The Destroyer Goddess (84 page)

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Authors: Laura Resnick

Tags: #Fantasy, #Fiction, #General

BOOK: The Destroyer Goddess
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By dawn, the loyalists had decisively won the battle. There were still assassins somewhere out there, as well as a few surviving waterlords, but they were being hunted down and killed, or else fleeing Sileria. The Honored Society was crushed and shattered. Kiloran was dead, as were almost all of his allies. After a thousand years, the waterlords' era was now passing into legend, their way of life vanishing with today's sunlight.

"The world is changing," Tansen murmured, "and we must change with it." 

Zarien returned from the stream where he'd been fetching water. "Sister Velikar is a nasty woman," he said. "Don't make me go anywhere with her again."

"She's grieving for Baran," Mirabar said. "She adored him." Her face suddenly crumpled and she turned away.

Zarien gave Tansen a panicked look, as if expecting to be accused of having made her cry. 

"Baran never got to see you," Tansen said gently. "Mirabar knows... how much he wanted to."

"Oh. I'm sorry I didn't get to meet him,
sirana
." Zarien looked polite as Mirabar made a watery reply, but Tansen knew he didn't really understand. The man who had wanted to be his father, like the woman who had been his mother, probably didn't even seem real to the boy.

Kiloran
had been real to him, though. And Zarien, who hated violence and loathed killing, had nonetheless been willing to kill to save Tansen from the old waterlord.

Without asking, Zarien peeled away the dressing on Tansen's
shir
wound—ignoring his protest—and examined it. "I can heal this for you, you know."

"Oh... let's just leave it," said Tansen.

"No, I can—"

"No, I really don't want—"

"Why not?" Zarien demanded impatiently.

"It's not that bad."

"You don't trust me?"

"I trust you. Water magic just makes me queasy."

"You'll be sick a lot then," Zarien informed him. "Especially if we're going to live at Belitar."

"We're not going to live at..." He saw the look that Zarien  exchanged with Mirabar. "We're going to live at Belitar?"

"Well, not while I'm mourning Baran, of course," Mirabar said virtuously. "But in time..."

"I hate Belitar!" Tansen protested. "It's damp. And depressing. Everything's moldy. And it's haunted!"

"Nonetheless," Mirabar said with a distinct lack of sympathy for his views, "the ones who can teach Zarien to use his water magic wisely live there. Since your son and your wife will live there, I naturally assumed..."

He sighed, then winced as his rib protested. "
Belitar
."

"I was thinking of having some repairs done," she offered.

"It won't help," he said gloomily.

"Do the Beyah-Olvari still have to remain a secret?" Zarien asked.

"No," Tansen said. "The waterlords will no longer be a danger to them, and they deserve to be acknowledged for helping the Firebringer and helping Baran fight Kiloran. I don't know exactly how we'll introduce them to Sileria... It's the sort of thing Elelar can probably do well."

"So the Idalar River and the mines of Alizar are finally safe," Mirabar murmured.

"Elelar said the country needed money. Now the Yahrdan—or whoever becomes the regent, I suppose—can hire people to work the mines." Alizar had been rich enough to please the voracious Valdani, so it would surely provide well for Sileria now. "It'll help us recover from two years of war."

"Elelar will become the regent, won't she?" Mirabar said sourly.

"It seems likely," Tansen agreed.

"And perhaps you'll live in Shaljir for the next year," she added, her tone growing cool.

"There are Beyah-Olvari in Shaljir I could learn from." Zarien frowned and added, "But I didn't really like the Olvar, to be honest."

"I'm sure the
torena
could smooth things over." Mirabar's tone was almost icy now.

"Or we could settle in Emeldar for a while," Tansen suggested, thinking fast. "Since Baran cleansed the water supply, it's safe.

"Is Lann going back?" Mirabar asked.

Tansen shook his head. Lann had survived the battle, as had Pyron, and Tansen had talked to them both earlier today. "Too many sad memories, Lann says. He and his family want to remain in Zilar. Which is just as well. He'll be needed there." Lann had become an important man there during the struggle against Meriten.

Pyron, on the other, said he was sick to death of Dalishar, visions, war, and risking his life.
He
, he had informed Tansen, was going back home as soon as possible.

Vinn, who had also survived and would return to Belitar with Mirabar, had told them about Baran's death. The waterlord may have been a madman capable of any treachery, but he had fought the White Dragon in Kandahar to save Zarien and destroy Kiloran.

So Tansen supposed he couldn't object if Mirabar wanted to observe the traditional mourning period for her husband.

Now, gazing out at the growing mountain of lava which had once been Kandahar, Mirabar mused, "So this is why Josarian died."

"I still don't understand," Tansen said. "Why? What did Dar want?"

"The Firebringer wasn't just a leader," she replied. "Don't you see now? Dar also chose him as a consort."

"As a..." His gaze flashed to the mountain which was growing even as they spoke. "Do you mean..."

She nodded. "A lover. A partner. A companion."

"So you're saying
that
..." Tansen gestured to the active lava at Kandahar. "That's Josarian now?"

"'He is coming.' That's what the continuing visions at Dalishar meant. Josarian was coming. Dar's consort," said Mirabar. "It's what some of my visions told me, too, I think, only I didn't understand. And perhaps why there were so many earthquakes. Dar was trying to reach out to Kandahar to help the Firebringer emerge, if Kiloran could be defeated to free him."

"And when Tashinar died there, she remained to help Josarian," Tansen guessed.

"Yes." Mirabar looked sad again. "I believe her torment is now ended, too." 

She tilted her head, gazing at the eruption, which was fairly calm and steady. It didn't seem to threaten anything except Lake Kandahar itself, which it was gradually destroying as it rose higher and higher. It produced no ash and very little smoke. "Fire and water, water and fire... And when the mountain is formed, Josarian will inhabit it the way Dar inhabits Darshon."

"So that's what he meant," Tansen asked, "when he said he would always be here?"

"I didn't hear anything," Zarien said. Again. He still seemed to think Tansen had imagined seeing Josarian. But Tansen knew his brother had been real and, for a moment, had spoken to him from beyond the barrier of death.

Mirabar said, "He's immortal now. A kind of god."

"Then those vague stories Guardians and
zanareen
tell are true?" Tansen asked. "About a consort of Dar's who once lived in Mount Shaljir, long ago..."

"And before that," Mirabar replied, "there was a consort who lived in a mountain that exploded and fell into the sea. Where the sacred rainbow-chalk cliffs of Liron are now."

"Dar uses them up and burns them out," Tansen observed.

"She
is
the destroyer goddess," Mirabar said.

"So Josarian's not immortal now, after all."

"No, I suppose not," she conceded. "But he will be here for centuries after you and I are gone."

"And Dar wanted him to rise out of Kandahar," he mused.

"What better place?" she said. "The most powerful waterlord in Sileria—perhaps in all Sileria's history—has been replaced by the Firebringer."

"I'd rather Josarian had lived," Tansen said.

"I know." Her voice was gentle. "But would Josarian rather have lived?"

He met her eyes and nodded in acknowledgment of her point. Josarian had always been prepared to die. He consecrated his life to Dar and to Sileria, and was never again the same. Perhaps this was the way he'd have wanted things to end. In any event, it was the way things
had
ended, and Tansen had little choice but to accept that.

He could bear it. Josarian would always be here now, in a way. Always watching over them.

"
Sirana?

Tansen looked up from his seated position on the ground to see Najdan approaching them, looking a little drawn and tired after a wakeful night of guarding Mirabar while she participated in the Guardian assault on Kiloran's territory.

Najdan said, "We will be ready to leave for Belitar at first light." 

"So soon?" Tansen asked.

"The
sirana
," Najdan said, "should return home and rest."

Aware of the stern gaze her protector cast upon them, Tansen nonetheless tried, "Perhaps I should accompany—"

"That will not be necessary," said Najdan.

"But—"

"The
sirana
is a widow," Najdan pointed out, "and therefore in a delicate position. The war is essentially over, and she will now retire to her estate and observe the customs of her new situation."

"Mourning," Tansen said.

"Yes." After a brief hesitation, Najdan added, "However, it is not too soon for you to begin thinking about sheep."

"Sheep?" he repeated blankly.

"Yes. The bride price will be high."

Najdan turned and left them. Tansen stared after him, not realizing for a few moments that his jaw was hanging open.

"He's very annoying sometimes," he said to Mirabar.

"And you," said Zarien, "have never even been stuck on a boat with him."

"I suppose I owe you an apology," Tansen conceded.

"Many apologies," said his son.

"I know." Tansen regarded him seriously. "We have a lot to talk about."

"Yes. But I understand now."

"Understand?"

"About Armian," Zarien clarified. "I understand that he was... like Kiloran. And I didn't have to be at Kandahar long to understand what Kiloran was like."

"I'm sorry. I should never have—"

"Maybe it was meant to be this way," Zarien said. "Sharifar told me, the night she first sent me ashore, that someday I would have to decide what to do about my father. I was meant to..." The boy shrugged. "To
choose
. And I did. You were right—you're my father." He was silent for a moment before adding, "I was afraid of Kiloran, and afraid for everyone else because of him. He was... I didn't want to kill him, and I didn't really want you to kill him. But I know that he had to die. Sharifar said the world was changing, and I saw that he could never change with it."

"No," Tansen agreed, "he couldn't."

"Maybe... maybe Armian couldn't have changed, either."

"No, I don't think he could have."

Zarien nodded and fell into a pensive silence. After a while, he said, "I'm going to go back down to the stream—if you don't mind?"

"Don't stay long," Tansen said. "It'll be dark soon."

"Don't worry, I'll be back by then."

Tansen watched the boy go back downhill.

"If Zarien would like," Mirabar said quietly, "I can try to Call his mother for him."

Tansen was startled. "Alcinar? How?"

"I have something of hers, back at Belitar. A necklace of silver and jade."

"Silver and ja—That necklace Baran always used to wear?" Tansen asked. "It belonged to Zarien's mother?" 

"Yes. Baran let me have it, so that I might try to Call her and learn her true fate. She's never answered me in the flames, but—"

"How do you know that necklace won't Call
Baran
?" Tansen said grimly. "If he wore it ever since losing Alcinar..."

Mirabar looked stunned for a moment, then gave a rueful laugh. "Of course! It never even occurred to me, because
he
thought of the necklace as hers. But it hung around Baran's neck all those years, absorbing his bitterness and grief, his hatred—"

"His madness and his cruelty." Tansen shook his head. "Promise me you'll never Call him."

"I can't promise you that. Someday his daughter may want—"

"We'll deal with that when the time comes," he said. "But—"

"Baran's talent and skill were extraordinary," Mirabar pointed out, "and Zarien may occasionally need advice that the Beyah-Olvari can't provide."

"I don't want my son learning anything from Baran," he said firmly.

"Oh, but Baran could have been..." For a moment, the look on Mirabar's face as she remembered the waterlord made Tansen darkly jealous. Then she sighed and shook her head. "No, that's the past, and we must look forward."

"Zarien will find his way without help from a waterlord. Living or dead." He relaxed a little when he saw her nod in agreement.

"Now that he knows he has this gift, it calls to him," Mirabar observed, her gaze following the path Zarien had taken to the stream. 

"It called to him even before he knew," Tansen admitted, remembering. 

"Baran always said it was seductive."

"Zarien will be fine, though," Tansen said with certainty. "He doesn't have it in him to become like them."

"And you and I will teach him." She put a hand on her swelling stomach and added, "We'll teach them both."

He covered her hand with his. "Yes. We will."

Their eyes met and held for a long moment, full of promises and silent vows. Then, fearing Najdan might suddenly come upon them again, Tansen pulled his hand away. 

"Before you leave..." he said after a while, coming to a decision.

"Yes?"

"There's something I'd like to ask of you."

"Anything."

Tansen reached into his boot and pulled out Armian's
shir
. Mirabar's eyes widened in surprise, and he saw that she realized whose it was. Tansen said hesitantly, "He died... I killed him at the start of the long rains. So the season should be about right."

"You want me to Call him for you," she murmured, staring at the
shir

"It's time for me to confront my nightmares."

Mirabar met his eyes again, then nodded and rose to her knees. She blew a fire into being, the enchanted flames curling  magically to life out of the Dar-blessed miracle of her breath. 

"I can't touch the
shir
," she said. "You'll have to put it in the fire."

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