Read The Girl Who Raced Fairyland All the Way Home Online
Authors: Catherynne M. Valente
And all of them empty.
September walked the streets of Mummery, her blood beating madly in her brow, her nerves sawing back and forth over her senses. The unlit street lamps stared down unsettlingly at herâeach one was a wooden club ending in a very nearly alive-looking carving of a fool's smiling or frowning or laughing or weeping face and gaudy hat. The mammoth juggling torches cast a fitful orange light through the haze. She thought she could hear voices, footsteps, but when she followed, she found only another alley ending with a locked door in a house of fortune-teller's cards or barred windows in the back of a gargantuan fiddle.
“I can't be the only person in a whole city,” she said to yet another dead end.
Rustling sounds shivered through the sweeping silks overhead.
“Never the only,” they whispered. “Never the only one, no one's alone, never the only one in a world so full.”
Don't listen to that stage whispering,
September's shadow whispered, trailing over the cobbles and curbs. She could hear Halloween in her bones, but the shadow's voice made no sound in the empty, echoing city.
Mummery is a bad old girl and she only wants to bruise you up a bit before she pounces. We pull this eerie act in Fairyland-Below all the time. I once made a gnome think she'd gone back in time to the Middle Evil era, just for fun. It's all just for fun
.
You
are
a naughty minx, aren't you, Mummers? Yes, you are! Who's a menace? Who's a creaky old slum?
“Did you hear that?” September said sharply. She had heard itâEll's flame popping and roaring into life. He always made a little gulping noise right before he spouted off, and she
had
heard it, down that street there. She darted off after it, running in the quiet, her own breath as loud as Wyvern's fire in her ears. The fool's-head street lamps seemed to laugh silently as she sped by.
But down that street there September found nothing but a bridge of shuffling cards, all aces, from a deck so old it had turned the color of a cow's eyes, without even lovely familiar diamonds and clubs and spades. Instead, the bridge riffled with scythes, nooses, vialsâand hearts, for everything changes but hearts. The bridge arched over a river of mulled wineâbut it ended halfway across, shuffling into the air, dropping aces onto the burgundy current. The cards drifted downstream like barges to market.
“Ell?” September called out. “Blunderbuss? I'm here! Saturday?”
A bolt of saffron-colored silk twisted and sagged between two wooden flutes with lace curtains in each hole. A familiar blue face popped over the side.
“That's me! I'm Saturday!” her dear Marid said, and gave her a brilliant smile. “Aren't you
beautiful
? What's your name?”
September felt all the blood in her prickle and turn cold like a million terrible needles. Tears flooded her eyes. It was only one little bear-bite. How could it take Saturday away from her so completely, as though none of it had ever happened, as though her whole life had been a dream that no one wanted to hear about? How could it take their story from them? But it could. It had.
“You can't forget me. You just can't,” she whispered. “Everything else, but not me. Not us.”
Oh, Saturday,
whispered Halloween from the wall of the flute where the torchlight cast her.
Look at us and remember when all you wanted was for her to come back. It's your turn to come back. But what can we do against invisible bears sent by Time to punish you?
Saturday leaned forward at the waist and flipped over, winding the long silk behind him as he twirled slowly down to the street. “Why do you have that tattoo? That means you're married! My loss.” He looked into her eyes, full of interest, without a care in the lines of his face, without the least pain dragging down his brow.
“I'm not married.” September's throat got so thick she could hardly talk through it. “It was a trick we played on an octopus⦔
“Octopi are very dangerous.” Saturday whistled. “I'm impressed all over. How did you know my name?”
September reached out and touched his shoulder. She felt odd. If he didn't know her now, she'd no right to touch him as though he did.
“I knew you when you were older,” she said softly. “We went to the Moon. We sailed the sea. My name is September.”
“Oh! How wonderful, then. I look forward to becoming the Saturday who sails with you. Forgive me, I meet people out of order all the timeâbut then, you must know that, from our time on the Moon.”
September clutched her elbows with her hands to keep from coming apart on that wet street in a strange city. “I do know.”
The Marid clapped his hands. “Well, September-of-my-Moony-Future! We seem to have the place to ourselves, so what shall we do for a first date? First for me, I mean. I can teach you how to do a backflip into a double drop on the green silks back that way. Oh! I did see a mad wyvern with a turnip hanging off him and a very odd sort-of-knitted wombat thing? We should avoid them as best we can. When you meet mad folk on the road, some sort of story always starts up, and you've no control over how it goes.”
September wiped her eyes quickly. “Where? Where did you see them? Can you show me? It's important. They're not mad ⦠you will have known them, too, when you meet me.” Verb tenses were always so difficult with Saturday, but now it was worse than ever.
“Oh ⦠they're on the other side of the river ⦠it's a long way round. Wouldn't you rather walk the tightrope between the Unseelie Unicycle and Big Bacchus? If you don't fall, you get a lovely pair of black wings.”
September didn't want to smile. She didn't feel like smiling. But she knew this Saturday wouldn't know what she could do, and he'd be dazzled. She could never resist trying to impress him. She turned to the bridge of cards and moved her hands like she was dealing blackjack. It was a trick Sir Sanguine had taught her in the Redrum Cellar. That redcap could do anything with enough aces. The deathly playing cards shuddered and shuffled out, stretching to the other bank.
Saturday clapped his hands and to September's lonely heart it sounded like love. “Oh, September, I can't
wait
to meet you!” he cried.
Saturday took her hand and led her over the bridge of aces, down jackknifing streets, the angles of the alleys so sharp and steep that they tumbled down Mummery as much as they walked through it. And September heard Ell's gulping pre-flame sounds, and a refrain or two from an ancient fighting song of Wom, and they weren't phantomsâSaturday heard them, too. They followed the sounds and the cries and the song until they got close enough to hear another voice, a very familiar voice, bouncing off the high towers.
They burst, hand in hand, into a wide plaza ringed in immense marionette puppets without strings. They lay on their sides, sat cross-legged, stood bent over, their joined arms hanging down, rested shoulder to shoulder. They had doors in the soles of their shoes and lanterns lit in their eyes, shutters closed in their chests and old snow in the creases of their wooden hair. Under the gaze of the collapsed puppets, Ell and Blunderbuss fought for their lives.
September could hardly understand what she saw. A-Through-L spat his indigo fire at a girl in black. Blunderbuss fired passionfruits and horseshoes from her mouth, singing all the while. But the girl knocked both flame and fruit aside like bumblebees. She screeched back at them and fired arrow after silver arrow from her iceleaf bow. It was not a duel. It was a brawl, and the Marquess had already got an arrow through Blunderbuss's ear. The little block letters of the troll's alphabet danced around their feet. They saw September first and rolled toward her in a clattering wooden wave, beaming up at her with their
S
and
Q
and
E
and
W
and
B
's.
Iago, the Panther of Rough Storms, lay calmly out of harm's way, behind the broad side of a tiger-striped, flower-wheeled Model A Ford with a burlap sack over its spare tire. For in the lottery of steeds, the Marquess had found herself behind Aroostook's wheel, and she had driven the length of Fairyland inside September's automobile.
“It's mine,” the Marquess screamed as she nocked another arrow. “You nasty little thieves! You give it back! Give it
back
!”
September stared. Her mouth hung open. The Marquess was crying.
Now,
whispered Halloween, the Hollow Queen.
“She gave it to
me
!” wailed A-Through-L. “You've no right! I hate you! I
hate
you!
Hate
begins with
H
and I've never used it once but I'll use it on you! I hate your lions and I hate your hat and I hate your horrible cold Gaol and I won't give you anything!”
“You're drunk!” Blunderbuss barked. “Go sleep it off!”
Now,
hissed September's shadow.
Do it now, before she sees you!
“You stole it from me. Just give it back and I'll let you go. I promise. It's mine. It's all I have left!”
The voice of Ajax Oddson filled the plaza of marionettes. Saturday, who had forgotten ever having heard it before, clapped both hands over his ears.
“What's this in my own backyard? Why, it's two old friends and all their secret scars! You know what that means!”
As soon as she heard the Dandy's booming voice, September cried out: “Now, Maud, now!”
Out of September's own shadow came a second, a shadow hiding in shadow. The new shadow wore lace petticoats and long gloves and a very fine hat. She peeled off the black outline of Halloween's body and flew to herself, stretching out her hands with a terrible, eager love. The Marquess's shadow caught the Marquess up in her arms and whirled her round like a dancer at a ball. The Marquess looked into her own eyes in wonder and shock. Violet and green fireworks shot into the air above them. They began to spell out their words.
But before they could form into the
D
of
DUEL
, September unholstered her Rivet Gun from her back and shot the Marquess in the head.
Â
In Which Many Secret Longings See the Light, A-Through-L Loses His Treasure, and the Marquess Gets Her Comeuppance
A house snatched them all up out of Mummery in one swoop, as though it had been crouching in wait for hours and sprung out just when its cue had sounded. It looked much like a Spanish mosqueâif a giant had firmly stepped on it. All the curly broken door frames and crumbling tiled mosaics lay in pieces and parts, each blue-green wall propping up the other. Fragrant stacks of red wood and pools of seeping black mud dotted the halls. Moss covered every shattered pillar. September and her shadow, the Wyverary and his Blunderbuss, Saturday and Aroostook, the Marquess and her shadow, stood before a beautifully carved archway leading into a little courtyard where a shabby fountain gurgled valiantly as though it had never stopped since September last saw it. The arch read, as it always had:
THE HOUSE WITHOUT WARNING
Lye stood waiting for them, tears of liquid soap streaming down her face. All she could see was the Marquess, her friend, her Good Queen Mallow, Maud, the girl who ruled Fairyland for a little while, and lost everything, and clawed her way back. And now the Marquess was riveted to her shadow once more. September strapped down her smoking Rivet Gun on her back. The conspiracy had done its work. Ajax could not touch them here, or make them duel. He had no power in Lye's world. That is what happens when a person lives alone for so longâno one else can change their ways.
“What have you done?” the Marquess whispered.
Her shadow brushed a strand of magenta hair lovingly out of her face. “I missed you. Lye missed you. You got so lost for so long.”
The Marquess crouched down like a cornered wolf, looking wildly from shadow to shadow to golem to girl to wombat to Wyverary to Marid to Model A. Iago licked his front paw.
“
She
didn't miss me,” she said when her eyes fell on September.
“She did it for me,” said Maud, her shadowy face moving against a crumbled wall. “We had such a lovely time together in the underworld. Oh, Mallow, don't you remember me? All the things we did together? Don't you remember Father's farm and the house in Winesap and Mr. Map? Our ducks and our magic and our friends? We defeated Goldmouth. We put a pot of cocoa on every table in Fairyland. We knew Yes Magic and No Magic and a hundred other kinds. We were so good, once upon a time.”
“I want my book back,” Mallow whispered wretchedly.
“What are you talking about?” asked Lye, hurt that her Mallow had not run into her clean green arms at once.