The Forever Dream (22 page)

A sudden surge of adrenaline gave her the strength to finish dressing. But once out of her room, the corridor seemed to stretch forever.

Forever. Strange, how often the word came to mind in any number of connections. Yet no one really thought about its true meaning. Well, everyone would have to start thinking about it very soon, she realized. But she couldn't do so at the moment. She had to concentrate on getting to Jared. One step at a time.

Great journeys were accomplished one step at a time, Jared had told her, and she'd found it true herself. So all she had to do was to think about that next step and she'd make it through the blasted corridors and down the horror of a staircase. Yet the last step proved almost too much, and when she reached the end of staircase, she sank down on the bottom stair and close her eyes. She leaned her head against the curved bannister post and drew several deep breaths. In just a minute she'd get up and go on, but right now she'd give in to weakness. It would do no good to try to renew h strength, she thought wryly. She had absolutely no left.

"What in God's name are you doing here?"

The words were more of a shocked imprecation than a question. Tania opened her eyes to see Kevin kneeling in front of her, a worried frown on his face. He was dressed in jeans and a blue plaid flannel shirt, and red hair was a little damp, as if from the shower.

"Hello, Kevin." Her voice was as weak as her knees she noticed with annoyance. "I wanted to see Jared you know where he is?"

"In the shower at the gym. He came in just as I was leaving." Then, as she started to get to her feet, he pushed her firmly back down. "Stay where you are.There's no way you could make it another step. You're white as a sheet."

Her chin lifted defiantly. "I can make it," she said indignantly. "I'm just resting at the moment."

There was a fugitive twinkle in Kevin's blue eyes. "Right. Well, suppose you come along with me to the library and rest there. Unless you'd prefer to scrub Jared's back and help him dress, you're not going to get much accomplished until he gets out of the shower."

He was probably right. She wouldn't be able to talk to Jared under those circumstances, and the gym seemed a thousand miles away at the moment. "All right," she said resignedly. "I'll wait for him in the library."

"That's very good of you, princess," Kevin said, his lips twitching. "Now, if you'll allow me to help you into said library, we'll have it made." Without waiting for her to reply, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her across the foyer to the library.

Tania clutched his massive shoulders. "This isn't at all necessary, you know," she said haughtily. "I'm perfectly able to walk."

"I'm beginning to believe that you're perfectly able to do anything you set your mind to. But give me a break. I'm a man who likes to feel needed." He gently deposited her in the easy chair by the fire. He scooted the ottoman closer and arranged her legs carefully on its cushion before dropping down on it to face her. "There. Indulging me wasn't all that difficult, was it?"

"I suppose not." The cushioned chair certainly was more comfortable than the step, she had to admit, and it was impossible to resent Kevin's action, when it was accompanied by that beguiling grin. "Though I did feel a little like a piece of pirate booty," she said tartly. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that women don't like to be treated that way in this day and age?"

"Many times," he said lightly. "But I've found that I just have to ignore them if I'm to fulfill my prime directive."

"Prime directive? That sounds like something out of a science fiction novel."

"Which should put me right at home with the company I'm keeping. It's not as farfetched a concept as it sounds, you know. We all have a prime motivation that guides all our actions in one way or another. Sometimes we don't recognize it, but it's there nevertheless."

"And what is your prime directive, Kevin?" she asked, her gaze on his blunt, craggy face, which was surprisingly serious.

He shrugged. "I'm a throwback to another century, I guess. I can't identify with the modern philosophy of living only for one's self. I want to help people." He paused before ending simply, "I like the human race, Tania. I think we're all worth giving a helping hand."

She felt a warm surge of affection for the big man. "Is that why you went into government work?"

He nodded. "It doesn't give me the personal contact I prefer, but you can accomplish considerably more on the federal level." The seriousness vanished from his demeanor as he rose to his feet. "Now, why don't you let me exercise my directive even more fully and order you some breakfast?"

"No, thank you." She leaned her head weakly against the high-cushioned back of the chair. "I'm not hungry. I'll just rest here until I can see Jared."

"I should really bundle you back upstairs to bed. Jared is going to climb the walls when he finds you're out of bed and wandering around the chateau."

She was no longer listening, her gaze wandering to the Adam mantle, where the openwork clock was once more ticking with abrasive loudness. "Someone must have started it again," she said absently.

"What?" Kevin asked. Then, as his gaze followed hers to the clock, he said, "Oh, I did. Someone must have turned off the mechanism."

"I stopped it." A tiny smile tugged at her lips as she remembered something else. "Jared said he'd stopped a clock once too. I didn't understand then what he meant."

Kevin went still, his eyes narrowed intently on her face. "But you do now? Someone told you about his work, didn't he? Was it Jared?"

"Senator Corbett." A cynical smile touched her lips. "He said he thought I deserved to know."

Kevin's lips pursed in a soundless whistle. "That's [ not going to please our resident genius even a little bit. I wonder why the senator did it. He must have known it

I would upset Jared." She didn't want to think about that at the moment. In fact, she didn't want to think about anything. She'd thought a brief rest would rid her of the weakness that touched every part of her body, but instead the exhaustion seemed to be growing. "Perhaps he was sincere about what he said." She wished Jared would hurry. It was becoming difficult to concentrate, and even more difficult to speak. "He appeared genuinely concerned about Jared's safety."

"He should be," Kevin said grimly. "Jared's life is on the line. There aren't many men who believe in something so much they're willing to risk what Jared has. You have to admire his courage." His expression became thoughtful. "I've often wondered if doing his research has been Jared's prime directive all these years since his sister, Lita, died. If so, then where does he go from here? He'll be damned lost until he finds something to replace it."

She'd been letting his words flow over her, but something had caught her attention. A spark of interest lit her eyes. "His sister, Lita?"

"The senator didn't tell you about her?" When she shook her head, he said quietly, "She died when she was twelve of a very rare disease, an extreme form of hypercholesteremia that causes an accelerated aging process. It's an inborn error in metabolism and biochemistry in which the body produces incredible amounts of cholesterol that are deposited in tissues throughout the system. Arteriosclerosis and other symptoms begin in early infancy, and by the time adolescence occurs, the victim literally dies of old age."

"My God! Oh, my God!" Her eyes widened with shock. How agonizing it must have been, not only for Jared's sister, but for him, to see that rapid disintegration taking place before his eyes. "Wasn't there any cure?"

"None," Kevin said. "It was all the more tragic because Jared and his sister were so close. Evidently he had sole care of her almost from the moment she was born. His father was their only support, and spent most of his time in either the mines or the neighborhood tavern, and their mother had left them shortly after Lita was born. Jared was only about ten years old then. You can see why he felt a driving passion that channeled his work in the direction it did."

"Yes, I can see that." She could see more than that. She could see the pain and frustration of a sensitive boy unable to help a loved one and could feel once more Jared's terrible loneliness. "It must have been horrible for him."

"Probably more than we can possibly realize," Kevin said gently. "Its no wonder he's not eager to let anyone too close to him."

"What the hell are you doing down here?"

Startled, they both turned toward the doorway. Jared was dressed in worn, faded jeans and a gray sweatshirt with the sleeves pushed up to the elbow. His expression was definitely stormy.

"That's what Kevin asked when he saw me," Tania said, trying to smile. It wasn't a very successful attempt. Her initial exhaustion had been augmented enormously by the shock of what Kevin had told her, and she felt weak as a day-old kitten. "I'd think it would be obvious what the hell I'm doing here."

"She wanted to see you," Kevin put in quickly.

"Then why the devil didn't you take her back to bed and send for me?" Jared growled as he strode swiftly across the room. "Just look at her. She's going to collapse any minute. Haven't you got any sense at all, Kevin?"

Kevin's mouthed I-told-you-so from where he stood behind Jared brought a reluctant smile to Tania's face. "It wasn't Kevin's fault," she said, wishing her voice were less shaky. "I do what I wish to do."

"So do I," he said. "And what I wish to do at the moment is take you back to your room and put you to bed." He scooped her up from the chair. "Any objections?"

If she'd had, it wouldn't have done her any good, she thought crossly. This seemed to be her day to be toted about by arrogant men. She had to admit, however, that it was very pleasant to be held close to Jared's warm strength and lean her head against the soft, fleecy cotton of the sweatshirt stretched across his broad chest. "No objections," she said meekly.

There was a moment of surprised silence. "She must be worse off than I thought," Jared said dryly. Then he was moving across the study. "Order her a light breakfast, Kevin. She hasn't had anything substantial to eat for two days."

"I'm not hungry," she repeated stubbornly. Why did everyone insist that she eat, when all she wanted to do was relax here in Jared's arms and go to sleep? He

smelled deliciously of soap and something slightly musky that was very intriguing. "I won't eat."

"You'll eat," he said flatly. He was rapidly mounting the stairs. "Every single bite, and then you'll sleep all day, and we'll hope that you'll escape the results of your stupidity without a setback." He was striding down the corridor to her room. "I should have known better than to leave you alone. You think you're ten feet tall and built like Kevin, damn it!"

"I may not be ten feet tall, but that doesn't mean I'm not as tough. I have—"

"
E
à
b
." He finished it with her. "I'm beginning to wish I'd never heard that word. If you weren't so blasted determined to prove yourself a lady Atlas carrying the world on your shoulders, both our lives would be a great deal less difficult."

He negotiated the opening of the door of her room and crossed the Aubusson carpet with four long steps. "I know what Corbett told you upset you, but why couldn't you have waited, like a sensible person, until I came to you?"

Despite the exasperation in his voice, his hands were gentle as he put her down on the bed. They were also very deft as he unbuttoned the tiny pearl buttons of the bed jacket she wore. It was only when he opened the jacket to slip it off that he hesitated, his gaze on the naked swell of her small, perfect breasts.

"What's wrong?" she asked, puzzled.

He shook his head as if to clear it. "Not a damn thing," he said huskily. "I just feel as if someone had kicked me in the stomach. God, you're lovely."

She could feel a warm tingle in the pit of her stomach. "It's not as if it's something you haven't seen before," she said shakily. "I've obviously been stark naked for the last two days."

"Hell, I don't know why it came as such a shock," he

said, his gaze fastened on the dark pink of her nipples, which were suddenly flowering into hardness. "I guess there's something about taking off a woman's clothes that provokes all the sexual urges." He ran his tongue over his lips. "Before, I was thinking of you as my patient, a child clinging in the night. Suddenly it's not that way anymore."

"It's not?" She could see that it wasn't. It was evident in the pulse that was pounding in his temple and the tension that was tightening the muscles of his shoulders.

His hand went to the single side button of her wraparound skirt. "I think I'd better get you into bed and get out of here," he said grimly. "If I don't, I'm not going to care whether you're injured or not. I'm getting damn close to that point now." When he opened the skirt, she could see the pulse jump in the hollow of his throat, and he drew in a long, ragged breath. No underwear. "Well, at least I can't accuse you of wasting much energy getting dressed." He slipped the shoes from her feet and pulled the satin sheet over her with careful gentleness, despite the slight tremor of his hands. "Remind me to order you some granny nightgowns to wear during the next few days." He leaned forward to press a light kiss on her forehead. "Go to sleep. I'll wake you when your breakfast arrives."

She was already half asleep as her head touched the pillow. There was something she wanted to say to him, but she couldn't remember what it was. Then it came back to her. "I'm so sorry, Jared."

"Sorry?" Jared's face was puzzled.

Sorry for the pain he'd known, sorry for the loneliness she could sense deep inside him even now. She was much too tired to tell him all that, so she merely said, "Your sister, Lita."

His expression hardened. "Corbett really did fill you in on all the details, didn't he?"

"It was Kevin who told me about your sister," she said, trying to clear her head of the clouds of sleep that persisted in descending. "It must have hurt you very much."

He shrugged. "It was a long time ago. It's not wise to dwell on past pain." One soothing finger stroked the winged line of her brow. "I'll tell you all about it some other time. Go to sleep now, love."