The Devil's Tattoo (25 page)

I never got drunk. It wasn't my thing, killing brain cells and
wasting a day away on a hang over. But right now, it's all I wanted to do. So,
I sat at the bar and ordered a triple scotch and coke and a bottle of cider.
The scotch was gone in under a minute and the cider began to follow. All this
anger was unnatural. It pooled in my gut like acid and I would have done
anything to dull it.

I'd been sitting there for at least ten minutes when someone stood
next to me and it was the last person I was expecting. But, the more I thought
about
it,
it was the one person that would have wanted
to confront me. After all, I'd wanted to do the same thing, albeit for
different reasons.

Mish was standing there, her pretty face contorted in anger. She
stood right in my personal space and I couldn’t have cared less. "Stay
away from him," she said like it was a threat. "Will is mine."

I stared at her, unblinking and without a trace of emotion, I said,
"If you are so secure in your relationship, then why do you feel the need
to come over here and bother me with your pathetic, empty threats?"

Mish stared at me open mouthed and I knew I should have felt a
little good about the fact I had her lost for words in under five seconds, but
she was still standing all up in my face. So I continued, "If you don't
mind, you're in my personal space and I would advise you to get the hell out of
it."

She took a few steps backward, her eyes betraying her fear. As much
as I wanted to hurt her, laying a finger on her would solve nothing. She wanted
to hurt me too, but it was better to leave everything well enough alone. So, I
just turned around and sat back on my stool and downed a mouthful of cider,
staring into space.
Some after party.
Some fucking tour.

"Zoe?" Chris was beside me. He'd witnessed my moment of
moral triumph. "That was epic."

"Was it?" I shrugged.

"Here's to
tellin
' crazy bitches
what for," he tapped my bottle with his and gave me a wink.

Suddenly, I felt a little better.

I looked up and saw Mish talking to Will, the expression on her
face furious and she's pointing at me. He looked over and caught my gaze and
all I could do was sigh and look away. I didn't have anything left inside of me
that gave a crap. This just had to end. I couldn't see him anymore. I couldn't
be within five feet of him. I had to get away if there was any chance of me
coming back from this again.

"I've
gotta
get out of here," I declared suddenly and Chris gave me a look.

"Are you okay?"

"No. I just need some air." I snatched my jacket from
the bar and walked away, my breath tight in my chest.

I couldn't really hear over the music, but someone grabbed my arm
as I moved through the room. I figured they were trying to call out to me, but
I didn't hear. When whoever it was pulled me around, I stiffened. Will was
holding my arm, some unknown expression on his face, along with a dark bruise
below his right eyebrow where Dee must have punched him. It burned where his
fingers touch my bare skin and it hurt too much. My heart felt like someone
just stabbed a piece of jagged glass right through it and I tore myself away.

"Zoe," he said and it came out strangled.

"Don't touch me," I hissed, taking a few steps back.

"Please, Zoe. Let me explain."

"No."

"Why are you pushing me away? I want to make this better. I
can't…" He ran a hand over his face. "Why won't you let me
explain?"

Suddenly, I don't feel so numb anymore. Anger welled up inside me and
it's all I could do to stop myself from punching him in the face and giving him
a matching bruise. Instead, I let it all out. "Because when your boyfriend
of three years that you love and trust comes home and tells you he's been
seeing another woman for six months behind your back and that they're getting
married a week from fucking Tuesday…" I almost choked on a sob and
clutched my arm to my stomach. "He broke more than my life. That kind of
shit destroys a person. It destroyed me for such a long time and fucked if I'll
let someone else do it to me again."

He's looking at me open mouthed and I swore he might start crying.
There's nothing else to say, so I just turned and walked away. Let him go back
to Mish. Let him do what he wants. I can't care anymore. I don't care.

But, he grabbed my arm again, stopping me from running away.
"Zoe, you're everything to me. Don't say this meant nothing to you."

I wrenched myself away again and I slapped him in the face,
hard
.
"It meant everything," I hissed as his hand came up to his face in
wide-eyed surprise. "Then you shit all over it. I let myself care and all
it did was this. You do it once,
then
it's only a
matter of time before it happens again. I won't be that person ever again. I
won't let anyone else be that person." I took a few steps back. "Stay
away from me."

This time he didn't come after me as I pushed my way through the
crowd. Outside, the air was cool, so I threw my jacket on and flipped up the
collar. People were milling outside the bar and the security guard nodded as I
caught his eye. Giving him a thin smile I walked up the street a short way,
looking for a quiet place to clear my thoughts.

I ducked into a dark alleyway and leant my forehead against the
cool brickwork. I was only a few steps within, so the
street
light
lit me up as I tried to calm myself down with deep breaths. It
wasn't working that well.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and thought about calling Dee,
but I'd dragged him through enough of my shit already. It wasn't fair to him to
keep leaning on him as much as I had. His life had suffered for it too, in a
way.

"Hey, baby."

My head snapped up at the sound of a familiar voice. Just outside
the alleyway in the orange streetlight, stood the man who I had once loved. The
man that had
lied,
cheated and broke my heart.
The man who had destroyed my life.

I took a step back, suddenly wary, and clutched my arm.
The arm that he broke.

"Jason."

My heart thudded in my chest and it was another emotion he made me
feel now. It was
fear
.

CHAPTER
THIRTY-THREE

WILL

My hand shot up to my face, clutching my stinging cheek. I
deserved that a million times over.

Zoe took a few steps away from me, a look of absolute loathing on
her face and my heart broke. I did this to her. I broke all the promises I'd
made. She deserved better.

As I watched her run down the stairs and out the bar, I
realised
that this feeling I had for her wasn't lust or
mere like.

I was in love with Zoe Granger.

If she wanted me to go, I would. But I had to tell her. Before she
kicked me to the curb once and for all, she had to know.

"Will." It was Mish, creeping up behind me like the
fucking snake she was.

"Go away, Mish."

"You're seriously going after her after she just hit you? She
doesn't want you, Will."

"Shut up," I hissed, turning around to face her. "I
fucking love her. Zoe is ten times the woman you are."

Her eyes widened in shock and she looked like I'd just slapped
her.

"You fucked this up," I spat. "And what for? I
could never love you. Not after all the shit you put me through. I never want
to see you again."

Before she could start another argument, I spun on my heel and
walked away.

Zoe had just run out into the middle of the city
on her own, in the dark
. Anyone could be out there. I
couldn't just let her go. Not in her state of mind. I would never forgive
myself if something happened to her because of me.

Taking a deep breath, I thumped down the stairs and pushed the
door open, the cool night air hitting my face.

CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR

ZOE

Jason stood at the end of the alley, hands in his pockets, a smile
on his face. He hadn't changed much since the last time I'd seen him. Same
messy brown hair, same broad shoulders,
same
playful
demeanour
. Except now, I knew it was a mask that hid
something else.
Something that had always been there.
Buried.

"I saw your gig tonight," he said, taking a step towards
me.

Instinctively, I took one back, but it was only into the darkness of
the blind alley.

"How've you been?"

"How've I been?" I spat in disbelief. He was asking this
now
?

"Yeah."

"
Awful
," I hissed.

"Yeah, so am I." He seemed to take my barb the
wrong way. I meant I was awful because of him. I was broken because of what he
did to me.

I hesitated, wary of his intentions. What did he want from me?
He'd done more than enough already.

"Zoe, I…" he frowned, stepping closer. "I broke
things off with Deb. We're getting divorced."

"Good for her." So her name was Deb. He left me for someone
named Deb.

"I
realised
something."

"That you're a douche?"

Anger flashed in his eyes but it was so fleeting, I wondered if I
had imagined it. "No. I
realised
that I should
never have left you."

Well, this was news. He should have thought about that for the six
months he was off sleeping with this Deb chick behind my back.

"I don't want to know."

"Zoe, I want you back. We can fix this."

What the hell
.
Was he
deluded? Was he high on something? "Did you break her arm, too?"
I asked, my voice hardly audible, even to me.

"What did you just say?" His eyes were suddenly full of
astonishment.

"I said
,
did you break her arm,
too?"

"Zoe, I didn't break your arm."

Rage suddenly flared up inside me and I couldn't hold it back.
"You cheated on me for six months, then when you finally had the guts to
come clean, you hit me then pushed me down the stairs. You left me there!
You're nothing but a heartless fucking prick."

"Zoe, I
apologised
for hitting you.
I didn't mean it. I didn't."

I had no patience for his attempted lies - I was so angry tears
began to fall. "I laid there alone in the dark with a bone sticking out of
my arm in fucking agony! You lied to everyone and destroyed my life, Jason. I
feel nothing but hate for you."

"
Zo
, you need to calm down." I
barely registered that he was looking around warily, as if someone would come
along and bust his arm or god forbid, find him out for the liar he was.

"You want me back?" I scoffed. "The only reason you
don't have a criminal record is because there were no witnesses. You knew it
the moment you decided to run. And here you are, the moment I get it back
together, trying to worm your way in."

"Shut up," he hissed, stepping towards me, anger flaring
up in his expression.

"Stay away from me, Jason. If I ever see you again, you'll
regret it."

That was the wrong thing to say. His expression contorted as he
lost control of his rage and before I could get out of the way, his fist came
through the air towards me. You know when people tell you afterwards, that
things happened in slow motion? That they could see everything happening before
their eyes in tiny bite sized chunks of time, but can do nothing to stop it?
That's what happened right now. Jason's fist hurtled towards me and I couldn't
get out of the way. When it connected with my left cheekbone, I felt nothing.
It was surreal.

And just as suddenly, I fell to the ground on my side with a
surprised gasp. I clutched my face, sharp stabbing pain beginning to throb
through my skin.

"Zoe!"

I looked up, my eyes wide and I saw him. Will was stalking towards
us, his eyes flickering from me to Jason and I swear he was going to snap and
launch himself head first into a fight.

"Stop," I said and peeled myself from the gutter.

He didn't hear me and pushed Jason hard in the chest. "What
the hell man? Beating up on a woman."

"Who the hell are you?" Jason scoffed, pushing him back.
"What's it to you? Mind your own business."

"I love her and if you lay another finger on her, I swear to
god..."

I scrambled to my feet and pushed between them. "Stop
it."

"He hit you," Will
said
thinly,
the anger in his voice raw. He stared at Jason, not taking his eyes off of him
for a second.

I ignored him, turning back to Jason. "Once a hitter always a
hitter."

Jason was seething and I knew I'd hit a nerve. Was this the reason
this Deb was divorcing him? Had he shown his true
colours
to her as well? 

"You fell. How many times do I have to explain it to
you?" He was so delusional, had he managed to convince himself his lies
were the truth?

I let out a snort of disbelief. "God, you even believe your
own lies. Does it help you sleep at night? Knowing that you broke your
girlfriend's arm and lied to everyone about it? Knowing you destroyed my
life?"

Will's voice was dangerously low. "He hit you
before?"

I nodded, not taking my eyes of the man that ruined my life.

Will gently pulled me aside and stepped up in Jason's face and he
looked like he was about to beat the hell out of him. One thing I know is that
I won't let anyone fight my battles for me. I won't be a victim again. I saw
Will's hands ball into fists, knuckles white with tension and before he did
something he was going to regret, I stepped forward and punched Jason in the
face.
Hard
.

He stumbled back a step, hands on his face and Will stared at me
with
wide eyed
surprise.

"Bitch," Jason spat at me, hands clutching his face.

"I hope that hurt," I said, pointing a finger at him.
"If you ever come near me again, I'll rip your balls off and feed them to
you."

I was so wild with anger, when Dee suddenly appeared behind
me,
I almost turned around and hit him as well. The security
guard from the venue had followed, hopefully at Dee's request.

"
Woah
,
Zo
,"
he said, holding my shoulders. "Settle down, it's only me."

"Dee?" I asked, blinking hard. My hand suddenly began to
throb and my face matched its pace. I remembered this feeling. That day, after
I'd been picked up off the ground by the paramedics
, they
said that my body had gone into shock. My strong
demeanour
suddenly crumbled and tears began to fall, even though I tried hard to keep
them in. I didn't want Jason to see me cry. I didn't want Will to, either.

I didn't understand what was happening when Dee eased me into
Will's arms. I could only watch as my best friend hit Jason hard in the face,
putting him flat on his back. He got what he deserved, but I couldn't feel
anything.

Dee hauled Jason off the ground and shoved him against the wall.
"You're not going anywhere. Will, call the cops." Shoving Jason hard
again, he spat, "You're not getting away with it this time, you hear
me?"

"I've got it, mate," the security guard said in a deep
rumbling voice, frowning at Dee, but he didn't mention anything about the
perfectly aimed punch that Jason had just received into his left eye. He had a
phone in his hand and dialed triple zero.

Will guided me around the corner, so I didn't have to look at
them, but he could have taken me anywhere right then and I wouldn't have
fought. I buried my face into his shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent,
trying to shut out everything. His hands rubbed my back soothingly and right
then, I didn't hate him.

"It's going to be okay," he murmured into my hair and I
hoped he was right.

When I'd composed myself enough, I pulled away from him. I
couldn't let him touch me any more than he had. I'd said that I didn't want to
hear him explain, but after the way he stood up to Jason, I knew I had to let
him. I leant against the wall behind me and closed my eyes, aware that he
didn't move from my side. I pressed the back of my hand against the cool
brickwork and hoped I hadn't done anything more than bruise it. Even though it
had felt good to take control and thump Jason, I needed that hand to play
guitar.

It wasn't long before the police arrived and relieved Dee and the
security guard of their guard duty. They handcuffed a furious Jason and read
him his rights before stuffing him in the back of their
divi
van.

"Are you okay, miss?" one of the police officers asked,
his voice changing drastically.

I nodded, wiping my eyes.

"He's going to spend the night in the lock up anyway, but I
have to ask if you want to press charges."

I nodded again, unable to get the words out.

"You'll have to come down to the station in the morning and
give your statements," the cop said, handing Will a card. "Then we
can take it from there."

"Thanks," Dee said, shaking the officer's hand.

"Miss, are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital? We
can call an ambulance if you need it."

"No, I'm fine," I said, shakily.

"Someone better take the young lady home," the cop said.
"She looks pretty shaken up.
And someone should stay with her in case she has a
concussion
." He looked between Dee and
Will and they both nodded.

As the cops drove off, leaving us alone in the street, I suddenly
felt exhausted.

"Zoe?" Dee asked, squeezing my hand.

I drew in a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. Closing my
eyes again, I said, "I need to talk to Will."

"Are you sure?" I knew he was giving an epic death stare
at the guy who'd stamped on my heart the night before, but I had to do this.

"Yeah."

Then we were alone.

There were a million questions I wanted to ask him, but after what
had just happened, I couldn't think of what any of them were. Will's actions
had erased most of them. He'd defended me from my past, just like that, and
he'd said… Before I could believe that, he had to answer the one question I
remembered.

"Did you mean it?" I asked, looking up into his stormy
grey eyes. "Did you mean to kiss her back?"

"No," he said like he was pleading with me.

"Why did you?"

"I don't know. I
realised
what I
was doing a second too late. I told her I was in love with you, but she came
back again tonight and…"

"Stop," I whispered. He was in love with me…

I knew I didn't have the right to be as angry as I was with him.
We both had twisted relationships that had tried to crawl in and ruin
everything. He hadn't been truthful, but neither had I. I had to let him
explain, but right now, I just wanted to go home.

To Will's surprise, I stepped into him, resting my head against
his shoulder. "Take me home."

We were silent all the way back to my place in St Kilda. When the
taxi dropped us off, I led Will up to my little apartment and pulled him into
the darkness. I was so aware of his proximity in the gloom, that my amped up
emotions latched onto the fact he was there beside me. I'd always been
attracted to him, but this was something else. Suddenly, I understood the way
he'd needed me the day before and after everything, I couldn't believe it had
only been twenty four hours. All I could think about was the fact that I
physically needed him.

I was overwhelmed, but all I could think about was his lips on
mine. This was an emotional release. I needed him to give it to me. My hand
fisted into his shirt and I pulled him against me, sucking his bottom lip into
my mouth. Instantly, his body responded and he caught my kiss with one of his
own. Moaning into his mouth, I felt my insides clench in anticipation.