The Half-Stitched Amish Quilting Club (38 page)

When they’d left the emergency room and stepped outside, she’d been surprised to see that it was already dark. After they’d arrived at the hospital, she’d lost all track of time. With the paperwork that had to be filled out and then waiting for a doctor to look at Stuart’s finger to evaluate what needed to be done, every minute seemed to blend into the next. She just wanted to go home and collapse into bed.

It had really shaken Pam up hearing that Stuart had cut a tendon in his finger and would require surgery on it next week. The fact that he’d cut it while helping her clean the hummingbird feeders made her feel guilty—not to mention that she’d been nagging him about not getting his wall hanging done. If she’d only kept her mouth shut, the accident might not have happened.

“Sure hope the kids are doing okay at the Andersons’,” Stuart said, breaking into Pam’s thoughts.

“They’re fine. I called them while you were with the doctor and told Betty we’d be home as soon as we could,” Pam said, looking over at Stuart. “Betty said not to worry, because she and Lewis were enjoying Devin and Sherry so much. She even asked if the kids could spend the night.”

Stuart nodded. “That’s good.”

Pam appreciated the Andersons. It was like having a set of grandparents right next door. Devin and Sherry loved spending time with them and vice versa. Whenever the kids found something interesting in the yard, such as a frog or a grasshopper, they would run next door and show Betty and Lewis as if they’d never seen such creatures before. The Andersons’ kids were all grown and out of the house, so when the older couple had an opportunity to spend time with Devin and Sherry, they jumped at the chance. Pam hoped when the kids were grown and raising families of their own, that she and Stuart would be good grandparents.

She swallowed around the lump in her throat.
That is, if we’re still married by then
.

Even though Stuart had assured her that he wasn’t planning to get a divorce, she feared he might if things didn’t get better between them.

“I’m sorry I put you through all of this chaos tonight.” Stuart reached over with his good hand and patted Pam’s shoulder. “I could see how upset you were in the ER.”

Pam nodded and sighed, rubbing her temple. “I’m thankful you didn’t lose your finger.”

“No more thankful than I am. Just wish they could have done the surgery while we were already at the hospital.”

“I guess there’s a reason they didn’t, Stuart. Don’t worry though. Like the doctor said, the surgery will be scheduled for next week, and it will be performed as an outpatient procedure. He said the operation should be no more than an hour, so I’m sure you’ll do fine.” Pam tried to sound reassuring as she pushed the button to roll down her window. She needed some fresh air to help keep her focused until they got home. “Let me know if that’s too much air, and I can put the window up a little.”

“Thanks, but the night air feels good.”

Pam glanced over at Stuart again and noticed that he was looking at the bandage on his finger. “Does it hurt much?”

“Not really.” Stuart shook his head. “I thought it would hurt more than this, but I guess it’s still numb from the shot they gave me before they put the temporary stitches in.” He paused and laid his hand back in his lap. “Can you believe how crowded that ER was? I was beginning to think they’d never get to me.”

Pam was about to comment, but the lump in her throat wouldn’t let her get the words out. Her resolve was about gone. It hadn’t been easy to mask her fear of Stuart’s injury in front of Devin and Sherry and then remain positive for Stuart, getting him to the hospital and waiting in the ER, but now her ability to stay strong was slipping from her grasp.

“Pam, are you all right?”

“Oh Stuart!” Once the tears started, she couldn’t get them to stop. It was like floodgates opening, and her vision instantly became blurred. She had no choice but to pull over to the side of the road and turn off the engine. Once she did, the sobs came hard, and it was difficult to catch her breath. She put her head in her hands and cried like there was no tomorrow.

Stuart unbuckled his seat belt and touched her shoulder. “Honey, what’s the matter?”

Pam was glad Stuart was being patient with her, because it took a while to calm herself enough to speak again. “I was really scared when I saw so much blood coming from your finger. It was all I could do to keep my head and stay calm in front of the kids.” She nearly choked on a hiccup. “All I could think of was getting you to the hospital safely.” Another hiccup. “Oh Stuart, I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you.”

Stuart moved closer, and Pam had never felt more comforted than when he took her in his arms. Careful not to hurt Stuart’s injured finger, her arms tightened around his neck, and she started sobbing all over again.

Once she settled down some, she looked at Stuart, her chin quivering. “If … if you only knew how good it feels to have you hold me like this.” While Stuart gently smoothed a lock of Pam’s hair away from her face, she closed her eyes and felt like a little girl again. “I would have given anything to have my daddy hold me like this when I was scared of all those unseen things you imagine when you’re little. All I ever wanted was for him to take notice of me and say that he loved me and was proud of my accomplishments. I could be in the same room, watching TV with him, and he wouldn’t even notice that I was there. I thought I did everything right—my grades were good in school, and I never gave my parents any trouble. I would have even gone fishing with him if he’d asked me to, but of course, he never did. When I got older—” Pam took a deep breath, and the rest came out in a whisper. “I finally realized one day that my dad was self-centered and didn’t really care about me at all.” She didn’t think she had any more tears left, but now her weeping came out in a soft whimper.

Stuart held on to Pam and rocked her like a baby. She felt comforted, yet her mind swirled with nagging doubts. After opening up to him like this, would it make any difference in the way he treated her? Things were better between them tonight, but how would they be in the morning?

O
n Saturday morning, Star entered the kitchen and found her mother sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

“How’d you sleep last night?” Mom asked, looking up at Star.

“Not so well.” It was all Star could do to even look at Mom this morning, much less answer any questions.

“Me neither. I kept thinking of all the things we talked about last night, and I want you to know that I truly am sorry.”

Star poured herself a cup of coffee and stood staring out the window by the sink.

“I’ve made an important decision.”

Star turned around slowly and looked at Mom. “What’s that?”

Mom took a drink of her coffee before saying anything. When she set the cup down, she looked at Star and smiled. “I’m going to give you this old house.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll have no need of it after Mike and I get married, and I’m sure your grandma would have wanted you to have it rather than it being sold to strangers.”

“But what about the money you’d get if you sold the house?” Star questioned.

Mom shook her head. “I’ll be well taken care of after Mike and I are married, and since your job doesn’t pay much, you really can’t afford to get an apartment on your own. If you stay here, you’ll have all the memories of Grandma around you, not to mention a comfortable place to live and write your songs without interruptions.”

A lump formed in Star’s throat. She couldn’t believe Mom would actually give her Grandma’s house. Maybe Mom did feel some love for her after all. “Thank you. I appreciate that,” Star said tearfully. “Maybe I’ll take some voice lessons and learn how to sing a little better, too.”

Mom left her seat at the table and gave Star a hug. “You can if you want to, but I think you already sing quite well.”

Star sniffed deeply. “You really mean it?”

“Wouldn’t have said so if I didn’t.”

“Do you think I’ll ever make it big in the music world?”

Mom shrugged. “I don’t know, but I think you should try.”

“Yeah, maybe I will.”

“So what are you going to do about today?” Mom asked, abruptly changing the subject.

“What do you mean?”

“Are you going to the last quilting class at Emma Yoder’s?”

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I go?”

“What if Jan’s there? What will you say to him?”

“I had trouble sleeping and was thinking about that most of the night.”

“And?”

“Now that I know the truth, the first thing I’m gonna do is apologize to Jan for calling him a liar and a bum.”

“Then what?”

“Then I’m hoping we can spend some time together outside of the quilt class—get to know each other better and maybe become good friends.”

“That’d be nice. I’ll be happy for you if that happens, because, Lord knows, I’ve kept you hating him long enough.” Mom’s tone was as sincere as the look on her face, and it gave Star a sense of peace. Now she just hoped Jan would accept her apology.

“There’s one more thing, Star.” Mom took a sip of coffee before she continued. “I’d like the chance to apologize to Jan. He may not believe me, but I do feel terrible about how all this played out. Years ago, I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I see that all I did was bring on a lot of unnecessary hurt, especially to you. You don’t know how much I regret it. Things could have been different, and I see that now. So after you’ve had some time with Jan and have gotten to know him better, I’d like a chance to make things right. He needs to know that our breakup wasn’t all his fault and that I’m truly sorry for taking you and running off like I did.”

Star placed her hand on Mom’s arm. “I accept your apology, and I … I forgive you.”

“I know I don’t deserve it, but thank you for that.”

Feeling somewhat better, Star took a seat at the table. She could hardly wait to get to Emma’s and speak to Jan.

Mishawaka

Stuart sneaked a look at his wife as she drove them to Emma’s for the last quilting class. He saw the glint in Pam’s eyes, as though she was deep in thought. He was content with this moment of quiet, amazed at how quickly things had changed between him and Pam.

They say bad things happen for a reason
, he thought, recalling the phrase he’d heard some years ago. Nodding his head, he realized there could be some truth to it. It was hard for Stuart not to grin as he recollected the recent turn of events. He remembered how surprised he’d been by Pam’s reaction when the mishap had occurred with the hummingbird feeder. She’d appeared to be subdued on the way to the hospital, concentrating on traffic and getting him to the ER safely.

Wanting to stay alert, Stuart hadn’t taken the full amount of his pain medicine this morning, so his finger was thumping like crazy with pain. He could ignore the discomfort, though, as he continued to recall the events of last night.

The trip home from the hospital was when Stuart had gotten a real eye-opener. It was like floodgates opening, and once started, nothing could stop Pam’s tears. He still couldn’t believe all the frustrations and heartache Pam had kept bottled up about her relationship with her dad. It was as if all the tears she’d held in for years couldn’t be held back any longer. If he’d only known all this sooner, he’d have understood her better and realized why she felt the way she did about certain situations. Maybe things would have been different between them and not so combative at every turn.

Stuart knew he and Pam still had a ways to go, but he felt confident that they’d reached a milestone last night. He’d looked at Pam with a sense of awe, just as he was doing now, and realized that she really did love him.

And for himself, despite all their ups and downs, there’d never been any doubt of his love for Pam. He might not have shown it in ways she understood, but he’d always loved her. Never more so than he did right now.