The Healing Stream (13 page)

Back at Fiddlers’ Green, Tessa’s routine was very different from before her holiday. In two short weeks Deirdre had found an independence that had changed her life.

‘Your aunt and uncle have been amazingly kind,’ Julian told her when she put her bike in the one-time carriage house just as he was getting his car out. ‘A day hasn’t gone by when the child hasn’t taken herself down to the farm. I could have bought her an electric chair before, but on her own where could she have gone with it? It was her lucky day when you came here, my dear. Without you none of it would have happened.’

‘Aunt Naomi is very special. From the first time I took Deirdre down there they took to each other. It’s being useful that’s important, don’t you think? And she is useful. Aunt Naomi doesn’t make concessions because Deirdre’s in a chair; she works as hard as anyone.’ Then, laughing, ‘A bit of a cheek, really: you pay me to be a carer-oblique-friend and I take her down to the farm to be an unpaid worker.’

‘There are things more important than money,’ he answered. ‘You had a good holiday, I hope?’

She nodded. ‘The best ever.’ She made sure her voice gave nothing away; ‘best ever’ had a hearty sound to it, the sort of comment that might come from a girl who had spent a fortnight hiking with an old school friend.

And so began what she thought of as a new period in her life, for it could never be simply a continuation of what had gone prior to the glorious fortnight. The thought of it coloured her every minute; no matter what she was doing it was there at the back of her mind. She felt loved; she felt that everything that had gone before had been leading her to the glorious fulfilment of sharing her life with Giles. Each morning when she arrived at Fiddlers’ Green she hoped to hear that he was back in Devon. But one week, then a second passed. Please, please make today be the day he comes, she pleaded silently, for with every passing day it became more imperative that she talked to him. She knew so little and he was the only one she could talk to. Could it be that her period had gone out of kilter because she had made love for the first time? Perhaps she would just miss a month. If only he were here he would make everything right, and even if she wasn’t twenty-one no one would stop them getting married.

She had been home for five weeks when, as she was laying the table for their evening meal and Richard was scrubbing his hands in the outer scullery, Naomi said, ‘Fancy your forgetting to tell us about Giles Lampton. They must know at Fiddlers’ Green.’

‘Know? Know what? I think they said he was away. Is he back?’ Please, please let him be back. Now it’ll be all right. He’ll talk to them and make them realize we love each other and he’ll get a special licence. Please, please . . . But her silent sentence didn’t get finished.

At Naomi’s announcement Richard came back into the room, still drying his newly scrubbed hands.

‘So Marlhampton has lost its nearest claim to celebrity,’ he said casually. Then, with far more interest, ‘I say, that smells good. Are you ready for me to start carving?’ Food held priority over the comings and goings of Giles Lampton.

‘Yes, I think that’s everything.’ But Naomi couldn’t dismiss Giles so easily. Perhaps it was feminine intuition, but she sensed that his departure would upset Tessa more than she would let them see. ‘How funny that they didn’t tell you at Fiddlers’ Green, Tessa. Or perhaps they did and you didn’t think to mention it. When he’s around he spends so much time there. I’d have thought that Deirdre would have said something to me, too, for that matter; she knew you did all that typing for him not so long ago.’

‘They must have got it wrong in the village, Auntie. He’s been away for some time so I expect they are putting two and two together.’ It took all Tessa’s acting ability to sound no more interested than the other two while her heart was banging so hard that she wondered they couldn’t hear it.

‘Oh no, it’s true enough. Mavis Bright saw the notice in an estate agent’s window in Deremouth. She said she was pretty certain it was his cottage, but when she took Herbie, her spaniel, for a walk she drove that way and let him run in Downing Wood. I wonder the agent wasted a For Sale board on it; no one much ever walks that way to see it.’

‘Giles has a house in Spain,’ Tessa threw in casually. ‘He calls it his retreat, just like he did the Downing Wood place.’ But this was stupid. Why was she pretending that he was no more to her than just a friend of the Masters? Anyway, if what she was getting more and more certain about was true and she was to have his baby, even they couldn’t raise objections to her getting married without waiting until her birthday. But for the present, the baby was
her
secret, hers and, as soon as Giles got in touch with her, his too. ‘He’s out there now.’

‘So Marlhampton will have to interest itself in someone else,’ was as far as Richard’s interest stretched as he deftly sliced the home-produced topside of beef.

Naomi was uneasy. There was something in Tessa’s expression that warned her that she didn’t believe he wasn’t coming back to Downing Wood. But she said nothing, simply passed the vegetable dish across the table to Richard . . . and waited.

‘Look,’ Tessa blurted, her voice coming out louder than she intended and taking the couple by surprise. Naomi instinctively held herself in readiness. Whatever was coming spelled trouble. ‘I wanted to tell you but Giles said I must wait until my birthday. He thought you would be against our getting married because I’m a lot younger than he is.’

‘Married?’ Richard put down his knife and fork and turned his full attention on her. Naomi’s mouth felt dry, her heart was thumping. His voice was as cold as steel; surely Tessa must sense the change in his manner? ‘Married? To a man you hardly know? I’ve never heard such utter rot! Just be thankful he’s cleared off. You may be sure he won’t come this way again.’

‘But he
will.
’
Tessa gave up all pretence of eating her food. Her voice was strident as she looked first at Richard then at Naomi, then back to Richard. Was it fear or anger that drove her? She put Naomi in mind of a trapped animal. ‘He will come back. And I
do
know him. I lied to you about Natalie. Giles rented a cottage in Shropshire.
That’s
where we spent the fortnight, just as if we were married.’

‘Bloody man!’ Richard shouted. His voice was as beyond his control as the tic in his cheek. Pushing his plate to one side he glared at Tessa. She saw his expression as being full of hate; only Naomi understood his hurt and disappointment. ‘To take an innocent young girl—’

‘I’m not stupid.’ First he’d raised his voice, now Tessa raised hers. ‘I knew just what I was doing. So now you know. Just because he’s decided to sell the cottage doesn’t mean he’s getting rid of me too. Of course he isn’t.’

‘And you try and make me believe you’re not stupid! Use your sense for Christ’s sake and see him for what he is. If he’d thought of you as anything more than an easy companion for a holiday he would have talked to us about his intentions.’ Only Naomi noticed the sudden change in him, and even she couldn’t put a name to it. He seemed more distant. Tessa was still talking but what she was saying didn’t register with either of them . . . If Giles was giving up the cottage in Downing Wood he would spend more time in Spain . . . after they were married that would be their main home. Words, just words, while Naomi’s mind concentrated on Richard, and Richard seemed unaware of both of them. His eyes were closed and his breathing was fast and shallow.

‘Richard?’ she said softly, reaching to lay her hand over his. ‘Let it go, Richard. Eat your food, darling.’

Opening his eyes he looked at her. It was as if Tessa wasn’t there at all.

‘Bloody indigestion,’ he said breathlessly.

‘You started to eat too quickly. Take it slowly. You said you hadn’t had a proper meal all day.’

He shook his head.

‘I think there’s a drop of brandy in the sideboard cupboard,’ Naomi said. ‘Tessa, can you get it?’ The previous conversation might not have happened.

‘No. It’s easing. Doesn’t last. Had it in the market.’ He opened his eyes and looked directly at Naomi. ‘Frightened me, I’ll tell you. But it passed. Then later, I had to stop on the way home. Better now – almost gone.’

‘You’ve been too long without food. There’s some soup from yesterday I can warm. Would that be easier to digest? Or porridge?’

Recovering, he looked at her with an expression that made Tessa feel uncomfortable to witness. ‘Better now,’ he whispered. ‘I’ll have that brandy and sit out in the fresh air for ten minutes. Can you keep mine warm for later?’

Outside he sat on the five-bar gate gazing unseeingly at the lower field, a field that rose to the stile leading into the High Meadow. They assumed his thoughts to be on what Tessa had told him. She let herself imagine that he was seeing reason and when Giles came back from Spain and got in touch with her she would not only tell him about the baby but, also, that she had talked to Richard and he was in agreement for the wedding to go ahead.

Naomi’s mind had no room for Giles Lampton. She had never known Richard to be ill. You couldn’t say he was ill, she corrected herself; a twinge of indigestion was nothing to worry about. She wanted to follow him outside to reassure herself that the fresh air had put him back on form but believed he needed to be by himself to think about what Tessa had told them.

It was with relief that she saw him coming back across the yard.

‘We’ve had ours –’ she greeted him – ‘but I’ve kept yours warm in the oven. Can you manage it now?’

‘I feel fine again. I’ll eat it slowly this time,’ he said. Then, putting his arm around her in a casual embrace, ‘Sorry, love. Where’s Tessa gone?’

‘Out on her bike. Oh dear, what a mess. It’s all his fault. Tessa would never have deceived us.’

‘Poor kid. Things hurt so badly when you’re young.’

‘We’re so lucky.’ She nestled her head against his shoulder. ‘Now, I’ll get your dinner out of the oven and you mind you don’t bolt it.’

As she had so many times, Tessa took the Deremouth road then, just before she came to the long bridge over the Dere estuary, she turned right towards Otterton St Giles and Downing Wood. She knew it was crazy but she felt she would see his car on the patch of wasteland by the side of the cottage. But there was nothing, only the estate agent’s For Sale board. Pressing her face to the window she saw the living room was still furnished. Perhaps that was how he had bought it. Nothing there had been of his choosing and so he would sell it on.

He must have phoned the estate agent. Or perhaps he had put it all in the hands of his solicitor in London before he left for Spain. Yes, that must have been what he’d done. As soon as he got back to England he would come to Devon – or, even better, he would phone her at Fiddlers’ Green and suggest that she meet him somewhere. She could easily make an excuse to Mr Masters that she needed a day off. Richard and Naomi would assume she was working as usual . . . then she pulled her thoughts up short. More lies, more deceit. But now there would be no need – already she’d told them at home about him. Imagine their surprise – especially Richard’s – when she arrived with Giles. She didn’t doubt him; she was certain that one day soon, even if it didn’t work out in exactly the way she’d been imagining, Giles would come back to her. Sitting on the wooden bench in the porch of the cottage she closed her eyes as she let her mind go back over that wonderful fortnight. Memories crowded back to her: the glory of the nights, a glory more wonderful than she would have believed possible. And at home they thought he wouldn’t come back! Of course he would. It had all been as wonderful for him as it had for her. Hand in hand they had walked for miles on the open hills. Giles had known the district well. Long Mynd, the Devil’s Seat, and what was the name of that hill she had called the top of the world? No one could approach unseen, they’d been utterly alone, cut off from the world and yet part of the nature that surrounded them on that overcast June afternoon; with her eyes closed she could still seem to see the clouds scudding fast above them as she’d lain on her back, gazing upwards; then the pageantry of nature was complete. That was the only time they’d made love with their clothes on, yet the wonder of it had been just as intense. They had been at one with the rolling hills and the wild sky. Except for that first afternoon and that one time on top of the world, Giles had been careful he wouldn’t make her pregnant – so he’d said. So that was when she must have conceived their child.

It was getting dark even though the days were at their longest. It would take her more than an hour to get home even if she pedalled her hardest. So many evenings when she’d been out with Giles, she had lied to them and said she was keeping Deirdre company, but this time she’d not said where she was going. She mustn’t be late: they would worry about her and think she was upset and frightened that Giles wouldn’t come back to her. She wasn’t frightened; of course he would come. Perhaps he was on the train travelling through France even now. Once out from the shelter of the porch, she raised her head and looked up at the darkening sky, then closed her eyes again as she pleaded . . . Let him come soon . . . I want to tell him about the baby . . . don’t make us wait for months . . . the baby would be born if I had to wait until my birthday . . . Let us be together, please, please . . . I’m not frightened. Then she wheeled her bike out on to the dusky lane and set off for home.

She rode as fast as she could, aware that Richard and Naomi wouldn’t want to go to bed while she was still out. On the one or two occasion they’d known she was being taken out to dinner by Giles by way of a thank you for the work she had done for him they hadn’t waited up. But they’d see it as different for her to be riding alone after dark.

‘I’m glad Tessa’s out,’ Naomi said as she finished clearing all traces of their meal. ‘Such a lovely evening. I’ll help you shut up outside and, after that, there’s no one here but us.’

Richard’s mouth twitched into a hint of a smile. ‘Would the woman be tempting me?’

‘And if she is?’ She stood very close to him, moving her face against his neck. ‘Do you feel better now you’ve had a proper meal? Tessa has her own key – we don’t need to wait up.’ As soon as she said it she regretted it; she could feel his body grow tense.