The Dirty Divorce Part 3 (13 page)

How could Rich and my mother do this to me?

As I slid my chair back away from the table, Mary, an older white woman who’s room was directly next to mine started talking. Ever since the first day I arrived, her breath always smelled like she’d just ate a bag some bad fish.

“Lisa, where are you going?” Mary asked.

“Mary, go play in traffic, damn.”

“Why should I do that? I would get hit by a car or something.”

“That’s my point. Slow Sally.”

“Lisa, you know I’m Mary.”

Feeling an instant headache coming on, I placed my hand on my forehead. “Mary, please shut the fuck up!”

“It’s your birthday. You should be happy.”

“I won’t ever be happy until I get away from you psycho muthafuckas!” I belted.

“Nurse, nurse, Lisa hurt my feelings,” Mary cried like a five year old.

I couldn’t believe the old bitch was actually crying real tears.

This place was insane
, I thought before getting up from the table and strutting to my room.

This wasn’t the way I wanted to bring in my first birthday divorced from Rich. I always envisioned me partying and laid at the end of the night by somebody I’d just met. I just wanted to do the unexpected, but my life had definitely taken a turn. God knows I wanted to get out of this hell hole and enjoy my birthday. Anywhere but here would do.

I wasn’t even in my room ten minutes before someone knocked on the door.

“If that’s one of them foolish-ass people trying to sing happy birthday again, it’s gonna be a damn problem.”

Opening the door with a serious attitude, I stared at Nurse Betty with an evil glare.

“What the hell do you want?”

“You have a gift from someone,” she replied, with a nice sized box in her hand.

I snatched the package away from her. “Thank you. You can leave now.”

“Lisa, you really should stop focusing on being so rude toward people and try to smile. You’re going to overcome this. You’re different from the others.”

“Oh really? Well, if I’m so different why can’t I have anymore visitors for a while?”

“Because you attacked your cousin that last time she was here,” Nurse Betty advised.

“How many times do I have to tell y’all that bitch wasn’t my fucking cousin? Besides, she attacked me!” I pointed to the small scar under my right eye.

“Lisa, there’s no need to get upset. Maybe the Director will be willing to let you have visitors again once you prove that you’re able to control your temper. I’m not here to decide who attacked who first. Be happy that you got your cell phone back. Most patients don’t even have that privilege.”

I wasn’t in the mood for her lecture. “Are you done?”

Nurse Betty looked like she wanted to slap some sense into me. “Actually, I am,” she said, before turning around and slamming my door.

Not giving a damn if she was mad or not, I inspected the box that had two cards attached along with a beautiful pink ribbon. I couldn’t wait to see what was inside, and even more so who the sender was. Looking at how well the package was wrapped, I knew for sure that it wasn’t from my mother because this definitely wasn’t her style. Her cheap-ass only used dollar store gift bags with a little tissue paper stuffed inside. Looking at my calligraphy written name on the card, I knew the box had to be from Cornell.

Maybe he had a change of heart
, I thought. Before I could open the envelope my phone rung, it was Jermaine.

“Hello, Jermaine.”

“Happy Birthday, Boo-lite!”

“Thanks, babe.”

“Sista, do me a fava. Look in your room and please tell me that my work bag is still under the desk.”

“Your bag?”

“Yes, Chile. I haven’t seen it since I did your hair that day.”

“Hold up, let me look. Is it a blue MCM tote?” I asked a few seconds later.

“Yes. Thank God. I was stressing because my good shears and razors are in there. Girl, I just got back from ATL and had a client this morning that I needed to give a razor cut and didn’t have my tools. I was praying to God them people in that place didn’t take my stuff after I had to sneak it in there.”

“Well, it’s still here.”

“Alright, well, you know me not having my tools is messing with my coins, so I’ll be up there later on today to pick it up and bring your birthday gift I brought you back from Atlanta.”

“Thanks sweetheart. Now, let me get back to opening my birthday gifts?”

“Of course, Miss Thang. Love you.”

“Love you more.”

Opening the first envelope, I pulled out a card titled,
“From Your Son on Your Special Day
.” Thinking that was rather odd, I stared at the word son for a few seconds, before a picture of Juan and I fell out.

“What the hell is going on?” I said to myself before reading the card.

Hoping every hour of your birthday brings you reasons to smile, and not a minute goes by without you knowing just how much you are loved. Wishing you a day that’s as special as you are.

Love Forever,

Your Son

Juan

PS…Mom I’m okay. Don’t worry we’ll be together soon, I promise.

I was confused. Was my son really alive? I needed more answers. My mind started running rapidly as I instantly got emotional. Juan was my world and to know that he was really alright overwhelmed me with anxiety. Not only did I miss him like crazy, I needed him now more than ever.

I gazed at his signature for a few moments, remembering the exact way he made the loop for his J. “Oh my God. I can’t believe this.”

As tears rolled down my face, I reached for the gift before opening the next card. I really had to know what was inside now. Tearing the beautiful paper off and opening up the box, I peeled off the several layers of black tissue paper before realizing there was nothing inside.

What the hell
, I thought.

Just when I was about to turn the box over, I saw a red piece of tissue paper at the bottom that had something inside. Thinking this entire situation was bizarre, I grabbed the paper and opened it. When I saw my Tiffany barrette inside, I immediately felt sick to my stomach. I didn’t know what to think.

Ripping the next envelope open by this point, the second card had a huge clown on the front. As soon as I opened it up, the card started singing,
Tears of a Clown
by Smokey Robinson.

Now there’s some sad things known to man

But ain’t too much sadder than…the
tears of a clown

When there’s no one around
.

However, the picture of Denie and Cornell that was inside, literally had me fuming. There she was, hugged all up on him while both of them smiled from ear to ear. It even looked as if Cornell was enjoying her company from the way he leaned in. I was heated. My hands even began to shake as I opened the letter inside the card as well.

Hey Lisa,

Yes, I took the time out of my life to put this special birthday gift together for you. No, Juan isn’t alive dummy. I knew I would get you with that one. I forged his name really good don’t you think? As I write this heartfelt birthday note, I’m sitting here cracking up laughing at how mad you must really be right now. Okay, so I know you’re wondering what’s up with me and Cornell. Well, I can see why you were loving him because he’s a great guy and the sex is out of control. I heard those ball players could ball out in the bedroom, but damn girl why did you choose the coke over his fine ass. I get high off his love alone. Well, I don’t want to get you all moist thinking about my new man, I just want to thank you for leading me to him. At first it was all about getting back at you, but now I really love him. He’s just what I needed in my life. Now that Rich doesn’t want you, Cornell is with me, and Juan is gone, you ain’t got shit. That’s why I thought it was important to be there for you at the lowest point in your life. Happy Birthday bitch. Oh, and have fun in the nut house.

Yours Truly,

Denie

The bitch had the audacity to kiss the letter with red lipstick. To say that I was furious would’ve been putting it lightly. The fact that she was sick enough to send me a card and sign Juan’s name told me that her ass needed to be in this place and not me. When my thoughts suddenly shifted to Cornell, I picked up the phone and dialed his number immediately. The phone went to voicemail the first two times I called, but I hadn’t planned on giving up. By the time I called a third time, he finally decided to answer.

“Didn’t I tell you not to call my phone anymore!” he belted.

“Fuck you, Cornell! I thought you were different but all y’all niggas the same. How are you gonna go and fuck Denie!”

“Man, get off my phone Lisa! I don’t owe you shit. You really do need help!”

He hung up on me, but I called his ass right back. I ended up calling at least six more times, but each of my calls were directed to his voicemail. I ended up leaving three hateful messages, until I heard a familiar voice. It was Juan.

“Ma, you should’ve lisened to me. I told you not to fuck with him.”

Looking up, I saw my son standing near the door. I hadn’t even heard him come in. “Juan, is it really you? Is it really you, Juan?”

“Yes Ma, happy birthday.” He moved closer to the bed.

Dropping my phone, I covered my mouth in complete disbelief. “Oh, my God, Juan. You’re still alive.” I stood up to hug him, but he held up his hand.

“Ma, you can’t tell anybody. The Feds snuck me here to see you, so I don’t have a lot of time.”

“Oh my goodness, please just hear me out. I always wanted to tell you how sorry I was for arguing with you that day. I love you Juan and I hope that you can forgive me. Can you get me out of here? Juan, I need you to sign me out of here. Can you do that for me?”

“Ma, no one can know that I’m alive.”

“But Juan I don’t belong here. Do you think I’m crazy, too? All you have to do is take me out on a pass.”

As I pleaded with my son, one of the white, younger nurse’s, Gretchen walked in.

“Lisa, are you ready for your dinner?”

“Nurse Gretchen, this is my son Juan. He’s taking me on a home pass today for my birthday. Juan tell her.”

He seemed pissed that she’d seen him in there.

“Juan, it’s okay, tell her. Tell her that you’re taking me out to dinner for my birthday.”

“Lisa, there’s no one here. Your son passed away. Don’t you remember?” Gretchen asked.

I pointed. “Gretchen, he’s right there. Don’t try to make it seem like I’m crazy.”

“You’re not crazy sweetie, but you are here alone,” she assured.

When I turned back around, Juan was gone. I had no idea how he’d left the room without her seeing him. I also couldn’t believe that he’d left me once again. No matter what Nurse Gretchen said, I knew for a fact that I’d seen my son. He was there.

“So, are you having dinner in your room, sweetheart? Or since it’s your birthday do you wanna switch it up and eat in the media room?”

“No, and I’m not your fucking sweetheart!” I snapped.

She left out of the room shaking her head and no longer pressing the issue about me eating. I felt so alone and defeated. Not only had my son left me at a time when I needed him the most, but Cornell had made it clear that he didn’t want anything to do with me as well. What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe Denie was right. I was worthless and no one wanted me. Even my mother hadn’t been back to see me since our argument over a month ago. That bitch didn’t have any problems staying up in my house, but couldn’t even pick up the phone to call.

Was I bei punished for killing my own daughter,
I started to think.

If Carlie was here, maybe Cornell and I could’ve raised her together. Maybe she was my savior and I’d ruined it by taking her life.

Drowning in my sorrows, I suddenly felt like I didn’t deserve to live anymore. Feeling completely alone, I laid across my bed and cried feeling sorry for myself. As the tears started to burn my eyes, all of a sudden something came over me. I got up and started pacing the room back and forth.

“I hate all of you!” I yelled. “Fuck everybody!”

My body seemed to be consumed with rage until I suddenly heard my father’s voice.

Lisa come to me. Come to your Daddy. I love you. I’ll always love you. Carlos is here with me and we’ll both love you forever. Carlie is here, too. She forgives you. Come to us. No one here will ever hurt you. No more Rich. No more Denie. No more of your mother. She never really loved you or me anyway. Come with me my daughter. I’ll love you for eternity.

That’s when it clicked. I knew what I had to do and didn’t understand why it took me so long to figure it out. Instantly, I jumped up and went straight to Jermaine’s work bag. All this time my ticket out of this place was right under my nose.

Walking over to the desk, I prepared for the meeting with my father. It was time to face everyone I’d ever let down. Since my father had promised me that Carlos and Carlie had forgiven me, I was ready to see them. We would all be a family. That’s all I ever wanted. I just wanted to be loved. I’d been weak for Rich and everyone else for so long. Now, I wanted to be strong. I wanted to escape Rich and everyone else who’d caused me pain.

As I dumped the bag on the desk, I picked up the razor as a slight smile appeared on my face. There it was… my one way ticket home. It was finally time. I laid back on the bed and prepared myself. After saying a quick prayer I placed the razor to my throat.

“Here I come, Daddy,” I said just before it was finally over.

Chapter 15
Marisol

“So, you decided to short me on my money, nigga? You think just because Renzo is locked up and I run shit now that you can just do whatever the fuck you want? You think just because I’m a female, you can’t be dealt with?”

I knew I shouldn’t have been talking so reckless over the phone, but my anger had obviously clouded my judgment.

“Marisol, I swear to you, I counted that shit five times. It was all there. I swear on my kids, I would never cheat you,” Devin pleaded.