The Dialogue of the Dogs (10 page)

Berganza
: Just two more things and there’s an end to it, since day seems to be coming.

One night when my master Mahudes was going to beg alms at the house of this city’s mayor, who is a great upstanding gentleman, we found him alone. It struck me that I should take advantage of our privacy to pass along some advice I’d once heard given by an old patient at the hospital, all about how to remedy the notorious condition of vagabond girls. By not entering household service, they fall into evil ways—so evil that hospitals fill up every summer with the profligates who consort with them, an intolerable plague that begs for a quick and effective cure. Anyway, I wanted to say all this to the mayor and I raised my voice, thinking I already had one. But of course, instead of pronouncing some well-reasoned argument, I barked so fast and so loud that I annoyed him, and he ordered his servants to chase me out and beat me senseless. Ah, if only one lackey in
particular had been without his senses. But instead he heard his master’s command, rushed in and grabbed a copper amphora that came to hand, walloping me about the ribs so hard that I bear the scars of those blows yet.

Scipio
: And is this all you’re grousing about, Berganza?

Berganza
: Well, don’t I have a right to complain if it still hurts, as I’ve said, and if I didn’t do anything to deserve this punishment?

Scipio
: Look, Berganza, nobody should meddle where he isn’t welcome, or butt into matters that have nothing to do with him. And you should remember that, no matter how good, the advice of the poor is never taken. The lowly should know better than to try and advise bigshots and know-it-alls. The wisdom of the poor is hard to make out—the shadows of need and misery obscure it, and even if it’s noticed, people write it off as stupid and treat it with contempt.

Berganza
: You’re right, and as a champion meddler, from here on in I’ll follow your advice.

Another night I entered the house of a lady who had in her arms a lapdog so small, she could have hidden it in her bosom. The creature saw me and jumped from its mistress’s arms, chasing me with a great barking fury, and didn’t stop till it bit me in the leg. I turned around and marveled at it, with anger and not a little respect, muttering, “If I were to catch you in the street, you
wretched little beast, I’d either ignore you completely or tear you to pieces.” It struck me that even lily-livered cowards are brave and reckless while in favor, and they have no scruples about offending their betters.

Scipio
: You can see it in those little men who let fly with their insolence—all the while basking in the shade of their masters. If death or misfortune fells the oak that protects them, their paltry courage is revealed. In effect, their good qualities have just as much value as their owners and protectors lend them. Naked or clothed, alone or in company, virtue and good sense are ever always the same. Sure, these qualities can take a beating in other people’s opinions, but not in the true measure they deserve.

And with this, let’s close the book on our chat. The light showing through these cracks means that morning is here. And tonight, if this great boon of speech hasn’t deserted us, it’ll fall to me to tell my story.

Berganza
: So be it. See that you come to this same place …

At the same time, the scholar finished reading the dialogue and the ensign woke up. The scholar said, “Though this conversation was made up and never really happened, it strikes me as so well-crafted that your mercy may as well go on with the second one.”

“If that’s how it looks to you,” answered the ensign, “I’ll get cracking and buckle down to write it, and not busy myself any more arguing with you about whether the dogs actually talked or not.”

To which the scholar said, “My good ensign, by all means let’s not go back over all that again. I get how cunning and imaginative this colloquy is, and that’s enough. Let’s go the riverfront and feast our eyes, since I’ve already nourished my imagination.”

“Let’s,” said the ensign.

And, with this, they were off.