The Far Bank of the Rubicon (The Pax Imperium Wars: Volume 1) (24 page)

For a few seconds, they lapsed into silence. Sophia sat on the love seat, her pastel pink dress spread out around her, Jonas across from her in the chair.

Since his father died, she hadn’t seen Jonas, except once from afar. The last time she had spent any time with him had been at his graduation party.

She either hadn’t been deemed important enough to bring down to the fortress under the palace, or it was an oversight.

Since the day of the attack, life had been rather miserable for those in the palace outside the loops of power. There hadn’t been any studies with Dmitri, and all events had been canceled, while life afterwards found a new routine. In the last three days, she had played a lot of cards with Josephine Lutnear and read a book or two, but most of the time, she had worried about Jonas.

Now that she was here sitting with him, she felt unsure as to how to comfort him. She wanted to take him into her arms and hold him, but she held back, uncertain how he would respond. She tried words. “Jonas, I’m so sorry.”

He looked at her and nodded, tears filling the bottom-half of his eyes. He tried to smile again, but lapsed into sobs. Sophia held her arms open. Jonas fell into them, coming to sit on the couch next to her. For a while, she held him, resting his head against her shoulder, his tears falling onto the bare tops of her breasts.

Despite his tears and the grief of the moment, perhaps because of them, Sophia’s body responded to having him so close. Her cheeks flushed a little, and she felt a rush that made her back want to stretch out. After four years of not even being able to touch him, she was finally alone with Jonas and holding him. She would have been lying if she said that it didn’t feel good, but it made her uncomfortable. It felt inappropriate. She wasn’t at all sure whether he had even noticed that she held him, or if he even cared at the moment.

For a while, Jonas continued to cry. Sophia ran her fingers through the stubble of his military grade haircut, gently letting them play on the brown skin of his neck.

“Why, Sophia? Why did this happen?”

As the daughter of a volatile and capricious man, Sophia had experienced enough to know there was no answer to that question. She decided not to take the bait. “I don’t know, Jonas. But it did, and you’ll get through it.”

Jonas kept his head down as he spoke. “I was at a meeting today where the bishop seemed to think that this was all part of some cosmic plan. That the murder of my father and the slaughter of millions was part of God doing something good.”

Sophia’s heart hurt, and a lump formed in her throat. Anger rose up in her chest. For a while, she didn’t try to answer. She just let Jonas cry and continued to let her fingers play. After a bit, she leaned down, kissed the top of his head, and decided to speak. “Jonas, I think that’s an incredibly heartless and cruel thing to say. That man sounds like a complete jackass, and I don’t think you should let him speak for God.”

Jonas chuckled bitterly. “Then who should speak for God, if there even is a God to speak for?”

Sophia felt the anger in what Jonas had just said. She didn’t want it to spill out at her, so she answered cautiously. “I don’t know. Probably no one. If there is a God, he or she or it is probably capable of speaking for herself.”

Jonas didn’t answer right away. He sighed. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right. It just doesn’t seem like he or she really wants to talk. She certainly doesn’t want to do anything to make it better.”

Sophia had been continuing to enjoy having him close. Even so, it surprised her when he turned his face toward her body and kissed her just above the curve of her breasts. Her breath caught, and her back stretched a little while she closed her eyes. He kissed her chest again. This time a little lower.

The unbridled torrent of emotions confused Sophia. No real part of her wanted him to stop. She had no qualms about Jonas or their relationship, but she hesitated, torn. Her body won out.

Reaching for Jonas’ hand, she brought it up to cup her breast through her dress. He fondled her curves, while his lips found her neck.

Sophia shivered.

Jonas stopped for a moment. “Computer, lock the room.”

There was a chirp and audible click from the doors.

He looked at Sophia’s face for a moment. “I think I have about an hour.”

She nodded, unable to speak, even as he went back to kissing her neck. Still, something nagged her.

A soft sigh escaped her lips while she felt her nipples become engorged. She pushed her dress down on the side Jonas held, allowing the rest of her breast and her stiff nipple to escape. Her back arched, and she pressed down on the side of Jonas’ head, moving it to her breast. He took her nipple in his mouth, and she moaned a little more loudly than she ought. Heat flooded her whole body, but particularly a small area between her legs, which longed for pressure.

Some other force inside Sophia rebelled. She opened her eyes and tried to breathe, to think. She always promised herself she would make a careful decision about this, but as Jonas’ hands played over the back of her dress, she recognized that she already had made a decision. For the last four years, she had been making the same decision. This was the man she wanted—there was no one else. She wanted to live her life with Jonas Athena, and he wanted to do the same with her. At least, she believed he did. He talked like he did, but some part of her panicked, and suddenly, she wasn’t sure. She realized she needed to hear him say it.

Sophia gently moved Jonas’ head away from her. She took his hands off her dress and quickly stood up. Before he could pull her back, she stepped away from him, putting the chair between them, breathing hard.

Jonas looked hurt.

Sophia felt her throat grow tight. She hadn’t wanted to add to his wounds.

Tears welled up as she spoke. “Jonas, I want to do this. I really do. I want to do this now and here and with you, but I promised myself.” Sophia swallowed hard, trying to stay on top of her roiling emotions. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t give myself to anyone, until I was sure that he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. I’ve had too much hurt in my life, and I couldn’t handle it if you left me.”

Tears came again to Jonas’ face. His voice pleaded for her understanding. “Leave you? Sophie, I couldn’t—I won’t. I mean, having your friendship has made the last four years tolerable. I’m not sure that I would have gotten through them without you, and I know the only way I am going to get through the coming few days is with you. Where would I go? This gilded cage that ensnares us both, who else would understand it? Who could cope with it? If not you, who? You’re my best friend, and I love you, Sophia. I love you madly. I always will.”

Even as he spoke, her worries faded. “I love you too, Jonas.”

He smiled then, and so did she.

Still, one more worry rose up to block her path. For as long as she could remember, she had always done what her family wanted of her. She wasn’t sure what her father would think if he knew about this, and she wasn’t sure what Jonas’ family would think. The fastest way to get a ticket home would be to get on the wrong side of Jonas’ aunt. “What will the palace think?”

Standing up, Jonas said with heat, “The palace be damned. I get to make this decision, and so do you. I’m tired of taking orders, Sophia. I won’t let anybody take you from me. Propriety and station be damned—I want you.” He took a step toward her.

Hearing him say it, Sophia made up her mind. She stepped back from the chair and turned away from Jonas, walking to the bed. She undid the buttons on the back of her dress as she went.

From behind her, Jonas spoke while taking off his clothing. “The real question is—what will your father think?”

Sure of her footing again, Sophia answered without hesitation. “He’ll be angry that you aren’t Stephen, but this is my decision, not his.”

Jonas laughed.

When she turned around again, her dress had fallen to the floor. Jonas faced her from a few paces away, completely naked. Instinctively, she covered her breasts, and then recovering, she let her hands drop while she removed her underwear.

Jonas stepped forward and looked at her. He stared at her body, consuming it with his eyes. His gaze made her feel shy, but she refused to flinch. Instead, she looked at him in return, curiously examining his erection.

He looked up at her eyes. “It’s my first time,” he said.

It didn’t surprise her. The life of a teenage noble was hyper-scripted, and most palaces afforded much less opportunity than the public thought.

Her father’s hedonistic tendencies might have made his palace the exception which proved the rule, but that didn’t change things when you were his daughter. For your average courtier in Galatia, touching the Duke’s daughter would have been the kiss of death, but Jonas was safe. He was a prince.

“Mine, too,” she answered.

“I’m glad,” he said, as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “We can be awkward together.” He reached out for her.

Sophia stepped toward him, coming to stand between his legs. He wrapped his arms around her and ran his hands over her butt, while he kissed her belly. She played with the hair on his head again. In a little while, one of his hands came around her front and reached up for her breast. Sophia took the hand in hers and kissed it, and then his wrist.

She stepped out from between his legs and got on the bed, lying on her back. Jonas crawled over beside her, again taking a moment to look at her before coming to lie next to her, pressing his erection into her hip. He kissed her lips, caressing them with his own.

His mouth tasted sweet, and she kissed him in return, touching his teeth with the tip of her tongue. As they kissed, Sophia felt the insides of her thighs warm and become wet.

Jonas’ free hand wandered around her belly and then downward.

Instinctively, Sophia spread her legs apart and thrust her hips upward. She wanted his fingers to move a little lower.

He stopped kissing her. Confused, he asked, “Did you want something?”

Frustrated that he had moved his lips away from her own, Sophia took one hand and put it behind Jonas’ head, pulling him back to her. She used her other hand to place Jonas’ fingers where she wanted them. Her back arched, even as she did so. Trying to focus, she blurted out, “Rub there, but not that hard.”

Jonas followed her lead, and she let go, grabbing the bed covering in her clenched hand. She tried to look at him, to revel in the utter fascination in his eyes, but she couldn’t concentrate any longer. Her eyes closed, even as her hips moved, and then the world turned upside down. She moaned.

Jonas instantly covered her mouth, and she closed her lips, gasping, while her body shook.

He held her then, even while she continued to convulse. She leaned into him, tears of radiant joy flowing down her cheeks. Before she stopped, she begged him, “Come inside me, Jonas. I want you between my legs.”

Jonas nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

Frustrated, Sophia sat up, just in time to see him disappear into his dressing room.

A second later, he reappeared, towel in hand. “You’re going to bleed, aren’t you?”

Sophia furrowed her brow. She hadn’t thought about that. “I’m supposed to.”

Jonas moved forward. “Let’s put this down, just in case. I don’t want the staff to have any guesses as to what happened here today. A bloody nose or any number of things could explain the towel.”

Sophia nodded, a little frightened. She lifted her backside off the bed, and Jonas slipped the towel under her.

When she lay back down again, Jonas asked her, “Are you scared?”

She decided not to lie. It felt like a lie would wreck the moment. “Yeah. A little.”

As he laid himself down between her legs, he said, “Me, too. I hope I don’t hurt you too much. I’ll try to be gentle.”

It took them a long, awkward moment to get Jonas positioned correctly. In the end, Sophia reached down.

When she had him in what she thought was the right place, Sophia looked up at his eyes and nodded.

He pushed forward, gently at first, and then with more force as her body resisted his penetration.

She arched her back involuntarily as he hurt her.

The deed done, Jonas leaned down and kissed her neck. “I’m sorry.”

Sophia shook her head as her eyes watered a little from the pain. “It’s OK. It feels good, too. Just move slowly.”

Ever so gently, Jonas began to move, rocking his hips back and forth, pushing inside her a little deeper each time.

Sophia reached up and pulled him down. “I want your weight on top of me.”

Jonas wrapped his arms around her shoulders as he gently moved within. She felt enveloped by him, loved and safe. She absorbed his feel and his smell, most of all the pressure between her legs.

She felt her thighs begin to warm again.

As the pleasure started to increase, the pain lessened.

She gasped. “I want you deeper, Jonas. I want you in me.”

Jonas pushed down, grinding against her with his weight. He grunted and then held his breath.

“More, Jonas. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I want more.”

Jonas began to move in earnest now, pushing his weight down into her pelvis.

Sophia rose toward her peak. And then he stopped, gasping, and collapsing on top of her.

She held him against her then, as he shuddered, breathing heavily. In a few seconds, he lay quiet—spent.

Sophia’s body continued to hum, pent up with nowhere to go. A part of her was disappointed to have missed out on her release, and she sighed.

Jonas didn’t notice.

She decided she would be all right. For now, her frustration felt small in light of the intimacy they had shared.

Face buried in the curls of her hair, Jonas said, “I love you, Sophia Malek.”

“I love you, Jonas Athena.”

Jonas leaned up off her and, still inside, looked her in the eye. “Right now, I feel like we’re the only two people in the world and like everything is going to be all right.”

Sophia smiled. “With you inside me, that’s an easy thing to believe.”

They stayed that way for a moment, and then Jonas slowly moved out of her body and lay down next to her on the bed.