘I don’t know what
I was thinking leaving you down here alone, abandoning my post like
that! When the captain saw me, he almost blew his top.’

‘
Never mind,’
El-i-miir patted him on the shoulder as she headed up the stairs.
‘No harm done.’

CHAPTER
Eighteen

Disembodiment

Seteal’s soul laughed soundlessly,
existing miles above the earth. She was alone in her being, free
from the torment of embodiment. Her broken and defeated body
couldn’t burden her. There was no stolen virginity, rape, pain, or
nightmares. Those things stayed with the body she’d abandoned. That
body was lying in a bed that Seteal no longer required in a boat so
very far, far away.