The Grimm Chronicles, Vol.1 (32 page)

The room was full of people. They were all dressed in fancy suits and long evening gowns. A lot of them looked middle-aged and the rest looked even older.

“Um, we’re the youngest people here,” Seth pointed out.

“Just walk and pretend to mingle,” I said. “We need to find the schedule.”

“Why?”

“So we know when to slip away. Come on.” I led him through the sea of people, to the tall poster stands that had been placed strategically around the room. Each poster had a picture of one of the museum’s exhibits. We stopped and looked at all of them, pretending we were interested but in reality we really
were
interested. I’d forgotten half the exhibits and seeing pictures of them reignited a lot of good memories.

“Gawd, how many times did we take a school field trip to the museum?” I asked with a laugh.

“Every single year,” Seth answered. He pointed to the picture of the saber-toothed tiger skeleton. “That was always your favorite. You’d make me stay in the Ice Age exhibit with you so you could draw the tiger. It was so annoying. We’d get separated from our group and then when the teachers found us, they’d always give us a demerit. You were kind of a jerk.”

“I didn’t force you to stay with me,” I said defensively.

“You were my partner!” he exclaimed. “If I lost you the teachers would have gone crazy on me! We’re talking like, total meltdown. ‘How could you lose your partner? You’re supposed to keep an eye on your partner!’ They would have cut off my thumbs or something.”

“Well, we came out of it all right.”

“Yeah, hooray for friendship,” he muttered.

We walked to the other side of the atrium, to the large windows overlooking the courtyard. A handful of middle-aged men and women were standing near the fountain, sipping glasses of dark red wine.

“Man oh man, I’m so terrified,” Seth said. “I mean, like, even my
butt
is sweating right now. I wish you would have just let me shower at home this morning.”

“No. The Grayles know what you look like. They might know who you are. We can’t take any risks.”

“They’re going to see through this disguise,” Seth said. “I stand out like a sore thumb. Heck my head sort of
looks
like a sore thumb, for crying out loud.”

“Oh, stop it.” I giggled. “We’re bickering just like we used to do in middle school.”

Seth sighed, smiling. “Yeah. Those were such simple times, weren’t they? Man, you know what the craziest thing is? This,” he waved his hand around the atrium, “isn’t even as scary as starting senior year. Everything is going to change this year. I can just feel it. Do you get scared about it?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “I just haven’t really had time to think about it too much yet.” Too much time spent trying to figure out this new aspect of my life. I wondered what it might be like to tell Seth … maybe just give him a few hints and let him guess. I wanted someone to talk to. Someone who wasn’t a giant talking rabbit.

“You’re right: I shouldn’t be thinking about it yet either,” Seth said. He shook his head vigorously. “I need to focus on the task at hand: vandalizing a multi-million-dollar company’s property.”

“Yes,” I said. “That’s the spirit!”

“OK.” Seth’s foot was tapping on the tiled floor. “Let’s do this. Before I lose my nerve.”

“Just wait a moment,” I said. “We need our distraction.”

I turned back to the party. More people had streamed in, crowding the bar area. The pianist changed tempo, offering something upbeat and deep. The chandeliers hanging above had circular rows of lights shaped like candle flames, and as someone standing near the bar tapped on his glass, the lights dimmed.

Everyone turned to look.

“Now,” I said. “Come on!”

We slipped between a handful of nicely dressed old fogies, keeping to the other side of the room.

“Can everyone see me all right now?” asked a familiar voice. The crowd laughed politely.

I turned. There, standing on a chair beside the piano, was Sam Grayle. Gawd, he could dress so stylish. His gray suit was so sleek that it seemed to glisten, tailored perfectly at his wrists, his shoulder pads square but not too broad.

Maybe I could squirt some ketchup on him if he got in our way. At least we’d cost him one big dry cleaning bill.

“I just want to thank you all for coming,” Sam Grayle said in a loud, booming voice. He smiled. “This fundraiser meant a lot to the former owners of this building, and it means a lot to us, too. The history of the natural world is a beautiful, amazing thing, one that Grayle Incorporated wants to continue supporting every single year. Which is why we’ve decided to match the donations made tonight.”

A hearty round of applause.

“Yeah, soak it up,” I murmured, pushing Seth to the doors. “And enjoy it while it lasts.”

We made our way back into the hall, hurrying to the elevators. I pushed the “up” button. Two doors opened. We hurried to the nearest one, slipping inside. Seth pushed the button for the thirteenth floor.

Soft elevator music played through a speaker in the ceiling. I felt our weight sink into our feet.

“Are you feeling OK?” Seth asked with one narrowed eye. “You look tired.”

“This week has taken a lot out of me,” I said.

“We could reschedule this. Maybe think it over for a few more days …”

I glared at him. He shut up.

The elevator doors opened.

“Wait,” I told Seth, stepping out and quickly glancing left and right. The hallway was empty, save for a few potted plants sitting between the office doors. “OK, let’s go.”

Based on what we could make of the floor plans, the hallway on just about every floor wrapped around the building like a square-shaped doughnut. I kept Seth behind me as I peered around the corners. We made our way to the other side, where there were only two doors on the left side of the hall. Between the doors were old paintings of pastoral scenes made with swift brush strokes, each one held in an intricate brass frame.

“This is it,” Seth said, stopping in front of the first door. The words “Server Room” were written on a plaque on the wall.

“Yeah, I sort of guessed that.”

He looked at me. “Sarcasm duly noted. Are we ready to really do this? Last chance to back out. I mean, someone is probably watching us on a camera right now. We could pretend we were lost and go back to the gala and maybe have a glass of soda before heading on our way. Man, I could use an iced cola right now.”

I peered down the hall, examining the walls and ceiling. “You’re right: there’s probably
are
cameras somewhere. We need to hurry.”

Seth grabbed the door handle, pulled, then looked at me and whimpered.

“I think you have to push,” I said with a wry smile.

He pushed. The door opened. And immediately an alarm went off.

Chapter 8: Briar

Br’er Rabbit just kept digging nice and slow. “My eyes ain’t big for nothing, Br’er Wolf.”
[xiii]

Well, things just couldn’t go down without a hitch, could they now? Nope … that would be too easy, and you know those dastardly dwarfs aren’t so stupid as to leave their wonderful fancy computing devices unprotected.

I saw it all, of course. Dear old sweet Briar the helper rabbit was no slouch during all of this, I can guarantee you that. The moment Alice let me in through the secret sewer entrance, I high-tailed it to the stairwell, slipping in and out with nary a soul in sight. On the thirteenth floor, I broke into a vent near the ceiling—no small feat, I must say!—and made my way into the server room.

Which is where I remained for the next twenty minutes. Stuck, once again.

If you remember, it happened before. My fur got stuck in a little crack where two pieces of the vent were screwed together. It was an awful, traumatic experience, one which I vowed would never happen again.

Well, it happened again.

This time, it was my vest that got caught, and being inside a tight vent made it impossible for me to maneuver myself in such a way that I could gain any sort of pull on the piece of fabric caught on one of the screws.

“Oh, some spy you are,” I muttered to myself. “Here you are, stuck in a vent. You’re supposed to be the back-up!”

I tugged again. It was no use. Every time I gave a strong pull, the entire vent shook and wobbled, audibly groaning under my very average weight. The only way I was getting out of his vent was
down
. And quite frankly, I didn’t want to be down there. The entire room was lined with rows of big, loud, humming machines that made my fur stand on end. A room full of vacuums wouldn’t have been as scary.

My lamentations were cut short as the door inside the server room opened. I could strain my neck and peer through the air grate well enough to see the room was pretty darned dark; when the light from the hall shined in, I could see all of the big refrigerator-shaped machines sitting in neat rows along the floor. They hummed and had little blue lights blinking and were generally the type of thing that would send my fellow animal kingdom friends running in the opposite direction … much like a vacuum cleaner. It was obvious to me that these infernal machines were the work of evil … something so big and loud could only be used for nefarious purposes.

Alice and Seth walked through the door. I nearly hollered a greeting, but before I could, a strange quiet beeping noise began going off.

“An alarm!” Alice said. She pushed her furless friend into the room. “Hurry! Do whatever you have to do!”

“Oh dear,” I mumbled, tugging again at my vest. It was incredibly important that I get my vest unstuck post-haste. Things were getting hairy—furry, so to speak—and I was desperately needed.

OK, perhaps I’m being just a bit melodramatic. Officially, I was expected to keep watch and eventually make my way through the ventilation system to the dwarfs’ floor.

But no matter what my “official” role was, I’d be of little use if I didn’t—grunt!—get—grunt!—free from this blasted vent!

“OK,” said the nice young man, slipping between two of the big humming machines, “All I need to do is sneak into their mainframe and work some coding magic. The
Castle Cats
program will send a message to everyone’s phone telling them to download the updated version. It’ll be like nothing happened.”

“Just hurry!” Alice said, glancing back to the door.

“I’m trying!” said her pink-skinned compatriot. I do say I liked his outfit, especially the bow tie. It made him look very much like a spy.

“Well try
faster
,” Alice said. For all of her outward urging, she sounded calm. She had pulled her fountain pen from her little purse and tossed the purse next to one of the big machines. It was quite possibly the first time I’ve ever seen a woman throw away a purse.

Seth kneeled in front of the machine, which had a small monitor and keyboard attached to its exterior, much like a laptop computing device. He began typing. I fear I cannot be more specific, as I was looking down from the ceiling grate and not in the best position to provide many details. I
can
tell you that the young man was typing
furiously
, if my ears are to be believed.

And I assure you: my ears
are
to be believed. I’ve always prided myself on my exquisite hearing.

There came from the hallway the unmistakable “ding!” of the elevators. At the same time, the air conditioning turned on and a cold breeze blew across my bum. I was glad to have been blessed with a pair of trousers.

Alice glanced nervously at the door. “Seth …”

“Almost there,” Seth said. “Holy crap, I can’t believe it. I’m actually in! I’m in!”

“Good,” Alice said. She bent down, drawing a sword on the floor. She pulled it away, swinging it a few times. Oh, I was so proud of her.

“I still don’t know how you plan on keeping them from changing the code back to the way it was,” Seth said.

“Don’t worry about that,” Alice said. “Just hurry.”

“I’ve got it!” Seth laughed like a mule who’d just kicked a farmer.  “I did it! Holy crap I totally did it! This is the coolest thing ever, dudette!”

“Great!” Alice said. “Now we need to … we need to …”

A shadow appeared in the doorway. I strained to see, peering through the grate and feeling the fabric of my beautiful vest strain ever so slightly.

Seth looked at the doorway, then at Alice. “OK, clearly I fell asleep. Because I know for a fact that there isn’t a giant porcupine standing in the doorway and I’m even more positive my best friend isn’t holding a sword.”

“It’s a hedgehog,” Alice said. She got into a fighting stance, pulling up her dress to stretch out her leg. “A giant hedgehog. And I’m not holding a sword. I’m holding a saber.”

Her furless friend stood up. He tugged at his bowtie. The poor fellow had gone quite pale.

“I’m sorry, Seth,” Alice said. “I’m so sorry I dragged you into this.”

The Corrupted hedgehog monster stepped inside the room, growling a low growl. I felt the fur on the back of my neck stand on end. The creature’s quills bristled.

“This … this is too much,” Seth said. “What the heck is going on? Like, for real? Who is this dude?”

“He’s a monster,” Alice answered. She held her saber in front of her and put her free hand behind her back. A quiet whine escaped my mouth. I tugged on my vest again, rattling the vent. Oh, how I hated these situations! Here I was, stuck, while poor Seth was doing his best impression of a possum.

The hedgehog monster took another step forward. I tell you, he was a terrifying beast, with human-shaped paws and long claws and the strong legs of a wolf. He reached his arms over his shoulders, whimpering quietly as he plucked two long sharp quill thingies from his back. He pointed them at Alice as if they were swords.

“Oh dear!” I exclaimed.

Everyone looked up at the vent. I realized then that I’d accidentally turned myself visible in my flustered state.

“Oh. Um, howdy!” I said.

“Now who the heck is
that
?” Seth asked with wide eyes.

Suddenly, the hedgehog monster lurched forward, stabbing wildly at Alice with one of his quills. Alice parried the blow, stepping back. “Seth, get out of here!” she said. “Hurry!”

The devious hedgehog stepped forward again, stabbing with both of the quills at the same time. Alice fell back, parrying with one smooth motion as she fell to the ground with a thud. If I hadn’t been so sure of her abilities, I might have gasped at this point in time. But I didn’t, and before the hedgehog creature could move closer, Alice was back on her feet.

“Seth!” she said, pulling the awe-struck young man behind her again. “Get out of here!”

“Where am I supposed to go?!” Seth asked. “This entire situation is just a little too difficult to comprehend!”

Alice parried another swipe of the hedgehog’s giant quill, then kicked him right where the sun don’t shine. He bent over and she stabbed at him, but he deflected the beautiful attack with his quill. Alice turned and kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying down the next row of giant machines.

“Now, Seth!” she said, following the hedgehog out of my line of sight.

Seth took a cautious step toward the door, then stopped. “Oh holy crap.”

Another much smaller shadow appeared in the doorway.

“A dwarf!” I gasped.

The dwarf stepped forward and I heard the strangest metallic sound. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was until he took another step towards Seth. Then I saw it …

A pickaxe!

“Oh dear me,” I said, struggling mightily with my vest. I tugged and pulled, and heard a distinct metallic ping from somewhere above.

Below, things had gone from bad to worse. Seth was now pinned near the back of the room, the dwarf with the pickaxe blocking the exit. From somewhere behind one of the other rows of serving machines, Alice grunted and cursed. The dwarf watched Alice get thrown back against one of the frightening humming machines in the next aisle, then shrugged.

“I’ve been hoping we’d meet like this,” he said. He was Flick, and he would surely not hesitate to kill Alice’s best friend. I had to get free.

“Um … can you just call the police?” Seth asked. He nervously wiped the sweat from his brow. “I mean … I’m ready to be arrested now. I think a nice quiet night in jail might be just the thing to set me straight.”

Flick laughed. He lifted his pickaxe, hefting its weight in his arms. “I’m going to enjoy this, boy.”

“Alice!” Seth called out. “There’s a dwarf with a pickaxe threatening me! Alice!”

“Briar!” Alice yelled. There was a metallic clang as her sword sliced into one of the machines. Sparks flew and the hedgehog creature cried out.

“Right then,” I mumbled. “This will require the most delicate of solutions.”

I bounced up and down in the vent, shaking it wildly until I heard another metallic pop somewhere above. I shook the vent harder …

And went crashing through the tiled ceiling. The vent broke apart. I landed on the floor directly beside the horrible dwarf, and before he could swing his horrible pickaxe, I jumped up.

“Now who the hell are you?!” asked Alice’s furless friend.

“Br’er Rabbit, at your disposal,” I said, turning to the stunned dwarf and holding out my paws in a karate stance. “I do believe we’ll have time for pleasantries at a later date. As of right now …” The dwarf swung his pickaxe at me and I ducked out of the way. “… We need to get you out of here, dear boy!”

“Yeah, dude.” Seth grabbed my vest, which under less hectic circumstances would have been quite rude. “We definitely need to get me out of here. Please, giant talking rabbit, get me out of this nightmare.”

Flick swung his pickaxe again. I hopped back, nearly bumping into Seth.

“I should have known the idiotic rabbit would show up,” Flick growled. His eyes darted to the next row of servers as Alice and the hedgehog took turns throwing each other against them. We could see them moving past the spaces between the machines, which were not stacked so close that they touched.

“Idiotic?!” I exclaimed, puffing my fur out. “I’ll have you know this clever little idiot has been spying on you for some time.”

“Oh, I know,” Flick said. “Why do you think we locked that emergency exit in the parking structure? We’re not fools, rabbit.”

He swung again, this time aiming for Seth. I pulled the wide-eyed boy out of the way and gave him the heave-ho toward the door. “Run, my boy! Find a safe place!”

“But what about Alice?” he asked.

I dodged another swing of the pickaxe, hopping back. “Alice can take care of herself! Trust me!”

“Yes, trust the
giant rabbit
!” Flick said with a devious cackle. “Boy, if you turn and run, I’m going to pick you apart piece by bloody piece and leave the crows to eat your eyeballs while you’re still alive!”

“He’s mostly full of hot air!” I shouted, dodging another blow. “Best to not let him get to you!”

“Right. OK! Well, good luck!” Seth called, turning and disappearing into the hallway.

“Beaten once again!” I exclaimed to the horrible dwarf, allowing my ears the satisfaction of pulling back in a more intimidating posture. “It’s only a matter of time now!”

Flick smiled, stepping forward. “I hope the little brat isn’t taking the elevators. Because every single one of them is programmed to go to the top floor.”

From the hall came the unmistakable “ding!” of the elevator. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. “I do say …”

Flick laughed a rotten, dastardly laugh. “You forget, dear rabbit … this isn’t the first time we’ve dealt with a hero.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” I told him, backing up beside one of the giant humming servers. It took all my fortitude to not bolt for the door.

“Yes, I’ll bet you haven’t,” Flick said with a grin. His eyes were dark and wide, like saucers that had been dipped in tar. His teeth were yellow and cracked, like … well, like popcorn covered in mustard, I suppose. I must admit, I was a bit afraid of the loony little creature. My legs quivered in anticipation.