The Gift (26 page)

“You know, I’m going to miss you so much when we go back
to Louisiana. I hope you’ll come down to visit. Maybe we can work on some new
songs together.”

“I’ll give you some time to recover Maggie, but then
I’ll definitely come down for a visit. Maybe we could start working on a
follow-up album.”

As Spencer was leaving, he pulled Zak aside for a moment
to give him Maggie’s mandolin.

“You probably shouldn’t let Maggie see this for a while.
Her mandolin was damaged when she dropped it on stage. The back has separated
from the sides a little and there is a gouge in the headstock. I think a couple
of tuners might have to be replaced too.”

“Thanks Spencer. I’ll give it to my friend Peter Larson
who is a luthier. He can probably fix anything that’s wrong with it, and if he
can’t then I’ll buy a new mandolin for Maggie.”

Zak gave Spencer a brief hug and told him that he looked
forward to seeing him soon.

Then it was time to say goodbye to Justin. He was going
to drive back to Louisiana with the U-Haul van filled with their equipment and
instruments. Maggie suddenly thought of the last scene in the Wizard of Oz when
Dorothy is going home and says goodbye to all her friends. She remembered
Dorothy saying to the Scarecrow, “I think I’m going to miss you most of all.”
She felt like saying that to Justin but instead she walked to the front door
with him and thanked him for taking care of her in the hospital. Then she
kissed him on the cheek and whispered in his ear “I love you” in a voice so low
that no one but Justin could hear her. He kissed her back and told her he would
see her at home in a couple of days.

Maggie and Zak got an early flight to New Orleans the
next morning. She was relieved to be going home. She felt like she wanted to
sleep for weeks, maybe months. She couldn’t wait to see her children and Chère.
She felt like she had been gone from home for years.

They picked up their car at the airport and drove to
Zak’s mother’s house to get Gabriel and Isabel and bring them home. Maggie
hadn’t seen her children in weeks and was overjoyed to see them again. But
after being home for a couple hours, she began to realize how challenging it
was going to be to take care of two young children when she couldn’t see well.
Zak ended up taking over most of the child care duties, leaving Maggie sitting
on the couch feeling depressed.

After he fed the children and put them to bed, Maggie
thanked him and said “I don’t know how I’m going to live my life anymore. I
can’t see well enough to do anything. I might be able to change diapers, but
that’s about it. I can’t see if their clothes are clean, I can barely see their
faces.”

Zak put his arm around her and kissed her.

“Maggie, I’m sure you’ll get used to it over time.
You’re not alone, you have me to help you. Hopefully your vision will get
better after a while.”

Zak made a quick dinner of eggs and beans and after they
finished eating, he suggested that they go to bed early so that they could have
some time together before Gabriel and Isabel needed attention. He kissed her
tenderly and told her how much he wanted to make love to her. They hadn’t been
together for over a month and he had missed her.

The next morning, Gabriel and Isabel woke up crying. Zak
told Maggie to go back to sleep and he got up with the children and gave them
their breakfast. Maggie couldn’t get back to sleep however, she heard them
rustling around the kitchen and Zak talking to  the children as they ate. She
knew she should get up and help, but she couldn’t bear to get out of bed. She
finally got up, and put on her robe and then went out to sit with them at the
kitchen table.

“Can I get you some breakfast, Maggie,” Zak asked.

“Maybe just some toast and juice.”

Zak got it for her and placed it on the table in front
of her. He leaned over and kissed her for a moment.

Gabriel ran over to her and handed her his favorite
book, “Goodnight Moon”. She picked him up and held him in her lap and recited
it to him from memory as she was having trouble making out the letters. Gabriel
turned the pages as she read, enjoying the illustrations as she told him the
story. Maggie was upset though that she couldn’t really read to him.

Zak took Isabel into her bedroom to change her diapers,
so Maggie decided to try to wash the breakfast dishes. She loaded the dirty
dishes into the dishwasher but knocked a glass off of the counter onto the
floor. She hadn’t seen it because it was in the lower left area of her vision
where she couldn’t see well. The glass broke into a million shards on the white
ceramic tile floor. Maggie went to get the vacuum cleaner but couldn’t see if
she was getting up all the broken pieces. As Zak came back into the kitchen
with Isabel, he noticed Maggie’s tear-streaked face.

“Darlin’, it’s o.k. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get
it.”

“I’m sorry Zak, I was just trying to help. I guess I
just ended up making more work.”

“Why don’t you sit in the living room and play with Gabe
and Belle. They’ve missed you while you were on tour.”

Maggie sat on the floor and Gabe brought some toys over
for her. She helped him build a little corral out of his Tinkertoy blocks and
then they put some of his plastic farm animals in it. Isabel sat in her playpen
and sucked on her teddy bear.

Zak came in and put his hand on Maggie’s shoulder.

“How about if we take the kids for a walk in the
stroller?  They could probably use some fresh air.”

“O.k., I could stand to get out of the house for a
little bit.”

Zak got the stroller out of the back hall and took it
outside. He loaded Isabel into it, and then Maggie and Gabriel came out to join
him. Zak lifted Gabriel into the stroller and strapped him in too. They set off
down their road, Zak pushed the stroller while keeping one arm around Maggie’s
shoulders. Maggie was having trouble recognizing where they were, she realized
that if Zak wasn’t with them then she would never be able to find her way home
again. Cars would occasionally pass by, startling Maggie who couldn’t see them
because her peripheral vision had been damaged. Maggie started feeling
overwhelmed and finally had to ask Zak if they could go back to the house.

When they got back home, Maggie told Zak that she needed
to rest for a while. She lay down on their bed and slept for the rest of the
day. When she woke up, she could smell that Zak was making dinner in the
kitchen. She wanted to get up and help him, but was afraid that she would just
get in the way. After a few minutes he came in the bedroom and told her dinner
was ready, so she got up and joined Zak and the children in the kitchen. He had
made her the shrimp creole that he knew was her favorite.  Zak gave Isabel her
bottle and Gabriel sat in his high chair and ate his baby food and some
cheerios.

“Thanks Zak for making dinner. It’s so nice to have
something spicy to eat after that bland hospital food.”

Zak reached over and took Maggie’s hand.

“Any time, my love. Maybe you can help me give the kids
their baths after dinner.”

“I’ll try,” Maggie said but she looked a little dubious.

After they finished eating, Zak cleared the dishes and
put them in the dishwasher and cleaned out the sink so they could give Isabel
her bath.

“I’ll hold Belle, Maggie, while you wash her with the
washcloth. It’s a good idea to have two people, because she wriggles a lot.”

Maggie smiled at that, remembering previous baths. He
handed her a soapy washcloth and Maggie washed Isabel’s face and then the rest
of her body. They finished by shampooing the baby’s hair. Maggie held her while
Zak tilted the baby’s head back and poured clean warm water over it. He took
the baby from Maggie and wrapped her in a towel, tousling her hair dry. Then he
told Maggie to sit down on the couch and he handed her the baby still wrapped
in the towel.  Maggie enjoyed holding her baby, she smelled good after her bath
and her skin was incredibly soft. Zak brought in some clean pajamas and helped
Maggie dress the baby. Then he took Isabel from her and put her down in her
crib, hoping that she would sleep through the night.

Next, Zak filled the tub with some warm water so that
they could give Gabriel his bath. Gabriel was a little more rambunctious in the
tub, but they distracted him with a small toy boat and a plastic frog. Maggie
pretended to make the frog jump on Gabriel while Zak washed his body and hair.
When they were done, Zak pulled Gabriel out of the tub and Maggie dried him off
with a towel. Then they took him into the bedroom where Isabel was sleeping and
dressed him in his pajamas and put him down for the night in the larger crib
that was in the room. Maggie gave Gabriel the teddy bear that Spencer had given
him and then she and Zak said good night and went back into the living room.

Zak put on the television, but Maggie couldn’t really
see the picture. She lay down on the couch next to him and put her head in his
lap. She was happy to be home, but was totally exhausted. Next thing Zak knew,
Maggie was sound asleep.

Maggie woke up the next morning in the bedroom and
couldn’t remember how she got there. Zak was up already, feeding the children
in the kitchen. They were screaming and crying for some reason, and Maggie
asked Zak if he could keep them quiet.

“Maggie, maybe you should get up and help me out here. 
I’m trying to feed the kids and Chère needs to go for her walk.”

Maggie got up and went into the kitchen.

“I can’t see where their food is,” she said.

Zak got out the oatmeal and some bowls and asked Maggie
to try to handle things while he went out with Chère. Maggie tried to do the
best she could, but she heated the oatmeal until it was too hot. She went to
get some cold milk to add to it to cool it down, but added too much. She was
feeling frustrated by the time that Zak got back with the dog.

“I kind of screwed it up,” she said.

“That’s o.k. Maggie, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Maybe you could feed Chère while I give the kids their breakfast.”

“Where are the kibbles?”

“Over here in the cabinet. And here’s her bowl.”

Maggie poured the kibbles in the bowl, and added some
warm water. She put the dish down on the floor for the dog who started wolfing
it down.

“What do you want Maggie? I’d be happy to make you
something.”

 “I don’t think I want anything Zak. I just want to go
back to sleep for a while.”

Maggie went into the bedroom and shut the door. She was
feeling discouraged that she was finding the simplest tasks difficult. She felt
bad that Zak ended up having to do almost everything. She lay down on the bed
for a while, staring at the ceiling. She didn’t know how she was going to live
her life like this. After crying quietly for a while, she closed her eyes and
fell asleep.

After several days at home, Maggie started getting
bored.  She missed the excitement of being on the road, waking up every day
anticipating traveling to a new place to give another concert. She missed the
members of her band. She especially missed Justin. So she was happy to see him
pull up one afternoon in the U-Haul van with the band’s equipment. Zak helped
him unload the equipment into the studio and then invited him into the house
for some coffee.

Maggie was sitting in the living room, so Justin went in
to join her. He sat down next to her and gave her a hug. Zak went into the
kitchen to start the coffee, and while he was gone Justin asked Maggie how she
was doing.

“O.k., I guess. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m
starting to miss touring. I always looked forward to playing for people, and
now I don’t have anything to look forward to anymore.”

“Have you tried playing since you’ve been home?” Justin
asked.

“Not yet, I don’t even know where my mandolin is.”

“I have it, Maggie,” Zak said as he came into the room
with their coffee.  “Spencer gave it to me. There was a little damage to it
when you dropped it at the festival. I gave it to Peter Larson, and he’s fixing
it for you.”

“Well, it would be nice to have it back. I’m getting
bored and there isn’t a lot that I can do. I can’t really watch tv, and I can’t
read because I’m having trouble seeing the letters.”

“Do you think you could read large print books, Maggie?”
suggested Justin. “I could take you to the book store in town if you would like
to find something to read.”

“I might be able to do that. I would really appreciate
it if you could take me. It’s hard to go to the store with the two kids.”

“O.k., how about if I come back tomorrow afternoon and
we’ll go to the book store. It would probably do you good to get out of the
house for a while.”

Maggie thanked Justin and immediately started to feel
better. She had been feeling claustrophobic being stuck in the house with the
two kids all the time. Even though she loved her children and husband, she
looked forward to getting out with another adult.

The next afternoon, Justin picked up Maggie and took her
into town. He held her arm and escorted her through the store, helping her to
find a couple large print mysteries that looked interesting. They went back to
the car and then Maggie said she wasn’t quite ready to go home yet.

“We could go and get coffee or something,” Justin
suggested.

“How about if we go back to your apartment?  I haven’t
seen it yet. We could have some coffee there. I kind of need to get away from
the kids for a while and go to a place that’s quiet.”

“O.k., Maggie. Please don’t mind, it’s kind of a mess.”

Maggie laughed for a second.

“Don’t worry about me, I won’t be able to see it.”

Justin squeezed her hand and then started to drive to
his apartment. When they got there, Justin took Maggie’s hand and led her into
his place. It was a one bedroom apartment on the first floor of a small
apartment building. He took her into the living room and asked her if she
wanted something to drink. She asked him if he had any tea, so he went into the
kitchen to make some. While he was gone, Maggie walked around the room a little
trying to see what was there. She could see the case for Justin’s bass guitar
and a small bass amp. There was also a case for what looked like an acoustic
guitar and a mic stand. She looked in the bookcase and could see a stereo and
many record albums. She had pulled out a couple albums trying to see what they
were, when she noticed a copy of the
Rolling Stone
with her photo on the
cover on top of the records.