Authors: Lily White,Dawn Robertson
Our deaths would save others – she knew it and she believed it as much as I.
“I bought steak – I hope you like it rare, I hate overcooking it and losing the flavor.” I was rambling because I didn’t know what else to say. What words exist when you have to look at the person you’ve grown to love, knowing that you were about to tell them goodbye. I hoped that the universe would be kind – would allow us to walk into our next life together, finally delivering us to a place where we could rest – where we could feel the sun on our skin and where we could know that we’d accomplished everything we’d been created to do.
We ate in silence, only the sounds of our forks and knives could be heard scraping across our plates. Once we were done, I didn’t bother cleaning up the table before leading her into the living room where I had a fire prepared. Beside the fireplace, I’d placed a table with nothing more than a bottle of red wine and two glasses sitting on its surface.
Her eyes flicked to the bottle and she shook her head ‘no’ so subtly that I wondered for a second if I’d seen her reaction correctly. Her lips soon followed suit and she voiced a sad objection to what she knew was to come.
“I – I don’t want to drink that, Gabriel. I don’t want to leave this world the same type of drunk that I was for all the years I’ve wasted.”
My heart pounded painfully in my chest and I reached for her, pulling her into my arms and sitting down on the couch with her in my lap. I held her, attempting to comfort her in our final moment, my hand stroking down the mahogany silk of her hair.
“This will be the easiest way, Eleni.” My voice cracked with emotion I never knew I could feel and I thanked God that I could at least experience this before surrendering my life to its purpose.
“I can’t.” Her voice was weak at first, but on her next statement, it became strong. “I won’t.”
An odd mixture of anger and sympathy washed over me and I grimaced to imagine that despite what I’d done to gain peace in our last moment – it would be violence that took us out in the end. There was no more time – no more thought – and no possibility for a different decision. I’d dragged this out for longer than I was allowed. If we didn’t end it now, the demons would return – would haunt us until we hurt not only ourselves, but also every living person around us.
We were poison - her and I - and I refused to allow any more blood to fall on our hands. Our souls were already damaged – already cursed to wallow in misery and the unending nightmare of our existence. Only death could cleanse us and only death could set us free.
With as much calm as I could force in my voice, I said, “You WILL drink it, Eleni. It won’t hurt. We’ll drink and we’ll fall asleep. There doesn’t have to be pain, there doesn’t have to be tears. We can do this together, or I can do it for you and join you once you’ve gone. But our time has run out. Turning back is no longer an option – it never has been.”
“No, Gabriel. It doesn’t have to be like this.” Her bottom lip quivered and tears welled in her eyes. But her words caused the fire of anger to smother the sympathy I once felt. My peace was slipping from my hands and my muscles tensed when I realized that even this small bit of happiness could never be granted.
I closed my eyes for a brief second and opened them again when I felt the warmth of her palm on my cheek. She was begging – begging for her life and mine. I shook my head in protest. Violence raged through me and the silence I’d previously enjoyed was broken apart when the demons laughed once again.
She’ll never follow you. What made you think it would be so easy? Beat her – rape her – make it painful. Only pain cleanses the soul – you were never meant for anything more.
Pushing her off my lap, I dropped her to the floor and she moaned when the bones of her body struck against the ground. Reaching down, I gripped my fingers into her hair and pulled her up off the floor so that her feet could no longer touch. She screamed and the sound turned the simmering embers within me into a uncontrollable inferno of hatred and anger. Tears escaped my eyes because I never wanted it to be like this – but she’d left me no choice.
End Her.
Swinging my arm, I released her hair and she flew across the room, crashing against the table, the fire burning behind her creating a red glow that surrounded her body. Her eyes widened when she saw me charging towards her. She screamed as she begged me to stop.
I expected my beauty to lay helpless, to fall beneath my weight while my hands gripped around her neck. I expected to look down to watch the light die in her eyes before I pushed off to take my own.
But, as usual, life didn’t turn out as I’d expected. When I reached for her, she rolled away, barely escaping my reach and she pushed up before running towards the kitchen.
I followed, my feet pounding beneath me, my heart feeling like it would burst from my chest and when I rounded the corner I stopped dead in my tracks, looking down to see the knife in my stomach.
My jaw dropped open in shock and I looked up into her face to see tears streaming down her cheeks. Looking down again, I watched as her hands pulled away from the knife’s handle, blood covering her pale skin, the palms of her hands shaking as she pulled them back to her body.
Gripping the knife, I screamed when I jerked it free, listening to the metal clang as it fell to the tile floor beneath my feet.
Instinct set in – kill or be killed – but I knew I was dead already. Bleeding profusely, I slipped in the crimson puddle that developed beneath me, my body crashed through the dinette where we’d just eaten. She ran, grabbing at whatever she could reach, throwing it at me to slow me down.
She wouldn’t stop me. She couldn’t. This was what was meant to be.
Pushing myself up from the floor, I chased her around the counter, slipping again, but looking up in time to see her for the final time.
The iron skillet in her hand slammed against the side of my head – once, twice, three times – until I was rendered immobile, swimming within the darkness that her final fight and her loss of loyalty had caused.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
~ Eleni ~
“HELP! Somebody fucking HELP ME!” I screamed as I burst out of the front door of my prison; the home that had kept me captive for the past month. The evening was cool, twilight coated the sky and the tiniest bit of the sun lit my way as I frantically ran to the next house on the street. The red dress Gabriel clothed me in was torn from the struggle and his blood covered my hands.
Tears streamed down my face at the thought that I might have killed him; killed the only man I’ve ever loved; but I had no other choice. He would have killed me tonight - killed us - and I couldn’t let that happen. He’d lost his mind. His sanity was gone, and I only prayed he was in some kind of peace.
I tripped as I ran up the stairs of a large brick house, my knee pouring blood but it didn’t stop me one bit. My hands frantically pounded on the door as I continued to scream for help. My finger obsessively pushed the doorbell, begging for someone to answer - quickly. My fear kicked up a notch wondering if Gabriel was following me, chasing me, but I was far too afraid to look back.
The door slowly opened and an older woman stood there with shock on her face. Her hands rose to her mouth as she gasped at the sight of me.
“Please help me! My boyfriend, he attacked me!” I begged for her help and she quickly ushered me inside the safety of her house, locking the door behind us. I fell to my knees on the hardwood floor of her entryway, crying hysterically as she dialed 911 and begged for help in a voice almost as distressed as my own.
“He’s sick. Something is wrong with him, he snapped and said he had to kill me. I don’t know if he is dead or alive, he needs help!” The woman relayed the message to the authorities. “He lives next door, please send an ambulance to him.” I pleaded with total disregard for my own safety or wellbeing. I didn’t want to hurt him. I’d never wanted to hurt him - yet that was all I’d ever done.
In the distance I could hear the shrill of sirens as the woman cradled me like a baby, promising me everything would be okay. The motherly instinct in her helped me to relax; but only slightly because my concern for him was far too great.
“What is your name?” she quietly asked me.
“Eleni.” I whispered and the tears began to fall again. I could hear his voice speaking to me, calling me by my name so sweetly in our last moments together. He was finally at peace, loving and tender. I prayed he was in the arms of his family. It was where he wanted to be, but his own demons just wouldn’t allow it. My heart was broken with the weight of the evening and everything that had happened.
He said I was glowing. He recognized the change in my body, but the demons clouded him to the point of thinking it was because I was ready to die. Instead, I was so full of life, ready to bring a new soul into the world - a life we’d created together - a life that could save my own. I could only pray I didn’t kill him, because I knew that deep down, I would never be able to live with myself if that was the damage I caused.
A knock at the door startled me and the beautiful lady got up from the couch to answer the door. I willed myself to get up and follow her; knowing I would have to speak to the police. Before I can give them my story, I needed to make sure they’d go next door and save him; save him from the injuries I’d inflicted on him and save him from his own demons before he ended his life himself.
“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you a few questions.” The uniformed officer stated as his eyes dragged over my tattered body.
“First, you need to make sure he’s okay. He’s sick, and he needs help. Please just make sure the ambulance gets to him. I’m begging you! I didn’t want to hurt him, but he was going to kill me.” I spit the words out so quickly, it took me a moment to catch my breath.
“We have an ambulance over there already, Miss. Do you need medical attention?” I was momentarily relieved, but his question snapped me back into reality. Yes, I needed medical attention; I needed to make sure that everything that took place didn’t harm the most precious thing in my life.
“Yes,” was all I could muster as he guided me to an ambulance just pulling up at the curb.
My gaze drifted to Gabriel’s house at the same moment the medical personal were wheeling a stretcher out of the front door. His bloody, lifeless body was strapped down. He was motionless and my tears began to fall harder. They rushed him into the back of the waiting ambulance and it took off down the quiet suburban road - lights and sirens disrupting the peaceful evening. If those people only knew the kind of nightmare that had been taking place in that well-manicured house in the middle of their street.
Families stood at the curb watching the show. I wanted to flip them off, but they were only curious as to what kind of upset was taking place on their street. Parents held their children closely, cradling their heads and shielding their eyes from our blood soaked bodies.
The woman continued to stand by my side as the emergency medical team helped me into the ambulance and started to ask a series of questions that I answered without missing a beat.
“Were you raped, Miss?”
“No, but we did have intercourse.” I responded like a robot.
“Are you on any medications?”
“No.”
“Do you have any medical conditions?”
“I may be pregnant.”
They listened to my replies and wrote them down. The ambulance stayed stationary and the officer notified me that he would meet me at the hospital to take my statement. The scars and bruises on my body must have been proof enough that my story of self- defense was real.
“Do you want me to come with you, Eleni?” The woman asked. Tears pooled in her eyes as she stood next to the officer. I wanted to say yes, because in reality, I thought I needed her. I needed someone because I was so fucking alone and I hated every minute of it. I was scared of what would happen. I was scared of Gabriel’s health and future.
“Will you please?”
She nodded and ran to lock up her home before joining me in the back of the ambulance.
We began to move and the woman held my hand.
“Can I ask you your name?” I was quiet, but curious.
“My name is Adele.” She quietly whispered to me while kissing my pale hand.
“Adele, the patron saint of family.” I whispered as my eyes began to close. I couldn’t fight the sleepiness anymore. The adrenaline coursed through my veins, but it seemed to be no match for whatever was wrong with me.
My stomach turned, my muscles ached and I realized quickly what Gabriel had done.
“I think he poisoned me.” It was all I could mutter before the ambulance went black.
Chapter Forty
~ Gabriel ~
An alarm beeped beside me. A never-ending sound that drove me from my slumber, that distracted me enough to keep me from falling back into the painless oblivion I’d thought I’d found. I wanted to continue to swim in the darkness – to drown in the blood she’d released from my body. Death welcomed me with open arms whispering to me, telling me that, finally, I was released from the Hell I’d been forced to suffer in life.
But, as usual – it was all lies – a beautiful picture painted before me of what could have been – but what would never be. Something placed just outside my reach. I could stretch my arms all I wanted and I would still fall short.
A dream never fucking realized.
It wasn’t supposed to go the way that it did. We were supposed to slip away – find happiness in a world away from the fucking nightmares and heartache and pain that had plagued me since the day when my parents wanted to take me to a park.
I was crying. I wanted ice cream and they said I couldn’t have any until after we’d spent the day outside.
I was a brat. I told them I hated them.
Maybe that was the reason I was doomed to stop living while being forced to endure the world that couldn’t understand I was no longer there.
Something foreign overtook me, a tightening in my chest – pain caused by something other than the wounds in my body and the machinations of the people standing over my bed. I opened my eyes to see them beneath me, speaking to each other in hurried words, moving their hands over my torso while a tube was shoved down my throat. Bright lights illuminated my skin and I shuddered to see the scars I’d always hated made plain beneath the ink I’d used to disguise them.