Read The Fat Man in History and Other Stories Online
Authors: Peter Carey
Tags: #Australia & New Zealand, #Short Stories (Single Author), #General, #Literary, #Fantasy, #Fiction, #Short Stories, #History
He says, you make me feel like the old days, good fat, not bad fat.
She says, I’ve got to go. I was late tonight. I brought you some cigars, some extra ones for you.
She has jumped up, kissed him, and departed before he has time to thank her. He remains on the bed, nursing some vague disappointment, staring at the goatskin rug.
Slowly he smiles to himself, thinking about eating the October 16 Statue.
Florence Nightingale will soon be here to collect the rents. With the exception of Fantoni, who is in the shower, and Glino, who is cooking his vegetarian meal in his little cupboard, everyone is in the kitchen.
Finch sits on a kerosene drum by the back annexe, hoping to catch whatever breeze may come through.
Milligan, in very tight blue shorts, yellow T-shirt, and blue-tinted glasses, squats beside him smiling to himself and rubbing his hands together. He has just finished telling a very long and involved story about a prostitute he picked up in his cab and who paid him double to let her conduct her business in the back seat. She made him turn his mirror back to front. No one cares if the story is true or not.
Milligan says, yep.
Milligan wears his clothes like corsets, always too tight. He says it is good for his blood, the tightness. But his flesh erupts in strange bulges from his thighs and stomach and arms. He looks trussed up, a grinning turkey ready for the oven.
Milligan always has a story. His life is a continual charade, a collection of prostitutes and criminals, “characters,” beautiful women, eccentric old ladies, homosexuals, and two-headed freaks. Also he knows many jokes. Finch and May sit on the velvet cushions in Milligan’s room and listen to the stories, but it is bad for May who becomes depressed. The evenings invariably end with May in a fury saying, Jesus, I want a fuck, I want a fuck so badly it hurts. But Milligan just keeps laughing, somehow never realizing how badly it affects May.
May, Finch, Milligan, and the-man-who-won’t-give-his-name lounge around the kitchen drinking Glino’s homemade beer. Finch has suggested that they wash the dirty milk bottles before Florence Nightingale arrives and everyone has agreed that it is a good idea. However they have all remained seated, drinking Glino’s homemade beer. No one likes the beer, but of all the things that are hard to steal alcohol is the hardest. Even Fantoni cannot arrange it. Once he managed to get hold of a nine-gallon keg of beer but it sat in the back yard for a year before Glino got hold of a gas cylinder and the gear for pumping it out. They were drunk for one and a half days on that lot, and were nearly arrested en masse when they went out to piss on the commemorative plaque outside the offices of the Fifty-fourth District.
No one says much. They sip Glino’s beer from jam jars and look around the room as if considering ways to tidy it, removing the milk bottles, doing something about the rubbish bin—a cardboard box which was full a week ago and from which eggshells, tins, and bread-crusts cascade on to the floor. Every now and then May reads something from an old newspaper, laughing very loudly. When May laughs, Finch smiles. He is happy to see May laughing because when he is not laughing he is very sad and liable to break things and do himself an injury. May’s forehead is still scarred from the occasion when he battered it against the front door for three hours. There is still blood on the paintwork.
May wears an overcoat all the time, even tonight in this heat. His form is amorphous. He has a double chin and a drooping face that hangs downwards from his nose. He is balding and worries about losing hair. He sleeps for most of the day to escape his depressions and spends the nights walking around the house, drinking endless glasses of water, playing his record, and groaning to himself as he tries to sleep.
May is the only one who was married before the revolution. He came to this town when he was fired from his job as a refrigerator salesman, and his wife was to join him later. Now he can’t find her. She has sold their house and he is continually writing letters to her, care of anyone he can think of who might know her whereabouts.
May is also in love with Florence Nightingale, and in this respect he is no different from the other five, even Fantoni who claims to find her skinny and undernourished.
Florence Nightingale is their friend, their confidante, their rent
collector, their mascot. She works for the revolution but is against it. She will be here soon. Everybody is waiting for her. They talk about what she will wear.
Milligan, staring intently at his large Omega watch, says, peep, peep, peep, on the third stroke …
The front door bell rings. It is Florence Nightingale.
The-man-who-won’t-give-his-name springs up. He says, I’ll get it, I’ll get it. He looks very serious but his broken, battered face appears to be very gentle. He says, I’ll get it. And sounds out of breath. He moves with fast heavy strides along the passage, his back hunched urgently like a jungle animal, a rhino, ploughing through undergrowth. It is rumoured that he is having an affair with Florence Nightingale but it doesn’t seem possible.
They crowd together in the small kitchen, their large soft bodies crammed together around the door. When Florence Nightingale nears the door there is much pushing and shoving and Milligan dances around the outside of the crowd, unable to get through, crying “make way there, make way for the lady with the big blue eyes” in his high nasal voice, and everyone pushes every way at once. Finally it is Fantoni who arrives from his shower and says, “For Christ’s sake, give a man some
room
.”
Everybody is very silent. They don’t like to hear him swear in front of Florence Nightingale. Only Fantoni would do it, no one else. Now he nods to her and indicates that she should sit down on one of the two chairs. Fantoni takes the other. For the rest there are packing cases, kerosene tins, and an empty beer keg which is said to cause piles.
Fantoni is wearing a new safari suit, but no one mentions it. He has sewn insignia on the sleeves and the epaulettes. No one has ever seen this insignia before. No one mentions it. They pretend Fantoni is wearing his white wool suit as usual.
Florence Nightingale sits simply with her hands folded in her lap. She greets them all by name and in turn; to the-man-who-won’t-give-his-name she merely says “Hello”. But it is not difficult to see that there is something between them. The-man-who-won’t-give-his-name shuffles his large feet and suddenly smiles very broadly. He says, “Hello”.
Fantoni then collects the rent which they pay from their pensions. The rent is not large, but the pensions are not large either. Only Milligan has an income, which gives him a certain independence.
Finch doesn’t have enough for the rent. He had meant to borrow
the difference from Milligan but forgot. Now he is too embarrassed to ask in front of Fantoni.
He says, I’m a bit short.
Florence Nightingale says, forget it, try and get it for next week. She counts the money and gives everyone a receipt. Finch tries to catch Milligan’s eye.
Later, when everyone is smoking the cigars she has brought and drinking Glino’s home brew, she says, I hate this job, it’s horrible to take this money from you.
Glino is sitting on the beer keg. He says, what job would you like? But he doesn’t look at Florence Nightingale. Glino never looks at anyone.
Florence Nightingale says, I would come and look after you. We could all live together and I’d cook you crêpes suzettes.
And Fantoni says, but who would bring us cigars then? And everybody laughs.
Everyone is a little bit drunk.
Florence Nightingale says, Glino play us a tune.
Glino says nothing, but seems to double up even more so that his broad shoulders become one with his large bay window. His fine white hair falls over his face.
Everybody says, come on Glino, give us a tune. Until, finally, Glino takes his mouth organ from his back pocket and, without once looking up, begins to play. He plays something very slow. It reminds Finch of an albatross, an albatross flying over a vast, empty ocean. The albatross is going nowhere. Glino’s head is so bowed that no one can see the mouth organ, it is sandwiched between his nose and his chest. Only his pink, translucent hands move slowly from side to side.
Then, as if changing its mind, the albatross becomes a gipsy, a pedlar, or a drunken troubador. Glino’s head shakes, his foot taps, his hands dance.
Milligan jumps to his feet. He dances a sailor’s dance, Finch thinks it might be the hornpipe, or perhaps it is his own invention, like the pink stars stencilled on his taxi door. Milligan has a happy, impish face with eyebrows that rise and fall from behind his blue-tinted
glasses. If he weighed less his face might even be pretty. Milligan’s face is half-serious, half-mocking, intent on the dance, and Florence Nightingale stands slowly. They both dance, Florence Nightingale whirling and turning, her hair flying, her eyes nearly closed. The music becomes faster and faster and the five fat men move back to stand against the wall, as if flung there by centrifugal force. Finch, pulling the table out of the way, feels he will lose his balance. Milligan’s face is bright red and streaming with sweat. The flesh on his bare white thighs shifts and shakes and beneath his T-shirt his breasts move up and down. Suddenly he spins to one side, drawn to the edge of the room, and collapses in a heap on the floor.
Everyone claps. Florence Nightingale keeps dancing. The clapping is forced into the rhythm of the music and everyone claps in time. May is dancing with Florence Nightingale. His movements are staccato, he stands with his feet apart, his huge overcoat flapping, slaps his thighs, claps his hands together above his head, stamps his feet, spins, jumps, shouts, nearly falls, takes Florence Nightingale around the waist and spins her around and around, they both stumble, but neither stops. May’s face is transformed, it is living. The teeth in his partly open mouth shine white. His overcoat is like some magical cloak, a swirling beautiful thing.
Florence Nightingale constantly sweeps long hair out of her eyes.
May falls. Finch takes his place but becomes puffed very quickly and gives over to the-man-who-won’t-give-his-name.
The-man-who-won’t-give-his-name takes Florence Nightingale in his arms and disregards the music. He begins a very slow, gliding waltz. Milligan whispers in Glino’s ear. Glino looks up shyly for a moment, pauses, then begins to play a Strauss waltz.
Finch says, the “Blue Danube”. To no one in particular.
The-man-who-won’t-give-his-name dances beautifully and very proudly. He holds Florence Nightingale slightly away from him, his head is high and cocked to one side. Florence Nightingale whispers something in his ear. He looks down at her and raises his eyebrows. They waltz around and around the kitchen until Finch becomes almost giddy with embarrassment. He thinks, it is like a wedding.
Glino once said (of prisons), “If you’ve ever been inside one of those places you wouldn’t ever want to be inside one again.”
Tonight Finch can see him lying on his bunk in a cell, playing the “Blue Danube” and the albatross and staring at the ceiling. He wonders if it is so very different from that now: they spend their days
lying on their beds, afraid to go out because they don’t like the way people look at them.
The dancing finishes and the-man-who-won’t-give-his-name escorts Florence Nightingale to her chair. He is so large, he treats her as if she were wrapped in crinkly cellophane, a gentleman holding flowers.
Milligan earns his own money. He asks Fantoni, why don’t you dance?
Fantoni is leaning against the wall smoking another cigar. He looks at Milligan for a long time until Finch is convinced that Fantoni will punch Milligan.
Finally Fantoni says, I can’t dance.
They all walk up the passage with Florence Nightingale. Approaching the front door she drops an envelope. The envelope spins gently to the floor and everyone walks around it. They stand on the porch and wave goodnight to her as she drives off in her black government car.
Returning to the house Milligan stoops and picks up the envelope. He hands it to Finch and says, for you. Inside the official envelope is a form letter with the letterhead of the Department of Housing. It says, Dear Mr. Finch, the department regrets that you are now in arrears with your rent. If this matter is not settled within the statutory seven days you will be required to find other accommodation. It is signed, Nancy Bowlby.
Milligan says, what is it?
Finch says, it’s from Florence Nightingale, about the rent.
Milligan says, seven days?
Finch says, oh, she has a job to do, it’s not her fault.
May has the back room upstairs. Finch is lying in bed in “the new extensions”. He can hear Milligan calling to May.
Milligan says, May?
May says, what is it?
Milligan says, come here.
Their voices, Milligan’s distant, May’s close, seem to exist only inside Finch’s head.
May says, what do you want?
Milligan shouts, I want to tell you something.
May says, no you don’t, you just want me to tuck you in.
Milligan says, no. No, I don’t.
Fantoni’s loud raucous laugh comes from even further away.
The-man-who-won’t-give-his-name is knocking on the ceiling of his room with a broom. Finch can hear it going, bump, bump, bump. The Sibelius record jumps. May shouts, quit it.
Milligan says, I want to tell you something.
May shouts, no you don’t.
Finch lies naked on top of the blue sheets and tries to hum the albatross song but he has forgotten it.
Milligan says, come
here
. May? May, I want to tell you something.
May says, tuck yourself in, you lazy bugger.
Milligan giggles. The giggle floats out into the night.
Fantoni is in helpless laughter.
Milligan says, May?
May’s footsteps echo across the floorboards of his room and cross the corridor to Milligan’s room. Finch hears Milligan’s laughter and hears May’s footsteps returning to May’s room.
Fantoni shouts, what did he want?