The Earl's Outrageous Lover (10 page)

Another horrible day faced her and her mind went through all the things she had scheduled.  Lunch with Edward was definitely going to be awkward.  Did he regret what had happened last night?  Obviously he did or he would be here this morning, sharing the experience with her all over again.

Throwing off the covers, she trudged to the bathroom.  There was nothing she could do but face the day because it wasn’t going to go away.  And she needed to face Edward, to figure out what to do about him and how to handle him.

Chapter 5

Edward glared at the door, wishing he could get this task over with more quickly.  He was standing in front of Jessica’s door, hesitating to knock.  He had scheduled lunch with her and now he regretted the decision.  They would have to get married, he thought.  A week ago, he would have been horrified at the idea of marrying someone like Jessica with all of her flightiness and disregard for tradition.

Now, the idea of having her in his life, of waking up to her soft, incredible body every morning, of seeing her smile at him as he walked into the house at night, the idea made him feel….more than good, he acknowledged.  Yes, Jessica was the woman he was going to marry.

So why did he feel so guilty about the whole situation?

Because he’d been an ass last night.  He should have avoided her.  He never should have kissed her.  Or argued with her.  But seeing her in another man’s arms had made him more than a little crazy with jealousy.

He’d never been jealous before.  He’d been in relationships and they’d ended without bad feelings from either party.  At least, he didn’t think any of his previous relationships had been emotionally invested in him.  He dismissed the idea as ludicrous because they simply hadn’t been those kinds of women.  In the past, he had entered into relationships with women only with the understanding that it was not a commitment, that either party could leave any time without hard feelings.

He smiled as he thought about Jessica’s anger with him over her dress last night.  Yes, Jessica was emotional, but he found that he liked that about her.  He thought it was cute and her anger turned him on.  Hell, everything about her turned him on, he thought.

Facing her for lunch was probably a good idea.  They could talk, discuss the wedding plans and get things moving in the right direction.  She’d have to concede, he thought.  Last night he’d taken her virginity and it was now the time to do things correctly.  Marriage first, sex later, he told himself.

He never cowered from his responsibilities so why was he not knocking on the woman’s door instead of bracing himself to see her?  Because he wasn’t sure what she’d thought about last night, he told himself.  She was mercurial to say the least and he wasn’t sure what to think, what to expect.

Which was definitely part of her allure, he thought with a slight smile.

He was being ridiculous, he told himself and forced his hand to reach up and knock.  It was instantly opened and Edward glared down at a smiling face, Jessica’s chocolate brown eyes ignoring his anger as she pulled on a sweater due to the cooler weather today.

“All ready,” she said and stepped around him.

Edward turned and watched her bounce down the stairs, his eyes hungrily taking in her sexy figure in the tight jeans that hugged her round derriere and long legs.  The leather boots came up over her calves, ending just above her knees in the front and made her legs look even longer somehow.  He had no idea what color shirt she wore because her cream sweater covered it up, but he suspected it would be something that perfectly suited those expressive eyes of hers.  She always wore colors that made her look soft and luscious.  The woman definitely knew how to play her features to their best advantage with a daring sense of style and flair.  He’d never dated a woman who could pull off wearing knee high boots before, but he found that he liked it.

They drove a short distance to a small restaurant with only about fifteen tables that he knew served excellent food with relatively good privacy.  He didn’t really want others to overhear this conversation.  The brick walls of the converted courtyard gave the tables a sense of old-world style and coziness while the sun created a dappled pattern over the tables.

Once they’d ordered, Edward sat back in his chair and looked across the table at the lovely young woman who had been placed into his charge.  He watched her carefully while he said, “Jessica, I’m sorry about last night.  It never should have happened, but now that it has, we need to deal with the consequences.”

Jessica blinked, barely breathing as the pain of his comment struck her right in the heart.  “You’re sorry?”  she whispered, suddenly fighting back tears.

He sighed and leaned forward.  “Yes.  I was supposed to be helping you and last night…well, I obviously wasn’t much help, was I?”

She didn’t want to talk about his obligations.  She wanted him to tell her how much last night meant to him, that he wanted to do it again and again.  She wanted him to tell her that he was in love with her.

Okay, so that last one was a bit too much to ask, but the other desires were completely reasonable, she thought.

What she didn’t want was to sit across this lovely table and have him tell her that he regretted what they’d done.  It was bad enough that he’d left her this morning without even a goodbye, but to say that he was sorry?!  That was beyond horrible!

Jessica blinked hard and turned away.  She wanted to scream at him, lash out to give him the same kind of pain she was feeling, but that wasn’t fair.  Of course, the big question was, did she want to be fair?  She thought about it for a long moment, then sighed inwardly.  It wasn’t Edward’s fault that she was now having trouble separating a physical attraction from the emotional ramifications of that attraction.  She should know better, but she’d fallen into the same trap as so many other women had over time.

“Last night was a one off, I suppose,” she said and looked at the brick wall behind him, desperate to not embarrass herself by breaking down into ridiculous girly tears over the incident.  When she’d started thinking about last night as an ‘incident’ was a mystery, but she grasped onto that as her escape.  “We should just move on and pretend like last night didn’t happen.”

Edward’s eyes narrowed.  Something in the way she was sitting so still, the way her eyes looked abnormally bright, was telling him that she didn’t really feel that way.  “Jessica, last night…” he started to say, but Jessica interrupted him.

“I know, it was pretty good.  But I still have that deadline, right?”  she said, trying to anticipate his words and get them said herself.  Somehow, coming from her mouth, they weren’t so hurtful.

“That wasn’t what I was going to discuss, but if that’s really how you feel about the issue…”

She pasted a smile on her face and looked at his nose, not able to look into his eyes right at the moment.  Besides, ‘issue’ seemed inordinately worse than ‘incident’ so he was on her bad boy list right now.  She didn’t feel like being sincere and honest with a man who referred to a mind blowing sexual experience as an ‘issue’.  “Yes, we should put it behind us.”

Edward didn’t like that at all.  He didn’t want to put it behind him.  He wanted very much to put it in their future.  In their very near future if he had anything to say about it.  But apparently he didn’t have much say if Jessica wanted to ignore the chemistry that was almost palpable.  “If that’s what you want,” he said after a long moment.  Something in her face told him to challenge her assertion.  Something wasn’t quite right, but then he recognized that he didn’t know Jessica well enough to know what was right or wrong about her expressions.  Her beautiful features were so animated most of the time, he had a hard time keeping up with whatever she was thinking, which was usually right on her face or in those expressive eyes.

With a sigh, he leaned forward, ready to get this over with.  “Okay, tell me how you want to move forward.”  The thought occurred to him that he would prefer moving forward with her legs wrapped around his waist, her body arched against him….but she must have different ideas.  He mentally braced for her explanation.

She never thought she could hate a man as strongly as she felt right now about Edward.  She thought her heart might be breaking in two but she refused to play the needy girlfriend to his distant one-time lover routine.  With a deep breath, she girded herself for the conversation.  “I don’t really have anything other than what I’ve been doing.  It might not be working too well, but I don’t have an alternative.”  She reached out and touched her water glass, her finger tracing the rivulets flowing down the side as the ice melted.

“And so if it isn’t working too well, perhaps we could move on to a different plan.  Maybe you have a plan B in case things get too close to the deadline?”  he suggested.  He actually wanted to suggest that she consider him for her husband.  He could provide for her, keep her safe and she’d never want for anything.  There was also this tension between them that would certainly help on those long, lonely winter nights.  He wouldn’t mind coming home to her warm smile instead of the nothingness he’d be facing without her in his life.  He thought of Julianna and their mutual assumption that the two of them could make a good marriage together.  That was completely shot to hell now.  Julianna was a beautiful, elegant woman who deserved better than a man who was waiting for another woman.

Damn, could this get any more complicated he thought?

“I don’t have a plan B.  I only have the current idea of finding a husband as quickly as possible.”

“So what are you looking for in a man?”  he asked, resigned to push through this responsibility regardless of how distasteful it was becoming.  He hated the idea of Jessica in the arms of another man.  She was his!  She’d given herself to him last night!

Jessica looked back at Edward and forced a smile.  “Well, he definitely has to be tall.  I know that shorter men are just as nice, but I want a man that I can snuggle up with while dancing.  And he has to be strong.  I don’t want to sit on his lap and feel like I’m going to crush him with my weight.”  She squinched up her nose and shook her head.  “Not a sexy feeling.”

“You’re not heavy in any way, Jessica.  So those concerns shouldn’t be an issue.”  Edward wanted to slam his fist against the table and demand that she just marry him and forget about all this ridiculous search, but refrained and focused on trying to find someone that was willing to make her happy.  “Tall and muscular.  Anything else?”  he demanded.  Most women would have said they wanted a man who made them laugh or who was intelligent.

She tilted her head to the side as if thinking, but in reality, she was looking at him, trying to determine what qualities she admired in him the most.  “I think a man who accepts responsibilities with ease would be a great asset.  My father will be placing a great burden on whoever I marry and he’ll need to manage all of those businesses.  So someone who is good in business, who is mindful of the employees and takes care of their welfare and won’t be abusive.”

Okay, that criterion surprised him.  It was more selfless than he would have thought of her.  And he actually admired her for that.  Among many other things, he thought grimly.  “Someone who can manage a company.  Got it.  What else?”

The waitress arrived with their drinks and Jessica took a sip, smiling her thanks before she continued.  “I’ve thought about this a great deal and I know that most women want a man who makes them laugh but I really want a man who makes me feel pretty and sexy and someone I can admire.  I want someone with an inner strength who will listen to my problems and talk to me about his.  Someone who likes who I am and won’t try to change me.”

Edward looked at her and thought those were pretty easy requirements to fulfill.  “I don’t think that will be hard to find,” he said softly.

Jessica’s heart stopped when she looked across the table at him.  Was that admiration shining back at her from his eyes?  Impossible!

She took another sip of her ice water, trying to clear her mind and focus on other characteristics that she would want in a husband.  “I want someone who is nice to pets and wants to eventually have children.”

Again, that wouldn’t have been the items he thought she would want.  She seemed like the kind of person who didn’t want to be weighed down by the heavy responsibility of children.  She appeared to him as one who wanted to have more freedom, so this was a refreshing insight.  He liked it, he thought with that same warm feeling that he normally felt when he was around this woman.  “How many children do you want?”  he asked, curious despite himself.

Jessica smiled and shrugged one shoulder.  “I don’t know.  I think I’d like to have several, but I won’t know that until I’ve had one or two.  I know lots of people want a whole clan of kids, but that gets to be pretty chaotic.  But definitely more than one.  Being an only child was pretty lonely at times, wasn’t it?”

Edward had to admit that she had a solid idea of what she wanted.  “Do you have anyone in mind?”

Jessica hesitated to answer.  Since she was staring at the man she wanted to marry, she couldn’t really tell him no.  “I think I should ask for professional help,” she finally answered.  “You know….after last night…maybe it would be better….”  She finished off lamely.

Edward was furious at her response, but tried to hide his reaction.  “Can you explain to me why?  And what kind of professional help would you obtain?”

She shifted uncomfortably in her chair but had to wait until the waitress put their lunch in front of each of them and left before she could answer him.  When they were once again alone, she picked up her fork and stabbed at some of the salad in the bowl in front of her.  “There are agencies around that specialize in these kinds of things.”

Edward already started shaking his head even before she finished her statement.  “That’s not appropriate, Jessica.”

“Why not?”

It actually was probably a pretty good idea.  But that would eliminate her need to see him and he wanted to postpone the elimination of Jessica from his life for as long as possible.  That was an odd thought since he’d just met her a few days ago.  How had she worked her way into his world so thoroughly in such a short period of time?

Then he looked across the table at her and knew exactly how it had happened.  It probably happened to all the men, and women, she ran into.  Jessica loved life, and she loved people.  That beauty shone out from everything she did and everyone wanted to be a part of her life.  She was special, but more to the point, she made everyone else around her feel special.