The iCongressman (15 page)

CHELSEA

“Congressman Bennit, you’re now being called the
‘iCongressman’ because of all the social media attention you’re getting
following the ethics hearing. Can you comment?”

“There’s nothing really to comment on. I should have stayed
more engaged with social media from the day I got here. That was my mistake.
Had I done that, I would have been called the iCongressman all along.” If he
had listened to me from the beginning, he would have been.

“So you are okay with it?”

“I wish Americans were using social media to comment on
things of substance instead of this carnival I’m in, but I’m glad they’re
getting involved in the political process again.”

You would think I would be used to getting ambushed by the
media. In a scene eerily similar to what happened on my front lawn during our
campaign oh so long ago, we were accosted trying to get into the Cannon
Building. Ten minutes later, the congressman is still answering questions.

“Congressman, what about reports surfacing that you
orchestrated the story about the involvement of the House leadership and lobby
firm Ibram & Reed to hide your illegal actions?”

“You guys are all capable journalists, so stop allowing
yourselves to be spoon-fed and do some digging of your own.
If I told you I found a Thai hooker with a snorkel on,
lying flex-cuffed in a bathtub full of cherry Jell-O at Johnston Albright’s
house, would you take my word for it, or would you verify it first?”

“That’s not a believable claim.”

“Neither is yours,” the
congressman says with an amused laugh. “I have to get going, folks. Thanks for
the chat,” the congressman says just before we weave our way to the entrance.

We led every newscast and found
ourselves on the front page of every newspaper the day after his spectacle in
the hearing. Headlines reading “Flipping Out,” “Congressman Flips
Off
Committee,” and “Flip You!” screamed from the pages of
the
New York Times
,
Los Angeles Times
,
Chicago Tribune
, and every paper in between.

As evidenced by the horde we
just encountered, the story hasn’t lost any interest in the four days since.
The talking heads have been going nuts over the Bennit hearing on the cable
news channels every night. Panels of experts have nearly started riots on their
sets over their defense of one side or another. Mister B may have reignited ‘
Bennitmania
’ with the American people, but he’s got the
establishment tearing themselves to pieces on television.

“A hooker and
Jell-O?”
Vince asks the congressman
when we move into the grand foyer and are far enough away from the press to not
be concerned about anyone overhearing. Vince is known for some classic
one-liners of his own, and is beaming like a proud father that his boss is
still equally capable. It’s been a while since we have heard one.

“Too much?” he asks in reply.

“No, it’s good. I can’t wait to
see that on YouTube,” Vanessa chimes in, already no doubt thinking about the
headline for it.

We make our way down the hall in
silence, saving any further discussion for the quiet privacy of our sanctuary.
Walking in, I conclude it’s not so private after all. The flurry of activity of
the staff is something I’ve never seen before.

“Okay, will one of you please
tell me
why am I suddenly being bombarded with tweets about hookers and
Jell-O?” Kylie demands playfully as we cross into the congressman’s outer
office.

“Priceless! It won’t be long before that’s trending,” Brian
observes, content with the prospect of making sure that happens.

The congressman gives Kylie a kiss and a hug then waves us
all into his office, Vince closing the door behind us. The gang all headed
south down I-95 from Millfield yesterday. Pissed that they missed the fireworks
at the committee meeting, they aren’t about to skip the show at the final vote
on the House Floor.

“Since we’re only campaign staff, are we allowed to talk
about this here?” Amanda asks, sensing that there probably is some line between
official and campaign duties.

“They are about to throw me out on my ass. Ask me if I give
a damn,” the congressman says pleasantly, but with a tone that lets us know
what he thinks about the rules right now.

“Let’s start with you, Emilee,” I say as we all take our
seats on the couches and chairs in the office.

“The aptly named ‘Congressman Flips Out in D.C.’ is setting
records at YouTube. So far, over forty-five million views in the first
twenty-four hours and over three hundred million in the last four days.” The
congressman
whistles,
and even Kylie looks impressed.
I’m not surprised. Politicians doing something unexpected rates right up there
with stupid pranks and cat videos in terms of what people will invest a couple
of minutes to watch.

“The best part is they are following the link to our site we
posted at the end of the video,” Brian adds. “I checked Google Analytics this
morning.”

“Google what?”
Peyton asks.

“Analytics.
The short explanation
is it allows us to track where web traffic comes from. It’s very exciting.”

“You make me so hot when you talk geek,” Peyton responds
playfully. “Please don’t stop,” she pants as she unbuttons the top button of
her shirt. Brian turns bright red before trying to continue.

“Uh, yeah, uh … anyway, uh …”

“Peyton, knock it off or we’ll never get through this.
Another thirty seconds and Vince will start baying over there,” the congressman
scolds with a laugh. It’s been almost two years since we were all in a
classroom together, and yet nothing feels like it has changed.

“Anyway, the hyperlinks from YouTube account for almost
eighty-five percent of the traffic that visits the
Meet the
iCandidates
website I set up. Many of the drop offs from the main site are to individual
icandidate sites in districts. Our allies are getting a lot of traction.”

“All the icandidates announced their campaigns on Monday
night after the hearing,” Amanda reports. “They have gotten a huge bump in the
polls because of all the publicity surrounding us.”

Amanda has taken on the role of liaison between our campaign
and the others. Congressman Bennit made it very clear to us that he didn’t
trust that being left to Blake and Senator Viano. Much to my dismay, he is
warming up to the former. I’ll question his sanity when he trusts the latter.

“Publicity is an understatement,” Vince states. “The media
has gone ballistic over this. Watch this.”

Vince turns on the television and tunes into CNN. Sure
enough, they are talking about us on their morning show. He then flips to a few
others.
Fox & Friends
,
Morning Joe
, and
CBS This Morning
are all the same.
GMA
and
Today
had moved
on to other stories, but no doubt we got some attention on those programs as
well. Congressman Bennit is the hot topic of the week, and all of the networks
are cashing in on us again.

“Like, where are they getting their information from?”
Peyton asks. Vince shakes his head and we all look at Kylie.

“I may have leaked an item or two and pointed others in the
right direction,” she says coyly.

“Nice!” Xavier, Emilee, and Vanessa say in unison.

“I’m sure your current employer will just love that,” I add.
It’s no secret that the relationship Kylie has with the
Washington Post
is a tense one. Even working as an investigative
journalist, they have shielded her from covering almost anything to do with
Mister Bennit to maintain the appearance of integrity and unbiased reporting.
Probably a smart move on their part, but she isn’t on board with the decision.

“Not one bit, but
screw
them. I
have been on the sidelines long enough.”

“Okay, I hate to be the guy who brings up unpleasant
subjects again, but what are the odds we survive the vote tomorrow?”

“Afraid you’re wasting your summer again, X?” the
congressman chides.

Xavier asked the same thing back when we first started the
campaign for Mister Bennit two years ago. He was a great basketball player in
high school and knew that he would eventually land the scholarship he earned to
play at Syracuse. He didn’t want to waste his time back then, but somehow this
is different.

“No, it’s not like that Mister … Congressman B.”

“Mister is fine, Michael works too.”

“Yeah,
that’s
still not
gonna
happen,” Vince opines from his spot along the wall.

“Honestly, it’s good working with you guys again. I don’t
want it to end tomorrow,” Xavier confesses.

“It’s not going to,” Vanessa reassures, “but where do we
stand?”

“They are going to win by forty votes according to the
majority whip’s staff,” Peyton says with a flip of her hair.

“How do you know that?” Kylie asks.

“I spent some time last night at
Ebbit’s
something-or-other. Some guys started hitting on me and said they worked for
the Democratic whip. I played the dumb college girl visiting a friend at GW,
and by the third drink, they were telling me anything I wanted to hear.”

“You got served in one of Washington’s most notorious
restaurants within stone’s throw from the White House?” Congressman Bennit asks
incredulously.

“Yeah, why?
Is it hard?” I just
shake my head as the others let out a chuckle. I love Peyton, and while she may
come across as a dumb blonde, that girl is one of the slyest people I know.

“There’s no way we can make up that many votes in a day,” I
say, dejected. I wish I could be more optimistic, but I’ve been in this town a
year and I get crushed every time I do.

“I don’t get it. Why would they vote ‘yes’ if they know
about the video? Why would they support a lie?”

“Some of them don’t condone flipping tables at committee hearings.
Other members are all hanging their hats on Congressman Reye’s testimony,”
Vanessa practically spits while saying. She loathes disloyalty.

“The extremes in the media are doing the same. That clip of
his testimony is being shown again and again to provide cover for their
favorite candidates so they can vote ‘yes’ to please the leadership.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“They can’t hide, Peyton, so they need political cover.
Usually Americans are too apathetic to care what goes on here. Thanks to all
the Facebook and Twitter comments, constituents are paying attention now.”

“Yeah, the traitorous bastard’s lies are going to sink us.”

“Just when you guys thought you had a friend down here,
right, Vanessa?” Amanda asks. She shakes her head in disgust.

“He’ll get his, but you’d better tell him to stay away from
me until then,” Vince adds with the dramatic pounding of his fist into his open
hand.

Kylie and Michael share a smile, one that I used to see in
school between two people sharing a secret. What could they possibly be hiding?
I begin to wonder what I’m missing. I’m certain it’s not something he has
shared with me, so now I need to know why he is leaving me in the dark again.

SENATOR VIANO

“Let’s end with predictions. Is Michael Bennit going to
survive tomorrow’s vote to expel him? Ryan?” the host asks the one of the
guests being shown on split-screen via satellite as she winds up her interview.

“I don’t think so, no.”

“Gabe?” the attractive brunette queries her other guest.

“Bennit did nothing wrong. Vulnerable incumbents won’t vote
to expel him.”

“So he’ll be spared?”

“Yes, he will.”

“Thank you both for being with us this morning.”

“They still are talking about this?” Gary booms from the
adjacent white sofa when he sits down.

When I was in the Senate, the only time staff was ever
allowed in my house was during the extravagant parties I would throw with my
husband. He is out of town so
often,
it was the only
time he ever interacted with anyone in my political circles.

Gary is more than just staff, and he doesn’t technically
work for me anyway. I have been running a low profile since I partnered with
Bennit on this icandidate experiment, so having him meet me here was the
logical thing to do.

“Every channel,” I respond, muting the huge flat-screen
television mounted to the wall. “What have you learned?”

“James is panicking. He’s got Ibram & Reed calling in
every marker they have trying to keep this thing afloat.”

“He doesn’t like to lose.”

“Yeah, that’s apparent. He must have the leadership of both
parties tied in knots. They had a meeting and agreed to do whatever it takes to
keep their caucuses in line. As of this morning, they have the votes to get rid
of him, but it’s going to be much closer than everyone thought.”

“Giving away the keys to the castle, are they?”

“Something
like
that. Even my boss
is getting in on the action.”

 
The Bennit expulsion
has become a political risk for the members, so they will demand concessions
for their votes. The House is filled with opportunists, so they will leverage
this to get pork barrel spending for their districts, choice committee
assignments, and anything else they can think of.

“This is coming together much faster than I ever dreamt.
Each of the one hundred icandidates is climbing in the polls, so the
establishment has to be getting very scared.”

“It’s going to be standing room only tomorrow, so I’ll save
you a seat.”

“Thanks, Gary. If all goes as planned, I should be able to
rescue you from your life serving the weak and helpless congressman you got
saddled with.”

Gary nods in assent. He’s my loyal soldier, trusted
confidant, and soon we will once again be the toast of this town. I just feel
bad that it will be not soon enough to spare him the agony of working for a
buffoon.

“Anything you need me to do, Senator?” Gary asks.

“No, we let tomorrow play out before we make any moves. I
need you to keep your ear to the ground though. Michael is less than
forthcoming with me about his plans, and I prefer not to get blindsided again.”

Gary regards me for a moment and I know what’s coming next.
He hasn’t quoted
The Amazing Spiderman
in a while.

 
“We all have secrets:
the ones we keep ... and the ones that are kept from us.”