Read The Gift in You: Discovering New Life Through Gifts Hidden in Your Mind Online
Authors: Caroline Leaf
Tags: #Religion & Science, #Christian Life, #Thought and Thinking, #General, #Religion, #Personal Growth, #Self-Actualization (Psychology)
The Gift in You: Discovering New Life Through Gifts Hidden in Your Mind (18 page)
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR:
{TOXIC SERIOUSNESS AS A GIFT-BLOCKER}
Toxic seriousness encompasses toxic schedules and toxic health, and I have put these all together in one chapter because they work hand-in- hand. If we work too hard we won't take proper breaks to have some fun and we will most likely make toxic choices about what to eat and whether to exercise.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the cycle of toxic thoughts and emotions and words and choices that we forget who we are - our true selves - and we seem to operate like automatons doing what we are supposed to do and barely surviving.
God came to give us life and life more abundantly, but when we are toxic and not walking in our gifts, this pours out into our outlook and can be reflected in our schedules, the way we manage time and the choices we make about our health. Our bodies are amazingly resistant and can be pushed to extremes. But at some point your body and your brain will say "enough."
We can become too serious, but having fun is more infectious than a virus. In fact, it is viral. Try to not laugh when those around you are in paroxysms of hysterical laughter. Try having a bad day when you have just had a good belly laugh.
In fact, having fun will
detox
your gift-blockers, improve your health and make you clever to boot because your gift is neurologically developed when you have fun. Having fun is one of the most powerful antidotes to stress you will ever find. And it's free. It's a tremendous resource God has built into your brain to bring perspective into your life, help surmount problems, add sizzle to your relationships and make you feel good.
I love having fun with my children. They do the craziest things and say the funniest things that make me laugh. I love going for walks with them and the dogs and hearing their stories. I love sitting in the
jacuzzi
with them and making up silly songs and voices and - well, anything that makes us laugh. Our eldest daughter loves finding funny quotes that make us laugh. And M loves telling jokes. Our second daughter has a way of making comments that has us rolling, so we all wait in anticipation. Our son is always playing with words in a really funny way. If we allowed our schedules to take over, we never would have these important moments.
The point is, we cannot afford to be too serious because it will contribute to the breakdown of our gifts.
Many studies show why laughter deserves to be known as "the best medicine" (Proverbs 17:22). It releases an instant flood of feel-good chemicals that boost the immune system. Almost instantly, it reduces levels of stress hormones. A really good belly laugh can make
cortisol
drop by 39%, adrenalin by 70% and the "feel-good hormone," endorphin, increase by 29%. It can even make growth hormones skyrocket by 87%! Other research shows how laughter boosts your immune system by increasing levels of immunity and disease- fighting cells.
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Just look at some of the myriad of benefits of having fun; humor gets both sides of your brain working together, which is one of the keys to releasing potential. Some studies even suggest that laughter helps to increase the flexibility of thought and is as effective as aerobic exercise in boosting health in body and mind.
In fact, according to research, laughing 100 to 200 times a day is equal to 10 minutes of rowing or jogging! This sounds more fun than the gym!
Laughter quite literally dissolves distressing toxic emotions because you can't feel mad or sad when you laugh. When you laugh and have fun, endorphins are released which make you feel so great and at peace, those toxic thoughts can't get out of your brain fast enough. Fun protects your heart because when you laugh and enjoy yourself, your body releases chemicals that improve the function of blood vessels and increase blood flow, protecting against heart attack. Fun reduces damaging stress chemicals quickly, which, if they hang around in your body for too long, will make you mentally and physically sick. Fun and laughter also increase your energy levels.
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Wow . . . can you afford not to laugh?
Having fun through play and laughter is the cheapest, easiest and most effective way to control toxic thoughts and emotions and their toxic stress reactions. It rejuvenates the mind, body and spirit and gets positive emotions flowing.
And while you are having fun why don't you throw in an exercise routine to help boost your gift?
Exercise gets the heart to pump faster and more efficiently. Increased blood flow nourishes and cleanses the brain and organs, supplying the brain with much-needed oxygen and making you feel mentally sharper because you will cycle through your gift, your unique pattern of thought more efficiently. We need blood with oxygen to think, and we need the waste products of metabolism removed to think clearly and build memory and function properly. Exercise helps with this. If you break into a sweat, you will also get the added benefit of mood improvement prompted by the release of endorphins.
Exercise helps generate new brain cells. And stimulates the production and release of BDNF (neuronal growth factor) which plays a really important role in changing thinking.
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There are many different types of aerobic exercise, from running to cycling. Even better are forms of exercise such as brisk walking that allow you time to stop and smell the roses, another helpful activity to calm and focus your mind. Try finding a form of exercise that you enjoy. That way you are far more likely to keep it up and enjoy its
detoxing
benefits. And make it fun: I love listening to music when I go to the gym, which can turn an exercise routine into a really fun thing. Music lifts the spirit. It also activates massive integration in the brain, raising your gift to new heights.
While you are planning the fun and exercise into your life to unblock those toxic seriousness and toxic health choices, look at your daily and weekly life schedule to see if it's normal. If you are anything like me, you will need help with this. I tend to be a workaholic and will buzz from one activity to the next pushing from work into time with my children and research and writing and teaching and forgetting to rest and take some "me time." But I know it's important because if I don't take a break my gift will stop operating. It's good to work hard and go the extra mile, but balance is necessary. I have taken my own advice!
The ever-increasing pace of life is called the "acceleration syndrome," and it is causing a global epidemic of hurry sicknesses. One of the symptoms is the dizzying speed at which we live and the amount of living we are forcing into our lives.
Every organ and muscle in our bodies have a sympathetic (stressed) state and a parasympathetic (relaxed) state. Both of these systems are part of the autonomic nervous system. Researchers at the Institute of
HeartMath
(an organization that researches the effects of positive emotions on physiology, quality of life and performance) have found that the toxic emotions experienced as a result of this "busy-rush syndrome" cause disruptions to the autonomic nervous system that lead to erratic heart rhythms (among a myriad of other health problems).
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If you take the time to do things that generate healthy thoughts and their positive emotions, such as love, respect and kindness, the result will be more coherent heart rhythms. This rhythm is a balance between the sympathetic (accelerates the heartbeat) and the parasympathetic (slows down the heartbeat) nervous systems. Therefore, relaxing is not just a luxury, it's a necessity. You need to balance the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. Toxic seeds will throw this balance off and predispose you to sickness.
Many "solutions" offered, such as time management and learning to delegate and prioritize, are having the opposite effect. They can actually increase the pace of life even more, creating a time squeeze in which we are encouraged to cram even more into an hour. Some of these solutions only aggravate the problem they are supposed to be addressing.
They make you time poor, and that poverty is extending to your thought life and your gift. Your time is precious, and it belongs only to you. Every day you make choices about how you are going to spend your time. Learning to spend it wisely is an important part of controlling your thoughts.
The next time you think you don't have time for fun or exercise or relaxation, think again. The reality is simply that you have chosen to fill your time with activities and things other than exercise and relaxation. If you constantly focus on the little things, you may ignore the big things that ultimately determine your health, success and happiness.
If you don't build relaxation into your lifestyle you will become a less effective thinker, defeating your ability to accomplish your gift. In fact, for the brain to function like it should, it needs regroup consolidation time. If it doesn't get this, it will send out signals in the form of high-level stress hormones some of which are adrenalin and
cortisol
. If these chemicals constantly flow they create a "white noise" effect that increases anxiety and blocks clear thinking and the processing of information. Your body will suffer as well.
That's why we must break the gift-blocker of toxic seriousness, health and schedules by:
- Using the discomfort zones to help identify and acknowledge if you are too serious, not resting enough and in toxic health patterns.
- Using the frontal lobe to stand outside of ourselves and evaluate how we can change this.
- Rewiring.
- Never doing this without prayer and the help of the Holy Spirit.
Use Part Three to help with these. Relaxation is never a waste of time when it comes to unblocking your gift.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE:
{TOXIC UNFORGIVENESS AS A GIFT-BLOCKER}
After learning about the other eleven gift-blockers, it may seem a little overwhelming that there is such opportunity for toxic seeds to be planted in our lives. That's why this last gift-blocker is so important - uprooting toxic unforgiveness and transplanting forgiveness in its place.
When I become angry or frustrated or irritated or upset or worked up over anyone or anything, who is the one really affected? Me, I am the one most affected.
Toxic thoughts, with their attached toxic emotions, are toxic seeds of unforgiveness that have been planted in the soil of fear and are being constantly watered by the almost addictive attention we give them. God says "cast all your anxiety on Him" (1 Peter 5:7 NIV); ruminating continuously will not make them better but worse. God knew this, which is why He gave us that Scripture.
Remember what I said in earlier chapters: each time something is brought into consciousness it will change in some way by getting worse or better.
In addition, there is all the neurochemistry attached to the thought cluster, which throws our bodies into a chemical frenzy when we plant toxic seeds and grow them. When we don't forgive and when we hang onto pain and events, we are growing those toxic seeds.
So if someone told you that you were no good or you were misrepresented or someone said something about you that wasn't true or you were accused of something you did not do or something bad happened to you - all these will harm you mentally and physically if you hang onto them. They become toxic unforgiveness.
Sometimes it is so difficult to let go of those unbelievable and unjust things that happened to you. We feel that if we don't nurse them they won't get better. But that in itself is a lie from the enemy because they do get worse the more attention we pay to them!
The
neuroplasticity
of the brain will grow the toxic unforgiveness an even deeper root and the branches will get ever more pervasive - much the way a briar will choke out the plants in a garden if not controlled.
The worldly approach is to indulge, speak about, tear apart and wallow. But this does not bring healing; it brings destruction because of all the neurological and
neurochemical
reactions taking place in your body. We need to acknowledge and repent for hanging on, and then we need to forgive. Forgiveness is not excusing the behavior, but it is placing the situation into God's hands.
The more attention you pay to a thought cluster, the more it will expand because attention creates the environment and conditions in your brain, necessary for change. This is good if the focus is on a healthy thought, but not good if it is an unhealthy thought of toxic unforgiveness. The attention can be likened to the watering of a plant - attention causes the
neurochemical
"water" to create proteins that build the thought into a stronger and bigger branch, increasing the levels of your stress.
Forgiveness is imperative to walking fully in your gift. God provided a way for us through forgiveness and has offered us an easy way out by casting all our cares on Him.