The Good Mom (21 page)

“But it's overnight...the two of us alone?”

“Yeah. Of course.” He tilted his head at her. “Does that make you nervous? Because I love you, Ashley. I really do think I love you. And only you.”

How could she say no to him after that?

Especially since after the way he had put it, she really wanted to go camping with him, too.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

IT'S JUST A TEST
, Ashley told herself.

Maybe she and Aidan wouldn't even be compatible. Maybe he would be tired of her after spending a weekend—two days and two nights together.

In such a case, they could both laugh it off.
Oh, well. It wasn't meant to be, sorry.

Because honestly, there were so many reasons why they shouldn't be together, or even get along.

Her son, for one thing. The bulk of Ashley's time needed to be spent with Brandon, at least until she got him through the rest of his high school years and out of the house, hopefully to college. That was her biggest priority. Brandon always came first with her.

But Brandon likes Aidan, too.

Doesn't he?

These were the thoughts and questions that Ashley tormented herself with as she worked with her customers on Monday.

She'd promised Aidan an answer by Friday. He said that he'd already arranged the trip, that he would go by himself if she said no, but that he'd rather not.

Brandon wouldn't find out—he would be on a weekend camping trip of his own.

Why not go with Aidan? She wanted to. She wanted to share a tent—a bed—with him. Her cheeks flushed to think of it, her body tingled, her heart beat faster. Aidan was constantly in her thoughts, in the back of her mind nearly every moment. He said he loved her. It just felt...so remarkable to her. And so natural.

On Monday night at seven o'clock, Aidan arrived at her apartment for his last tutoring session with Brandon before his test.

She hadn't made her decision yet. She wanted to go with Aidan. She was
tempted
to go with him. But they couldn't even put their heads together and whisper about it, because Brandon needed all of their attention.

“You're ready for tomorrow. You know that,” Aidan told her son quietly.

“I hope so.” Brandon picked at the sticker on his wrist's cast. He and Aidan were sitting at Ashley's kitchen table the night before her son's big test, and all Ashley could do for him was agonize. Maybe give him a big breakfast in the morning and say an extra prayer.

“What's going to happen is that I'll go in to the test room with you,” Aidan told him. “We'll sit before the proctor, and the proctor will give you your test. You should take a moment to look the whole thing over, get familiar with it.”

“What if I see a problem I can't answer?” Brandon asked.

“Then move past that question and read the next one. The problems that you're feeling unsure about, save until the end. You'll have an hour for the test, so you want to make the most of it.”

“Okay.” Brandon nodded. “That makes sense.”

“You'll know what to do. You've studied, and you're well practiced. You just need to remember to stay calm and focus. One step at a time, the way that we've been working.”

“Can I talk to you about the hard problems, Dr. Lowe?”

“Now or tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

Aidan shook his head. He looked so serious, and Ashley was touched that the two men in her life had become so important to each other. Aidan would make a wonderful father—she could see it in the way he interacted with Brandon. And Brandon obviously looked up to Aidan. He depended on him now.

“Brandon,” Aidan said. “The proctor will be watching me closely. I can't give the appearance that I'm helping you with anything other than writing. Just like we do during our tutoring sessions, you tell me what to write and I'll write it.”

Brandon sighed. “This is so stressful.”

Tell me about it
, Ashley silently agreed. She was washing the sink, giving it a good—if relatively quiet—scrubbing while she listened to the two talk.

“I really need to pass, Dr. Lowe.” The panic in Brandon's voice was palpable.

“I think you can pass. But you know what, Brandon, it's more important that
you
think you can pass.”

Her son sighed. “What will happen if I don't?”

“Don't think that way,” Aidan warned. “That's called defeatist thinking, and it will bring you down all kinds of bad paths. Visualize the best results happening tomorrow. You'll be much better off, trust me.”

Brandon was listening as intently as she was. He just wasn't showing it.

She met Aidan's gaze across the table. Calm brown eyes. Solidly faithful. Always dependable. She felt strong just looking at him.

Aidan swallowed, his Adam's apple rising and falling. Glancing at his watch, he stood. “It's time for me to go now.” He looked seriously at Brandon. “Get a good night's sleep. I'll meet you at St. Bart's tomorrow.”

Brandon stood, too. “I'll walk you out,” he said to Aidan.

At the door, Aidan paused to glance at her for the briefest of moments. In that one glance, he told her so much.

He was waiting for her answer. He still wanted her to go with him. He
yearned
for her.

She put her hand to her chest, taking a deep breath to calm herself. She just...wanted to be with him so much, too.

Do it!
A new, bold part of her was speaking up, urging her to consider her needs. Because she did have needs of her own, apart from her child, and until Aidan, she'd been pushing those away, convinced that they weren't important, that Brandon's needs were all that mattered.

But Brandon was doing better now. More than that, he was doing well. Since Aidan had come into their lives, her son was focused on his studies. Making headway with his future.

Even Aidan's advice, “Visualize the best results happening tomorrow,” seemed to be speaking to her, as well.

I think he will pass his test
, she actually thought.

They felt so relieving, so comforting, these messages of hope.

She believed them. She believed in Aidan. They could work. She and Aidan could make a future together happen.

If Brandon passed his test, and all was well with him, she would take it as a sign. His passing could usher in a new time for her. She could be safe to explore a weekend alone with Aidan, focusing on
their
relationship.

Please, Brandon
, she thought, as she watched her son exit their apartment with Aidan, headed for the street,
Please pass this test tomorrow. Because if you do, then I will go.

* * *

T
HE
NEXT
MORNING
, Aidan walked into the examination room in a hopeful but reflective mood.

It had occurred to him last night that these weeks with Ashley had actually changed him. Who had ever thought that after Afghanistan, he could talk about positive thinking and best outcomes?

Aidan blew out a breath and gave Brandon an encouraging nod. The boy settled into his seat, black cast raised, and looking scared but determined.

That's it—believe
, he willed Brandon. “You can do it,” he mouthed to the boy.

Every fiber in Aidan's body was rooting for Brandon LaValley to overcome his challenges and rise to the occasion he'd practiced and worked and sacrificed so much for.

The room proctor entered. He passed out the test papers and a blue booklet for Aidan to write in. Aidan and Brandon had already received their instructions. At the proctor's nod, Brandon's test began.

The boy started slowly, a bit unsure. Aidan itched to send him an encouraging smile, but he was aware of the proctor who watched over the two of them as Brandon took his exam separately from the other boys.

Aidan wouldn't do anything to hurt Brandon's chances. He had to force himself to remain still and calm. To copy the numbers and symbols that Brandon dictated to him.

As the minutes ticked by, Brandon seemed to pick up confidence. He dictated more quickly.

He was doing a good job. Aidan privately kept track of the boy's progress. When the test finished and Aidan silently tallied the boy's results, it was all he could do to keep the knowledge to himself.

“Time is up, please.” The test proctor collected Brandon's paper.

Aidan stood and stretched. Brandon did likewise.

“Well?” he whispered to Aidan.

Aidan approached the proctor. “I'd like to talk to Brandon privately for a moment before he returns to class.”

“Certainly, Dr. Lowe.”

Aidan took Brandon into the quiet hallway. While Brandon looked up at him with wide eyes, as if holding his breath, Aidan drew the boy's cell phone from his own pocket.

“Your mom told me to give this back to you if I thought you did well today. And you did really great.” He handed the boy his phone.

Brandon clasped it and held it to his chest, which swelled with the emotion of the moment. Aidan couldn't hide his own smile at Brandon's joy.

“You think I did well?” Brandon asked. Moisture glittered in his eyes. It struck Aidan that Brandon seemed more affected by his praise than by the return of the phone.

Aidan hadn't expected that reaction. Not at all.

He felt his own eyes growing moist. He and Brandon had grown gradually closer over the past weeks, but in ways that men bonded, not like he and Ashley were slowly bonding. Teen boys were unique. Aidan hadn't been totally sure that he'd been getting through to Brandon until this moment.

“You rocked it, kid,” he said, his own voice sounding hoarse. “But I knew you could. I think you can do anything in your life that you put your mind to. I'm glad I got to work with you, and not just because you're a Sunshine Club kid, or a Captains ball boy or a St. Bart's student. I'm glad to know you because of you. You're a really remarkable person. Just keep being your best self, and everything will work out for you.”

As he spoke, Aidan knew he was laying it on a little thick, but life was so short. He had to be honest and tell the people who were important to him just what they meant while he still had the chance.

Brandon didn't seem to mind. The kid was so emotional over the joy of having achieved something real, something that meant a lot to him, something he'd fought so hard for.

Brandon ducked his head, leaned forward and hugged Aidan, the cast on his arm solidly sticking into Aidan's back.

Aidan swallowed back the lump in his throat as he hugged Brandon fiercely. “You'll be okay,” he said. “You know that, right?”

Brandon held on to him for a long time. Aidan had never been a big hugger, but in this case, he would hug the boy all day if that was what Brandon wanted.

Finally, Brandon let go. His eyes were wet and the tip of his nose was red. Aidan felt a lump in his throat, too.

“I couldn't have done it without you,” Brandon mumbled. He scrubbed the back of his free hand over his nose.

Then he straightened, smiling shyly at Aidan. “I should, ah, get back to class.”

“Yeah,” Aidan agreed.

Brandon looked up at Aidan as if he wanted to say something else. Aidan waited, giving him the chance to gather his thoughts.

“Um, will you type your number into my phone?” Brandon mumbled.

Aidan blinked. Brandon had just given him the highest compliment an adult could get from an almost-teen.

“Sure,” he said, smiling.

Brandon pressed his finger on the phone's screen a few times, and then awkwardly handed the phone over.

It occurred to Aidan that this act might put more pressure on his relationship with Ashley. She hadn't agreed to spend the weekend with him yet. She said she was still thinking about it. He understood; it was a big decision for her. She might not have had another committed relationship before, other than with her son and her sister. Aidan knew he was asking for a lot from her. But he had faith that she loved him, too. That she was ready to figure out how to build a new life, and that she didn't have to be a single mom forever if she didn't want to be.

He finished typing in his phone number and then handed the phone back to the kid. Even if the worst happened—which he didn't want to imagine—Ashley couldn't be upset if Brandon wanted to call him now and then. That's what a mentoring relationship was.

Yeah, but you've fallen in love with your mentee's mother
, a small voice said in his head.

“So, um, are you still going to tutor me?” Brandon asked.

Truthfully, he hadn't been thinking beyond the short term much until now. He'd been drifting since he'd been home—healing, Ashley had called it—not really sure what he wanted or what he was going to do, beyond a vague plan of escaping from what his life had been before.

But now everything was changing. He wanted to stay closer to Ashley and Brandon—and besides, renovations were still ongoing at his condo. He had time to see what developed with Ashley. And he did like tutoring Brandon.

“Sure,” Aidan said. “If you want me to. And if your mom says it's okay. I'm not, ah, committed to anything yet.”

Brandon nodded. “I'll tell her I want you to still come after dinner and tutor me.”

“Okay.” It might be sticky if Ashley decided she wasn't ready to be with him. But Aidan didn't want to accept that happening. He decided to be optimistic, just as she'd taught Brandon to be. And him, too. “I'll let you handle that conversation, then.”

“I'm going to be away this weekend,” Brandon said. “The Outdoor Club is having a hiking trip.”

“Your mom told me. Where are you going?” he asked.

“The White Mountains.”

That was a range in New Hampshire. Aidan nodded. “A part of the Appalachian Trail goes through that part of the state. I plan to hike that myself at some point.”

“Will you do a section-hike or a through-hike?”

“You know about the Appalachian Trail?” he asked, surprised.

“Yes. Our science teacher showed us pictures. He's our Outdoor Club adviser, too. He's done the through-hike twice. Once northbound, and once southbound.”