Authors: Carl Weber
“So, you two are working on a bookstore proposal?” she asked, her doubt evident.
“Yeah … yeah, Sister Monique’s got some great ideas. We’re thinking about opening it up in that vacant building directly across the street from the church.” Thank God we had actually discussed some of these ideas at our first meeting, so the bishop had something to say now without having to make up lies.
“Oh, really? Well, since Trustee Forrest is on the finance committee, maybe we should sit down and discuss it with you,” Sister Evelyn said. I wondered if anyone else could hear the hidden meaning behind her suggestion, or if a woman’s hearing were like a dog’s. Maybe I was the only one in the room who detected the true tone of this jealous bitch.
“You know, we’d really love to,” the bishop said. “But as you can see, we’re finished with dinner, and I was just about to ask for the check.”
“We understand,” Trustee Forrest told us. Once again, he glanced at his wife. “You folks have a nice evening. I’ll see you at the finance meeting tomorrow night, Bishop. I’m sure we’ll have much to talk about.”
What the hell did he mean by that? For the first time, I started to think that maybe my reputation was worse than I thought. I watched them walk away, but as soon as they were far enough, Evelyn started chewing a hole in her husband’s ear. I glanced at the bishop, who had flagged down our waiter to pay the bill. I’d never seen him with so much worry on his face. It was going to be a long ride home, and from the look on his face, he was not coming in to see me model my “conservative” outfits.
I dropped Monique off, then came straight home, despite her repeated requests for me to come inside so that we could talk. We’d barely spoken during the entire ride to her place. It was not for her lack of effort, though. I just wasn’t in the mood after running into Trustee Forrest and his gossiping wife, Sister Evelyn. Now there was no telling what type of nonsense was going to be running around the church. It’s too bad, because I was just starting to feel I was making headway with Monique about her attire. I didn’t want to change who she was; I just wanted to tone down her clothes so that I could get the church to accept her for the beautiful woman she really was.
I really liked Monique, and she was a good Christian, regardless of what others might think. To be honest, she reminded me of Charlene when she was younger. I guess that’s why I liked her. My wife, God rest her soul, was a real spitfire back in her day. Most of the people in our church didn’t even know it, but before Charlene and I got married, she had quite the reputation with the fellas. She truly lived up to the term
P.K.
Some might’ve even called her a slut, but with the proper help and God’s love, she turned into the perfect first lady. I’d been thinking that Monique had the same kind of potential, but after tonight, I was worried that the wagging tongues of the church would put a stop to any relationship between us before it even had a chance to develop.
Once I got settled in the house, I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of milk. I put it in the microwave to heat it up for a few seconds, thinking it could help settle my stomach. What I really wanted to calm my nerves was a good, stiff glass of that cognac James and I had finished off last week. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t keep alcohol in the house. Besides, the Lord probably wouldn’t appreciate my drinking at a time like this anyway.
I picked up my glass of milk and headed for the living room. Sitting in the recliner, I downed half the glass, then picked up the phone and dialed James’s number. I knew he’d still be awake, because he had mentioned he had a date with one of the sisters from the church. It was Saturday night, after all, and I hadn’t known too many times that James didn’t have a date on a weekend.
“Hello?” James answered.
“James? This is T.K. We’ve got a bit of a situation.”
“Bishop, you’ve got the worst timing. Hold on a minute.” I could hear some woman in the background. Her voice was muffled, but whoever she was, she didn’t sound too happy about James answering the phone. I waited for him to calm her down; then he returned to the phone. “Okay, what happened this time, Bishop?”
“Remember that Armageddon you predicted?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, it’ll be here tomorrow. Trust me.”
“Oh, Lord. T.K., what have you done now?”
“Remember when I asked Monique out to dinner the other night?”
“Yeah …”
“Well, we were busted by some parishioners,” I admitted. I had already resigned myself to the fact that I’d have to listen to James gloat about how he had been right from the start about my asking her out. Lord, why did these people hate her so much?
“Busted by some parishioners? You promised me you weren’t gonna take her anywhere in Queens, T.K. How could you be so stupid?”
“I wasn’t, and I didn’t take her anywhere in Queens. I took her all the way to Brooklyn to Umberto’s. Who would’ve thought Trustee Forrest and Evelyn would show up at Umberto’s at ten o’clock at night?”
“Evelyn Forrest was there? Oh, Lord. That woman’s got the biggest mouth in the church.”
Now he understood the severity of the situation. He didn’t even waste his time with “I told you so.”
“T.K., you have a serious problem. That woman’s gonna tell everyone in the church that you’re sleeping with Monique.”
That’s what I was afraid of, but I had tried to convince myself that it wouldn’t be so bad. I wanted to believe that even a gossipmonger like Sister Evelyn could take her pastor’s word for it when I told her that I was just meeting with Monique to discuss the bookstore. But realistically I knew better. No one, not even the bishop, is immune from gossip. By tomorrow, the whole church would be talking about the things I was supposedly doing with Monique. If I were going to get through this, I needed atleast one person to believe that the date was innocent. I needed my friend to believe me.
“We’re not sleeping with each other, James,” I snapped more forcefully than I had intended. “It was just dinner. We’re just friends.”
“Hey, T.K., you don’t have to worry about me. I’m your friend. I believe you.”
Was that sarcasm I detected in his voice? I wasn’t sure if he did believe me, until he said, “But I’m not gonna lie. I kinda wish you
were
hitting it. At least then you’d be getting something out of it. ‘Cause I can guarantee you that with Monique’s reputation, most of the congregation is going to believe Evelyn. And a scandal like this could ruin
your
reputation. Perhaps your career.”
“Tell me about it. Tomorrow night’s the finance committee’s review of my personal budget and salary. That meeting affects my income for the entire year.” This was the issue I had worried about during most of my ride home that night. I may be the bishop of the largest church in Queens, but I still had bills, including a $250,000 refinance loan I used to pay for Dante’s law school and Donna’s college tuition. That’s why I had barely spoken a word to Monique as I worried about the possible repercussions of our innocent night out.
“Can’t you do something?” I asked James. “You’re the chairman of the board of trustees.”
“I’m sorry, buddy. I got a vote, but there’s nothing I can do to direct things your way because Trustee Forrest chairs the meeting.”
I dropped my head into my hands and rubbed my throbbing temples. “So, what are we gon’ do?”
“What are
we
gonna do?” James said. “You mean what’re
you
gonna do? I warned you about this whole thing. I told you to stay away from Monique. Look, T.K, I’m sorry, but I’m staying as far away from this as possible. I’ve got enough of my own problems with Evelyn Forrest’s mouth. I hope seeing Monique was worth it.”
I was a little taken aback by his words, having fully expected my friend to help me monitor this situation and keep things under control among the church members. It was then that I realized no one had ever had my back the way my wife had. I missed her so much. But since she wasn’t here, I needed James, so I would have to ask him again.
“Don’t do this, James. You’re my best friend, and I need your help. I know I should’ve listened to you when you warned me about Monique, but you know I can be stubborn sometimes. C’mon, man, I need you to cover my rear. How many times have I covered yours?”
He hesitated momentarily, then said, “Okay, man. I’ll help you, but if you’re gonna get through this, you’re gonna have to do everything I say.”
I didn’t necessarily like feeling I wasn’t the one in control, but now was not the time to argue that point. “Just tell me what you want me to do.”
He came up with his first plan of action remarkably quick. “Okay, first off, I want you to call up Lisa Mae Johnson and ask her out to lunch tomorrow.”
“Are you kidding? This is how I’m gonna solve my problem—by asking another woman out?”
“Hey, look, you don’t have to take my advice,” he said with a touch of arrogance. “But you did ask for it. I was in the middle of something that I would like to get back to.”
“Okay, James,” I said resignedly.
“Now, if you wanna get out of this, you’re gonna do exactly as I say. Understand?”
“Yeah, I understand.”
“All right, then. Now, you’re gonna pick up the phone, call Lisa Mae, apologize for how late it is, and then ask her to lunch tomorrow.”
“Call Lisa Mae? That’s the extent of your plan?”
“No.” He sounded irritated. “That’s the first part of my plan. The second part of my plan is …” I could almost hear him thinking, which scared me. It was clear that he was making up this entire thing as he went along. “I want you to take her to the Olive Garden over by Starrett City. Do you know where that is?”
“Of course I know where it is. It’s right next to Red Lobster, your favorite restaurant.”
“Okay, good. Now, this is important, T.K. I want you to arrive at exactly 12:05, and when you walk into the place, I want you to take Lisa Mae’s hand.”
“Huh? Take her hand? James, this doesn’t make any sense.”
“It will when you get there. Now, call that woman, Bishop, and get her some flowers too. Your ol’ buddy James has got everything else under control.”
“I sure hope so.”
I hung up, not really feeling any better than I had before I made the call. I still had no idea what James was up to. But he seemed awfully confident in whatever he had planned, so I guess I had to have some faith. One thing I had to admit about James was, despite his shortcoming with the ladies, he’d never let me down. Actually, it was his active dating life that had made him a master of rescue plans such as this one. Maybe he was making it up off the top of his head, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have a good plan. I quickly dialed Lisa Mae’s number.
My girl Loretta was helping me get ready for my lunch date with the bishop. I’d already been to the hairdresser and the nail salon first thing that morning. I looked and felt gorgeous. I was still a little surprised that he had invited me out so soon after our conversation, when he told me that he needed more time before he was ready to start dating. But the fact that it happened sooner than I expected didn’t make me any less eager to go out with him. That’s why I spent so much time getting ready for lunch.
Even the rumor I’d heard that morning from Evelyn Forrest couldn’t ruin my good mood. She had called me up, yapping about how the bishop had slept with that church floozy, Monique Johnson, the night before. Evelyn’s gossip usually had some truth to it, but I knew this rumor wasn’t true because I’d spoken to the bishop last night when he asked me out, so he couldn’t have been with Monique Johnson. I would have to send Loretta and some of the women of the church to put a stop to that rumor.
When the doorbell rang, Loretta jumped straight up in the air, excited for me. I, on the other hand, tried my best to keep my composure, though I felt like I had an entire butterfly farm in my stomach. Loretta gave me a hug, then kissed me for good luck before she left to answer the front door. I waited in the bedroom, not wanting to appear overzealous. A few minutes later, I heard her call my name. I checked myself out in the mirror one last time, then made a very poised entrance into the living room.
When I entered, the bishop stood up. He was carrying a dozen roses.
“Are those for me?” I asked.
The bishop handed me the flowers. I in turn handed them to Loretta, grinning from ear to ear. “Could you put these in some water for me, please?”
“I sure will,” Loretta said as she disappeared into the kitchen.
“You look really nice, Sister Lisa. I love that dress,” he complimented.
“Why, thank you, Bishop. This little ol’ thing? I’ve had this for years,” I lied. I’d bought the dress last week, and it had cost me a pretty penny. Even so, I’m sure the price tag couldn’t compare to the Italian suit he wore. It had to have cost him at least a thousand dollars, and he was wearing the heck out of it. “You look rather handsome yourself.”
“Now I have to thank you. Are you ready to go?”
“I sure am. Just let me tell Loretta that we’re leaving.” I walked back to my kitchen and said good-bye to my friend.
“You look happy, First Lady,” Loretta said.
“I am happy, Loretta. For the first time since Lee died, I’m with a man I could spend the rest of my life with.” She kissed me for luck one more time, and the bishop and I were off to the Olive Garden for lunch.
The ride from my home in Rosedale to the Olive Garden at Starrett City took about fifteen minutes, and the bishop and I chatted the entire way.
“So, I see you and Loretta spend a lot of time together, huh?” he asked.
“Yes, we’ve been friends for over twenty years. She moved in with me when I left First Hempstead Ministries, after Pastor Whitehead finally filled Lee’s position. I guess you can kind of call us the female versions of Batman and Robin. She’s like the sister I never had.”
“Well, it’s definitely good to have somebody you can trust. I feel the same way about Trustee Black.”
“No, I doubt if our relationship is anything like yours and Trustee Black’s.”