The Executioner's Song (24 page)

Maybe they should wait a day to fly. He told her, We’re going to on that plane. What’s a few farts? Made his decision in and there was April hurting so bad that he thought he’d have to the pilot to turn around and get her to a doctor. When they landed Midway, Kathryne still kept the news from him. It wasn’t until was out of the Seabees that she admitted being afraid to tell because there were all those black sailors on the Base. She’d afraid he’d run amok. It hurt his feelings that she considered that unstable to go out shooting black people at random. And all while on Midway, April had been acting unmanageable, know why. Had no idea what she’d been through. So he got hard on her.

April would say she wanted to go out. He’d say, “Did you your room? …. Yes.” “Okay, go ahead.” But when he got around looking, she hadn’t done a thing. So when she came back, he’d her, “I’m going to knock the shit out of you.” She’d say, on me and I’ll go to the Chaplain.” You didn’t have to be pered to kick somebody in the butt for talking back like that. In

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one time he bumped her pretty hard. She went straight to the Chap lain. Two of them, Catholic and Protestant, both came to the house.

“Well, I understand what you think about me beating her all the time,” he said, “and if you want to try socking it to me for child abuse, go ahead. But I haven’t been abusing her. I only kicked her, because she threatened me with you.” Sad thing was, he had thought she was lying when all the time she was going right out of her head. Told him she’d cleaned her bedroom and thought she did, you know. Didn’t know the difference.

Sitting by that big barbecue, watching those rocks heat, these kinds of things were heating up in him. Mike, the sweetest of the kids, also began to go off half-cocked on Midway. He and a little buddy got into the house of the Senior Chief when the man was off the Base on vacation, and dumped all the goddamn food Senior Chief had left for his pet fish into the tank at once. That killed the fish. A real good kid, never been in trouble before, but on Midway he began to go wild.

Then he remembered Sissy living with Barrett up above a bar in Lehi. Kathryne had him half crazy with the idea this fellow Barrett was nothing but a low, dirty heroin pusher who had Sissy strung out. Used to imagine Nicole tied to a bed while Barrett poked needles in her. So he got himself fired up by drinking down in the bar below, figuring his daughter was right above him with a junkie who could be carrying any kind of weapon. Finally, he just walked up the stairs, stepped over a wino or two, and knocked on the door. There was this sweet, pleasant-looking squirt, liked him on sight, but he said all the same, “Barrett, I’m gonna cut your goddamn balls off.” Instead the kid just looked at hirr, smart kid, a lot of potential, cute, with small features, looked just like Sissy, and the kid said, “Well, uh, I know things haven’t been going right.” Before he got done running himself down, Charley got to feeling sorry for him. Something positive about the boy. Maybe it was the way Barrett looked at him when told there was gonna be a castration party, and said, “If it’s going to make you feel better, here I am.” Anyway, Charley had to admit once he got a full look at Nicole, “Boy, you don’t look bad to me,” he had said. “Haven’t lost any weight, you know.” In fact, Nicole looked terrific. Charley mumbled something about “Your mom said you was here on

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heroin. Shoot, you’re all right.” He talked just a little bit then walked down the stairs and left. Felt foolish. Felt double foolish because he turned around at the last and said to Nicole, “Sissy, will you ever forgive me for what I did?” Said that in front of Barrett — he must have been out of his head. But he was brooding over what Lee had told him, and somehow took it personally.

That was when he fell asleep. Woke up in the dawn with the out. After that, it was all catch up and lots of smoke in your nostrils.

didn’t crack a smile. In the silence, Charley felt himself stepping in. “I mean, you’re not serious, are you?” he asked. The boy friend said,

“Nah, I was just wondering.”

It was only when the conversation was over, that Charley started wondering ff the remark about wanting to kill somebody had been aimed at him.

During the morning, tension kept building. Charley finally put beef on a spit. Everybody was disappointed. Everybody kept tellin him how good it was. “Not too burnt?” “No, not too burnt.” “Not sooty? …. Hell, no.”

Around this point, his dad mentioned that Sissy was livin

the mad. Why didn’t they invite her? Charley didn’t want to, exactly; but he gave a phone call. It took something. He just had stopped by to see her.

Then he was wondering what kind of hippie she had now. it to Sissy to locate the undesirables. Or should he say the dogs? Some down-and-out jerk or rotten bastard.

He was getting ready to picture a truly pimply long-haired son a bitch when Sissy came in with her new guy. Charley thought looked a little old, but regular enough. In fact, Charley thought might hit it off if they met in the Army or something.

Right away the Gilmore fellow said he wanted to have a talk, so they went to the backyard. Even while Charley was there, the boy friend lay down, on the grass, put his head, and started to talk. First thing he said was real funny. didn’t like it. Gilmore said, “You ever feel like killing somebody?”

Charley tried to pass it off as a joke. “Yeah,” he said, “I feel killing my boss all the time, the ignorant son of a bitch.” But

This was one evening that just refused to get comfortable. After Sissy came in, damned if one of Charley’s brothers didn’t point to Wendy and say, “Nicole, meet your new stepmother.” Wendy looked embarrassed half to death and Nicole finally said, “You are my stepmother?” Wendy said, “I guess so.” Nicole looked at her real strange.

Then, Nicole started necking with Gilmore on the grass in front of everybody. Charley saw Verna getting plenty annoyed, she came by pretending to laugh, but said, “Knock it off, you two.” It was the way you’d shoo fornicating dogs. Gilmore got up like he’d been shot.

A little later, Charley heard he almost picked a fight with Glade Christiansen who had been sitting under a lilac bush giving a bottle to his youngest boy, a year old. Gilmore came along with a football, asked if he’d like to play catch. Glade said, “I’m trying to get the kid fed.’, Gary sat down on a stool and started asking questions about what Glade did, but ran out of inquiries. So he looked at Glade and said, “Want to know more about me?” Glade really wanted to be alone feeding the kid. He said, “Not really.” Then Gilmore began to act like he was cruising for a bruising. Said to Glade, “You give me the impression you’re quite a man.” Glade wasn’t looking for trouble, and answered, “How do you figure that?” Gilmore said, “Well, you just look like you’re a real man.” Kept looking him over. Glade didn’t see any reason to say anything and Gilmore just walked away.

Then the fellow must have had words with Nicole. He took off suddenly. Charley could hardly blame him. Understood the feeling. Like when you went to church once in five years, and the pewholders looked you over. Enough to make you buy a pew.

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Afterward, Charley heard that Gary went in the house, over a stool, fell down in the bathroom and Stein finally had to “Your friend looks pretty intoxicated.” To which Nicole, just a boat, said, “He’ll probably be all right.” Anyway, Gary took off. looked like she didn’t care. She was talking away to her relatives once.

At first, Nicole was hating her relatives and feeling double-loyal to Gary, necking with him on the grass..But she lost respect when he jumped so fast after Verna said, “Knock it off.”

Charley began to feel like he was missing every conversation that got him to brooding again how he had been pushed out of Service three years short of his pension. A terrible business to about ‘cause he felt April had done it to him with her mental ties, which, after Midway, just got worse and worse. One time cut her wrists, another night, an overdose. Whenever Charley left family to go overseas, he had to ask for a leave to come back April had flipped out again. Then he was out with Battalion, rugged duty on Okinawa, and they were kind of depending on but he had to go home twice. Emergency leaves. What with problem looking like it would continue, they recommended he out. Charley said, “I don’t want out.” They gave him a discharge. refused to sign it. Finally they just handed the thing to him and “Buddy, get on the plane.” Like that. He only had three more yearsi go. They really slipped it to him.

It was that kind of night. He finally asked Nicole to Kathryne. Maybe Angel, the youngest child, could come over stay with him tonight. He always felt upset about Angel. He away from her just now when she was 6, and she needed him: that point, Vema started to give him hell. Said there were too children around. For a woman who had raised eight kids, couldn’t count how many grandchildren, she sure didn’t like ones. Then his father started to get on him. “You ain’t staying The kids ain’t staying here.” They got in a fight. His father mi 68, but Charley was tempted to kick his butt if he hadn’t been so. Actually did give him a push. Then he grabbed Wendy and out speaking.

A true bummer fora Fourth of July Bicentennial celebration

In a funny way, Nicole began to feel half-ass proud of her family. So many strong cockeyed people, and there was Gary getting drunk on red wine, and feeding pills to her cousins. He was really looking on the battered side, and the goatee he was starting still looked like the three hairs of a goat. She wasn’t that sad when he left.

After all the trouble at Grand Central, she had never loved him more, but that was for a night, and another night. Now he was back on beer and Fiorinal. She just didn’t know how loyal she still felt. She was having thoughts about another man.

Mr. Clean was in her life. She hadn’t told Gary about him. He was too recent. Roger Eaton was his name, a superclean supersweet executive dude over at Utah Valley Mall and he had come into her
fie this unbelievable way. She got a letter from some fellow who never signed his name but said he would pay $5o if she slept with him Wednesday night. Could she leave her front door light on for a signal?p>

She showed the letter to Gary. He tore it up. Said he’d kill the son of a bitch. She forgot about it. Part of the weirdness of things.

But a couple of weeks later, this real/y good-looking wellbuilt fellow, blue eyes and nice dark brown hair, came up to her at a gas station and introduced himself. He was the one who wrote the letter, he said, and he wanted to buy her a Coke. She talked to him a little that day, saw him for coffee, and then really went to him for help after the fight with Gary on the highway, when she discovered that the scuffle in the car had left bruises all over her body. That got her so upset she went directly over to Roger Eaton’s office. He was sym pathetic so she went to see him again just yesterday after she went to vsit Gary at work and found him drinking beer in place of his lunch.

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She had never known a fellow who wore a suit to the job every day, and it tickled her. The first thought to go through her head tonight when Gary had to leave the party, was that Roger Eaton told her to use his home phone for emergencies. She could call him tonight. But that might spoil whatever little thing was there. It had been so long since she was able to think about one special or sexy quality in a fellow she liked instead of having to live with the whole thing — sweat, habits, gross-out, all. So she didn’t call. Just talked toi her father awhile, then went home.

Gary came in later. He had gone on drinking at Fred’s Loun with a couple of heavies in the Sundowners and now he was talkin of getting a motorcycle. Told them he was going to rip one off. he looked kind of sheepishly at Nicole. Admitted they had laughed out loud at him. The one thing, they explained, a cop looked over was a motorcyclet. A hot motorcycle lasted about as ion as an ice cube in your ass. Still, they were real dudes — eq self. He looked forward, he said, to doing business with them.

He was like a i9-year-old kid. Into bikes. Happy that bikers him. It softened her enough for things to get sweet again. What meal, drink, and relatives in the flesh, the party had left a little su after all. So they started to get it on. Then Gary had a time getting up. She couldn’t think of how she had once been so sure it improve.

Gary always put the blame on prison. All those years he had get his rocks off on nude pictures instead of leaning on a woman. She got mad enough tonight to tell him it was bullshit. was drinking too much, using Fiorinal too much. Gary defended Fiorinal. “I don’t want to make love with a headache,” he said. “i have headaches all the time, and Fiorinal relieves it.”

She sat there with her anger pushed in like a spring. Dead wet, he was going to give it a go. Don’t start what you can’t she told him. Be straight.

The work began. Now they wouldn’t get to bed till four, be up at six. Then he took some speed, and it took effect. He as a horn and wanted to fuck. She was so tired she could only of sleep. But they were doing it. On and on. He couldn’t come.

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Lying there, she said it clearly to herself, “He’s a bad package.”

In the second week of July, on a ,hot morning, she found Jim Hampton over at her mother’s house. After the way he had played around with April, Nicole didn’t feel too good about him, but he had his little sister and brother in tow, and she kind of enjoyed spending a day with somebody else for once. They just drove around and even stopped at her place in Spanish Fork so she could pick up something for the kids. Then she returned Hampton to her mother’s, and drove her own car back. With all that cruising, she must have driven close to a hundred miles that day.