The Heart of Texas (14 page)

They stayed locked in the intimate embrace until Jack rolled off and to the side, sleep pulling him to cuddle into Riley's side.

"Know what, Jack?" Riley said tiredly, pulling Jack in closer.

"Wha'?" Jack replied, on the very edges of sleep.

"You, cowboy, are worth
every
dollar I paid."

Chapter 28

Jack pulled from post-coital bliss to temper, quicker than you could snap a finger.

"What the fuck, Riley?" he bit out angrily, pushing away from the furnace of his husband and sitting upright. Riley just blinked up at him, a blank look on his face, a blank look that quickly turned to stunned shame. He too scrambled to sit up, the bandages pulling and the sheets tangling round his legs.

Jack jumped off the bed, pulling on the discarded jeans and T, all the time ignoring Riley and his pleading words. "I didn't mean it that way, Jack, please. It was a joke."

Jack silenced him with a sweep of his hand. "Way to make your husband feel like a whore," he bit out, leaving and slamming the door behind him.

Stunned, it took Riley a few seconds to get his head around what he'd just done. It had been a joke, and as usual, his nerves and his stupid dry sense of humor had backfired on him. Scrambling to his feet, swaying at the rush of blood to his head, he picked up the jeans and tee he'd been wearing, and sat on the edge of the bed trying to pull the damn denim over his uncooperative legs. His stomach was still sticky with cum, and he wiped at it with furious sweeps of cotton bedding, then pulled on his tee and rushed to the door, dragging it open and calling after his escaping husband.

Donna walked out of the kitchen, a mug of coffee in her hand, a curious Jim standing beside her.

"Riley? What's wrong? Jack went out of here like he was lit on fire."

"It's me. I fucked up," Riley said on his way to the front door. He opened it to see the truck was still there. That meant Jack hadn't left the D. He slipped on his sneakers.

"Riley, sweetheart…" Donna's voice was quiet and Riley looked back at her with determination on his face.

He couldn't stop to talk or exchange pleasantries. "Donna, I need to—"

"The barn, the old one at the back. He'll be with his babies," she explained simply, and Riley had the grace to blush at his rudeness. "Riley, one last thing. I don't know what's wrong, but if the two of you need to talk about something, make sure you listen to the stuff he doesn't say." Riley nodded, shuffling down the steps, his heart pounding in his chest and his breathing more than a little labored. He needed to slow down, or by the time he reached the barn, he wasn't going to have the power of rational speech, let alone be conscious.

He picked his way past the debris of the first barn, his eyes drawn to the charcoal blackness of the charred wood. His head filled with images from that night, of Jack worried and scared for him. The images mixed with the feeling Riley had building inside him, want, need, desire— love. He couldn't love a man. He wasn't gay, had never been gay, and he didn't know what to think.

He rounded the corner, the side of the older red barn looming in the diminishing light of evening. He saw no sign of Jack yet. He wanted to call out, but then he didn't want Jack to have time to run, because damn it, Jack
needed
to hear what Riley had to say this time. When he saw his husband, it almost drove him to his knees in self-disgust. This strong, proud man sat in the hay, the foal's head in his lap, crooning nonsense words to her. It was all Riley could do not to drop to his knees beside Jack and just beg for forgiveness, when what he needed to do was get Jack to understand why he'd said what he said.

"Jack," he finally said into the dim interior. Jack refused to look up and meet his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry. I know I upset you but—"

"I'm not a girl. I don't need touchy-feely crap, Riley, so quit with the explanation. Let's just chalk it up to experience. I know where I stand. I won't forget again."

Riley was stunned, completely and totally speechless. Is that what Jack thought? Carefully he lowered himself to sit next to Jack, curling a hand in the foal's soft mane and scratching idly.

"At the beginning, Jack," he started softly, "maybe a few weeks ago, I could have accepted that crap from you. When this all started, hell, I owned you. I bought you, paid for you. In my mind you were just another pawn in the Hayes game to get what I wanted." Frustrated he bent his head, wiping a hand across his face. How the hell was he going to get Jack to understand how he'd changed? "You meant nothing to me. As for Beth…" He paused, knowing he needed to be totally honest about this before Jack would believe anything else he said. "Beth meant nothing to me. When Steve told me what had happened to her, it was just another mark in the column for screwing with my family and choosing you to do it with." He stopped again. Honesty was hard when it meant opening himself up like this.

"I don't think I'll ever totally forgive you for that," Jack half-whispered, and Riley felt his stomach twist and his heart fall.

"That isn't me though, Jack, not the real me. I don't mean to hurt people. I'm not the man who buys people. I'm not like
them
. But— I don't expect you to accept that at face value." He pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and dropping his chin to rest on his knees. This was one of the hardest conversations he'd ever had. "If the only way to beat them is to play their own game then, hell, I knew I could do that. So way back, when I first approached you, it wasn't to give Beth support or to fall in love with you. You were just a commodity, something I could use as leverage."

Jack looked sideways at him, clearly picking up on a couple of things Riley had said. "You betrayed Steve's trust. He was your friend."

"My only real friend, apart from Eden," Riley said sadly. "And yeah, he was just another pawn. One day he might forgive me, although I'm not holding my breath. He didn't come to the hospital to see me. I know he was only there because Beth needed him."

"Doesn't it hurt that this only friend of yours hates you for what you did?"

Riley looked up sharply. What did Jack want from him? "You want me to sit and cry to show you I hurt? 'Cause I could do that for you if it would convince you. At the drop of a hat, I could show you how this is screwing with me, but I can't let myself do it. If I start to let it out, I feel like it's gonna destroy me."

Jack nodded. "So that’s how it started," he prompted carefully, leaving a silence that Riley had to fill.

"Then it changed. I don't know when or how. I wish I could go back and touch that moment, and hold it, that very minute that the real Riley started to dig for the surface. It could have been when I saw Beth so obviously pregnant, so pale, or when Steve knocked me to the floor and told me he hated me. Maybe it was just now when I hurt you so bad because I wasn't thinking. I don't know. I just know what I have with you, however you label it and however long you want it to last, it's real." Riley's voice hitched, twenty-seven years of Hayes pressure pushing down on his shoulders, forcing emotions back into his heart. "I don't know how else to say it. I don't see you as a pawn, or an asset. I see you as a person, my husband, my lover. I don't own you, and I don't want to own you. I want to take the pre-nup and tear it into pieces, I want to take that damn contract and burn it to ashes. Money shouldn't define your life, and it shouldn't define mine or what we have." He stopped, suddenly aware that he was still talking and of how silent and still Jack was. Maybe he had really fucked this up. Jack hadn't given any indication he wanted this thing to go past the year, had never said a word, and always joked about counting down the days until his freedom from
Het-boy
. "Jack?"

"I get that, Riley. All of that. Thing is
I know.
I see you changing, see that you're different. Maybe I just put too much on to you, expecting you to know what I needed, what I wanted."

"What do you want? Tell me, and if I can give it to you—"

"I want to see Beth healthy, my niece born, and Beth safe. I want a husband who's also my lover. I want Riley Campbell-Hayes in my life. I can't see past the year with him, but I know what I want now."

Riley held out his free hand, and Jack curled his fingers into it, linking them. His eyes remained steady on Riley's.

"Okay," Riley finally said. "Okay."

Chapter 29

Donna didn't seem surprised at the visitor on her doorstep. Sandra guessed she'd been expecting her arrival for a few days. "Sandra," she said politely.

"Donna," she started carefully, "I wonder if I might speak to Riley?"

"He's in the barn with Jack. They should be back soon," she said, widening the door and indicating Sandra should come in, which she did, but not before hesitating on the threshold.

Sandra followed Donna to the kitchen, her eyes widening at the sight of Jim sitting at the wooden trestle table. He immediately stood, spilling coffee over the side of his mug, an instant blush climbing his cheeks. They had seen each other on a few occasions at Hayes Oil, but never in a situation where they needed to talk. Both of them just stared, years of history separating them.

"Iced tea, Sandra, or perhaps coffee?"

"Tea would be lovely, thank you," Sandra replied, her southern politeness her armor. With that she could cope with anything.

"I want to thank you," Jim started, and Sandra blinked nervously.
Please don't say anything that is going to break me.
"For telling me that Riley needed me."

"You're very welcome. He did need you," she said carefully, and slid into the seat diagonally across from Jim, thanking Donna for the iced tea and sipping on it slowly.

No one spoke. It wasn't uncomfortable silence, not really. It was thoughtful and only broken when the front door opened and laughter spilled into the house. Riley and Jack appeared, holding hands and smiling at each other. Jack saw her first. He stopped in his tracks, tightened his grip on Riley's hand, and moved closer to him, protective.

"Mom," Riley said simply, waiting for Jack to release his grip and then closing the distance to draw her into a patented Riley hug "S'good to see you. We were gonna come to the house tomorrow when I got the all clear." Sandra stiffened in her son's embrace, still unnerved by his exuberant shows of affection. Then she pulled back.

"I came to talk," she said. "Is there somewhere we can go that is a bit more… private?"

"Y'all can use the good room," Donna offered. "It's the one room we keep tidy, and there's no horse smell."

Sandra nodded her thanks, and Riley offered his arm, chatting about something to do with foals that went straight over her head. He shut the door behind them and she sat on one of the brown leather sofas, opening her purse and pulling out a brown envelope.

"I want to say something first," she began. Riley settled to sit opposite, his face an open book of worry.

"Uh huh."

"First, I want to say that I'm sorry, no, more than sorry, about the way the family has treated you over the past years, Riley. You were not a child from my marriage, but I want you to know you were a child born from love, and I never regretted the deals I made to keep you, not for one day."

"Momma?"

"I regret losing Jim. I regret what it did to him to have you taken away, and I regret that Gerald hated you every day since you were born." She stopped, her voice not quite so steady, nor forged of iron. "I want to try and make it up to you one day. I don't know how I can do that, or how I begin to win back your love and affection, but I want to try."

* * * *

Riley couldn't bear to hear any more. He rose and crossed to sit next to her, capturing her hands in his, the skin smooth under his touch. "You're my momma. I may not understand you sometimes, but I'll always love you, and you don't have to try." Sandra lifted wet eyes to his, the same hazel green as his, a look of hope in them. What else could he say? He would just sit there, take what she had to say to him, and then just go and find Jack and maybe have some more, frankly awesome, sex.

Finally Sandra lifted her hand to lay it flat on his cheek.

"I couldn't be prouder of you," she said. "Despite
us,
you grew up into a fine young man."

"Thank you, Momma," Riley said simply, pressing his cheek against her hand. There was hope here, and then it all came crashing down.

"The Campbells own half of what we have."

His world turned on its axis as certainly as if she'd called the Campbells in and told them to their faces. He couldn't make sense of her words.

"I don't understand," Riley said carefully as his mom handed him the folder.

"I mean it, Riley. In there is every shred of evidence. Hayes Oil should have been split fifty-fifty with Alan Campbell. It isn't all ours, half of it belongs to Donna and her family."

"Okay," he started carefully. "Then we give it to them and help them to get what is rightfully theirs." What they should do seemed simple to Riley, absolutely black and white.

"Riley, listen to me. I want that too, but I also wanted to give you the chance to bury this, to put an end to all the drama and the worry. If you show this to them, you stand to lose everything. They can wipe Hayes Oil out with one clever lawyer. You could lose it all, your money, the land, the offices, your cars—"

"Momma." Riley stood, pulling Sandra with him. "You don't understand. I don't want any of that." He placed a hand over his own heart. "I think I have everything I want or need in here."

* * * *

Donna thought it looked like a council of war. Beth had called Steve, reasoning that her fiancé should be there for it, and he now sat with Beth. She and Sandra were sitting opposite them, and Jack and Riley leaned back against the sink. Josh had arrived not long before. Anna, his wife, had settled their kids in the TV room with game controllers and snacks and was now half sitting on Josh's lap. Jim was poring over the papers, flicking from one to another, from one statement of intent to another contract, to bank statements aged with time. Finally he lifted his head to look at Sandra, his eyes sad, resigned. It was Donna he spoke to though, Donna who had supported and loved Alan Campbell in his hours of despair.

"It's true, all of it," he said warily, wondering what the Campbells were going to say now.

"How long have you known about this?" Donna asked Sandra, willing her to be honest. Sandra looked down at the table.

"I copied papers from the very start, hid them in a safety deposit box. I wanted my own leverage if he ever went back on our deal with Jim and Riley. I never really looked at them. But I know I always suspected it of him. I was just too scared to do anything about it." She looked over at Riley, who smiled encouragingly, and then back at Donna, waiting for Donna to make her decision.

"I don't want it," Donna finally stated. Jim knew the hate and betrayal had destroyed her marriage. They had spoken of it in detail over the last few days. It had driven her husband to an early death. She had already told him she wanted no part of any battle for money.

"Mom," Josh said, exchanging a loaded look with his wife before nodding carefully. "We don't want it either." Anna smiled a soft smile at her husband. "I have what I want, a business that supports my family, a wife I love, kids I couldn't be more proud of, and a family that I'm close to. I don't want any part of Hayes Oil or the money."

"Elizabeth?" Donna prompted gently.

"I want to live to see my daughter," Beth said softly. "That's all I want."

Steve wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in close. "Fighting a war isn't going to help that," he said to everyone in the room.

"It's just you, Jack. What's your decision, son?"