The Grimm Diaries Prequels Volume 15 - 18 (4 page)

What mattered was that we were shocked that however we tried to have a
child, I wasn’t getting pregnant. We tried everything, and every trick known to
us in that period of time—science and medicine were somehow behind, and women
who couldn’t bear a child were considered cursed.

In the end, Angel told Lady Shallot, and unexpectedly she wanted to see
me. Alone.

I hadn’t seen her since she’d weaved our kingdom, as it always seemed
that she were
more interested in talking to
Angel.

“She wants to talk to me?” I wondered.

“Yes. She does,” Angel said. “She says that it’s you who’s preventing us
from having a child.”

“What?” My face knotted. “I have been wanting to have your child
for so long. It’s always been you who delayed it for
some reason.”

“I know, darling,” Angel held me by the shoulders. “And I know it’s time
to grant your wish—and my desire is to have a child as beautiful as you are.
It’s just that Lady Shallot says that there’s some kind of enchantment or spell
that binds you from having children. Don’t worry. She says it’s easy, and she can
help you.”

Unconvinced, I went to see Lady Shallot. I didn’t feel like I had been
bound by a spell or something. My desire to have a child was overwhelming, and
this couldn’t be.

“Nice to see you, Queen of Sorrow,” Lady Shallot said, watching me in the
mirror, still weaving.

“I am honored to be in your presence, Lady Shallot,” I said, and sat
down.

“I think you’re the youngest queen I have ever weaved a world for.” She
turned around with a serene smile on her face. Lady Shallot was like the mother
of all mothers. You couldn’t help but love her, but I had a feeling she saw
something in me that she didn’t like. I couldn’t figure out what.

“I hope I am up to it,” I said. “It’s not easy being a queen at my age.
That’s why I wished I’d not only be a queen but also a—“

“Mother,” she nodded. “I can see it in your eyes, the eagerness to have a
child.”

“In my eyes, really?” I blushed.

“It’s a beautiful glimmer,” she said. “And there is nothing wrong with
wanting to have a child.”

“Angel told me I am bound by some spell, and that you can help me have a
child.”

“It’s true that I told him that,” she said. “But I only said it so I can
have a talk with you.”

“Are you saying that I am not bound?”

“Not exactly,” she said. “I am saying that you and Angel are not allowed
to have a child. The universe will not permit it.”

“The universe? Why?”

“The universe, remember?” she said. “The universe that saved you from
drowning in the ocean, and showed you my island to grant you a kingdom.”

It was as if she was reminding me that Angel and I should have died long
ago.

“So why won't the universe allow us to have a child?” I asked.

“Because Angel is a descendant of Sorrows, and you are a descendant of
the Karnsteins. Sorrows are the most vicious vampires in the world, the Karnsteins
are the most honorable vampire hunters. It’s not like each family chose what it
is. It’s a blood thing. It runs in families from the beginning of time. Your
marriage to Angel is like the marriage of angels and devils.”

“Except that he, supposedly the devil, is called Angel,” I said. “I guess
the universe works in mysterious ways.”

“Calling him Angel has nothing to do with the universe,” she said. “It
was Night Sorrow’s attempt to laugh at the universe.”

“So are you saying that the universe permits us to be married, but not
have a child?”

“It’s not quite so,” Lady Shallot said. “You could have a child with
Angel. In fact, that child could be the world’s savior from demons—or the
world’s curse. But unless you fulfill one condition, you will never have it.”

“I am willing to do what it takes,” I said.

“It’s not as easy as you think it is.”

“I am listening,” I said, knowing that I was about to be asked to do
something horrible, so I may
have a child in
return.

“The universe, as you know, demands balance,” Lady Shallot repeated.
“Balance comes from opposition. A sun won’t be born unless there is a moon. A
man won’t exist unless there is a woman. A day won’t shine unless there is
night to darken it.”

“And what kind of balance does the universe demand of me to have a
child?” I cut to
the chase.

“That’s the wrong question to ask,” Lady Shallot abandoned the thread and
looked at me. It was a piercing look. “You know the sleeping woman who gave
birth to your sun and moon?”

“How do you know that I know about that?” my eyes were wide open.

“I see a lot in my mirror, but that’s not the point,” she said. “This
woman you saw is like you. In order to give birth to a sun, she had to also
give birth to a moon. In fact, they are twins. There is no telling if the sun
is maybe evil and the moon is good. But in your case, you will have to give
birth to both - one who is evil and one who is good.”

“You mean if the universe allows me, I will give birth to twins?” I said.

“There is a prophecy that says that your child with Angel will be a
special one,” she said. “But the universe won’t allow her birth, unless the
balance is granted.”

“You mean I will have to give birth to another one that is…” I shrugged.
“Evil?”

“The universe sees it that way,” Lady Shallot leaned back, away from me,
abandoning me to the painful decision I had to make.

“But how can I raise two different children? What am I going to do with the
evil one?”

“People are made from the sum of decisions they make in their lives, and
nothing is free in this world. A woman who wants a child to light her world,
has to go through the pain of bringing it out to the world. The child’s first
action in the world is to scream and cry. It’s all to balance the
world
,”
she said. “It’s your choice. Either you will have no child, or you have two.”

“And all of that is because I, a Karnstein, fell in love with Angel—who’s
a descendant of the Sorrows,” I considered.

“You two were not supposed to meet,” Lady Shallot said. “But now that you
have, things must change.”

“If Angel and I weren’t supposed to meet, why did the universe help us?
Why did you help us?”

“The universe holds its own rules, but it does not hold power over
people, because it knows that there are people who are exceptions to all rules.
They are few, but when they decide something, the universe tries to help them
and wants them to succeed,” Lady Shallot said. “You chose each other, and with
it comes consequences you have to pay. It’s unlikely that you make it. Couples
try to survive this world every day. But we still want you to succeed. You’ll
still have to grant the universe its balance, though.”

“I will have a child—children,” I said. “What do I have to do?”

“I’m not going to ask you if you’re sure,” she said. “I can see the
determination in your eyes. So I will send you to Swan Lake. In a way, you will
have your children there.”

“Swan Lake? I don’t understand.”

“You will when you get there,” Lady Shallot said, and ordered me to close
my eyes. She told me to take a deep breath, and when I opened my eyes, I would
be back in Sorrow where Swan Lake was located.

When I woke up, I was astonished by the existence of the lake in our
kingdom, which I knew nothing about before. I didn’t even know how I got there.
It was just somewhere in the Black Forest, abandoned, and darker than anywhere
else, except for the thin moonbeam reflecting on the surface of the still
water.

Swan Lake was divided by a troop of white swans on the left, and black
swans on the right. The lake’s water was still as if it were dead. The swans
floated inactively on both sides.

A single red swan, bigger than the rest appeared in the distance. It had
large wings stretched to its sides, and it swam toward me with the other swans
bowing their head for it on both sides.

Closer, I saw the swan had long feathers fluttering to the faint breeze
kissing the water’s surface, barely stirring it into narrow ripples. Even
closer, I saw the swan walked on water. It had legs. Why not, when it turned
out to be a woman with a swan’s body. She was a swan maiden.

“Welcome,” she said.

I couldn’t see her face because the moonbeam never crossed it. It was as
if my moon girl avoided shining upon the swan maiden.

“I have been expecting you,” she followed, and I assumed that I better
not enter the water, as I stood by the edge of the muddy shore.

“You have?” I wondered.

“’One day the Queen of Sorrow will desire a baby, and it’s going to be
either the end of the world, or the end of all evil in the world’,” she said.
“It’s prophesized.”

“How can a world only weaved years ago by the talented hands of Lady
Shallot have a prophecy?” I dared to ask.

“There’s always a prophecy, even before the creation of worlds,” she
said. “But who believes in prophecies, anyways?”

“What do you mean,” I frowned. “You just said…”

“The existence of the prophecy does not mean we don’t have the will to
oppose it. It was probably written by some drunk, or a hallucinating man like
Nostradamus. I wonder why prophecies have to be vague, don’t you?” Her tone
implied mockery and bitterness. She wasn’t as pure as Lady Shallot, or as evil
as Night von Sorrow. Her voice was somewhere in the middle; like me, like most
of us where good and evil were just points of view.

I nodded, “You know I was sent here by Lady Shallot, right?”

“That’s debatable,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“If you consider Lady Shallot sending you to me, then you were indeed
sent by
her
,” she said, and I was confused. “But there is another way to
look at it.”

“Which is?”

“That you desired a baby with all your might and went to Lady Shallot for
assistance, and then, upon your wish, she sent you to me. In that case, it
wouldn’t be sufficient to say she sent you because she was only a vehicle, a
reason, on your road to me. You sent yourself, my dear. You want this.”

“I agree,” I said, although I didn’t admire her being philosophical. “So
are you going to help me have a child of my own?”

“Twins of your own,” she said, and I really wanted to see her face that
moment.

“Do you mind telling me who you are?”

“They call me Brighid, the Swan Queen,” she answered. “All those swans
are mine,” she signaled at them with her enormous wings. The swans bowed their
heads again, their beaks meeting with the water’s surface.

“What do all these swans have to do with me having a child?” I heard her
let out a small whistle when I said that. It was an exquisite melody, and I
suspected it was part of Lady’s Shallot’s melody. I couldn’t say for sure,
since I couldn’t remember both. It was as if they were tabooed songs that I
wasn’t allowed to memorize for some reason.

“They are beautiful, aren’t they?” Brighid said.

I nodded and said nothing. I wondered which ones she meant, the black
swans or the white. The truth was the Black Swans creeped me out, although they
were silent and as obedient as the White Swans. There was something eerie about
them. They reminded me of the silent crows by my window
.

“Can I ask you a question?” I uttered. “Why are you in this lake,
surrounded by all these swans? I mean, what significance does it have with your
ability and willingness to grant me a child?”

Brighid, hiding her face behind the shades, sighed, “They aren’t just
swans, they are babies,” she said, as some of them approached her and let out
those moaning noises. It was true, they sounded like babies. “Unborn babies,”
she said, as she started to feed them from her hands.

“Unborn babies? I don’t quite understand.”

“Have you ever wondered what we have all been before we were born, Queen
of Sorrow?” she mused.

“Actually, no,” I said bluntly. What kind of thought was that? Why would
I care what, or who, I was before I was born? Why concern myself with such
thoughts at all? “Are you saying we were swans?”

“Not all of us,” she said. “But when Lady Shallot weaved your world, she
made it this way. All these swans around me are unborn babies, waiting for
shapeshifting and transforming into human form; the form we ignorantly call
‘babies.’”

I wasn’t going to argue that my twins were swans before I’d give birth to
them. All that mattered was that I’d get what I wanted.

“Each newborn in Sorrow was a swan in my lake once,” she said. “There are
so many more swans deeper in the lake that you might not be able to see unless
you swim in it. But I don’t want you to do that because your two twins are in
this group around me.”

It was a
puzzling moment, yet weirdly
dazzling. Two of the many swans in front of me were my babies, and I was
looking at them before they were even born. Suddenly, all swans seemed lovelier
in my eyes. With their curvy figures and the songs they sang—which I couldn’t
remember—, they had taken my breath away.

“Which ones are they?” I said, unconsciously stepping into the muddy
waters.

“Stay where you are,” Brighid demanded. “I’ll show you who your twins
are, but it won’t be a pretty scene. Are you up to it?”

“Why not a pretty scene?” I wondered.

“You’ll be the mother of two unusual girls,” she said.

“They’ll be girls?”

“That’s what the prophecy claims,” she said. “But who knows.”

“So what scene are you warning me about?”

“You will see,” she signaled for the swans to separate again. White swans
swam to the left, and black swans to the right. “Take a deep breath, Queen of
Sorrow.”

It was a bit hard for me to comprehend the atrocity I was about to
witness, but I sensed it through the air. The swans on both sides were growing
sharp wings that could cut like a knife. Their beautiful voices turned to an
eerie darkened rumble, facing each other. Then some of them drew fangs.