The Disappeared (47 page)

Mrs Emilia
Lovisa felt strange.

Actually she
felt a whole lot more than that. Strange was only the beginning of it. She felt
dislocated, you could say. But in the most pleasant way possible. The way she
felt when she had – by accident – taken too much cough syrup. Nebulous .
Peering through a dream into the light of day. As if a third-dimensional being
had suddenly inexplicably been granted a view of a fourth-dimensional world.
Her head was floating far above her body. Her heart pitter-pattered several
metres behind her chest. Images and words. Vivid. Exquisite. And strange. Floated
before her. Through her. Into her.

A sudden soft
universe opened up and closed around her. Opened up and spoke. Words became
sweet delicate things that floated on her tongue. While swirling galaxies like
soft cotton candy caressed her ears. All her senses became transposed.
Redacted. Then unified. A singularity of experience. And knowledge. 

The world
before her dissolved into a kaleidoscope of hard candy colours. Objects and
people lost their form and substance. Became nothing. Became everything. Fixed.
And separated. Things became their component constituents. The most essential
thingness of all things. And she saw. For the first time ever. The soul of the
breathing universe. Expanding outward. Then falling back into itself. The
exhalation and inhalation of its life cycle. An aeon to each breath. The cycle
that brings everything – backwards and forwards – into the beginning all that
is the end. Without beginning. Without end. Only the universal soul. Breathing.

And she saw
that all things were exactly the same. And exactly one. Division was an
illusion that arose with the senses. The senses gave birth to thought. And
thought gave birth to death.

Emilia Lovisa
turned to her husband of the last thirty years. They had shared so much during
that time. Grief. Happiness. Love. And loss. Two beautiful daughters. Five
beautiful grandchildren. One beautiful life oh thank you God.

Emilia Lovisa
turned to her husband and saw that now they shared this too. She took his hand.
And smiled at him. He smiled at her.

‘Manny, it’s
time.’

She took his
hand. And they stood up.

‘I’m going to
kill you. All of you ... you’ve been planning this all along. And I’m going to
fucking kill every single last one of you.’ Jansen’s eyes were exploding with
mad rage behind the barrel of his police issue Vector pistol.

After Joshua
and Duggan had discovered that Collie was missing they had stood for several
moments stunned into disbelief. Not talking. Not saying a word.

Duggan stepped
into the devastated bathroom. Contrary to all logic, he had moved aside a thin
strip of translucent shower curtain. Was he – impossibly – hiding behind it? Of
course he wasn’t .

Joshua
followed him into the bathroom, crushing shards of glass beneath his boots.
Collie’s disappearance brought back an eerie sense of
déjà vu,
recalling
the episode in the doctor’s consultation room. He had rationalised it then. It
had been a radio. The voices they heard. A burst of electricity had sent a last
spasm through a radio. Or a TV. Or something. And the two women had long since
disappeared. Fled into the bush veldt. Like they themselves should have done a
long time ago. But this. This broken bathroom and the little guy that just
disappeared into thin air. This was something else. Shit like this wasn’t
supposed to happen. It disturbed Joshua. Massively. Joshua had always lived in
a world of fists. Guns. Money. And violence. A world of realities. Harsh. But
realities nonetheless. You could understand them. Predict them. Even prevent
them or bring them about. But this. This was complete and utter bullshit.

‘What was
that?’

Joshua didn’t
realise he had spoken aloud. ‘Nothing.’ He looked around the bathroom. The
bullet that had blown apart the cabinet had also taken a huge chunk out of the
adjoining wall. It was immediately obvious that Collie had not intended to
shoot the cabinet itself. But rather his image in the mirror.
Why the hell?

‘What do you
think, dude?’ Duggan asked still gripping the shower curtain in his fist. ‘How
the hell could something like this happen?’

‘I don’t know,
man. It doesn’t make sense, does it?’

‘No, but
nothing makes sense anymore. Not today. Not here.’

Joshua
surveyed the mess that Collie had left behind. ‘What the hell was he shouting?
Did you get that?’

‘Kinda.’
Duggan thought about it. ‘Well, sort of.’ He gave Joshua a sheepish look. ‘Erm,
no ... not really. Who was he talking to, in any case?’

‘Dunno. And
why shoot the mirror?’

‘Hell yeah. Do
you know how much that’s gonna cost me?’

‘Dude, I think
we’ve got bigger problems than that.’

‘Yeah, I
guess.’ Joshua stared out the window at the deepening dusk. Duggan followed his
eyes. Then they looked at each other, thinking the same thought. They rushed
over to the window and pushed it open. It was big enough for a man of Collie’s
stature. Surely this had to be the explanation. Duggan and Joshua both crammed
through the window. And looked down at the ground below. It was a serious fall.
But what if? ‘What do you think?’ Joshua asked.

‘I don’t know,
dude. It’s possible. I guess anything is. But why jump through the window?’

‘Maybe he just
flipped.’ Joshua looked down at the ground below. It was a drop of more than
three metres. ‘Maybe right now he’s running around naked in the streets of
Bishop.’ Joshua turned around staring at Collie’s revolver lying on the floor.
He picked it up. ‘Let’s head back. And be the bearers of bad news ... again.’

Duggan
suddenly gripped Joshua’s arm. ‘Dude, I’m going with you.’

‘To the
restaurant?’

‘No, man. To
Obsidian. I’m not staying behind. I don’t care how dangerous it is. But I’m
not
staying behind.’

‘Well dude,
right now it seems the restaurant is the safest place to be. Are you sure you
wanna risk going with me?’

‘I don’t care
how dangerous it is, I’m not going to hang around the restaurant and wait for
this shit to happen to me. No ways, dude.’

Joshua nodded.
‘Well, in all honesty, I was gonna ask you to come with me in any case. I just
didn’t want to force you. So, yeah, sure thing. And welcome onboard.’ He
reached out a hand. Duggan grabbed it and shook vigorously. ‘I just want you to
know ... we may not be coming back.’

 ‘Dude,
anything is better than sitting around waiting for some strange shit to happen
to you.’

‘Cool. Let’s
move.’

They were
outside Duggan’s house when he stopped Joshua. ‘Why don’t we just go now?
Fuckit, we don’t have to go back to the restaurant.’

‘Duggan, I’m
not leaving without saying goodbye to Lindiwe. Besides, I think we need to tell
everyone what happened to Collie. Believe me, the first opportunity I get ... I’m
making my move.’

‘Okay, suit
yourself.’ The incident with Collie had made Duggan edgy and impatient. During
the walk back to the Abbot he walked in silence. His mind raced with awkward
and dark realisations.

When they came
within view of Moira’s restaurant Joshua pulled out the revolver and handed it
to Duggan. ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to have this.’ Duggan took
the gun and held it away from himself. Awkward and comical. As if it were a
thing infected or contaminated. ‘Dude.’ Joshua pulled Duggan’s hand towards the
earth. ‘Keep that thing pointed downwards, okay. You don’t wanna risk hurting
anyone.’

And so. With
Duggan recoiling slightly from the gun he held in his hands, they entered the
restaurant. Immediately Jansen approached them. ‘Where’s Collie?’ He looked
down at the gun Duggan was holding. And tore it from his loose grip. ‘And what
the hell are you doing with his gun?’

Duggan looked
at Joshua helplessly. ‘I ... erm ...’

‘We don’t
know,’ Joshua said. ‘He just disappeared.’

There was a collective
gasp. ‘Oh my God,’ someone said. ‘How could this be happening?’

Coetzee
approached them. ‘What do you mean?’

Joshua sighed.
‘Duggan was looking for the blueprint.’ Duggan held up the folded sheets as if
to corroborate Joshua’s story. ‘And uh ... Collie wasn’t feeling well –’

‘What do you
mean he wasn’t feeling well?’ Coetzee asked.

‘He looked ...
I don’t know, sick. He was pale and he was falling all over the place.’ In the
background Joshua could see Lindiwe approach. She was hugging herself and
frowning, sensing the potential explosiveness of the situation. ‘So we took him
to the bathroom, in case he wanted to throw up or something.’

‘Yes, he
wanted to throw up,’ Duggan said uncertainly.

‘Yeah, and
then we heard a noise. He was shouting.’

‘You’re lying,’
Jansen said with a fierce growl.

‘No, that’s
... that’s what happened.’ Duggan said.

‘And then we
heard a gunshot. And when we got there ...’ Joshua looked around at the people
that were beginning to gather around them. ‘He was gone. He was just gone.’

‘You’re a
lying piece of shit. You had something to do with it.’

The tension
and stress of the day was beginning to corrode Joshua’s ability to restrain
himself. ‘Listen, man. You’re out of your mind. I’ve got nothing against the
guy. I barely know him.’

‘It’s true. I
was there. He just disappeared.’ Duggan said trying to ease the mounting
tension.

‘You’re lying.
Collie would never leave his gun behind.’ Jansen pushed his face into Joshua’s.
The cold grey of his eyes was flecked with hatred. ‘What did you do to him,
white trash?’

‘Erm ... look
here, the window was open,’ Duggan said addressing Coetzee. ‘Maybe he just ...
lost it. And ran away.’

‘Or maybe he
just flushed himself down the toilet.’ Jansen didn’t take his eyes off Joshua. ‘I’m
telling you, this piece of shit had something to do with it. He’s one of them.’
Several people stared at Jansen in confusion. ‘Everything was fine until he
showed up. Now, it’s all falling apart, I’m telling you.’ Jansen stepped back
and pulled out his pistol. Using both hands he pointed it at Joshua’s face. ‘Today
is the day you die.’

Duggan
recoiled, pushing himself against the wall. Joyce Mohapi squeaked. There was a
scrape of chairs across the wooden floor as those nearest scurried to safety.
Lindiwe had her hand to her mouth. Her eyes were huge with terror. Joshua
remained still and composed. He realised any sudden movement would spell his
end.

‘Sergeant
Jansen, take it easy.’ Coetzee took a step towards his near maniacal
subordinate. The veteran policeman appeared drawn and haggard. Tired beyond
belief.

‘You’re behind
all of this, aren’t you?’ Jansen’s jaw worked frantically. His left eye
twitched in little uneven spasms. ‘I can hear you whispering. Making plans. You
didn’t think I could hear you, did you?’ He took a step forward, pushing the
gun into Joshua’s cheek. Something inside him suddenly detonated. In a split
second he turned apoplectic. ‘YOU DIDN’T THINK I COULD HEAR YOU, DID YOU?’ Foam
flew from his mouth. He violently thrust the gun into Joshua’s face. The force
of it shoved Joshua’s head to the side. ‘YOU DIDN’T THINK I WAS FUCKING ON TO
YOU, MOTHERFUCKER. DID YOU?’

‘Sergeant
Jansen, put your gun down. RIGHT NOW.’ Coetzee stepped up behind Jansen. He had
his hand on his own gun, still holstered.

‘I KNOW YOU’RE
PLANNING.’ Jansen’s face was a dark red with rage and chaos.

‘Sergeant
Jansen, if you don’t put that gun down right away, I’m going to arrest you.’
Coetzee pulled his gun from its holster.

Something in
Jansen’s eyes clicked. He shook his head as if suddenly waking up. He took a
step towards the entrance. And swept the gun from one end of the restaurant to
the other. All the townspeople exposed to this erratic arc tried to duck. Mr
Sacks knocked his chin on a table as he tried to escape Jansen’s line of fire.
Dora Cooper fell flat onto the floor her dress halfway up her waist. When
Jansen spoke, there was a new metallic viciousness in his voice. ‘All of you. I
know what you’re planning. They told me.’ He looked around. His head snapping
to and fro like a twitching insect. His voice was a low guttural snarl. ‘I’m
going to fucking kill you. All of you ... you’ve been planning this all along.
And I’m going to fucking kill every single one of you.’

Coetzee pushed
the cold metal of his gun barrel against Jansen’s neck. ‘Put that gun down,
Sergeant Jansen. Right now.’

Jansen’s eyes
twitched nervously. He looked from side to side. His jaw quivered impossibly as
if it had a life of its own. ‘But ... but ...’

‘Sergeant
Jansen, I will not hesitate for even a moment to use this. I’m giving you three
counts to drop that gun ... or I will pull this trigger.’ Jansen gasped for
air. His breathing came in little tugs. ‘One ...’ Joshua looked from the
Inspector to Jansen. It seemed unreal but he didn’t doubt for a single moment
that Coetzee would actually pull the trigger. That’s what the day had done to
him ... to everyone.

‘Please ...
they told me –’

‘Two ...’

There was
utter silence in the room as everyone’s eyes were fixed on the unfolding
spectacle. One policeman threatening another, who was himself threatening a
group of civilians. Jansen made little whimpering noises. ‘They’re coming to
get me.’

‘Sergeant, I
warn you.’ Joshua could see Coetzee exerting pressure on his trigger finger.
This was going to be ugly. ‘Sergeant ...’ Jansen emitted a low moan. Then
dropped his gun hand. Coetzee wasted no time in grabbing the gun from Jansen’s
limp grasp. There was an audible sigh of relief. Coetzee inserted Jansen’s gun
into his holster but kept his own gun trained on his subordinate. He pushed
Jansen against the wall. ‘What in God’s name are you doing, man? You’re an
officer of the law.’ To everybody’s utter astonishment Jansen began crying.
Sobbing hysterically. Coetzee looked around awkwardly. He placed a hand on
Jansen’s shoulder but said nothing. Completely speechless.