The Fractured Earth (13 page)

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Interlude—Boreling Empire—Entertainment Hourly News

By Jezeen the Irresistible

The first hour kickoff to our twenty-second show was a resounding success! The Fractured Earth, a name that evokes both the nature of this season's program and the strangely broken continents due to the larger satellite, called "the Satellite" by the unimaginative natives, has netted the largest viewership in more than eighty-five cycles! The two-pronged approach of both the electronics disruption and the bio-creatures, engineered by our very own Biomagination Nation, Plannel 3, has proven to be a hit with you, our audience.

I want to especially thank Dr. Grorbath the Wise and Dr. Playthl the Devious with creating a bio-infester that would transform some of the native population into a creature out of their darkest, most fearful myth, the "Zombie!”

And that's not all! We have more surprises for this planet, as they have the largest fear-potential of any we've seen since the famous Darktime Sector show.

In gambling news, the biggest winner thus far is Qrarety Frenshaw, hailing from the Sawporst Sector. Qrarety bet his entire life savings on the Protection Racket, which has never placed first until now. But with the hour's results in, we've seen evil with fewer kills than good, and for the first time ever! Qrarety Frenshaw has earned the title of Qrarety the Seer and more than eighteen million credits. Congratulations Qrarety the Seer!

The next biggest winners were in the usual category for technical planets of Death by Transportation. Six hundred Borelings guessed the right number at seven million six hundred seventeen and split the twenty million credits between them.

In the Pay and Play category, team Zeke, as they titled themselves, won the pot in the second hour by creating just twenty-one bio-creatures, or "zombies,” out of some one hundred fifty thousand people attending a morning sports match in a nation on the western side of the largest ocean. They had a ninety-eight percent death or conversion rate, so congratulations to team Zeke!

The Baffle an Alien channel has proven to be incredibly entertaining, as clever Borelings, under the eyes of the Technical Plausibility Overwatch, have provided hilarious coverage of humans desperately trying to remove child restraints that have been fused in burning vehicles, primitive nuclear reactor technicians boiling as they attempt to cut off steam escaping, and the funniest yet—emergency firearms disabled as a tourist ground vehicle became stranded amid a pack of large carnivores. That one earned Ashget Frike the special title of Ashget the Cruncher in honor of the fifty trillion hits he's received.

So stay tuned, keep watching and winning, and help us tell the story by signing on to Pay and Play!

The End

Continued in Apocalypse Makers Book 2, Surviving the Day

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About the Author

Matt Hart knows a little about survival—especially what not to do.

Don't try to hike out of a Nevada desert after your motorcycle gets stuck in the mud—better to head to the lake proper and find help. #heatstroke

Don't try to jump over the icy river in your snowmobile—you'll end up standing chest deep in it, holding the machine against the far bank while your cousin rushes back to help you. #hypothermia

Don't turn right when driving up Squaw Mountain—that first switchback is icy, deserted, and unplowed. #stuckatmidnight

In addition to the above near-death experiences, Matt has survived a fourteen foot motorcycle jump (alone, no helmet), being shot at (as a teenager, up a thirty foot tree), and having a three wheeler land atop him as he crashed onto a concrete sidewalk after a badly-thought-out jump.

And there's the snakes, the black widow, the ninety foot drop off…