The Disappeared (35 page)

‘You were on
your way to him?’

‘Huh?’

‘You were on
your way to Joburg ... when I saw you this morning. The bus?’

‘Oh yeah.’ He
smiled. ‘I was on my way to his place.’ He paused. ‘We’re close. Big time.’
Joshua sighed. ‘Any case ... about the heroin ... he found out. I was trying to
keep it undercover, you know. Especially for my mom’s sake. But my chick at the
time, Shirley, a real cutie, she told him. So, he uh ... he took a sabbatical.
Well, first he kicked my ass. Solidly. And believe me, my
boet’s
the
only person in the world I would
allow
to kick my ass.’ Lindiwe could
see that this was no idle boast. She squeezed his arm. ‘Well, after he kicked
my ass, he hauled me off to my gran’s small-holdings in Polokwane. He kept me
there, like under lock and key for a three months. It was hell. The cold turkey
I mean. Hectic.’

‘Wow, that’s
amazing.’ The parallel to her own situation stunned Lindiwe and sent a cold
chill running down her spine. She felt her skin break out in goose flesh.

‘Yeah. Well,
it sucked, but it did the trick. And it saved me. I sometimes still think about
it. The heroin, I mean. But nothing serious.’ He paused musing. ‘A few months
after that ... a friend of mine ... real cool guy, he was a photographer. He OD’d
in Windhoek of all places. Can you believe it? So yeah.’ He smiled at Lindiwe. ‘I
know what it’s like to struggle with shit like that.’

‘Thank you, my
angel.’ Joshua looked at her with surprise. Her easy use of the term of
endearment would have shocked Lindiwe if it hadn’t felt so natural.

‘Why thank
you?’Joshua asked confused.

‘Just
because.’ She smiled at him. ‘Do you miss your brother?’

‘Yeah. I do.
We’ve been looking out for each other for ... well, just about forever.’

Lindiwe looked
at him tenderly. ‘Please tell me about yourself. If you like ... that is.’ Her
lips curled into a devilish smile. ‘Besides that you’re an escaped convict  ...
and an ex-junkie, I don’t know anything about you.’ Joshua chuckled at her
joke. ‘Are you sure? There’s not much to tell, you know. It could get boring.’

‘Are you
kidding? That can’t be true, surely?’

‘Okay. You
asked for it. But you have been warned.’

Lindiwe crossed
her wrists mimicking the universal sign for handcuffs. ‘Captive audience.’ She
laughed.

‘Oh yeah, you
are
on a roll today, aren’t you?’

‘I promise I’ll
behave.’

So then –
entranced by the beautiful girl on the other side of the iron bars – Joshua
told Lindiwe about his life. He told her about growing up in the rough streets
of Brixton Johannesburg. Two unruly sons being raised by a single mother,
struggling to make ends meet. About the father who had abandoned them while
Josh was still a young boy. The father they had only ever known through a few
grainy photographs. He told her about the close relationship between two boys.
About Davey and his personality that was so different to Josh’s. Socially
withdrawn. Studious and responsible. He told her about Davey’s early distinction
on the academic field. And his own prowess with all things related to sport. He
told her how – even though his brother was the elder – he had protected him
numerous times from schoolyard bullies. He told her specifically about the time
he had confronted the Neanderthal-like Boof and had taken a beating for his
brother’s sake. He told her about getting mixed up with the so-called wrong
crowd. Rebellion. Disillusionment. Being expelled from three schools. Giving
their long-suffering mom more than her fair share of gray hairs. Early teens
and experimenting with drugs ... and sex. How his brother was awarded a
scholarship to study at Wits. Working two jobs while at varsity to help their
mom with her meagre income. He told her about how easy it was to drift towards
a life of petty crime. How attractive the instant thrills and rewards of crime
became, especially when there was little in the way of aspirations or future
prospects. He told her about the relentless urge to punctuate the never-ending
tedium with meaning and excitement. About that cold rainy night in the back
streets of Brixton when he had made the biggest mistake of his life. Robbing
the poor terrified Taiwanese family. About Duke’s death. And his incarceration
at Westville and how all of his street-fighting ability was needed just to get
through an average day. He told her how he had become Willems’s public enemy
number one on his very first day when he had with little grace or ceremony ‘declined’
his offer to become his rent-boy. He told her about Rico. And how he had
humiliated the local bully and had booked himself a world of shit. And then, with
wide almost unbelieving eyes staring at him from the most beautiful face he had
ever seen, he told Lindiwe about his great escape and the cold uncertain nights
spent outside in the Free State bush veldt. And how this eventually led him to
a little town called Bishop.

‘Wow,’ she
said with undisguised admiration, ‘your life is like a movie.’

Joshua
shrugged. ‘Yeah, I guess. I just sometimes I wish I wasn’t playing a starring
role in this movie.’

Lindiwe looked
at Joshua in silence. She admired his quiet strength. And his raw manliness. ‘You’re
not half bad, Mr Joshua Kingsley. Not half bad at all.’

Joshua
returned the stare. A deep intensity burned in his eyes. ‘You’re the most
beautiful woman I have ever seen.’ He blurted out the words as if he were
afraid he would stop himself before he was finished. As if the intensity of his
statement would consume the words before he managed to utter them. Lindiwe
immediately averted her eyes. Joshua’s uncensored words had shocked her. And
more. It was cold water in her face. As if a klaxon had violently ripped her
from a state of deep sleep and dumped her into the cold waters of wakefulness.
She was suddenly aware of the thing that was now happening between them. For
the first time it was real. A living breathing thing that morphed and evolved
with every passing second. In the split second following his words the ‘thing’
that existed between them had been born. Fully formed. It was now something
that could be given a name. No longer a pleasant thought she toyed with in idle
moments. She realised without a pixel of doubt that the boy in front of her was
about to change her life in a way she had never dreamed possible. Anxiety laced
with a claustrophobic breathlessness assailed her heart. Lindiwe didn’t know if
she was ready for this. It was too much. After months of recovery. After a day
of unbridled insanity. It was just too much. And yet –

‘Lindiwe. Are
you alright?’ Joshua was on his knees again, sharp trepidation on his face. ‘Shit.
I’m so sorry. Really. I didn’t mean to uh ... scare you. Okay? I’m really
sorry.’ He looked crestfallen.

Lindiwe looked
at him in a daze.

And then she
saw it. So clearly it could have been right before her eyes.

A vision.

In a distant
land. In another time. As a desert moon climbed a windy sky. She had looked
into the same eyes. Dark eyes peering from the folds of a white turban. And she
had known. The way you know when destiny takes a detour into your life and
elevates the quotidian to the extraordinary. He was hers and she was his.

She had known
then.

In a distant
land. In a distant time.

She had known.

And knew now.

This was
destiny.

Lindiwe
breathed deeply for a few seconds. Then recovered. ‘It’s not you. Don’t worry
yourself, Josh. It’s been a long day. That’s all.’ She placed a hand on his
arm. ‘And thank you. I appreciate it. I guess it’s just been a while since ....
anybody paid attention to me.’

Joshua was
visibly relieved. ‘Are you sure?’ Lindiwe nodded. ‘Sometimes I get a little ...
intense, you know. Get ahead of myself, I guess.’

‘It’s fine,’
Lindiwe said. She tried not to speak anymore waiting for the beating of her
heart to subside.

There was a
moment of silence as they looked at each other. Joshua spoke first. ‘So, you
say it’s been a while. Won’t you please tell me?’

‘What? My last
–’

‘Everything.’
Josh slowly sat down again without taking his eyes off Lindiwe. ‘I want to know
everything. All of it.’

Lindi nodded.
She took his hand in hers and studied it. ‘You have such beautiful hands. It’s
strange considering how much fighting you’ve done.’ She looked at him
earnestly. ‘Promise me you won’t hurt them again. You don’t need to fight
anymore, Josh.’

‘I promise.’
And then, ‘Anything for you, Lindiwe.’

‘Thank you,’
she said, taking his hand and rubbing it against her cheek. She placed his hand
in her lap. ‘So, Mr Joshua, where should I begin?’

‘Start at the
beginning.’

Lindiwe
gathered her thoughts. ‘I was born and grew up in Eldorado Park, just outside
Johannesburg. You know it?’

Joshua nodded.
‘Not personally, but yeah. I know where it is.’

‘It’s the usual
story, I guess. Poor black family, struggling to survive, put food on the
table, you know. My mom ...’ Lindiwe sighed deeply. ‘My mom was amazing. She
was the most incredible woman I have ever known. Well, until I met
gogo
...
Mrs van Deventer. My mom would have liked her. I’m sure of it.’ She looked
up at Joshua to answer the question she knew was on his mind. ‘Estelle van
Deventer.’ It felt strange saying
gogo’s
name in full. As if her loss
... her death, had finally become a concrete reality. ‘She’s been taking care
of me ever since I came to Bishop.’

Joshua nodded.
‘Okay.’

Lindiwe said
nothing for a few moments, musing in silence. ‘My mom worked all the way in
Bryanston. You know what a commute that is. She would get up at four in the mornings
and only get back at eight at night. She worked so hard. So very hard.’

‘And your dad?
You haven’t mentioned him. Did he also run off somewhere?’

‘My dad? No.
He was around. But he was just ... I don’t know, a man who lived in the same
house as us. He wasn’t a bad father, I guess. He wasn’t much of a father at
all, in fact. I don’t really remember him being around a lot. Especially when I
was young. He was just a weak and unfocused man, I guess. He never kept any job
for very long. He was in jail a couple of times. Silly things, you know. Drunk
and disorderly. Petty theft. Fighting.’ She looked at Josh and smiled. He
returned the smile with a touch of embarrassment. ‘My mom was half his size but
she was definitely the boss in the house. And you know how unusual that is for
a Xhosa household.’ Lindiwe chuckled sardonically. ‘My father wasn’t half the
man my mother was.’

‘Hectic.’

‘Yeah. My mom
worked for this Jewish lady in Bryanston. Mrs Goldberg. When I was very young
she used to take me to work with her. Wow. You should have seen this mansion.
Incredible.’ Lindiwe stared into soft space. Lost in thought. ‘I can’t remember
exactly when it happened ... or how. But at some stage Mrs Goldberg noticed
that I was ... well, I guess that I wasn’t stupid or something. So, she offered
to pay for my tuition and to send me to a proper school. Can you believe it?’

‘Wow!’ Joshua
was genuinely impressed.

‘Yeah. Wow is
right. But you haven’t heard the best part yet. She didn’t want me to go to
just any school. Oh no. She sent me to St Mary’s Convent in Randburg. One of
Johannesburg’s best private schools for girls.’

‘Wow. You went
to a private school. Kick ass.’ Joshua stared at Lindiwe with admiration. ‘That
explains a lot.’

‘I’ll take
that as a compliment, Mr Kingsley.’

‘Hell yeah,
you should.’

Lindiwe
smiled. ‘St Mary’s was the closest thing to a culture shock I have ever
experienced. It was a different universe. On the other side of the galaxy from
Eldorado Park. Most of the girls were little spoilt brat bitches.’ She quickly
looked at Joshua to note his reaction to her curse word. But he didn’t seem to
notice. ‘They made sure I never forgot where I came from. Even some of the
black girls treated me like ... well, the child of a domestic. That’s the new
South Africa for you, I guess. I was shocked.’

‘Yeah, I can
imagine.’

‘But I made a
few good friends. And the teachers were kind and helpful. I guess that Mrs
Goldberg was on the school board didn’t do any harm. Her daughters attended the
same school. But they were way older than me.’

‘Your mother
must have been really happy. I mean that you got to go to a private school and
all.’

‘Oh yeah,
absolutely. But from that point she had to work even harder to support me.
Believe me, at a private school, the fees are only a small part of the costs.
There were school uniforms, projects, camps, fund-raisers ... fund-raisers ...
fund-raisers. I could never understand why a school that charged so much for
school fees needed to have so many fund-raisers. Holy moly.’ Joshua chuckled. ‘My
mother got a second job, working on weekends at some family in Midrand. She
even started a business selling chickens from her house. She worked so hard
.... just for me. She never did her hair. While the other woman in our
community spoilt themselves with new clothes, she would mend hers. She did all
of this so her only daughter could enjoy the things she never had.’ Lindiwe
paused. And began crying quietly.

Joshua reached
through the prison bars and stroked her cheek. ‘Please don’t cry. Don’t carry
on. If it’s gonna make you sad. You don’t have to tell me.’

‘It’s fine. I’m
okay.’ She wiped a tear from her cheek. ‘I loved her so much. She was such a
wonderful woman.’

‘It sounds
like it,’ Joshua said stroking her arm.

‘I worked
really hard, at school. All the way through. Even when I became a teenager.
There was no time for parties or boyfriends or anything like that.’

‘Bummer,’
Joshua said with exaggerated disappointment.