The End Of Desire: A Rowan Gant Investigation (33 page)

“Partly. But mainly I think it’s
frustration,” I said with a nod. “To put it bluntly, I don’t think
she’s getting any, so to speak. Of her most recent two murders,
neither has been for the sexual gratification like those prior. One
appeared to be for the express purpose of working a cross against
me, since I am seen as another of her obstacles. Then, the Lewis
homicide was purely out of blind anger.”

“He should never have called
me by your name
,” she repeated Annalise’s words from
the tape with an understanding nod.

“Which explains the tongue,” Ben added.

“Exactly,” I agreed. “Blatant symbolism is
common in hoodoo, and most any other magick, so it would definitely
fit the way she thinks.”

Ben thrust his chin toward Constance with a
quick nod. “Speakin’ of the Lewis homicide, did you check it
out?”

“Not personally,” she replied, shaking her
head. “But we had a team there. From what I hear, apparently they
just missed you and Rowan.”

“Yeah, well we were just passin’
through.”

“I heard,” she replied then raised her
eyebrow and took on a concerned tone. “You know, Ben, you’re
probably going to get yourself suspended for taking Rowan
there.”

“That’s the plan.”

She sighed. “And you worry about me getting
into trouble.”

“Yeah, well, that’s life. So… Your guys find
anything we missed?”

She shook her head again. “Not that I’ve
heard. They’re still going over everything, but she didn’t seem to
leave anything that will help track her down.”

“Wunnerful,” he harrumphed. “So we’re still
at square one.”

“For now, it looks that way.”

“Okay, well, if you two will excuse me, I’m
going to go check on Felicity,” I said.

Constance gave me an understanding nod.
“That’s probably a good idea.”

I turned to head back to the bedroom, but
before I even made it as far as the hallway, the electronic trill
of a telephone ringing issued from the basement. A split second
later, the cordless handset from Felicity’s business line
downstairs, which was resting on the dining room table, chirped for
attention. I stopped mid-stride and turned around.

Constance looked over to me and asked, “Has
Devereaux heard Felicity’s voice?”

“Probably on the answering machine,” I
replied.

“Damn,” she mumbled. She stepped over and
picked up the handset anyway but simply held it in her hand as it
chirped again. “Does she actually identify herself on the outgoing
message?”

“I don’t think so. I believe she just
launches into the standard leave a message spiel.”

“Good. Maybe we’ll be okay then.” She thumbed
the talk button then placed it against her ear. Without missing a
beat, she said, “Emerald Photographic Services.”

She looked toward us and nodded as she
continued. “This is Felicity… The message? No, that would be my
assistant. Who is this?”

We watched silently as Constance put the
impromptu ruse into motion. Behind me, I heard the bedroom door
open and Felicity softly calling my name. I turned to see her
coming toward me, a questioning look on her face. I held my finger
up to my lips, motioning for her to stay quiet.

“I assure you, I am Felicity O’Brien,”
Constance said into the phone. “But, you still haven’t told me who
you…”

She shook her head and sighed then pulled the
phone away and thumbed it off.

“She hung up,” she said as she placed the
handset back onto the table. “Apparently she didn’t buy it.”

“The accent,” Ben offered. “Five’ll get ya’
ten Lewis mentioned it at some point.”

“You’re probably right,” she agreed. “And,
then she picked it up from the answering machine too, so there’s no
way around it.”

“You’d best let me answer it the next time,
then,” Felicity interjected.

“I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that,”
I said.

“Aye, and I don’t know if I’m comfortable
with her still being out there,” she spat. “It’s me she’s after. I
just want it over.”

“I understand that, honey, but with the state
you’re in, I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to talk to
her.”

“And what state is that?” she demanded.

“You’re distraught… Understandably so… And,
getting on the phone with her is just going to make it worse.”

“Rowan’s right, Felicity,” Constance added,
stepping back toward the rest of us. “Talking to Devereaux isn’t
going to be easy.”

“Damnú!
”
my wife snapped. “I don’t care! I just want this over!
Now!”

“Calm down, honey,” I said, trying to soothe
her.

“Calm down? Don’t you tell me to calm
down!”

“Felicity,” Ben started. “We’re just tryin’
ta’ protect you.”

“Well stop it! I don’t want you to protect
me!”

Before any of us could respond, the telephone
trilled again. Felicity twisted away from me and darted forward,
shouldering past Constance as she began to turn. In an instant my
wife snatched the handset from the table and had it pressed against
the side of her head.

“Hello!” she spat, her tone nothing short of
a demand.

All three of us started toward her, but she
slipped around to the opposite side of the table, effectively
placing it between her and us. We could have easily scrambled
around after her, but at this point it didn’t matter. The damage
was already done.

She barked into the phone, “Yes, this
is she, you
saigh
… No, it’s
Gaelic and it means bitch. Well, I don’t speak French either, but I
know
bitch
when I hear
it…”

Having no other recourse, Constance waved to
get Felicity’s attention. Once she had it, she pointed to her watch
and mouthed, “Keep her talking.”

My wife gave her a curt nod, but the hard
frown never left her face, even as she continued to speak, “No.
That was my assistant. She has a tendency to be overprotective…
Yes, I did get them. They were a lovely thought, but the police
wouldn’t let me keep them.”

Constance was keeping her eyes fixed on
Felicity, but she had stepped back into the living room and was
whispering into her cell phone.

“Aye, what’s wrong?” my wife asked. “Not
getting the reaction you wanted?… Did you really think a little
blood was going to bother me? I’m afraid you’re going to have to
try harder, then…”

I had once been right where my wife was now.
On a phone talking to a serial killer—one that wanted me dead more
than anything—so, I knew the drill all too well. Unfortunately, my
wife wasn’t following it. But, of course, neither had I.

Even so, I had at least tried to keep my
emotions in check. However, what I heard coming from Felicity at
this moment was a darkness so black that it made me fear each
coming word.

“Why would I care?” she spat. “I was done
with him. Besides, he deserved it, didn’t he?… You said so
yourself. He shouldn’t have called you Felicity… That had to hurt.
Him worshipping me and not you… Really? It’s too bad you feel that
way. Why not? Maybe she’s tired of you, did you ever think of
that?… Maybe you just aren’t worthy of her… Maybe you’re just all
used up and that’s why she wants me… What makes you think you can
stop her? Really? I’d like to see you try… Is that so? Well, you
know where I am. Come and get me… Hello? Hello?…”

Felicity allowed the phone to slowly drop
down from her ear then switched it off.

“She hung up,” she muttered.

“The call was coming from a prepaid cell
phone,” Constance announced. “They pulled a grid location but
didn’t get an exact pinpoint. There are units responding to the
area right now. Don’t worry, you did fine, Felicity. We’ll find
her.”

My wife laid the handset on the table then
pulled out a chair and slowly lowered herself into it. I watched as
the hard expression on her face began to ease then melt away. She
stared across the table at me for a moment, until finally there was
nothing more than blankness and a vacant stare in her eyes.

“Honey…” I began.

Before I could get the rest of the sentence
out of my mouth, a tear began rolling down her cheek and her lower
lip started to quiver as her body trembled. By the time I got
around the table to her, she was sobbing in violent heaves.

Across the room I heard Ben say to Constance,
“I’m callin’ Helen.”

“A
nything?” I asked as
Constance walked into the kitchen and laid her cell phone on the
island with a disgusted sigh.

She shook her head and frowned. “No. Not a
thing. They’ve searched the area, out through a ten block radius.
They’re still working it but nothing yet. She turned the cell off
almost as soon as she hung up, so we can’t even track a
signal.”

“So, we wait,” I said.

“And, we keep looking,” she agreed.
“Remember, she’s definitely agitated, so she’s far more likely to
make a mistake now than if she was calm and calculating. That’s a
good thing for us.”

“She’s been making mistakes for a while now,”
I added as I turned back to fill the coffeemaker and start a fresh
pot.

“Yes, she has. Just not the kind we need her
to make.”

I finished filling the reservoir then slid
the carafe in and flipped the switch. Instead of turning around to
face Constance, however, I simply leaned against the counter and
allowed my head to hang. The chronic thud in the back of my skull
was drumming along in unison with my heartbeat, and on top of that,
my temples were throbbing with the muddied pains of exhaustion.

I glanced to the side and settled my eyes on
the bottle of aspirin that was still sitting on the counter where I
had left it days before. I had tried repeatedly to self-medicate
with other over the counter pain relievers, following their
directions to the letter, but plain old aspirin was the only thing
that ever seemed to help. Giving up, I reached for the bottle and
popped it open. Instead of my normal handful, however, I limited
the dose to four tablets. Whether or not that would be enough to
even touch the pain, I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t need to get back
into the habit of poisoning myself.

I popped the pills into my mouth then quickly
washed them down with a swig of my cold coffee. Setting the cup
aside, I continued to rest against the counter, eyes closed and
chin against my chest.

After a moment, Constance quietly asked, “Are
you okay?”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Headache.”

“That’s not unusual for you, I don’t
guess.”

“Yeah. Lucky me.”

“Is Felicity still on the phone with
Helen?”

“She was when I checked a few minutes ago,” I
acknowledged, pushing away from the counter ledge and turning, then
leaning my back against it. “It’s been over an hour now. But, at
least it seems to be helping her.”

“Good,” she said as she slid onto one of the
barstools near the island. “I really hated seeing Felicity like
that.”

“You and me both.”

“By the way, Ben is out on the front porch
having a cigar. He said to let you know in case you wanted to join
him.”

“I could probably use that,” I replied. “But
I don’t know if I have the energy right now.”

I couldn’t help but notice that Constance was
eyeing me carefully from her seat. She continued to watch me as I
stood there rubbing my temples. I’m sure I looked like a total
wreck. I know I felt like one.

Finally, she said, “You look tired.”

I sighed, “I feel tired.”

“How are
you
doing with all this?”

I let out a sarcastic half chuckle. “Just
another day in my fucked up life, I suppose.”

“Right,” she replied, her own sardonic tone
showing through. “So, how are you really? Besides being tired, I
mean.”

“Truth? Angry. Maybe a little worried.”

“A little?”

“Okay, a lot.”

“You don’t have to worry, Rowan. We aren’t
going to let anything happen to either one of you.”

“I know you believe that,” I replied with a
careful nod. “But there is only so much you will be able to
stop.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning, Annalise is a known quantity. She’s
corporeal and I know you can do something about her. Miranda on the
other hand… Well, she’s beyond your control. Maybe even mine…”

“Won’t stopping Devereaux stop Miranda as
well?”

“I really don’t know. But, I doubt it. There
may well have been some truth to what Felicity said to Annalise on
the phone earlier. Miranda might be looking for new blood. If she
is, then she won’t stop until she gets it.”

“And, since she has fixated on Felicity…” she
left the rest of the sentence unspoken.

“Exactly,” I agreed. “It will be fine if
there is no connection there, but if she finds a way to make one…
Assuming she hasn’t already…Well… I don’t really even want to
speculate.”

“How could she manage to create a connection,
though?”

“That’s the wonderful and extremely scary
thing about magick, Constance. A little goes a long way, and
something very simple can have a great impact.”

“So, you’re worrying about what they found at
the Lewis homicide?”

I shrugged. “I guess I am. On the surface it
seems like a fairly innocuous bit of spellwork aimed at lust. I
keep trying to tell myself since Annalise isn’t getting the
satisfaction she wants, she did it for that specific purpose… A
stab at re-igniting her own passions… But, it wasn’t really hoodoo,
which is a little odd. Of course, it had some of the hallmarks of
folk magick, which is no surprise and could explain the deviation.
I just don’t know for sure what it was, and that’s the thing that
bothers me most.”

“Isn’t there anything you can do about
it?”