The Don: Sebastiano (Stud Mafia #1) (29 page)

She was probably wondering why I insisted on coming with her. All I knew was I didn’t want her out of my sight. Not for fear of her being kidnapped again but because I never tired of looking at her or touching her. My heart was constricting in pain that she’d ignored me the whole drive here. She was placing flowers on her father’s grave and I stood watching her with my hands in my pockets, waiting for her to acknowledge me. She didn’t.

I hated being ignored and I was surprised I’d kept my temper at bay with her. I was trying, trying so hard to be patient with her. I wanted to approach her but I was worried she may want to punch me out, and then I’d really lose my shit. I stepped a little closer to her.

“Sweetness,” I said in the faintest of whispers.

“What? What do you want?” She cleared her croaky throat, still facing the grave, still refusing to make eye contact. “What the hell are you doing here anyway?”

Her voice sounded like she’d been crying.
Shit, I never wanted to hurt her any more than she was already hurting. For Christ’s sake, I lo…Shit, no way. I can’t be in love with her, can I?
I turned my head toward the tombstone and then back to look at her. I was stunned with my own admission. Pulling myself together and out of my shock, I answered her, “I’m paying my respects, sweetness.”

“Why? You didn’t even know my father. Paulie should be here with me, not you.”

“Your family is my family now, Sierra. He was your father, so there is no other reason apart from that for me to share this special time with you,” I told her. Her rejection hurt, but I supposed I deserved it after I threw her declaration of love back in her face. I was hoping her anger would have calmed down a bit.

“Perhaps we should go visit your mother’s grave then? Is she buried here or in another cemetery?” she asked me with a bitter tone. I tensed and grimaced. Her features softened and I noticed she regretted asking me that question the moment it left her lips. “That was very rude of me. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

I cut her off, “My mother is buried in Sicily. I’ve not been back there for years, and I don’t care to go back in a hurry.” My father had many enemies back in Sicily and it was unsafe for me to return there. Not being able to visit my mother’s grave was a small price to pay. I was hoping to have her body transported to Australia by the end of the year. Until then, I had to rely on praying for her soul by attending weekly mass.

I was sure my Zio Joey would have something to say about bringing my mother’s body from Sicily. After our last conversation, he and his son had been behaving. How long that would last nobody knew. But if he so much as spoke a word out of place again, I’d cut the fucker’s tongue off.

“No, I’m really sorry.” She hesitantly stepped closer to me and gripped the lapel of my jacket as she stumbled into me. “Oh, shit, sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby, you’re allowed to touch me.” She seemed nervous all of a sudden. Maybe the old Sierra was returning.

She let go of me, somewhat embarrassed, and crouched down again in front of her father’s grave. “I want to bring my mother here next week, if the doctors allow it. I think it will be good for her.” She placed her flowers down on the grass. “My father was such a beautiful man. He gave me the best advice ever, but at the time I was a rebellious teenager and never really listened to him much.” I could hear the sadness in her voice. “He loved us so much. I miss him.”

“Baby, I know it’s hard when you lose a parent you love. I’m sorry. If I could bring him back for you, I would,” I said sincerely. My heart aching for her loss. It brought back all those awful memories of when I lost my mother.

Sierra blinked away her tears. As she stood up, she looked me in the eyes and said, “Yes, I miss him and I miss my parents being together. I’ve never known two people to be so in love. A love like that is so rare and so beautiful,” she choked. “But if I didn’t lose my father, I would never have met you, and I think that is a positive which came from a negative, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, it sure is, sweetness,” I replied. “A bit like that saying, ‘
every cloud has a silver lining
’.” She grinned up at me. Even with her swollen eyes and her puffy lips, she was still beautiful.

We stared at one another for a long moment. Nothing was said. I could only hear
the sound of nature and the whistling of the breeze. Sierra touched me, then stood up and put her hand on my forearm. I felt a jolt of electricity charge through my body the moment she laced her fingers through mine. Her tiny hand was lost in my large one. I couldn’t even remember if we had ever held hands before now. I froze as she stroked my roughened palm.
I was so confused. My emotions were running wild. I was at this exact same cemetery only a few short weeks ago for Teresa’s memorial service, but I felt no sadness for her death, only anger. I had no desire to even go and visit her grave. I’d rather spit on it than place flowers on it.

It was her fault Antonio took Sierra.

It was her fault her own daughter killed her.

***

SIERRA

It was Sebastiano’s turn to be silent on the drive home. He received a call and said he had to tie up a few things at the club and he’d be back for dinner. I had a great afternoon with Lorena at our first joint therapy session. I felt even better after we did a bit of shopping and then I came home and spent the afternoon with Nonna making pasta fettuccini. I helped her prepare the carbonara sauce. Ever since Antonio’s torturous death, I didn’t want to eat pasta with fresh tomato sauce ever again, so the men had to put up with a white-based sauce. They didn’t seem to mind. At least rolling out the dough and pasta sheets was a great stress relief for me. By the time I’d finished, I was covered in flour from head to toe. I kissed Angela on the cheek and ran upstairs to change.

I was in the bedroom, hanging and folding the purchases Lorena and I had bought earlier, when Sebastiano stormed in, slamming the door shut in a fit of rage.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

I stared at him blankly. Why would he think I was going anywhere? I’d been back for hours.

“What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere. Why would you ask that?” I squinted at him. His chest was heaving from exertion. He must’ve taken three to four stairs at a time.

“You’re packing all your clothes. You can’t leave me, Sierra. You can’t. If you want me to say I love you, I’ll say it. I don’t understand it, but all I know is that wherever you are is where I want to be.”

My breath faltered at the sincerity of his words, and a flush of warmth travelled through my body. My heart filled with an intensity of love I didn’t think was possible. 

“If love means I want to be the only man to be buried deep inside that sweet pussy of yours, then yeah, I suppose that’s love, isn’t it?”

I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He could be so sweet one minute and then a complete dumbass the next.

“That’s just sex, Sebastiano. Not love,” I said calmly. My body was shaking, my breath hitching – all evidence of calm was slowly slipping away from me. I didn’t want to lose him. I needed to remain calm. I needed to remember he was still dealing with his feelings.
I’ve just got to give him time and not push him.
“I’m folding and putting away my clothes. If I was leaving, don’t you think I would have had a suitcase out?”

He gulped and ignored my question. “Please, don’t leave me, Sierra. Please, I need you, sweetness.” His pleading voice tugged at my heartstrings. I wanted to just shake him and comfort him at the same time.

I swung around to face him. “So you need
me
. It’s not solely for the sex?” I fought to keep my voice calm. “You
want
me, yes. You like to dominate me in bed. You can have that with any woman.” Oh, God, the thought of him being with another woman was like a knife in my chest. Flashes of all our sexual encounters flitted through my mind at a hundred miles an hour.
He’s dominant in and out of the bedroom and I do enjoy it. I love it.

“No!” he yelled.

“Tell me why you need to be in control then? Why you feel the need to command and be so dominant in the relationship.”

“For fuck’s sake, woman, you are driving me crazy! I dominate you, and only you, during sex. I want to get so close and so deep inside you that sometimes I feel I can’t. No matter how much I try, I can’t get close enough.”

I looked at him like he’d lost his marbles. Was he serious?

“Take it or leave it but it’s the truth. I’ve never tried to control any other woman like I control you. I control you because I fear something might happen to you… you’ll run, you’ll leave or you’ll be taken away from me again.” He whispered the word ‘again’ so softly, it was barely audible. “I’ve waited too long for you, Sierra. I’ll do anything to keep you safe. I’ve lived a life of darkness, with hardly any love in it. My life will always be dark and dangerous. I know you’re aware of that but please listen to me. I need you…please…please, don’t leave me,” he begged.

Never had I heard Sebastiano beg before.

***

SEBASTIANO

“Sebastiano—”

I stopped her and held up my hand. “Please, let me get this out before I lose my nerve,” I appealed in a low voice. I was clenching and unclenching my hands by my sides. “I regret leaving you like I did in the shower this morning. I know I hurt you and I am sorry for that. I hate to disappoint you, sweetness. All I do is hurt you and it’s my greatest fear that I will only keep hurting you if you choose to stay with me.”

I drew in a sharp breath and continued, “You deserve better than me, baby. There are far better and far safer men out there who will shower you with the love you need. But if you walk out that door, my world will stop. You mean so much to me, Sierra, but I’m scared to love.”

Sierra closed the space between us and tenderly cupped the side of my face. Fuck, she was beautiful with her chocolate-brown eyes twinkling at me. “I know I love Lorena,” I continued, “but I have had that love for my daughter from when she was born. I truly don’t know what this type of love is, Sierra.”

I shifted from one foot to the other, nervous about what to say next. “I do have feelings for you, baby, but I’m confused.” I breathed roughly.

I took her hand in mine and held it directly over my pumping heart. “Before you came into my life, sweetness, my heart was fractured. It had no life before, but now it beats and has a perfect rhythm all because I have you.”

Although I hadn’t declared my love, I was baring my soul to her. Never had I allowed anyone to see this side of me before. Hell,
I
hadn’t even seen this side of me before.

“My heart is in your care, Sierra. I know I am not worthy of you, but I know I cannot live without you.”

***

SIERRA

He loved me.

Even though he hadn’t actually said the words, I knew Sebastiano loved me. For me, that was enough. I walked my hands up his chest, holding my hand over his heart; it was my heart and it belonged to me. I’d hold it forever and take care of it, just like he asked me to. The words he’d spoken before were enough for me.

“Let me dominate you, Sebastiano,” I challenged him. “Let me show you what love is and how you express your love to me.”

He loved me; he just didn’t realise it yet. I was going to give him a taste of his own medicine and see if he loved it just as much as I did.

“Tonight is going to be about us and no one else.”

I cupped his face, pressing a kiss to his lips. He moved his hands down to grip my arse. I moaned against his mouth. “Ah, ah, ah,” I said, waving my finger at him. “I told you it’s my turn to have fun with you. Let me take some control, baby. I promise, you will love it.”

I smiled cheekily at him when he grinned.

“I’m not a very good listener when I have the urgent need to be inside you, Sierra. Hurry up and play your game. I’m dying here.” He grunted as if he was in agonising pain.

I pushed him down onto the bed and immediately began stripping off his clothes, piece by piece. First, I loosened his tie and pulled it off. Next, I began stripping off his shirt. When I unveiled his chest, I noticed his rosary beads dangling around his neck.
Oh, this is going to be fun.
I almost did a happy dance as these rosary beads were my favourite. It was the one with the sterling silver tassels.

I continued my ministry of exploration, stopping every now and then to kiss an erogenous zone. I licked him from his navel to his collarbone and I sucked on his neck. His hands gripped the sheets, exactly what he did to me.

I unfastened his belt buckle and gently eased his pants from his legs only to realise he still had his shoes on. I tugged them off and threw them behind my shoulder, tossing them onto the floor. One of them hit the wall and left a black mark on it. “Oops,” I giggled.

“I don’t give a shit, Sierra. Wreck the whole fucking room. The only thing I care about is being inside your sweet body and fucking you hard.”

“Your wish is my command.” I slammed my lips down onto his, plunging my tongue into his mouth. He groaned, our tongues duelling together. Arousal spiked through me and I pushed my mound against him, feeling his cock harden. I kissed down his neck, sucked on his flesh, wanting to mark his body like he marked mine.

I saw his tie from the corner of my eye and an idea came into my mind. With his free hand, he caressed up my thigh to land on my pussy.
God, how easy is it to just give in to him and let him take over.
When he slipped a finger between my slit and slid it through my folds to rub my clit, I jerked out of his arms.

“No, stop. It’s my turn to dominate, remember?”

“Baby, I don’t think I’m going to be able to handle it. Whatever you have in mind, you better do it quick before I explode.”

Holy hell, was I going to be able to do this? Of course, I could; he’d be putty in my hands in no time. I moved off him and reached for his tie. He made a move to grab me, but I smacked his hand away.

“Don’t be naughty. I told you it’s my turn to dominate you,” I reprimanded him playfully.
“Just do it, Sierra,” he growled.