Authors: Dennis J Butler
“You mean mentally? I’m fine. My family will be in today.”
“I was wondering, do you think it would be better if they
were here? Is there any way of letting them know, without drawing suspicion?”
“I guess that’s up to you. You could tell them that you
think your time is near and you want them to stay with you. Let me know if
that’s what you want to do. It would be better if I wasn’t here. You can spend
your last moments with your family.”
“I think
,
no I am sure that I would
rather spend my last moments with you. I’ll make sure I don’t fall asleep
before you come back. You will come back, won’t you?”
“Same time as always, about 9:30 PM.”
“How will it happen? Will the monitors send out an alarm?”
“Nothing will show up on the monitors until you are asleep
and your BP and pulse begin to slip. I’ll leave as soon as I see your BP
slipping. I’m sorry this conversation is so clinical and cold.”
“I understand Joe.”
Joe’s eyes were watery again. “Remember, when I do leave, I
will be leaving my heart here with you. By now you know how I feel.”
“I know Joe. I’ll take it with me,” Blair said as she tried
to smile. “It’s amazing that after all these years, it seems I may have found
love just before I leave. But it is better than never finding love at all.”
“I’m so sorry Blair. But on the other hand, there is
something here that we can always cherish. I know I will always keep you in my
heart.”
“If there really is an afterlife, I will look down upon you
Joe.”
There was nothing else that needed to be said. Blair and Joe
had shared their innermost feelings. Joe took Blair’s hand and for a few
moments they just looked at each other.
“I’ll be back later this afternoon. I’ll look in on you
every chance I get and then I’ll see you later on this evening.”
Blair’s extended family kept her company all afternoon and
into the early evening each day. Although Blair was beginning to feel tired,
she forced herself to stay awake and alert. Friday came and as you might
expect, it was her mother who knew something was happening. When they all took
turns hugging Blair and saying goodnight, Blair’s mother could feel the
melancholy. It was mother’s intuition or something. For a brief second, they
stared into each other’s eyes and knew. Blair’s mother knew she was not only
saying goodnight to Blair, she was saying goodbye. Tears poured down Blair’s
mother’s cheeks as she took one last look at Blair before she left the room. It
was their secret.
Blair was dozing in and out when Joe returned at 9:30 PM. “I
was hoping you would make it. I’m having a hard time staying awake.”
Joe pulled a chair up close to the bed and took Blair’s
hand. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on the back of Blair’s hand. He
kissed her hand and looked up. Blair’s eyes were still open. Joe leaned forward
and kissed Blair lightly. As Blair’s eyes began to flutter and close, Joe sat
back down. He closed his eyes and he felt like he was dozing off as he rested
his forehead on Blair’s hands again.
A moment later Joe felt
as if he had actually dozed off.
He kissed Blair’s hand and looked up.
She was asleep. “She was just waiting for me to be here,” Joe mumbled to
himself. “Goodbye my dear Blair,” he whispered.
It would only be a matter of minutes before the monitor set
off an alarm for the nurse. Joe stood up, kissed Blair on the forehead and
recited the Ranjisan prayer one more time before leaving the room. When he
reached the hallway near the elevators he could hear the alarm going off at the
nurse’s station.
After almost a year on Earth I had not made any real
friends. I had not yet had a date with an Earth woman but that was probably my
own fault. I wondered if perhaps I seemed aloof in my constant daydreaming.
Perhaps I seemed a bit lost in myself or maybe people were put off by my odd
punk/albino look. I had always hoped I would make friends with Earthly
punk-rockers, but making friends was difficult and awkward. The only change I
had made to my appearance was that my hair grew longer and frizzier. The skin
and hair color combined with my pale and almost colorless eyes made me look
almost like a human with albinism. I didn’t remember being so antisocial back
home but as I thought about it more and more, I realized it wasn’t unusual. I
was after all, an alien from another world. It was hard for me to be normal and
fit in.
Once again I daydreamed my way to work the morning after the
chat session. I was feeling just a bit of anxiety, knowing that I had crossed
the line. I had broken Ranjisi law. I had participated in altering the course
of human life. I was involved and potentially a criminal. But with the anxiety
came a feeling of accomplishment. I knew I was doing the right thing. We had
ended Blair McFadden’s suffering and helped her to spend the last days of life
in dignity.
My supervisor Connie was on the phone when I arrived at
work. She gave me a hand signal to let me know she had something to tell me
before I set out on my first assignment. One of the Earthly habits I had
acquired was a love of coffee. I was ten minutes early so I poured a cup while
I waited for Connie to get off the phone. I drank it black.
“There’s a new patient getting checked in this morning Luke.
Can you go down to admissions and wait for her.”
“Where’s she going?”
“She’s going to the Weinberg wing on seven.”
“Terminal?”
“Sandoval’s team will be treating her for LAMs. Someone must
think she has a chance.”
Connie handed me the admission and transport form:
LeAnne Pearson
Age 29
Transfer to Dr. Sandoval in
Weinberg wing on floor seven of west tower.
The patient and her family were somewhere in the maze of
small offices that made up the Admissions Department. I sat and waited,
thankful to be off my feet. My legs ached by the end of each day so I welcomed
every chance I had to rest my legs. I didn’t get much of a rest. They were far
down the end of the long hallway behind the receptionist but I knew it must be
her. A worried looking man was pushing a young woman in a wheelchair. The older
woman looked more confused than worried. It seemed to be a common theme. The
patient looked strong and confident but the people who I assumed were her
parents looked distraught.
The woman in the wheelchair appeared to be about my age. As they
came closer I stood up and waited for them. She was wearing a NY Yankees
baseball cap. During my time on Earth, I had come to enjoy watching baseball on
TV. I can’t say I was really a fan but I enjoyed watching the mental battle
between the pitcher and the hitter. The woman who I assumed was LeAnne Pearson
had dark circles around her eyes. Her eyes didn’t seem to have much color but I
guessed that they were brown. Just below her baseball cap, long feathered
earrings hung down almost to her shoulders. It immediately struck me as a sign
of defiance and strength. Here was someone who probably knew she was dying and
in pain and yet she had the mental strength to make a statement. Her hair was
gone but her earrings and her clothing called out to the world around her,
“Don’t pity me, fuck this cancer!”
The second she caught my glance, she seemed to know. The eye
contact was intense. It seemed as if she was reading my mind. But I knew it was
just my Ranjisi way of wearing my emotions on my sleeve. I hadn’t even met her
but she knew I admired her. “LeAnne Pearson?” I asked as they came around the
desk and out into the waiting area.
“Yes, we’re LeAnne’s parents,” LeAnne’s mother answered
before LeAnne had a chance to say anything.
“I’m Luke. I’ll be taking you up to meet some extraordinary
people.”
“So I’ve heard Luke. Will I get to meet this Dr. Sandoval?”
LeAnne asked.
“I’m not sure what his schedule is today but I’m sure he is
as anxious to meet you as you are to meet him.”
I led the way to the elevators and up to the second floor
where the windowed footbridge led to the west tower. St. Elizabeth Medical
Center was set on one of the few hills in the city. From the footbridge, if you
looked west you could see just a glimpse of the Hudson River and New Jersey
beyond. I could see that LeAnne was looking intently out toward the Hudson so I
stopped for a moment so she could look. LeAnne’s mother kept walking ahead of
us for a few steps. “Come on,” she said as she turned around looking impatient
and worried. LeAnne turned her head up to look at me. I couldn’t tell if it was
a smile or a smirk.
The Weinberg wing was comprised of the entire seventh floor.
When I wheeled LeAnne out of the elevator there was a billboard with a big
welcome sign for LeAnne. Three of the staff hurried over and introduced
themselves as RN Cora, CNA Mitchell and PA Collin. I caught LeAnne’s glance
again as they wheeled her away. The strong defiant look she had about her when
I first met her in the Admissions Office had changed. She seemed somewhat
pleading and vulnerable like she was looking for someone to talk to or someone
to save her. It dawned on me on my way to the elevator that she may be looking
for someone to help make it all end.
I didn’t see LeAnne again until the following week when I
began taking her to and from the IV transfusion room on the fourth floor of the
west tower. I was surprised that she remembered my name. “Good morning Luke.”
“Good morning LeAnne. What do you think of St. Elizabeth so
far?”
“It’s cool. Everyone’s nice. Dr. Sandoval isn’t what I
expected.”
“What do you mean?”
“I expected him to act more like a genius but he’s normal.
He’s easy to talk to and he listens.”
“You can come back in about two hours,” the nurse said as I
wheeled LeAnne into the room with all the big blue recliner chairs.
I finished a few more assignments and arrived back in the IV
room early. I assumed LeAnne had fallen asleep listening to music. An earpod
was in her right ear and the other one was dangling just below her jaw. The IV
was still attached to her hand. I sat in the nurse’s chair alongside her and
waited. It was interesting and sad watching all the people coming and going.
There were two pregnant women down the other end of the long room. I assumed they
were getting injections to prevent anemia. I thought it was probably nothing
serious. The other people were older and I assumed their conditions were more
serious. “Your back,” I heard the faint sound of LeAnne’s voice as she woke up.
“How are you feeling LeAnne?” I asked. She seemed drowsy.
“I feel okay aside from the grogginess.”
The nurse walked over and looked at LeAnne’s IV for a
moment. “She has about another half hour. You can come back if you want.”
“I’ll wait,” I said. “By the time I get back to the office
it will be time to come back here. If they need me they can text me.”
LeAnne was looking at my hair and appeared to be wide awake.
“So Luke, do you play in a band?” LeAnne asked with a genuine unassuming smile.
To me it meant that she had no opinion about my punkish look. She neither
approved nor disapproved.
“No but I am learning to play the guitar and the bass. Maybe
when I’m good enough I’ll audition for a band.”
“What kind of music would you play if you could play the
guitar?”
“I like new, progressive alternative rock music,” I said.
“I figured as such from your hairdo,” LeAnne said. “Have you
heard of Dog of the Shepherd?”
“No, is that who you were listening to?”
“Yes. At home I listen to heavier bands but in here, I
figured something more soft and romantic would help relax me. It worked. I fell
asleep.”
“I understand,” I said. “I have trouble sleeping and I
generally have to listen to music for a while before I fall asleep. It seems to
turn my brain off so I can drift off. For that I listen to softer bands like
Sugar Sand and they relax me.”
“I do the same thing with Sugar Sand and some other new
soft-rock bands.”
LeAnne looked at me with a half-smile. It was an odd and
unique thing for two people to have in common. I hardly knew LeAnne but I felt
a brief emotional connection. I hadn’t actually felt any feelings for another
person since Eli died. It seemed we shared a moment of emotional connection. I
felt as if we could become friends but I also knew I didn’t want to become
emotionally attached to someone who was dying. Our moment of emotional
connection was broken when the nurse came over and disconnected the IV
injection from LeAnne. “You’re all done for today. See you back here Thursday
morning.”
When I arrived at LeAnne’s room Thursday morning she was
ready and waiting in her wheelchair. I got the immediate impression that she
was not looking forward to the treatment she was about to undergo. We talked
about rock music on the way to the IV room. “Who are you going to listen to
today?” I asked.
“Retro-Leech Band.”
“Doesn’t sound like a band that will put you to sleep.”
“Hardly.
Do you ever feel angry
like you hate the world?”
“Well I never did before, but recently I have been relating
to bands like Noose Carnival. I’m not sure why.”
“There are a lot of things to be angry or frustrated about,
like the fact that this treatment I’m getting costs over $100,000. How is that
even legal?”
“You don’t have to pay for it, do you?”
“No. It’s kind of a gift. I think the money comes from some
foundation but how is it justified that it costs that much?” LeAnne asked.
“What do people do who can’t afford it if they are turned down for financial
assistance?”
“I don’t know LeAnne. It seems that many things are wrong
and upside down here.”
“You mean ‘here’ like in America?”
LeAnne caught me off guard. Of course I was thinking in
terms of “here” being Earth.
“Yes, here in America.
Is
it the same in other countries?”
“No. I think they have limits on medical costs in other
countries.”
LeAnne and I had stumbled upon a few things we had in
common. “Are you a political activist too Luke or just a quiet rebel?” LeAnne
said with a slight giggle.
“I guess I’m just a quiet rebel. I don’t belong to any
organizations and I’m not really that politically knowledgeable.”
“I thought you were a rebel the first time I saw you. I
guess it’s your hair. I like it. If I ever get better, I’m going to become a
punk. I’m going to get piercings and tattoos and dye my hair different colors.
But of course we know that’s not going to happen. I’m just going to suffer in
pain while they experiment on me, until I finally die.”
“I’m so sorry LeAnne. But we can’t lose hope. Hope is the
only thing we have.” LeAnne knew that I meant it. I thought she could hear the
genuine sadness in my voice. But it was much more than she knew. I was thinking
about not only Tseen Ke but also about the simple cell therapy back on Ranjisan
that would cure LeAnne’s condition. LeAnne and I continued to talk while
waiting for the nurse to connect her to the IV.
“For a while there it seemed like I might get better. At
least the condition was stable and not getting any worse. But then everything
changed suddenly.”
“Do they have any idea why things changed suddenly?” I
asked.
“They don’t, but I do.”
LeAnne turned her head away from me. She seemed to be just
staring at the ceiling but I could tell she was deep in thought. “Let me ask
you something Luke. Do you believe in UFOs?”
LeAnne had caught me off guard again. My heart began racing
and I felt a short sudden sharp pain in my abdomen like someone was poking me
with a sharp needle. I was speechless for a moment. “I have no reason not to
believe in them. I’ve never actually seen one but there is no proof that they
don’t exist. Does this have something to do with your condition?”
LeAnne held up her index finger to let me know she had to
relax a moment and catch her breath. “I was scanned by aliens. A few weeks
later my condition took a nosedive. I’m thinking whatever those beings did to
me also did something to the cells in and around my lungs. I know it sounds
insane, but it’s the truth.”
“What exactly did they do? Did they abduct you?”
“One night we saw the ship just beyond the mountain behind
our house. It just hovered around slowly and then sped off. The second time it
came, I was sitting outside in the backyard. It hovered in the air about forty
feet above me and the next thing I knew they shined a light beam on me. It was
like a laser beam except that the space inside the beam almost appeared to be a
liquid or gas. There were what looked like bubbles floating around in it and
yet I could breathe. I didn’t feel anything but I was unable to move.”
“What did the ship look like?”
“It looked like the typical craft you see on those UFO
documentaries. It was saucer shaped.”
At that point I knew it was us. The weird beings from the
galaxy humans refer to as Andromeda don’t have saucer shaped ships. I also knew
LeAnne was wrong. The aerial scanning we do is non-invasive and is basically
just imaging. It couldn’t possibly affect her cells. I wanted to say something
positive but I knew I had to be careful what I said. “From what I’ve read,
UFO’s are just observing us. I don’t think they do anything that harms humans.”
The conversation about UFOs and aliens hit too close to
home. It was awkward and I was afraid I would make a mistake and say something
stupid. I was anxious for the nurse to rescue me.