The Glass Secret (Chain of Secrets) (51 page)

He interrupted. “Don’t try to figure it out. I am working on this for all of us. Concentrate on your novel while I am gone.”

“Wait, who is all of us? Do you know Rain? Is he okay? I don’t understand. What is this all about?”

“I know it doesn’t make sense to you at this time, but trust me it will soon. Forgive me. I must go, now.” His voice seemed strained.

“I don’t want you to go...please stay.” A tear—no, tears fell from my eyes.

“I would love to...much more than you know.”

“Then tell me, what it is I don’t know.”

“I will explain it all when I return.” His body seemed to float across the floor. He stood inches in front of me and took my hands in his. He was so cold. My hands turned blue instantly when he touched me.
How could that be?

“You are so cold,” I cried. “Are you dead?” With a shaky inhalation I asked, another rhetorical question, trying to contain my tears.

“Yes and no. I exist because of you,” he softly whispered.

“You mean I created you?” I wrinkled my nose, brushing my tears away with my fingers.

He seemed amused by my grandiose comment. “More than that...I am still a breath of life, as you are...but different. ”

“Please, explain.”

“If I told you, you would not like me so much anymore, and you would not forgive me for behaving so cowardly.”

“You, a coward? I don’t buy that. In my opinion, you are the one with the advantage here. Look at you,” I smiled admiring his powerful build. “If you ever had to fight, you would win hands down against any man. ”

“My lack of courage didn’t come from my lack of physical strength—my heart was weak and I hurt—please, you wouldn’t understand. And, I am ashamed to admit the truth. I could not bear the shame if you didn’t understand my choices.”

“Don’t worry I will understand,” I said, nodding with strong conviction.

Without hesitation I wrapped my arms around his waist, determine to make him stay. When doing so, the intense magnetism he exuded almost zapped the life out of me. My fingers passed through him, like a cool stream of running water. The impression of my arms around his liquid form helped to warm him, but he was still so cold. My entire body began to shiver uncontrollably from our contact. I feared I may freeze and break into a millions pieces.

His cold-stone breath mingling with mine, taking my breath away, it almost hurt to inhale, but I could not accurately register my own pain. I wanted to act on instinct and pull away; although I could not, I had to warm him. He needed the unrelenting heat that my body radiated. Within seconds, he grew in strength and color and became nearly tangible beneath my touch. He held me tenderly, but only for a fraction of a moment, long enough for his fingers to brush down the length of my cheek, wiping away my tears.

He recognized that his spirit drew on mine, stealing my mortal energy. He instinctually jolted back, releasing our embrace.

“I didn’t realize I could hurt you, possibly kill you in this state.” His voice trembled. I could see such rue in his eyes. “Please, it’s hard for me to resist touching you, again. You must keep your distance.”

“But, what about last night?” I asked, feeling the heat rushing back into my cheeks although the rest of me still felt frozen.

“Oh my love, I can’t explain last night...except for it had to have been a dream we both shared or a phenomena. No. More like a gift,” his words echoed.

“Oh, I wish you didn’t have to leave me. Are you crossing over? Can I go with you?” When I spoke my lips quivered, not because I was cold, even though I was, but because I felt dead inside. In that moment, I wanted to die too if that’s what it took to be with him. My heart filled to the capacity of unexplainable grief, knowing he was dying in degree right before my eyes, and I didn’t know how to save him. My mind zipped in many different directions. I wanted him to live or at least exist here in my world. “Please, tell me what I can do to help you?” I begged him, feeling unsure of my own fate, considering his previous warning.

“Is that what you want, Brielle?”

“Yes, of course I do.” I admitted louder than what I had intended to. “Can I come with you, please?”

“Never. Not where I am going. I can’t allow this—it’s too risky.” He turned from me. I could see he was beginning to fade again.

“What do you mean? If there’s something I can do, tell me and I will.”

“No. I cannot risk the outcome, besides you wouldn’t feel the same if you knew what I am capable of....” He paused. “I don’t think you could fathom the entire truth of what I have done to your life, or could do again. I am so ashamed.” His large frame buckled at the knees. I knew he didn’t have much time.

“What have you done to me?” I asked breathlessly then added before he could answer. “You haven’t done anything to hurt me my sweet Knight. All you have done is watched me, that’s not a crime, like the night on the staircase,” I tilted my head shyly. “You were pretty bold the first night we met—I was intrigued at best, even then.”

“Really?” He chuckled, “I remember you wanted to spray me with your little gadget.”

“I remember too,” I said sheepishly. “That was when I thought you were human. Sorry,” I squealed lowly and wrinkled my nose.

“Brielle, it’s okay. But, that is not the time I am referring to,” he replied then warily said, “I have caused you so much pain. ”

“When?” I blinked, tightening my lips, rolling my eyes slightly, contemplating what time he had meant. “Oh...you mean scaring me. Yes, you did frighten me a few times, but I would hardly call that hurting me. There’s nothing wrong with feeling a few chills here and there.” I blushed because the chills I was referring to were thrill-bumps. “You have given me so much more. The gifts, the flowers—just knowing you were there gave me so much to look forward to every day. It was so comforting. I couldn’t imagine not having you in my life now. As a matter of fact, last night was—well, I have never—ever...” I paused stumbling on my words, then shivered remembering the pleasure. I couldn’t bring myself to confess to him that I was a virgin. Although there was no evidence on the sheets that I had lost my virginity; however, I felt as if I had. I sighed and said, “I have never felt so loved.” Which, in essence, was the truth.

“I must go...I cannot bear hurting you ever again. My job was to protect you, and I have failed miserably.”

“What? I don’t understand...you haven’t hurt me...please, tell me what you are talking about?”

“I am sorry, my time is short, and I must go into the light. As I said, it’s too much to grasp in the short time we have left. You would not believe me right now, my sweet Brielle. I can’t began to tell you and then leave you in a state of total confusion.”

“For Christ’s sake, you haven’t hurt me. So what, you have been haunting me. If I can believe that—I’m pretty sure I am capable of believing anything, and considering I just hugged a man that is almost invisible to me; I think this classifies me as pretty open-minded. I mean, for the love of God, you’re a ghost. A ghost,” I repeated, grasping the realization he was a ghost,
a ghost
. Hearing my own words out loud almost sounded as if I was trying to convince myself of the fact.

His fingers gently stroked my cheek. “It’s okay. That’s what I am. Just a word—man calls a ghost. Nothing tangible. I’m not a whole man in anyone’s eyes. I must go now.”

“What? Don’t say that! It’s not the truth.” I felt tears pressing in my eyes. I continued to hold my ground and ranted on. “I can’t blot out everything I feel for you with a stroke on the cheek. So what, you’re a ghost,” I said, unintentionally reconfirming his immortal existence. Not to mention the void of life that he felt in his soul. “You’re a real man, as real as they come. You’re not a ghost—just, well, just a...” I realized there was no recovery in what I could say at that point.

His eyes fell to the floor, he seemed to fade further. Did I shame him? Were my words banishing his existence? No wonder he didn’t feel that I was capable of believing whatever it was he was keeping from me. I, myself, could not believe I was seeing an apparition of a ghost, let alone talking to one; I mean outside of a dream. Reality began to sink in.

“Brielle, we have been waiting for you for so long...but now I don’t think I have the heart to tell you why. It’s better this way.”

“We?”

My eyes flickered around him, scanning the room rapidly, expecting to see more ghosts. Surely, this is what he meant by
we
have been waiting for you.

When I turned my eyes back up to him, the muscles in his jaw clenched, his shoulders tensed, and his eyes connected with mine. The sunrays beamed through his withering image. I clutched onto his barely tangible hands, holding onto him as if he were my last breath. He passed through my fingers like water. The glow in his eyes grew dim and distant. His far-away gaze raked over my flesh once more.

“I will fight for you, Brielle. Until there is no air left to breathe. I have loved you long.” His voice trailed off into the abyss of bleakness.

The love he spoke of and that I felt too, banished the realization that he was leaving me. I felt tears dripping from my eyes as I witnessed his form scatter like tiny pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. He then dissolved like vapor into thin air, it happened so quickly, like a flash bulb burning out. The rays of the daylight absorbed my ghost along with my unanswered questions. He had left, and when he did, my sobs burst into a river of tears.

For the first time, in what felt like forever, his presence was completely gone. It felt as if the earth had fallen off its axis. I sat on the edge of my bed, for a long time, staring at the empty space where he had been seconds ago. A warm feeling coiled in my soul, collectively knowing that he was in fact real, and the anatomy of his spirit would return to me. He had to.

I trusted him more than I did myself. His presence had an absolute powerful affect on my heart. I reasoned that I could not let myself fall in love with a ghost. I really knew nothing about him, and his warnings caused such confusion. What kind of life would I have loving an immortal man? It was absurd to even ponder.

In a beat, an overwhelming desire to be near the hearts on the staircase came over me. I hastily pushed myself up and made a beeline to the particular stair. Maybe, I would feel his presence there. After Rain had pushed me aside, my Dark Knight filled the void. I couldn’t let him go, too.

Tears still lingered in my eyes. In that moment I felt dead, as if I were the only person left in the world, comforted by the thought of a man, no a spirit, who I hardly knew. I wanted him back. What was happening to me? My heart was breaking all over again.

As I sat down on the step just above the two hearts, my pulse leaped. The etching in the outline of the hearts appeared profoundly deeper than before.

Then out of nowhere his smoky voice permeated from the walls.
“
Brielle, write, write the story; share with the world how we met
One Night in Paris.
”

His words left me longing to turn back the time to the night we met on the steps. I wished he hadn’t taken so long to show himself. I would never forget that night in the brownstone. His voice had been etched in my mind. And, now in hindsight I somehow knew he had been with me since. Watching and waiting for the perfect storm. Our story is definitely worth telling one day.

I had been considering writing my novel about the two lovers who etched the hearts in the step. I felt compelled to tell their story. Of course, that would take finding out who they were first. As for “our story”—it was just beginning in my book. What would I say at this point? That he’d been haunting me. Scaring me at times. Making love to me, and although raw and sheet clawing and intense, the fact that he was a ghost remained. A ghost that will return, but what about the warning that he left me with? A cool gentle breeze enveloped me.
“Wear the key Brielle.”
My eyes fell to the carved hearts on the step...



His words inspired me to write although his warnings frightened me.

I looked over at Dr. Tagorski. His face was as white as a sheet!

“Brielle, this is one of the most remarkable stories I have ever heard in all my practice. What happened next, did the
ghost come back?” he questioned me with bated breath.

I wondered if Dr. Tagorski really believed in other worldly spirits, or was he just pacifying my story? But, it didn’t matter I knew it was true.

“Oh yes...he did.” My face heated. If I could see it, I’m sure my cheeks were a shade of crimson red.

“I wonder why he said he was a coward?” Dr. Tagorski genuinely asked

“Uh...that,” I sighed and frowned, then added, “he wasn’t a coward, just broken like glass. He was sharp, smart and strong. I wish that he had met you. I’m certain you could have helped him with his demons.” 

“Really?  It would have been my pleasure.”

Maybe he does believe!
I hoped he wasn’t trying to manipulate me into telling him all my secrets.

“Really?” I peered at him suspiciously.

“Did Monsieur Rain ever return as he promised?”

“Hmmm, Rain...well...” I paused, adding that
tsking
sound from smacking the tip of my tongue hard against my palette. “I dreamt about him every night for almost a year—I still do...but no, I can’t remember if I ever saw him again...I hope so, but...”